Dreaming of a Day
by Darlin
Summary: AU. Logan, Ororo & Victor triangle. Real life is never easy it's full of love, hate, lust, obstacles, revenge, betrayals, sickness & health. Enough to make you give up on love. Some Jott, with Remy, Yukio, Betsy & Charles, the local strip club owner.
1. A Surprising Invitation

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin **

**Disclaimer** – Don't own 'em, make no profit, just having a little fun – the usual.

**Summary** – This is completely AU. It's about a slightly odd friendship between Victor Creed, Logan and Ororo who have no powers but hopefully many of the same characteristics we all know and love – more or less.

**Warning** – I'm trying something different here. Because of the main characters, Logan and Victor, there's a little rougher language, a few cuss words here and there though not as much as it probably should be considering the characters. Later chapters may have stronger language and possibly some sex though nothing explicit.

**Chapter One – An Unexpected Invitation **

"Whyn't you come over, meet the ol' lady? We'll play some pool afterwards, have a few beers," Victor asked as he stood at the pool table off to the side waiting for Logan to take a shot.

Victor wanting his friends to meet his latest girl wasn't exactly unusual but an invite to Victors dump had Logan a little skeptical. For one thing they were already shooting pool and they'd had their fair share of beer since they got off work while playing the aforementioned pool. The pool room wasn't crowded, appropriately smoky, the music better than what they could get out of Vic's ratty old AM FM radio and Logan had no desire to meet another one of Victor's women who in general were usually abjectly stupid and beyond boring.

"Dude, you gotta see this one," Victor went on as if sensing Logan's reluctance. "She's a stewardess an' you know what they say about stewardess! Lo, bro! Every last thing I ever heard about 'em's true! She's so hot she can't keep her hands offa me. And that ass!" Victor laughed, moving his hands out in front of him as if he were imagining cupping her luscious derriere.

The way Victor liked his women was usually bursting out of their clothes, pleasantly phat as Victor liked to say, plenty of hips, ass and tits. Logan thought Victor's women mostly looked as if they'd made one too many trips to the plastic surgeon. While he liked big breasted women with tight firm rears he still liked them natural.

When Logan continued sizing up his shot and essentially ignoring his friend Victor gave him a frown which went unnoticed, and then said,

"You ain't never gonna see anything like this one. It's like I won the lottery an' got to take my pick at the Playboy mansion with her."

It seemed as if Logan was determined to ignore him. Victor watched as Logan finally took a shot. Several balls slammed into pockets much to Victor's annoyance. After Logan took a drag on his cigar he paused to glance at Victor.

"This the same chick you been chasin' after the past two-three months?"

"Victor Creed don't chase after no woman!" Victor retorted.

"Same woman you been yappin' about every day?"

"Dude, once you see her you'll see what I'm talkin' about! She was worth a little extra trouble to get. I ain't had no woman like her before."

"Never thought I'd hear you say that," Logan commented dryly.

"I ain't sayin' she's like the best I ever had – well she is. Man, is she good in the sack! The moves she has – things I ain't even thought about! I could screw her twenty-four seven an' she wouldn't be satisfied. Not like I can't keep her satisfied! I'm just sayin' she wants it all the time you know what I mean? She's like a nympho or somethin'. It's like your best wet dream come true."

When Logan turned his attention back to the pool table Victor went on,

"You know there ain't no woman I can't get. Just gotta know how to play 'em. Some need more finesse but you know me, give me enough time an' they're like putty in my hands."

"You getting serious about this one?" Logan asked as he chewed on his cigar studying his next move.

"Huh? What, me get serious?" Victor laughed but under the laughter Logan thought he heard a touch of doubt.

Whatever Victor was feeling it shouldn't concern him Logan thought and so he didn't let it. He merely shrugged and took his shot. He'd met so many of Victor's women it sometimes felt like they were on a carousel spinning so fast he could never keep up with them, never knew their names or even remembered what they looked like after Victor got tired of them. They never lasted long. Once Victor got bored he blew them off without a second thought, too into his latest woman. Logan thought Victor was kind of like a little boy when it came to women, like a kid in a candy shop given free reign, wanting everything, taking all his greedy arms could hold heedless of the pieces that fell to the wayside and then consuming them so rapidly he got sick only when the newest candy craze came out he recovered enough to demand a piece himself, nothing ever staying a favorite for long.

"So, um . . . come over 'round seven. She's a good cook. I'll have her make some steaks."

Dinner was it now? Logan quirked an eyebrow as he took his shot. Victor was asking him to have dinner with him and his missus! Now that was a first. Sure Vic liked to show off his girls but dinner? Logan straightened up, reached for his beer and took a swallow before bending to the table again to line up his next shot.

"You gonna come over or not?" Victor asked impatiently.

"Depends. What's she cooking?"

xox

Going home had never been something Victor looked forward to before. Home was a tiny little studio with few furnishings. There was a loft for sleeping that Victor used for storing garbage and junk. Below the loft there was a giant sized wooden spool left over from an old construction job, the kind they wrapped large cables around, four mismatched chairs and a large bean bag facing the huge plasma television and Play Station set up he had. Throw in a few mismatched lamps with light bulbs exposed just sitting on the floor here and there and last year's state of the art mattress and bedspring thrown on the floor without a bed frame and that completed the hodgepodge.

It had never been nice, certainly not welcoming even before his place had been ransacked by an angry ex. Usually Victor hung out at Logan's place which was bigger since Logan had a one bedroom apartment though it was almost as sparsely decorated. Sometimes he hung out at Cain Marko's condo, a mutual friend of theirs. Cain's place looked like something you might see on television or at the movies, a real smarmy bachelor pad, but Cain was usually out of town on business.

The state of his apartment had never bothered Victor even though he seldom had women over. He didn't care about the dirty sheets or the laundry scattered in piles everywhere until he got tired of looking at them then threw them away and went out to buy more clothes; he just didn't want any female getting the wrong idea. One thing he knew for sure was if you invited a woman over to your place she'd think she had you. Next thing you knew she'd be planning on meeting the family. Let her meet the folks, not that his were alive now, and she'd be planning the wedding without even so much as saying a word to the dude about it and when it didn't go down like she'd hoped and dreamed she'd be mad at the dude like he should've been on the same page as her, reading her mind or something.

He'd made that mistake once. He'd liked the broad too but it had turned into a horrible, hideous mess. Once was all he'd needed to learn his lesson. Clinging, jealous broads were the last thing he needed in his life. He liked life to be as uncomplicated as possible – what man didn't? A little ass, he didn't need a woman or want a woman for more than that, cold beer in the fridge, a good game of pool with his buds every night after work and he was a happy man. Throw in some pizza, some fast food or a good steak at Sizzler, skip the salads, and he felt like a king. No man needed more than that.

Now it just so happened that his current woman had a knack for making him feel like a king. She wasn't demanding, didn't ask about his family, his likes and dreams and she didn't demand anything from him. She'd given him more than sex and even though that wasn't what he was looking for she had a way with him without seeming to. Sure she was insatiable but there was something more there and that something more was what had sparked the invitation to dinner.

When she was with him he didn't feel drained like he did with most women, having to try to out maneuver them or out think them every minute. With her he had something he couldn't quite put his finger on but it was unassuming, undemanding and strangely nice. It was like all the demons in his head were resting when he was with her. All those faces he saw in his nightmares, the faces of all those men he'd killed in the war, they were gone now that she was in his life. He'd never be able to tell Logan or Cain that though even with them having nightmares about what they'd been forced to do in the war not that it would do them any good any way, not unless they could find a woman just like the one he'd found and she was one in a million, maybe one in two million – no, she was one in a bazillion, million in Victor's eyes.

Now as he unlocked the door to his studio apartment then kicked it shut behind him he stared at the woman that made coming home worth something now. She hadn't moved in, hadn't asked, hadn't moved even the smallest of her possessions in, but she'd be there when he came home from work just like this – slaving over the stove, cooking something that smelled real good usually wearing only an apron around her waist and nothing else. Could any man ask for more? Even kings didn't live this good!

"You're home early," she said, flashing him a warm smile while she stirred something in a pot on the stove.

"Miss me?" Victor asked in a voice that was thick with lust and something else he'd never thought he'd feel but wasn't quite ready to examine yet.

Even the question was unusual for him because he'd discovered that if you went there; asking if a woman missed you they thought they had you, like they'd managed to get to you somehow and you couldn't stop thinking about them. What's more he'd found if you were asking a stupid question like that they probably had gotten to you. After that one messy breakup he'd made it a rule never to ask such a loaded question – until now where the words just popped out without a moment's thought.

"Perhaps a little tiny bit," she said, titling her head a little away from him as if to determine her true feelings.

"I know you did. Damn, woman you know just what I like – look at you!"

She looked up at him, blue eyes sparkling mischievously and when she smiled it went straight to his heart. Usually it was only his loins that responded when he saw a naked woman but this one was different – special even. His brawny arms stole around her from behind and he pulled her close. She smelled like food and spices and something flowery – just real good and nice.

"Be careful, Victor, we don't want dinner to burn _again_," she said with a laugh but he didn't care if dinner burned or not no matter how good it smelled.

**A/N** - I got part of this idea from a friend I've made through fan fiction, Rose who goes by Nienna, a sometimes caustic but honest soul who will not hesitate to tell me when I've screwed something up and though I may not always agree with her I can't help but admire her honesty.

This story is completed through chapter twenty seven and may run up to thirty chapters. I put aside all the other stories I'd been working on once this idea came to me around the second of July because I couldn't stop plotting and writing this one. The idea actually came to fruition while I was waiting to get in to see the Fantastic Four movie, arrived quite early and writing it kept me busy during the wait.

I plan on posting at least twice a week possibly three times as long as my computer hangs in there. I'm still working it out as I go though, adding and revising so it's still a work in progress and I hope everyone enjoys it as much as I've enjoyed writing it.

Finally, I have a wonderful beta in Skyz (check her stories out if you like Buffy and Spike together and Storm and Remy though she needs to finish that one). I have to thank her a hundred times over for her immense help. And yes I'm finally finished with the blabbering. Sorry for the incredibly long note, will try to keep author's notes to a bare minimum in the future.


	2. Dinner

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin **

**A/N – **Just want to take a moment to thank all who were kind enough to take a chance on this very different story and especially those who reviewed. I really appreciate the honesty and hearing what you think. Reviews are always very much appreciated and sometimes keep an author going!

**Chapter Two – Dinner **

That night, the stench of burnt food was still thick in the small studio when Victor answered the long persistent ringing of the doorbell. It was seven sharp. Despite wrinkling his nose in distaste Logan thrust a brown paper bag at Victor who, though surprised that his friend had brought something, opened the bag to see what was inside.

"Tell me that ain't dinner," Logan groaned as he stepped inside, tossing his cowboy hat onto the old wooden spool as was his habit.

"Dude!" Victor shouted and he snatched the offending hat up and shoved it in Logan's face.

"What?" Logan asked, obliviously.

"We're going to eat there," Victor replied with a gesture towards the 'table'.

Where once the old beat up giant spool stood now there appeared to be a real table, still round and the same size only covered with a crisp white cloth that fell to the floor. Plates and stemware were laid out along with matching flatware and sitting in the middle of all this was a small glass with a handful of flowers in it. Logan felt like rubbing his eyes not sure he was seeing clearly. But yup, it really was matching flatware. A week ago you'd be lucky if you were able to find a fork in Vic's place and odds are it would've been plastic. Leave it to a woman to go messing up a man's kingdom, it never failed. Only as Logan looked around he saw this woman hadn't just messed around she'd been performing some kind of magic.

The four mismatched chairs had all been painted white. There were beige curtains at the window and some dividing the little kitchen from the rest of the room. Even the once miserable looking bed had been gussied up. Now it sat on a wooden platform off the floor covered in a beige kind of bedspread with a bevy of pillows also in beige and it the most amazing part was that it was made too, sheets tucked in with near perfect military corners.

It wasn't too fancy though, more functional than pretty Logan observed. The pillows were lined against the wall so that the bed looked almost like a couch and it now sat under a window so that it was framed by the new curtains. Even the mix matched lamps looked more uniform with new matching lampshades in an off white. It wasn't overdone, nothing frilly or anything a man couldn't live with, the only flowers were unobtrusive and there were no pictures on the blank off white walls.

It looked as if they'd or she'd just used some cloth and wood, probably not all that expensive either, but the place looked totally different. The grungy and empty look of the whole place was now clean and inviting even with the barren walls. The barren walls fascinated him the most, his girl would've put up pictures of flowers and people he didn't know. He still had a few of the pictures up, a compromise in order to avoid a fight and something he tried to ignore every time he entered or left his apartment. Removing them had proved troublesome when she dropped by unexpectedly. She hadn't appreciated waiting outside while he ran around trying to put them up again and she hadn't been any happier when she'd found them hanging askew. The thought of those pictures still made him angry and so he said now with some scorn,

"Damn. Aren't you the perfect little boyfriend?"

"It ain't like that," Victor said without anger. He pulled his wallet from a back pocket of his jeans then handed a folded piece of paper to Logan. "See, look at this. She always looks at those fancy magazines, you know like Marko has at his place in the john, an' she's always pullin' the pictures she likes an' this one we both liked an' well all it took was some wood, a few nails an' sheets – she made all of this outta sheets, can you believe that?"

"Um . . ."

"She ain't like your last frail, Viper now, movin' in an' changin' everything. Ro didn't even ask to do nothin'. You should look at some of those pictures she's got; maybe fix up that dump of yours."

That would have stung had Logan cared and prior to seeing the remarkable change in Victor's place he would have had a good comeback but there wasn't anything he could think to say now. He didn't need Victor reminding him of Merriem Drew – that relationship had been the worse he'd ever been in. She'd been so bad they'd started calling her the Viper. She'd been the first and only woman he'd ever asked to marry him.

At that time he'd been crazy in love with a Japanese girl, Mariko Yashida, which was how he'd met Viper. Mariko's cousin was having an affair with Viper but when the guy had ended it Viper had turned her eyes on Logan. Viper, while pretty, had hair dyed green more often than not, wore green lipstick and wasn't his Logan's type. He'd never looked twice at her because he had been thinking of asking Mariko to marry him.

And then she'd died. It was his fault. He'd turned Viper down, she'd made threats and the next thing he knew Mariko was ill. Viper had told him Mariko had been poisoned by her own cousin because he wanted to be the head of the family which meant the crime lord of the Yashida clan. Too late he found out Viper, as well as Mariko's family, had roots deep in the Japanese criminal world. But she'd ensured him she could get the only known antidote through her connections and he'd promised to do whatever Viper wanted as long as she saved Mariko.

Her price was marriage. Mariko lived for a week after the marriage then mysteriously relapsed. Her cousin thought she'd died from a broken heart. All Logan knew was he'd killed Mariko as sure as if he'd stuck a knife into her. After Mariko's death Logan hadn't cared if he lived or died. He drank himself into a stupor more nights than not and a depression sunk over him that had left him on the edge of a mental breakdown which was perhaps his saving grace.

He hadn't known Viper used the men she dated as body guards but when he'd been suckered into marrying her that's what he'd become. However a drunken bodyguard, Viper found, was useless and though she'd wanted more than just a body guard, offering physical love he'd finally wrangled a divorce from her. He'd never loved her. She'd known that, hadn't expected love and their marriage had never been consummated. They parted amicably enough but Logan had been scarred after that. She claimed she'd only done it for love but love like that he didn't need and the one love of his life was dead because of it. Now thoughts of Viper always put him in a foul mood.

"Yeah, Vic, maybe I do need to fix my place up, maybe find a cute little place to keep my tampons while I'm at . . ." His voice failed him, sputtered and died.

A woman had come out of the bathroom, tall and brown skinned with hair dyed an impossible snowy white. The sight of her caught him totally by surprise. She was nothing like he'd pictured. She looked like a model right out of a magazine or she could be if she'd been twenty pounds lighter but this woman didn't need to lose an ounce. Victor hadn't been kidding. She'd make the perfect centerfold in any swimsuit magazine or any girlie magazine.

"Down boy," Victor laughed. "Come here, babe, want you to meet the runt."

She came to stand beside Victor who snaked an arm around her possessively.

"Logan bro, this is my old lady Ro."

"Pleased to meet you," she said in slightly accented English. She nudged Victor good humouredly and extended her hand but Logan could only gape, mouth ajar. He wasn't sure what she was saying or what she wanted from him.

It was her smile that undid him but Ororo didn't let his behavior faze her. She dropped her hand to her side and continued smiling at him, her eyes full of bemusement. Victor laughed again. He enjoyed showing off his women to Logan more than any of the other guys. Logan was the decorated hero, the one women usually preferred even though he was a good foot shorter than Victor so when Vic scored with women like Ro it made him feel as if he was the better man. Logan had been with the same woman now for almost seven years so it was easier to rub Logan's nose in his successes with women.

The sound of the doorbell brought Logan back to his senses. He stuck out his hand a little late but she took it. Her grip was firm and strong and her gaze held his as if she wanted something from him, or so he thought and in his confusion he forgot to let her hand go.

"I'm Ororo," she said, still smiling her brilliant smile that made him feel weak all over. "I apologize about the horrible odor; we tried airing it out as best we could. Dinner . . . um . . . burned. All we have to offer you is pizza."

"Oh. Yeah? Pizza. I like pizza. Everyone likes pizza. Pizza's a good choice."

The door bell rang as if on cue and Victor handed her the forty ounce bottle of Budweiser. Ororo pulled her hand from Logan's as she took the bottle. She looked genuinely pleased exclaiming,

"Beer! That was thoughtful of you, Logan. It'll be perfect with the pizza."

"Um, yeah. Sure." Logan muttered.

After Victor paid for the pizza he found Ororo and Logan standing where he'd left them. She wasn't sure what to do with Logan.

"You have blue eyes," he said, rather inanely. "I mean they're pretty."

"They're contacts," Victor said.

Ororo shook her head but she didn't contradict him. Instead she apologized again, "I'm really sorry about dinner."

"He don't need nothin' special," Victor said and then as an after thought and with a sly grin – "Dinner sure smelled good till we got busy, you know what I mean, Lo?" And he winked at Logan who felt his face grow warm.

The crude remark didn't seem to bother Ororo. She merely shrugged and pulled a chair from the table. Logan quickly stepped behind her and held the chair until she sat down. Victor, aggravated by Logan's odd show of manners sat down and with a foot pushed a chair towards Logan.

"Oh, I forgot we have soda too," Ororo said and hopped up. Logan stood also. She glanced at him, not used to a man who hovered about as he did.

When she disappeared behind the long beige curtains they'd hung from the ceiling to keep the kitchen separate from the main living area Victor turned to Logan and asked,

"What ya think, huh? She's something else, huh?"

"Yeah. She's something else," Logan admitted.

"You won't believe this but that hair of hers is real. It's white all over. Kinda weird ain't it but kinda cool too them blue eyes an' all. She says they're real but I ain't never seen blue eyes on a black woman unless they was contacts."

Logan felt suddenly awkward, even a little embarrassed.

"And man can she . . ."

"Vic, man! She's in the kitchen!" Logan hissed. "She can hear you, idiot."

"She don't care. Nothin' I do bothers her. Lo, dude, I've been dreamin' of a day when I'd get a skirt like this. She's almost too good to be true. It's like I won the lottery or somethin'!"

Logan could hardly believe Victor's earlier statement. All Victor's women got fed up with his crap sooner or later. Even those he dumped first were usually glad in the long run. Raven had been the exception. She'd reacted like a mad fury slicing and dicing everything Victor owned which was one reason he didn't have much furniture now. She'd even keyed his car a beautiful seventy eight corvette.

Not satisfied with marking it up she'd waited till it was out of the shop then broke all the windows, flattened every tire and put sugar in the gas tank. Only a restraining order had kept her alive after that. You didn't mess with Victor's cars and expect to live. But no matter how vicious Victor could be Raven had him beat. In the end Logan had convinced Vic to let it go with just the court order and then he'd advised Raven to beat feet which she had despite her reluctance. Raven had been a lesson to them both.

Now Logan wondered what kind of woman this Ororo was. If she was putting up with Victor like he said then she was either a complete idiot or out for something. What she could want from Victor besides sex Logan didn't know because Victor wasn't rich, lived in a dump and usually treated his women fairly callously. He glanced into the kitchen frowning as he watched her moving around as if she were perfectly at home. Didn't Victor see that? Logan wondered what Vic was thinking, letting her cook and redecorate. They both knew if you let them get one foot in the door you'd never get rid of them.

Victor was thinking with the wrong head, Logan figured. But watching her he couldn't deny she was beautiful. Combine her incredible looks with that accent of hers and she was the kind of take your breath away beautiful – too beautiful for a guy like Victor. She needed a man who would treat her with more respect, someone more like him who didn't walk all over women. He just couldn't see what a beauty like that wanted with Victor when she could get any man she wanted? Yeah, she was seemingly nice enough, didn't act stupid or silly like most of Vic's women, but something had to be wrong with her he just couldn't figure it out yet.

He was suddenly caught off guard when she smiled at him from the kitchen. He quickly turned away. He felt as if he'd been busted. He could hardly breathe much less think straight when she'd looked at him. He didn't like that at all. Crushing on his best friend's girl was the last thing he needed.


	3. Stay a Little Longer

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin **

**Chapter Three – Stay a Little Longer**

It was hard to eat and drink while Ororo was trying to converse with him all the while smiling as if he was the only man in the room. The way she held his eye and leaned in toward him and even licked her lips occasionally bothered him. She was really nice, not just a pretty face. She was intelligent too. She talked about current events, the coming election feeding him questions trying to get him to come out of his shell and it almost worked.

It would have worked if it hadn't been for Victor who was eating most of the pizza while flicking channels on the remote. The fact was that Victor was the closest thing to a best friend Logan had. They'd known each other a long time and after they'd gotten over their initial instinct to kill each other they'd found they had a lot in common and worked out a kind of relationship that had built up into what it was now. They respected each other, liked to hang out together and show off in front of the other. Neither of them had parents or siblings or many friends.

They were as close as some brothers though they never spoke about how they felt about the other. It was just accepted. They'd had one rough patch in their friendship. While stationed out West before being deployed they'd met a beautiful Native American Indian woman. Victor had wanted her but Logan had fallen in love almost at first sight. They had nearly killed each other over her. In the end she hadn't wanted either of them. After that they'd made a pact that they would never let a woman come between them again and they'd pretty much stuck to it.

So no matter how intoxicating this new woman of Victor's was Logan would never make a move on her. And she was definitely intoxicating. One look at her and he'd been overcome by a sudden flood of emotion instantly changing something inside him. He couldn't explain it but he felt it and it bothered him. His instincts told him he had to get out of there and stay as far away from her as possible.

It was with only a little relief that he realized he'd probably have a few months to avoid her and then she'd be gone. Strangely though, mixed up with all the emotions she was bringing to the fore he also felt a little sorry for her. She seemed like a nice person, trying her best to make him feel comfortable, stoking both his and Victor's egos making them both feel important as only a woman who truly knows men can do. Suddenly he hoped Victor wouldn't break her heart.

"Yo, Lo, dude where you at?"

"Huh?"

"We ain't that boring you gotta spaz out like that," Victor said.

"You looked like you were a million years away," Ororo said.

"Huh? Oh, just thinking. Well, I gotta be going. Thanks for the pizza," Logan said, hoping he could make a quick exit. The pizza was gone and the bottle of beer finished, he'd done his time, Vic couldn't ask for more than that.

"You can't leave now," Ororo said.

"Why not?" Logan found himself asking.

"You can't drink and drive," Ororo replied.

"That all? He does it all the time," Victor said with a laugh.

"No. I don't."

"Yeah, you do, bro."

"I live right around the corner from Harry's, Vic."

"Oh . . . yeah, I guess you do."

"You'll have to stay for a little while. We could play cards or charades or something."

"Charades?" the men said together, their voices full of scorn.

"Well, perhaps not charades. Don't suppose you'd want to play Twenty Questions would you?"

They both shook their heads.

"Cards then? Perhaps a game of five card stud?"

"Only if it's strip poker. You up for that, Lo?"

For a moment Logan almost panicked. Victor could be joking, after all Vic had a weird sense of humor but even if he wasn't Logan didn't think this woman would go along with such a wild idea. Vic's old girlfriend Raven had jumped at the idea but she didn't have the class that this one had. Then he heard Ororo's light laughter and it surprised him how unconcerned she sounded and when she got up to get a pack of cards he found he could hardly think straight. Logan felt as if Victor was messing with him, putting his woman on display for him to drool over. The problem with that was – it was working.

"So, Logan do you have a girlfriend?" Ororo asked as she fumbled around in the kitchen drawers.

"He's practically married," Victor said.

"Oh?" She stood looking at him from the kitchen, the curtain's pushed aside. "You should bring her for dinner some day. I promise I won't burn it."

There was her sweet laughter again.

"I can't stay. I'll walk home, come back for my bike tomorrow," Logan said as pushed away from the table.

"Are you sure?"

"Stay, dude. This'll be fun," Victor said. He'd already stacked the pizza boxes on the floor making room for the game. "Get us a couple of beers, Ro."

"I'll get them," Logan said but when he started to stand up he immediately sat down again.

Ororo looked at him curiously but she placed a pack of cards on the table and gathered up the ice bucket and a few other items then went back into the kitchen. She returned with a dishcloth and two beers. After clearing the table of their dinner remains and wiping it off she disappeared in the kitchen again.

"I'll help you with the dishes," Logan said this time standing up without effort.

"Why're you acting all retarded?" Victor asked, annoyed with Logan's chivalrous behavior.

"Please don't use that word, Victor. It's not nice at all," Ororo called out, the first time Logan had heard her say something contrary to Victor but Victor only laughed.

"She's all into that politically correct crap. I call someone a faggot or something she's all over me but she knows that's just how I am. I don't care what you are. You know that. Could be blue or green, or claws comin' outta your hands for all I care. Big whoop."

Logan knew all that mattered to Victor was loyalty and honor, the same that mattered to him.

"I can't play strip poker with you and your girl, Vic," Logan said

"Oh, now I see how it is. You got a hard on for her," Victor said with a loud guffaw. "That's cool but you're still playing. Nothin' like dessert after dinner, you know what I mean?"

"You boys want dessert?" Ororo asked having only heard part of what Victor had said over the rush of running water as she did the dishes. "I'll make some brownies. They don't take long at all."

"And she don't make no box brownies and cakes either, dude. Man, can she bake!"

"I heard once you shouldn't drink an' bake," Logan said rather lamely.

"Arnold!" Ororo gushed. "He's one of my favorite actors. Do you like him?"

Victor burst out laughing. She was wiping her hands on a towel standing in the little makeshift doorway watching them.

"You remind me of Arnold," she told Victor. "Tall, muscles galore, only more handsome."

The compliment made Victor laugh again but it was a quiet laugh full of pride and pleasure. This woman knew just what to say to him and just what to do for him.

"Is she perfect or what?" he marveled.

"I'm hardly perfect," she said as she went back into the tiny space.

They listened to her pulling pots and bowls from the cabinets and Logan wondered how she'd find enough of whatever ingredients she needed to bake something.

"I should call my girl," Logan said.

"Whatever, dude."

Logan took his cell out and went into the bathroom. He didn't want to call his girl but he felt that he should. Talking to her would help bring him down to earth. She was a beautiful woman with a sweet personality. He could see her now in his mind. She had a great body though she was a little flatter in the rear than Ororo. And her hair was different from Ororo's, a dark red. In fact, she was the complete opposite of Ororo, he thought. She had pale skin that never tanned and deep green eyes.

For some reason he'd always had a preference for red heads and exotic women. She wasn't exotic in anyway but he loved her hair. And she was faithful and sweet and thoughtful and good even if she was a tad boring sometimes. He'd take boring any day over the stuff he'd gone through with Viper. He cared for his girl a lot but the truth was he still loved Mariko; still felt guilty over her death though he didn't think his girl knew. He knew if she did she would have left him a long time ago. Besides that she was hoping he'd ask her to marry him and her hints had been getting stronger and stronger lately. In a few months it would be seven years they'd been together. He could hardly believe it.

After Logan sequestered himself inside the bathroom Ororo went over to Victor. She was smiling, wiping her hands on a dishtowel. Victor felt a rush of feeling as she approached him and when she started to sit down he grabbed her pulling her into his lap.

"You know you're drivin' him crazy don't ya?"

"What?"

"He ain't never had a woman as hot as you. Can't you see how he's pantin' all over you?"

"I see him trying to be a gentleman."

"Why do you think he's actin' like that?"

"Because he's nice?"

"He's nice enough when you don't cross him. Cross him an' he's like that Tasmania Devil thing just remember that."

"But you're best friends, aren't you?"

"Friends," Victor corrected. "He ain't that good a friend that I wanna share you with him."

"Now you're being silly."

"You can't see how he wants you? You kidding me?"

She pressed her lips against his briefly then got up without bothering to respond.

"Yeah, you know he wants you," Victor grumbled but she still didn't reply.

At first it had made him feel good knowing Logan wanted Ororo but now it was starting to bother him. He didn't know why either. It had never bothered him before but then again Logan didn't look twice at too many of the women Victor had gone through. Maybe that was it. Still, Vic had actually liked knowing Logan was attracted to Raven on some level. Raven was the only woman Victor had come close seeing himself being with for the rest of his life. He'd liked her a lot but he hadn't been in love with her. Love was for saps.

Watching Ororo moving around in his kitchen filled Victor with mixed feelings and his face twisted into a deep frown. She was fine no doubt there. Everything he'd ever wanted in a woman. Best thing about her was how she didn't talk. She didn't talk back, didn't want to monopolize the conversation and in fact, didn't want to talk much at all. Raven was all mouth, course she'd been good in the sack, which made up for all her talk but too much talk got on Victor's nerves. If he had to rate Raven he'd give her a nine out of ten, maybe an eight and a half out of ten because she'd been so needy, always wanting to get her own nut off. But if he had to rate Ororo she'd be his first perfect ten. Maybe more realistically his first nine and a half because of all her politically correct ideas but without that she was perfect.

Too perfect almost. He'd known Logan wouldn't have been able to resist her any more than he had which is why he'd wanted Logan to meet her. It gave him a feeling of power knowing he had someone like Ororo, someone Logan would actually want too. Being tied down for seven years with the same chick had to suck. It felt good showing off Ororo to the runt. Real good.

Out of the blue she started humming while she moved around in the kitchen and he grinned and leaned back in his chair, the front legs lifting off the floor. This was what life was all about, a fine looking woman in the kitchen even with clothes on for the moment, baking real food too and a cold beer at his fingertips. Knowing your chum was in the bathroom with a hard on cause he wanted what you had was like the icing on the cake. The life of a king couldn't be much better, he thought but that same thought startled him and he sat up, the chair legs falling back to the floor with a dull thud.

What was he thinking? If anyone had a hard on over her it was him. He needed to get it together cause he was starting to think like a wuss. No woman was going to domesticate him. She wasn't all that – well, yeah she was but she was just a woman and that was all. A woman wasn't anything special. They were everywhere even for sale on the boulevard. Yeah, she was hot and knew what she was doing in bed but so what? Any woman would do to satisfy him when it came down to it. Let Logan lust after her but he wasn't going to.

But when she came back with another beer for him all he could think about was ripping her clothes off, throwing her on the floor and taking her right there. She looked liked she wanted it too, wearing that tight little tank top and those tight jeans.

"You okay?" she asked.

He wanted to tell her he was going to tell Logan to go so they could get busy but then he hesitated. Wanting her was beginning to be a habit. No woman should ever become a habit. Maybe he needed to pull back a little. It didn't make any sense for him to be so crazy about sex even if it was the best he'd ever had. He was beginning to think he might even be confusing the sex with the woman and he wasn't about to let that happen.

"Victor?"

"Where're those brownies?" he asked.

"They'll be ready soon," she replied.

"Well get on it," Victor said, giving her a slap on the behind.

She only chuckled and returned to the tiny kitchen. He heard her humming again and this time it grated on his nerves and he tried to ignore it. Only after a little while the sounds he heard coming from the kitchen began to lull him back into a sense of well being. As much as he didn't like it or care to admit it having Ororo there made his studio apartment feel like a home and it felt good. He just needed to make sure he didn't let it get out of hand.

**A/N** – I want to thank everyone for your kind reviews and let you know I should be posting again on Wednesday.


	4. Logan's Girl

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin **

**Chapter Four – Logan's Girl (Brownies anyone?)**

"Hey, Jean," Logan mumbled into the air, his cell pressed against his ear.

"Logan, when are you coming home? What are you and that animal doing? I thought you said you were only staying for dinner! Do you know how late it is?" she exclaimed in a rush.

His eyes closed as he held the phone to his ear. She complained a lot lately. She'd never liked him going out every night with the boys and so he'd tried going out every other night but she hadn't liked that either. They had their most serious fights about that. One year into their relationship they'd fought over that so much he'd felt like hitting her but instead he'd gone out with the boys, spent the next few nights at Victors sleeping on the floor and when he'd gone back she had been teary eyed and forgiving despite her anger. She'd just been glad he'd come back to her. After that she'd stopped arguing about how much time he spent with his friends and he hadn't abused her silence but had tried to spend more time with her. But that had changed gradually and now he knew she'd be pissed because this would make the second night in a row he hadn't shown up.

He'd unofficially moved in permanently with her about three years ago although he still maintained his own apartment around the corner from Harry's, his favorite bar. If she didn't like him going out so much he just didn't come home for a few nights and she'd be repentant and thankful when he did come back. He'd figured out how to make her feel guilty in order to make her shut up and though he felt a little guilty sometimes for doing that to her a man needed to be free to do what he had to do.

It wasn't like he was looking for someone on the side even if she was a little stingy with her favors lately. He looked at other women a lot but that was it. She wasn't bad in bed and had always been ready more or less except for that one time of the month when she took to bed with cramps so bad once she had to go to the hospital.

A few years ago she'd said a baby would fix all that and he had balked and bolted. That was their second worse fight. He'd been scared she wasn't taking her birth control and he'd all but moved out of her place. He'd done one of his disappearing acts, stayed away for six months never once calling her. He'd even told himself they were through and had a few romps with some of the girls that had been eying him for so long at Harry's. Then one day he'd seen her walking arm in arm with a guy wearing some kind of weird red tinted sunglasses.

They would have passed each other on the street without noticing each other except he was on his motorcycle waiting for the light to change. Neither of them had said anything but neither had they looked away. Then a horn had blown behind him and Logan had sped off. That night he had gone back to her and she had never seen the guy with the sunglasses again. They hadn't had a serious fight since which was one of the things he liked about her. And though he didn't spend ever night with her still she was content enough and since she didn't nag him he'd been content enough as well. But tonight was another story.

"Logan?"

"I'm here."

"When are you coming home?"

"Soon. Vic wants to play some poker."

"It better not be strip poker."

How did she know? He could never figure that out but she always knew what he was up to when he was with Victor, like she could read minds almost. Fortunately he didn't need to reply because she was always a little curious about Victor's women and she couldn't resist asking about the new one.

"I bet she's dumb isn't she?"

"Um . . ."

"Is she pretty? I mean, well you know what I mean. All his women are pretty in a cheap sort of way. She's probably like all the others, a skank," Jean laughed.

Logan spit out a mouthful of beer. "Um, no, Jeannie, she ain't a skank."

"Right. Will you please tell him you have plans already? It's getting late and I miss you."

"I will."

"Good. See you soon. Love you."

"Yeah."

There it was again – those words. He had never told her he loved her back and every time she said it the words hung in the air like some forecast of impending doom. She didn't say it often, seemed to say it only when she wanted him to feel guilty or so he imagined. He hated it when she said it. He supposed he loved her in his own way but it wasn't the all consuming love he thought love ought to be if you were going to settle down and be faithful the rest of your life, kind of what he'd felt towards Mariko. He knew he didn't want to sleep with only Jean forever. He'd fought off temptation fairly well but when they'd broken up that one time he'd enjoyed being with new women and it was hard to forget that sometimes. He didn't want to be like Victor, a new woman every few weeks, but he did want some variety every once in awhile.

Lately he'd even been eying that new waitress at Harry's, Domino she called herself – pale woman with a black tattoo around her eye, black hair, beautiful body, a real ambitious girl who could talk about guns and bikes like she was one of the guys. She was sweet on that one guy with the big body and little head from way too many steroids but he acted as if he were clueless or had a girl somewhere. Logan had never spoken to him, merely nodded in passing. A guy with a little head had to have a little prick, Logan thought but that was their business. Still, Logan hadn't made a move on Domino. He hadn't been with another woman since the big break up and that was two years ago, almost. Hard to believe.

He put the lid down on the commode and sat down. After running his hands through his hair he held onto two fistfuls of it and rested his elbows on his knees. He didn't need to be there in Victor's apartment with a woman that looked like she had stepped right out of the Playboy mansion and was made for only one thing and only one man, that man being him, not Victor. He thought about taking a quick shower, nice and cold before going back out there but quickly tossed the idea aside. They'd think he was crazier than he felt right about now but how to get out of playing strip poker with this woman in front of Victor? What was he saying? He couldn't play strip poker with her at all!

After a few minutes he got up and splashed cold water on his face then stared at himself in the mirror over the sink. He was getting old. Crows feet around his eyes and was that a gray hair? He pulled at it, finally plucked it out, looked at it and shook his head. Not yet. He wasn't that old at least.

"Okay, I'm going home no matter what Vic says," he told himself and he went out determined to stick with his plan.

Once in the main room the wholesome smell of brownies baking greeted him and he sniffed the air eagerly. He couldn't remember the last time Jean had baked anything from scratch. She was a box and can kinda gal not that he cared. Food was food. Still, the smell of rich chocolate brownies drew him into the kitchen.

"Smells good."

"Oh, thanks. Let's hope they turn out as good. It only takes about five or ten minutes to make them but sometimes they're not as good as I like them to be – I'm still getting used to Victor's oven."

Now that was a telling statement, Logan thought. He glanced over at Victor wondering if he was hearing what he was hearing but Victor was playing a video game on his PS2. Logan saw he was totally oblivious to what was going on and for a moment he didn't blame him. If this woman moved into his kitchen baking brownies and smiling like that he'd be completely oblivious too.

He stood by, thumbs hooked through the belt loops of his jeans just watching her as she finished cleaning the bowls and pans she'd dirtied up in an effort to please them. She wore a cute little apron with ruffles on it, the kind a French maid wears in movies. He could imagine her in it and nothing else but he forced himself not to.

"Don't worry about Victor," she said. "He likes to show off but I never lose at poker."

"You don't?"

"Never. A friend taught me how to play and when it comes to cards he's the best there is. Victor's good. I'm better. Victor's probably hoping you can beat me though."

"Like he's never seen you naked before?" He'd spoken out of hand and he felt like apologizing but instead he looked around the little apartment as if he wasn't aware he'd stuck his foot in his mouth.

"He's always up for an adventure," Ororo said with a chuckle.

"He's out like a light right now," Logan noted. In the far corner sprawled out on the oversized bean bag Victor was snoring peacefully, the controller still in his hand.

"He's sweet," Ororo whispered.

"I wouldn't know."

"You two have known each other for years – _you_ know."

"No. I don't know. Victor's never been the sweet type."

"Really? I can't imagine. He's the type that's all bark but inside he's a big teddy bear."

Logan couldn't help snorting. "Don't tell _him_ that."

"He wouldn't mind."

"Maybe not coming from you."

She stopped what she was doing and looked at him then and he didn't look away. Did she feel it too? Did she, he wondered? He wanted her to feel what he was feeling. He wanted her to want him as much as he wanted her with them standing so close like this. Her eyes were beautiful. Contacts were never that crystal clear and bright.

"How long have you and Victor known each other?" she asked as she turned back to the dishes.

"Since the Gulf War – fought in the same squad."

"Army buddies?"

"Marines."

"Oh! No wonder I'm attracted to him. There's something about a Marine, even ex-Marines. I can't resist them."

"Yeah? Well, Victor wasn't your run of the mill Marine," Logan started then stopped realizing if Victor hadn't shared his past with her it wasn't for him to do.

"So you two must be really close," she said when he didn't continue.

"Yeah . . . I guess."

"He said you saved his life."

Logan chuckled. He bet Victor hadn't mention that they'd been trying to kill each other that day and it hadn't been the first attempt either. Victor hadn't changed much, was still the same arrogant, selfish, antagonistic SOB Logan had first thought he was but after Logan saved Victors life when he could have let him die they'd come to an ambiguous understanding which had slowly turned into a hesitant friendship. Logan figured it was best to keep your enemies close but after awhile Victor, even with all his faults, had grown on him while Victor found Logan's silent companionship was something he'd gotten used to although having no other friends had been a big factor.

"Marines protect their own," Logan commented without further explanation.

"He hasn't told me much about the war."

"Not much to tell."

"Yo, when you gonna be ready?" Victor called through a loud yawn as he stretched his long arms and legs out.

"Give us a minute," Ororo replied then spoke to Logan: "Will you help me dry these?"

He took the towel she offered him and stepped closer to her and began drying the dishes as she handed them to him.

"They smell real good," he said and felt stupid for saying it but he couldn't think of anything else to say.

"They're about ready too."

She dried her hands and slipped them into oven mitts and retrieved the small pan from the little oven. They did smell good and soon Victor was standing in the doorway with an eager look on his face. Logan looked from Victor who looked the happiest he'd ever seen him and then to Ororo who looked motherly and sexy all at once as she bent over the hot brownies, her breasts in the low cut tank top dangling above them temptingly. He grinned a little when Victor slapped Ororo on the behind. She jumped and swatted his hand away but she laughed and blew him a kiss. It was obvious to see they were happy. Maybe even in love. For once Logan wished he had what Victor had.

xox

Poker had been fun and the brownies delicious – two naked men sitting around the table losing pathetically to Ororo. She'd laughed at them so much they'd almost gotten mad, or Victor had but she'd kissed him until he forgot his anger and was thinking of other things. Logan had made a discrete exit to the bathroom, clothes in hand where he quickly thrust them on. When he'd opened the door they were still kissing so he tip toed to the door. He chanced a look back and saw Ororo was watching him. She pulled away from Victor and smiled as if in thanks and he smiled back still wishing it was him and not Victor that was with her.

Jean had not understood in the least.

"You smell like you drank the bar out of business!" she exclaimed when he returned much later than he'd planned.

When he made no reply she went on – "Do you know what time it is? It's two in the morning! I have to go to work tomorrow! How am I supposed to go to get up and get ready for work every day when you keep coming in all hours of the night? Huh? Huh? Scott never did this to me! But no! I had to get back with you! And you smell like you had sex too! Did you sleep with her? Did you sleep with her?"

He hadn't even made it into the bedroom. She wouldn't let him pass moving to block him when he tried to step pass her. He wasn't in a good mood, just wanted to sleep and forget the evening.

"No, Jean I didn't sleep with anyone."

"But I bet you wanted to."

"What difference does it make if I wanted to or not as long as I didn't?"

That was the wrong thing to say and he knew it just as soon as he'd said it but the words were already out and he couldn't and wouldn't take them back.

"Why do you have to keep hanging out with that animal if you always want to sleep with his women, Logan? Is that why you're still friends with him? I mean why do you have to lust after his women all the time? Do you like trashy women is that it? Do you want me to be trashy? Is that what you want from me? Do you want me to be a slut like all his women are? Huh? Huh?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Actually he'd only wanted to sleep with one of Victor's girls and that had been Raven. The way she'd kept egging him on, telling him he couldn't keep up with her. It had been an ego thing more than lust but the lust was there too. The day he couldn't keep up with a woman was the day they'd be burying him. Unfortunately he'd made the mistake of telling Jean about Raven. He never would have said anything but Jean had asked him if he was attracted to Raven and he'd told her the truth, didn't see why he should lie about it when he wasn't going to do anything about it.

Of course Jean hadn't taken that well either. She'd exploded. She'd raged throwing pretty much the same accusations at him as she was now. That time he'd just gone to his place too tired to fight with her. Now he was glad she didn't know he'd actually slept with Raven. That had been the only time he'd ever cheated on Jean when they were a couple anyway. And since Victor had kicked Raven to the curb it wasn't like he was going behind his back. Besides that it was just the one time.

Once was all he'd needed. It hadn't meant anything to either of them. Revenge sex for her and he'd been out to prove a point and a little curious. Victor didn't want her anymore and she'd been on a destructive streak that Logan had tried to put an end to. He'd been drunk at Harry's when she came in looking for Victor. They'd left together but never made it to Vic's. He hadn't even enjoyed it that much. She'd been a little too wild for his taste, so wild he hadn't been able to sleep with Jean for a few weeks waiting for the bites all over his body to heal. He still cringed at the memory of some of the places she'd bitten him. The only good thing that came out of it was that he wore her out and she'd had no choice but to admit it. Tell him he couldn't keep up!

"What would you do if we were married?" Jean demanded. "Still go around chasing after his trashy women?"

"We ain't married, Jean and never will be," he said with finality and turned to go.

"Oh, Logan! I didn't mean anything by that. I'm sorry. You know how I don't like Victor. I don't understand why you keep him as a friend. I don't even think he knows the meaning of what a friend is, not a real friend."

When Logan said nothing she slid next to him and wrapped her arms around him.

"I' m just tired. I've got an early meeting tomorrow and . . . well it's late. Can't we just go to bed?"

He grunted not really wanting to go back to his place. It was late and he was a little tanked having gone to Harry's after he'd left Victor's.

"Oh, Logan," she sighed as she put her arms around him. "I miss you when you're out that's all. I don't mean to be jealous but I know how Victor and Cain are. You're so much better than them. I know she probably wanted you instead of Victor. I can't help being jealous. I'm sorry, really. I don't want to fight. You know how much I love you."

Another fight prevented. He was getting better and better at handling her outbursts as the years passed by. She even let him make love to her that night despite how late it was, blissfully unaware he was thinking of another woman. Not Mariko, not Raven, not Domino but Ororo.

**A/N** – Thank you all for your very thoughtful reviews. And a special thanks to my poor overworked and slightly confused beta Skyz who's been such a big help to me. I should be able to update this weekend after she goes over the next chapter. In the meantime if anyone's interested here's Ororo's recipe for the best and easiest brownies you ever made!

**Ororo's Brownies **

2 squares unsweetened chocolate

1 stick of butter (1/4 pound) or margarine though butter will give you a richer taste

2 eggs

½ teaspoon vanilla extract (no imitation extract mind you!)

1 cup sugar

1/3 cup flour

1 c chopped walnuts or pecans (your preference)

¼ teaspoon salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Melt the chocolate and butter in a medium size pan on the stove using low heat. Stir occasionally and when melted remove from heat and add sugar. Beat in eggs and vanilla extract then stir in flour, walnuts and salt.

Grease an 8 by 8 ½ pan with butter or shortening or spray oil, pour brownie mixture into pan and bake for 25-30 minutes. Cool for ten minutes and enjoy!


	5. A Night on the Town

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin **

**Chapter Five –** **A Night on the Town**

**A/N – **I want to thank all of you for letting me know what you think. I'm glad some of you enjoyed the recipe, hoped you tried it and enjoyed the brownies.

Harry's was crowded as usual but Logan sat in one of the back booths feeling like he didn't want to be there. That pale waitress, Domino, kept smiling his way when she wasn't talking to the big guy with the tiny head. Logan ignored her. He was about ready to leave. Jean would kill him if he stayed any longer. Victor looked like a no show but that was typical with the big lug. As soon as he started sleeping with a new woman he thought with is lower region instead of his brain. Logan should've expected as much. He glanced at his watch and snorted. If he had a penny for every time Victor was late or didn't show he'd be a billionaire by now.

He started to get up to pay his tab but sat back down when he saw a big hulking frame blocking the doorway. Logan chuckled to himself as Victor stood their a moment until his eyes adjusted to the darkness but the laugh died when he saw a tall brown figure striding into the bar behind Victor. For a few seconds it felt as if his heart had stopped beating and then Logan saw Victor looming over him grinning like a little kid with a new toy.

"Hey, didn't realize how late it was, Lo – we got busy. You know how it is," Victor laughed.

Logan barely looked at them; instead he downed the last swallow of beer and began to think how he could get out of there without Victor getting an attitude and over reacting thinking Logan was deserting him.

"Hello, Logan," Ororo said, her accent soft and enticing.

He couldn't resist glancing up at her but after a curt nod he quickly looked away.

"It's Ro's birthday. Thought I'd take her out, you know?" Victor said as he sat down across from Logan letting Ororo scoot in after him.

"Oh, yeah?" His eyes settled on Victor determinedly.

"She's one step closer to the grave," Victor joked.

Logan didn't think that was funny and Ororo didn't laugh either. The noise of the bar, the song from the jukebox and shouting voices droned on making the silence between the three of them too obvious. Finally Logan looked at Ororo, tried to smile and wished her a happy birthday.

"What did you say?" she shouted leaning over the table to hear him better.

"I said happy birthday," he yelled back, trying not to look at her breasts in her tight little halter top.

Victor's whole upper body was moving to the beat of a song Logan couldn't make out. He couldn't avoid seeing Victor fling a thick arm around Ororo's slender shoulders. Why hadn't Victor warned him that Ororo was coming? But Victor was always in his own little world Logan thought as he ground his teeth together.

It was a little like being under a microscope he thought as felt Ororo's eyes on him. He peered around the bar could see Ororo watching him out of the corner of his eye. She just kept staring at him. What was she hoping to see? Why should she even care about him? He wasn't the one sleeping with her. Finally he turned; his dark eyes boring into her full on thinking two could play that game but when she smiled he could barely keep his head up. Table needed cleaning, he thought as his eyes skimmed over the wood surface.

"Let's dance," she said, quite unexpectedly.

Logan looked up shocked that she'd asked him right there in front of Victor but then he saw she was tugging at Victor trying to get him up as a slow song played on the jukebox. An old Seger song. The lyrics of the song We've Got Tonight were lusty and soulful.

"I don't dance, babe," Victor said.

Some birthday, Logan thought. The big lug takes her to a dive, won't dance with her, and thinks that's what a woman wants. Logan would have laughed except she was looking at him again with those incredibly blue eyes of hers. His eyes found the table again and he saw her fingers gently tapping the table in time to the music. Was he supposed to ask her to dance? He almost started to but he knew he shouldn't go there so instead he got up.

"I'm gonna get another beer," he said though neither replied.

"Come on, wanna show you something," Victor said once Logan was gone.

Logan saw Victor leading Ororo back to the restrooms and he wondered what they were doing so instead of going to the bar he followed them from a discreet distance but Victor wouldn't have noticed anyway. He was more concerned about Ororo. His arm was crooked around her neck and he used his free arm to push anyone who got in their way aside though few did. When Logan caught up with them what he saw left him dumbfounded. Victor twirled Ororo, dipped her then laughingly attempted some type of slow dance that didn't involve movement. Ororo's delighted laughter sounded like a child's, full of life and joy.

Logan turned away. He wished he had that type of joy with Jean and he wondered bleakly if they'd ever had that kind of relationship. He only remembered being so hot for her that he hadn't been able to think straight, wanting her even though she'd been with someone else. Sometimes he wondered if that had been one of the main reasons he'd wanted her. When he'd finally gotten her his desire had lasted for a while but the reality of being with someone you cared for more than they cared for you had eventually cooled his desire substantially. His desire had never been joyous not even fun, more agonizing than anything. But he knew it wasn't Jean's fault.

He decided he should try a little harder. Poor Jean wasn't the shrill shrew he made her out to be, in fact, she was the sweetest person he'd ever known that is until he'd come into her life. He knew he wasn't the best boyfriend, didn't even like the title of 'boyfriend' and he knew he'd made her insecure at first with his too honest answers. He never could understand why a woman would ask if you liked this woman and that woman, wanting to know if you'd sleep with them and why you would if they didn't want the truth. What was the point of asking? Didn't make sense to him. Still, he determined that he would be nicer to her, treat her better, go over to her place earlier. He wished she'd learn how to make real homemade brownies like Ororo's though.

And with that thought he paid his tab then left without telling Victor. Three was a crowd and they looked like the last thing they needed was him.

"Where the hell that idiot go?" Victor mumbled when they got back to their booth and found two women sitting there instead of Logan.

"Excuse me," Ororo murmured as she leaned down to pick up her purse from the floor where it appeared to have fallen.

"This is our table," Victor snarled.

"Victor, let's just find Logan," Ororo said, snaking her arm through his.

Victor glared at the women then took a look around the bar. If Logan had been there he wouldn't have let anyone take their seat so Victor already knew he wasn't going to find the runt inside. He turned back to the women who were ignoring him and chatting to each other as if he wasn't even there. He started to tell them where they could go but Ororo was leaning against him now and he decided against it. The look on Ororo's face reminded him of a little kitten. He led her out onto the street frowning in distaste all the while. Just because she looked so cute and pleading like didn't mean he had to be a softie but there he was, no booth, no beer, no smokes, just him and her standing on the hot pavement like two idiots.

"Next time I see that idiot I'm gonna rip him a new . . ."

"Maybe he's still in there."

"You think he'd let those bimbos grab our seats like that if he was? Probably was afraid his woman was gonna kick his ass if he was late or somethin'."

"You sound as if you hate him sometimes."

"So?"

"But I thought you were best friends?"

"Never said the runt was all that."

"But isn't he one of your better friends?" Ororo asked, seriously wondering at Victor's brusque attitude.

"Yeah I guess, so what?"

Ororo decided to change the subject. "It's a beautiful night."

Victor only grunted.

"But it's going to rain," she said.

"Yeah? How can you tell?"

"Look at the leaves, how different they look."

"Huh?"

"And it feels like rain. I can smell it too."

Victor said nothing. She was usually right when predicting the weather. Sometimes he teased her that she should be one of those weather girls on TV instead of flying through the air all the time, maybe doing that naked news show he'd heard about but now that was the furthest thing on his mind. He stood there thinking what to do, where to go, how to show her a good time on her birthday.

His stomach growled loudly. He felt like he could eat a bear. He saw Ororo was watching the skies with a serene expression on her face and then he felt a cool splash of water on his forearm. He looked up and saw the sun still shining and figured it had been his imagination.

"Let's get outta here."

"Let's take a walk."

"Huh?"

"Let's go to the marina."

"Um, yeah if you wanna go sure."

"We can ride the carousel."

"Huh?"

"Come on – it's my birthday."

"You wanna ride a kiddie ride for your birthday?"

"And maybe ride the train at the mall," she teased.

"You serious?" Victor asked with an incredulous look at her.

She only laughed enjoying the look on his face. And then something wet splashed onto her arm and she looked skyward.

"What ya lookin' at?" he asked as he gazed up at the darkening sky. "Oh," he said when another drop of rain plopped onto his forehead.

Then suddenly it began to rain in earnest and he grabbed Ororo's hand and they ran to his little Toyota Spyder which he'd parked off by itself. Once at the car he stopped and quickly snatched his hand away. Ororo glanced at him but said nothing. She stood in the rain while he got into the car then leaned over and unlocked the passenger door. By time she was in she was soaked through.

"Guess we ain't goin' to the marina. How 'bout I buy you dinner?" he said.

"Dinner sounds nice."

"Jack 'n the Box here we come!"

Ororo's eyes grew wide and her jaw dropped. Jack 'n the Box wasn't exactly on her agenda for the night.

"I don't really like Jack 'n the Box," she said.

"Hotdogs maybe? Wienerschnitzel?"

"Ah . . . no thanks."

Victor laughed. "I was only kiddin', it's your birthday we're gonna celebrate. I'm taking you to Sizzler!"

". . . Oh. Um, that's nice of you."

"Yeah, I know. A steak would be real good right about now," Victor murmured.

"I'm not very hungry right now, Victor. Maybe you could take me home – would you mind?"

"Huh? You wanna go home? But I told you I was gonna show you a good time."

"You did, Victor and I had fun but I'm drenched and look at my hair – it's a mess. I just want to go home," she said, her voice more firm than usual.

"Yeah, yeah sure. I'll stop off at Jack 'n the Box on the way," he muttered, not quite sure what she meant by drenched and not really caring.

They drove in silence. Neither of them minded for they were deep in thought. Victor was appalled at his behavior – running in the rain with a girl holding hands like he was in love or something. Something he'd never done before and promised himself he'd never do again. A shiver went down his spine as he thought about his narrow escape. He didn't know what had gotten into him. . He peeked at her sideways and saw she didn't look any different and that was reassuring. The last thing he needed was her getting mushy with him wanting to hold hands and play kissey face whenever they went out.

"You cold?" he asked without thinking.

"No, I'm fine thank you."

Victor was cold but he didn't turn the heat on since she wasn't but then a dark scowl covered his face. He was acting like a pansy asking her if she was cold and not turning the heat on! What, was she immune to the cold or something? Screw that he was cold! He turned the heat on full blast.

Sizzler. Ororo couldn't stop thinking about it. Sizzler!Sizzler onher birthday? She didn't want to be angry but she couldn't keep it from building inside her. But it was more than anger she was bewildered. Her mind whirled busily. Being left to stand outside the car in the rain had irked herand then he'd thrownSizzler at her! Logan wouldn't have done that to her, she thought. He would have opened the door for her before he got in and probably given her his jacket to keep her dry.

She sat up a little straighter as she thought of this. She gazed out the window wondering what had triggered that thought. What did Logan have to do with anything? She didn't know. But she did know she was furious that Victor had treated her so carelessly. Sure it was a modern world wherea lot ofmen didn't hold doors open for women anymore but sometimes it was nice to be treated gallantly. But that wasn't Victor and she knew it.

From the corner of her eye she saw him reach for the radio and fiddle with the stations till he found a loud rock 'n roll station. She could seehis head bobing up and down to the music as he drove through the wet streets. He was handsome she thought as she snuck a peek at him. And funny. He looked like a big goof bobbing out of tune to the beat not caring at all.

It was that nonchalance that had drawn her to him in the first place. She sighed. That and the sex. Victor trulymeant well, she knew this. He'd tried to show her a good time in the only way he knew how and she was being ungrateful. Her sprouting anger gradually faded. To Victor Sizzler was as good as it got – the very best. Finally her shoulders started to shake and she began to laugh silently until she had no choice but to explode with a loud guffaw amazed at her predicament. Victor frowned wondering if she was laughing at him.

"What's so funny?"

"You and me. What are we doing together, Victor?"

"Getting' some burgers an' you're goin' home."

"No, I mean you and me, all these months."

"Huh? You mean havin' great sex?"

There it was. Blunt but truthful. Ororo shook her head amazed at this truth. She enjoyed being with Victor, could tolerate his crudeness and she didn't mind his lack of education but it was indeed the sex that she stayed around for. Now she forgot being left to wait in the rain till he got in the car first and she forgot his idea of a real celebration was going to Sizzler and she felt warm all over.

"The sex _is_ good isn't it?"

"Good enough."

She knewhe thought it was more than good enough just as she knew he was more than friends with Logan. She'd begun to understand him and with that understanding she saw why she was with him. The sex was good but with Victor what you saw was what you got. He didn't lie, he didn't play games. Maybe he didn't reveal his true feelings but as you got to know him you could see the little boy inside him and see the truth. She had a strong urge to go to his place to finish celebrating, to find the little boy inside the wild man.

"Let's go to your place," she whispered and let her hand fall into his lap.

"Oh yeah! Babe whatever you want!"

"And no Jack 'n the Box."

"We can order pizza."

"Pizza's good," she said and for a moment her mind slipped. Where had she heard that before she wondered but then she forgot her question as Victor pulled her closer to him. The sex was damn good too, she thought.


	6. The Friends Weigh In

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin **

**Chapter Six – The Friends Weigh In **

**A/N – **First let me say I'm sorry it took me so long to update but I'm on vacation and secondly thanks again to those who have faithfully reviewed. It's always much appreciated. To be honest I didn't think many people would enjoy this so thanks for hanging in there. Also, this is a shorter chapter but I'm planning on having the next chapter out by Sunday somewhat contingent upon my wonderful beta, Skyz.

"So you're telling me he didn't do anything for your birthday, is that it?"

Ororo sighed. Talking about guys over breakfast with your roommate was supposed to be fun. She didn't feel well enough to argue with her friend. Now she wished she'd never told Anna about her date with Victor. She knew it didn't exactly sound like a nice time but the point was that he had tried. She couldn't remember any of her other boyfriends doing more than wining and dining her in between their very busy lives. None of them had spent the amount of time with her as Victor had and she liked that, being with a man so much and not getting tired of him.

"Sugah, one dance in some hole in the wall an' some pizza sounds like somethin' a cheapskate would do. Ah know you like him an' all but y'all ain't doin' nothin' but – well, y'all ain't doin' nothin'!" Anna said in her soft southern drawl. She was a lovely young woman with short brown hair streaked white in front.

"Anna, he's really nice . . . once you get to know him."

"Please. If he's so nice why ain't he takin' you out some place nice?"

Ororo sighed again. "It isn't always about money. Sometimes it's just nice being with someone."

"Well y'all sure spend enough time together. If ah didn't know any better ah'd think you were movin' in with him, you ain't hardly ever here any more, girl."

Ororo looked up at the ceiling as she fell back against her chair. The best thing she could do was to ignore her friend – think of something else she decided and a soft smile snuck over her face causing Anna to groan. She'd seen that look before. Every time Ororo started falling for a guy! Anna swore under her breath as she got up from the kitchen table to get another cup of coffee.

"You ain't fallin' for this guy are you?"

The look of bliss faded from Ororo's face, her shoulders sagging slightly. Falling for Victor Creed was the last thing on her mind but there was an undeniable lightness inside when she thought about him. And heat. Her body felt light and hot all at the same time.

"Hang on! What guy are we talking about?" a pleasant British voice asked and both girls turned to greet the new arrival.

Tall and svelte with long black hair with a slightly purple tinge to it Betsy Braddock placed her carryon luggage beside the kitchen door and loosened her tie. Like Ororo and Anna she too was a flight attendant.

"Oh, hi, Betts," Anna said. She knew she'd get no back up from Betsy who was as much into free love as Ororo was lately.

"She's talking about Victor but all we're doing is having fun," Ororo countered. "What's so wrong with that?"

"Hanging out in bars never used to be what you thought was fun, sugah. Ah bet all you do is sleep with him!"

"Oh, Anna! Stop being such a prude," Betsy laughed as she poured herself a cup of coffee and joined them at the table.

"You're a bad influence," Anna told her.

"It's not me that's the bad influence, love. That would be her wild friend Yukio," Betsy said.

Anna grunted. It was true that whenever Ororo visited Yukio, another flight attendant who worked out of Tokyo she always came back acting out of character. Anna had to admit Japan seemed to make both her friends act out of character because Betsy, born and raised in Great Britain, had come back one week almost a completely different person – f firmer breasts, and a face lift, that she hadn't needed, that included a bad eye job. Now Betsy looked slightly Japanese.

"I can't help it if the sex is so good. It isn't like I'm going to get it this good with just any man and he's not as cheap as you're making him out to be," Ororo said.

Anna groaned again.

"I don't like going out that much anyway."

"Oh really. So all those fancy restaurants and museums you always wanna go to when we all go out ain't somethin' you really want to do with a man, is that it?"

"Well, not with this man. If I could spend all day and all night in bed with him I might die a happy girl."

"No man's that good."

"This man is that good."

"Bloody hell!" Betsy said. "When do we get to meet the chap?"

"Maybe never," Ororo said with a look at Anna.

"What makes him so special – tell me, come on now what's his secret?" Betsy asked.

"Trust me, he's the best I've ever had – not that there've been a lot of men just, well you know – not that many."

Anna had nothing to say. She knew Ororo had been with maybe two men, which wasn't a lot, but Anna herself was still a virgin. Maybe if she hadn't had such a terrible experience the first time she'd ever kissed a boy she would have chosen a different route but as it were Cody, her first love had suffered a seizure leaving him incapacitated the rest of his life. His parents had blamed her and so had she. The episode terrified her and left her scarred even to this day. Ororo was one of the few people who knew about it along with Anna's long time boyfriend Remy LeBeau who just happened to be Ororo's best friend.

The three of them were thick as thieves. Though Ororo and Remy had known each other while growing up when Anna had met them there was almost an instant bond. She and Ororo had met while they were training to become flight attendants eventually moving in together. Now they were more like sisters than roommates though Ororo felt Anna sometimes acted more like a warden. But they each had a begrudging respect for the other and usually agreed to disagree. This was one of those times.

"Sex is fun with the right man," Ororo went on.

"Hear, hear!" This from Betsy.

"And yes it would be great if I were married and had incredible sex with my husband every day and night but I haven't met that man yet and lets face it, I'm young, I'm still in decent shape and I want to have a good time."

"You're still on the rebound," Anna said quietly. "If Forge hadn't . . ."

"I don't want to talk about him or Victor either for that matter. There's nothing wrong with me wanting to have a good time."

"You're saying ah don't know how to have a good time?"

"I'm saying that we're different. You're going to wait till Remy asks you to marry him before you experience sex and, well, I'm not a virgin anymore, can't ever be one again and can't change it so I don't see why I can't have a little fun."

"You can change it if you want to by simply not doing it again," Anna said. "There's such a thing as a born again virgin."

"Here we go again!" Betsy sighed and she stood up. "I need a long hot shower. See you girls later."

"You've been listening to your brother again haven't you?" Ororo asked after Betsy left.

"Kurt's my foster brother and so what if ah have? There's nothing wrong with what he says. Maybe ah'm not a Catholic like he is but ah was raised a Baptist an' ah know what's right an' what's wrong."

"What difference does it make?" Ororo asked; her voice a little hard. "Just because he's studying to be a priest doesn't mean I have to be a nun."

"Ah never said that."

"Good. Well, I've got a lot to do today so I'll see you later."

"Ah thought you said you were gonna lie around all today."

"I did, didn't I?" Ororo said as she slumped back in her chair. She really didn't feel well and felt more like going back to bed but neither did she want to stay around to be lectured.

"Oh, go! Go see him! Ah don't give a darn. Just use protection an' be careful."

"I always use protection and I'm always careful. He might be a bit of a caveman but he's not dangerous."

"Just good in bed I reckon."

"Yum, yum," Ororo murmured as she got up. She rinsed her teacup and saucer out in the sink then placed them in the dishwasher and gave Anna an impulsive hug.

"You and Betsy used to think I was too uptight and now you think I'm a – what would you say? A scarlet woman, is that it?"

"Ah don't think any such thing about you, sugah, ah just don't wanna see you hurt that's all."

"I won't be. I always dump them before they dump me now. Forge taught me that," Ororo said as she rushed off anxious to get to Victor's. She was already planning dinner and what she'd wear. Maybe that black corset with the garter belt Victor liked so much.

But it wasn't to be or at least not yet. Before she made it to the staircase that led to the second and third floors of the townhouse the women shared the door opened and in stepped a tall, thin man with a wild head of brownish red hair. He removed his sunglasses then replaced them with a set of lighter shades. He gave her an admiring look during the switch. Ororo knew he suffered from photophobia, which caused him to be extremely sensitive to all light whether outside or indoors. He never went without his sunglasses whether outside or inside.

"Lookin' good, cher," he drawled in a slightly southern slightly French accent.

"Hi, Remy," she replied, ignoring the niggling desire to ask him how he put up with Anna but decided not to. There was no point in starting something just because she didn't agree with Anna's puritan outlook.

"You don' look so good," he noted.

"Thanks."

"There be somethin' goin' 'round, cher."

She stood there looking at him with a frown on her face.

"Which one is it now? Anna or Betsy?"

"Anna," she said and she couldn't help smiling, he knew her so well.

"What she do now?"

"Gave me a sermon."

"Oui, she in that mood again. Saw Kurt the other day, why you think I haven't been around for awhile, eh?"

"It isn't really Anna, Remy," she said then paused.

"Go on, cher."

"Remy, you're a man . . ."

"Most assuredly."

She took a second to roll her eyes before continuing.

"Do you think I'm crazy?"

"Depends on what you mean 'cause we both know you're crazy. What's goin' on, cher?"

"Victor. I don't know what to do about him. He's so . . . different but he's really nice and we have a good time – usually."

"Remy not sure he wanna hear this."

"But you're a man, you can at least give me an idea what he's thinking."

"You want the truth I'll tell you plain an' simple. What he's thinkin' is keepin' you around for the sex unless he finds someone better an' you."

"Well, since there's no one better than me then what?"

"Ah." Remy smiled.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Remy and help me!" she laughed, swatting at him playfully.

"So you the best most men ever gonna experience oui, but what do I know about this Victor? Sounds like an ass if you ask me," he said with a shrug.

"But don't you think he likes me?"

"I know he does. You been intimate with him for a few months now, non?"

"Oh, not you too!"

"The milk an' the cow, non?"

"The milk and the . . . ?" she stammered then sighed in exasperation when she saw what he meant.

"But I waited for months before I . . ."

He held up his hand and she pressed her lips together angrily.

"You asked me what I thought an' I told you. You wanna ask him what he thinks if you really wanna know the deal, cher."

"I can't do that. That's not how we work."

"An' there's your answer."

"You don't understand. It's not what you think. It's – we're complicated."

"You never liked complicated before."

"I shouldn't say complicated. It's really very simple what we have. We have a good time, the sex is great . . ."

"Remy don't wanna know about the sex, cher."

"We get along great, Remy. He might not treat me like a princess or . . ."

"An' why not if you are a princess an' deserve to be treated like one, eh?"

"You don't treat Anna like a princess."

"That's because she's not. I love her you know that but how long I've known her? I'm never delusional."

"What does that have to do with anything? You're no help at all."

"You already know what you wanna do, you already gonna do it, you jus' want me to condone it but I can't an' won't," he said lazily.

"I just wanted a man's opinion. That's all. That's all I wanted, Remy."

"You don't like complicated, you got all these questions, you not happy obviously – what more you got to think 'bout, cher? You women make things more complicated than they need to be most the time when what you lookin' for is starin' you right dead in the eye."

"Oh, you make me so mad sometimes, Remy LeBeau!"

"Sometimes the truth hurt but I never lie to you, Ororo. Besides, you still love me an' I know it, cher. Now tell me where my rogue princess is."

"She's in the kitchen, and thanks for nothing."

"You know I'm right," Remy said with a wave before he went to find Anna.

But Ororo didn't know that. All she knew was that she was confused and her hormones were raging like she'd taken some kind of aphrodisiac! The only cure that she knew for that was Victor.


	7. In Sickness and In Health

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin **

**Chapter Seven – In Sickness and in Health**

**A/N – **This is unbetaed (is that even a word?). Tried to get it out fast, thought it was way too long in the beginning and cut it down considerably. Starts a little slow but should get better. Hope it's okay. And thanks again for the reviews!

After packing a bag of goodies along with a change of clothes Ororo drove to Victor's and let her self in. She didn't have a key, hadn't been offered one and hadn't asked for one either but she'd had a rather unconventional upbringing and had learned to picked locks in her wayward youth. Something she and her friend Remy shared and one of those skills you never quite forget. It wasn't something she did often naturally, after all she'd long since stopped the shoplifting and petty burglary that many children attempt in youthful exuberance and become an upstanding citizen but sometimes, just sometimes when she was feeling mischievous she put those skills to good use.

Meeting Victor had eventually put her in one of those rare mischievous moods. After his months long pursuit of her she'd gotten it in her mind to see what he was all about maybe even surprise him with an impromptu visit. Call it payback if you like but she couldn't deny it was partially to satisfy her own curiosity about the man who told her he wouldn't stop asking her out until she said yes. So she'd let herself into his apartment and unabashedly explored every inch of his small studio apartment.

She'd been amused to find he was exactly what he seemed, stereotypically male in a kind of sad pathetic way. The place was dirty, messy and unattractive with magazines full of naked women strewn all over but it was the model cars that had given her pause. Some were on the table, some under the bed and a few unopened boxes in the loft, which was a complete unorganized mess. It was something a little boy might have in his room and that had touched her.

Now whether that or something else had enticed her to start picking clothes up and tidying up she didn't know but when Victor came in he was stunned to say the less. Ororo didn't know that the old Victor prior to getting discharged from the Marines wouldn't have been so understanding especially with visions of Raven still fresh in his head but he'd surprised even himself. Too aroused to care about the how's and why's of her illegal entry Victor simply did what he'd done the first time he'd ever been alone with her, took her in his arms and kissed her. There hadn't been any time for words and, well; Ororo got what she'd really gone for anyway.

After that when the urge hit she simply let herself into his place and he, loving the spontaneity of her break in's and the end results, said nothing about it and offered no key. She didn't care that it wasn't very traditional and not very romantic though sometimes, like now it irked her just a bit. She wasn't about to ask for a key and she knew Victor wasn't going to volunteer one but she didn't want to wait outside either. Still, it was an odd situation that she accepted and yet didn't.

She'd found herself feeling that way about Victor too lately. Her talk with Anna and Remy had stayed with her after she'd gone over to his place and all while she'd cooked and baked and tried on different outfits to surprise him. She was only a little excited at the prospect of spending the evening with him and unusually more than a little nervous. She felt like asking for a key – didn't she deserve one? After all she fed him (in more ways than one), cleaned up after him and satisfied his every need all without complaining. She hadn't once answered the phone when it rang when he wasn't there. It wasn't until Victor had told her to see who it was one day that she started answering the phone assuming he had nothing to hide.

The problem with her, she knew, was that she was too giving. Her personality was too motherly. She wanted to take care of everyone, make everyone happy. It wasn't something she could change either. If someone was ill she needed to tend to them, if someone was hurting she needed to get to the bottom of it and help them feel better. She had a compulsion to care for others that she couldn't break.

There was T'Challa, the prince who needed her and Forge with his broken body and wounded soul. To each of them she had given herself completely trying to soothe their wounds and help them through their troubles. And though they too had helped her it was not all giving and unconditional as she was apt to be and that was her problem. She gave of herself completely, holding nothing back. The worse of it was that she adjusted to each man shaping herself the way they preferred if it would make them happy.

She supposed when she had attempted to find herself that had been the beginning of the end with her and Forge but after so long with him taking and taking, giving little in return she had felt the need to spread her wings and find herself in some way. She felt that way now. Truthfully she could be happy with Victor despite his selfishness but she needed more from him than she felt he would ever be willing to give – just a little bit more. Perhaps not love but at least more caring. That was it. She wanted him to care about her, not her body and what she did for him but her thoughts and her heart.

It was with this feeling of discontent that she made dinner in Victor's tiny kitchen. When the front door opened she was so lost in her thoughts she was completely caught off guard. Victor hadn't seen her little car parked on the street though he'd told himself not to look for it. He was angry with himself for hoping she'd be there and angry that she wasn't so when he saw her in the kitchen, wooden spoon in hand and wearing a skimpy black outfit that he didn't like because it was a pain to get off her even though it showed off her body perfectly, he was irritated.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, bluntly.

Ororo threw the spoon down into the bowl she'd been stirring frosting in and quickly untied her little French maid apron from behind her. Without a word she went into the bathroom where her change of clothes were and started to change. In the meantime Victor was beginning to regret his outburst. She'd looked more than delicious and he could use a back rub and a good roll in the hay so he went into the bathroom where she was changing.

"Aw, I didn't mean it like that, babe. You can't keep breakin' in like you do you know what I mean? Someone's gonna call the cops on you one of these days."

He was reaching for her, pulling her clothes off even as she tried to put them on. He wasn't much into kissing but now he pulled her to him and kissed her deeply. It was just what Ororo needed. He held her tight and she felt cared for, almost loved though she would never think of it that way because she knew Victor didn't love her any more than she loved him.

Nothing with Victor was ever easy. He satisfied himself and took his time doing it, which gave her some pleasure, but it was a selfish act on his part with little more than a kiss or two for foreplay. And even though later that night she'd made sure she was thoroughly satisfied something about their relationship still bothered her. Maybe it was that he'd seemed so selfish taking care of his needs without thinking of her. True he hadn't been feeling well and neither had she but it wasn't just sex. It was standing out in the rain while he got out of it first and no matter how much she tried to not think of it in a bad light Sizzler kept coming back to her. Sizzler! She couldn't let it go though she refused to mention it.

The next morning after a mutually satisfying bout in bed she showered and packed up, hugged him goodbye and started to go without so much as a fare thee well.

"When you comin' back?" he asked.

"Oh, I don't know."

"Maybe we can get a drink tonight," he said.

"I'm working – going to Japan."

"Yeah?"

She smiled at him.

"When you getting' back?"

"In a few days."

"A few days?"

"A few days."

Victor stared at her. She wasn't usually this uncooperative. Usually all he had to do was feed her a few questions and she spilled every little detail and he didn't have to look like he cared. He didn't like the way she was acting so he didn't ask anything else.

"See you around then," he said and walked over to his beanbag where he dropped down and turned on the TV and PS2.

His nonchalant attitude was the final straw for her and she grabbed her luggage and left without a word. She was sure she wouldn't go back. Why should she when he was so callous? All she wanted from him was a little acknowledgement on his part. Was that so hard? But for Victor she knew it was. She didn't know why but it was. Well, that was too bad for him. She vowed never to go back and she certainly wasn't going to call him. They were finished.

Now it just so happened that a bug was going around, a virus or the flu, Victor hadn't gone to the doctor to find out which. He missed several days of work after Ororo left and since he only got paid if he worked no money was coming in that had put him in an even fouler mood. Since Autumn was coming it had gotten a little cooler and had begun to rain which meant less work in the construction business and since that was his line of work that meant he'd have to figure another way to pay his car note for the month because he wasn't about to give up his Spyder.

Throw in the mess with Ororo what with her acting like any other bitch when she left and then not even bothering to call him and he felt ready to burst. He wasn't going to lose his car but he didn't care if he lost his girl. She always called him to tell him when she was getting in too! He didn't know what had gotten into her. Everything had been fine the day she'd left. They'd had great twice that night and once in the morning but then she'd gotten all quiet on him like she expected something from him or wanted something. He just didn't know what and what's more he didn't want to know. Things had been fine but she had to go and ruin it acting like that.

Sometimes he would even meet her at the airport, he thought ruefully. Remembering that put him in an even worse mood. He felt like he was her trained monkey or something. Well, if she didn't want to call to hell with her. It was as simple as that. He didn't need her any more than any other woman. And he was sure of that.

Still, every evening he returned to an empty apartment and he couldn't stop feeling like something was missing. He refused to allow him to think it was Ororo and he refused to think about her anymore. She was gone, hadn't been there to take care of him while he was sick and she obviously had dumped him. That only made him madder. He should've been the one to dump her. He was always the first to end a relationship, usually when the woman got too clingy. Raven had definitely taught him that.

Dumped. That sucked. What gave her the right to dump him? He had half the mind to go find another woman and if Ororo did come back she'd see he didn't need her but he didn't. Instead he dragged Logan home with him one night when he dreaded going back to his empty apartment, said he wanted to show him a new game he'd gotten for his PS2 but when they entered they found Ororo in bed, the covers pulled up so that all they could see was the back of her head, the hair matted to her scalp.

"Looks like your lady's back," Logan said, feeling his stomach lurch at the sight of her white hair. He went into the kitchen for a beer wondering how he could make a quick exit without drawing suspicion to himself.

"Hey, babe when you'd get back?" Victor asked without looking at her.

A moan wafted from the mound of covers but Victor had already plopped down in a chair reaching for the remote to turn the TV on.

"I need to get a Lazy Boy. Yeah. Hey, Ro, remind me to get one next payday will you?" he said while he waited for his game to load.

A few minutes later when Logan came out with a couple of beers he heard another moan coming from the bed. Seeing Victor was already involved in a game Logan faltered. Didn't Vic hear her? She didn't sound so good. He felt like putting his beer back and leaving. Maybe he could take Jean out somewhere. Maybe. He dreaded that though.

Then Ororo moaned yet again. Logan wondered if she was crying or maybe sick. Either way it wasn't any of his business he decided so he walked over to Victor handed him a beer then eased the top off his own beer. He tossed the beer cap onto the table and noticed the tablecloth was different – red and white check like in those Italian restaurants. He let Victor explain the different levels to the new game and tried to not look over at the bundle that was Ororo.

It didn't work.

"I gotta go man," Logan said and he downed his beer in one quick gulp.

"Go? Hell, you just got here, bro!"

"Yeah. I – I . . . er . . . I forgot I got somethin' I gotta do for Jeannie."

"Whatever," Victor growled, turning his attention back to his game.

Instead of leaving the bottle cap on the table which was set with simple white plates and shining glasses Logan scooped the cap up and deposited it along with the bottle in the trash can. He stood in the small space for a few minutes feeling out of place in the usually cozy apartment. He didn't understand how Victor couldn't even check on his girl but it wasn't any of his business he reminded himself. He wouldn't have gone home with Victor if he'd known she was going to be there. He took a determined step then stopped. She was turning onto her back now and there was that moaning again.

She wasn't crying but that didn't make him feel any better. She had to be sick. Damn. He had no choice. His feet led him to the bed where he peered down at her. He didn't want to do it but she sounded so bad he wanted to help her. After a quick glance at Victor he picked up the covers with two fingers as if they were contaminated and pulled them down slightly so he could see her face. She looked bad, like she was suffering and it scared him. He felt an odd desire to reach out and smooth her wild hair back into place.

"Um, hey, you feeling okay?" he asked, lamely.

"'M sick," a small muffled voice whimpered.

"Damn. Vic your lady's sick."

"Huh?"

"I'm serious, she's sick. Man, Vic you need to do something."

"Seriously?"

"Get your lazy ass over here, Vic!"

Shortly Victor put his game on pause and lumbered over. He shoved Logan aside. He loomed above Ororo frowning thinking about his game and the fact that she hadn't called him once. But she did look sick and he sat down beside her. She didn't move or speak only groaned as the bed shifted under his weight.

"Babe, what's wrong, you ain't feelin' good?" he asked.

"I ache all over. Just want to sleep."

"She probably has what you had," Logan said.

"Maybe she's got SAR's," Victor said.

"That ain't funny, Vic."

"Go to hell," Ororo growled vehemently.

Victor did a double take. Logan chuckled.

"Did she just say what I think she said?" Victor asked.

"Guess she doesn't like your sense of humor."

"She don't never cuss – don't like it when I do."

"Maybe she's got some kind of brain fever," Logan suggested, thinking she had to have something wrong with her brain for putting up with Victor like she did.

"Retard, no one gets brain fever nowadays – this is the twentieth century."

"Twenty first," Logan corrected him.

"Huh?"

Another quiet moan drew their attention back to the ill woman before them. They stood there looking down at Ororo feeling helpless. Her eyes were closed tight and her face was contorted painfully. She looked pretty sick.

"Babe, you want me to do somethin' for you?" Victor asked.

"Leave me alone," she groaned.

"Really?" Victor's tone was hopeful.

"Man, take care of your woman!" Logan snapped.

"How? I don't know what to do for her."

"Maybe let her sleep. Sleep should help her," Logan guessed.

"Yeah. Yeah. Sounds good. You get some sleep, Ro."

The men moved away quickly.

"Vic, you still got some of that stuff you had last week – that flu medicine?" Logan asked after Victor went back to his game.

"Nah, used it all up – didn't work good either."

"Maybe you should get some medicine for her at the drugstore," Logan said but he quickly changed his mind deciding he didn't want to be alone with her especially with her being sick.

"Tell you what I'll get it."

"You gonna leave me? I mean what am I gonna do if she – if something goes wrong? I don't know nothin' about sick people."

"Just let her sleep."

"Yeah? Yeah. Right. Sure."

Left alone with a sick woman made Victor feel like a stranger in his own apartment. He felt like getting up and going out, didn't matter where just as long as he was away from Ro. He didn't like being around sick people especially women who were whiny and needy but Ororo looked so bad he felt a little guilty wanting to get away from her. Before he knew it he was doing whatever he could to help her feel better. He tried to fluff up her pillow only her head fell to the side onto the mattress and she groaned even louder than before. He backed away looking around the apartment trying to think what he could do for her. Then all of a sudden he remembered the Navy corpsman back in the war and he hurried to get a wet cloth for her head and a glass of water.

"Here, baby, drink this," he said as he reached under her and lifted her head gently.

She took a small sip then looked at him. There was pain in her look and Victor felt it as if it were his own pain. A slow smile worked over her face after he sat the glass on the floor and put a damp cloth on her forehead.

"Logan went to the store for some medicine. Maybe you got the flu like I had when you was gone an' all you need's some rest and juice. You want some tea or something?"

She shook her head and closed her eyes. He thought she was sleeping and he took one of her hands in his feeling a little lost and confused. She didn't look as bad with her eyes closed laying there all quiet like. Her eyes opened again and she smiled.

"You can call work for me."

"Yeah. Sure. No problem."

"Thank you, Victor." she said though her words were barely audible.

"I'm here for you if you need anything," he mumbled, feeling a little silly despite his sincerity.

When Logan came back with a plastic shopping bag full of cold and flu medicines and aspirin and orange juice he almost laughed at the sight of Victor sitting beside Ororo like a mother would with her sick child. Instead he spilled all the medications and juice out onto the spool of a table, now covered with a festive red and white check cloth as if maybe she'd meant to surprise Victor with a nice dinner or something.

"Ssh," Victor hissed when the items went clattering across the table. He eased off the bed and went to inspect Logan's purchases.

"She say what's wrong with her?" Logan asked.

"Nope, but she drank a little water. She's a little hot, maybe got a fever or somethin'. Wants me to call off for her."

"Did you call 'em?"

Victor ignored him while he searched for the phone. Once he found it in the bathroom he quickly called the airport. Logan couldn't avoid hearing Victor laugh and the flirtatious remark before Vic got off the phone.

"Yeah, maybe we can go out some time, but yeah, Shirley she's probably got the flu or somethin' so let 'em know will you? That's my girl. Yeah? You know it babe. Look I'll talk to you later. Yeah. See you beautiful."

Logan was sickened by Victor's attitude. His woman was right there, probably heard him flirting with one of her co-workers! Almost as if they'd had the same thought they turned nearly as one to look at her. While she slept; her head still on the mattress – Victor hadn't had the heart to lift her head back onto the pillow – and with her eyes closed and now relaxed, she looked peaceful even with the cloth on her forehead and the disheveled hair.

"I – I gotta get home," Logan stammered, meaning to Jean. A sudden loneliness had unexpectedly come over him and he thought seeing Jean might lift his spirits. He felt like he needed to be there for his girl, like Vic was there for his and he felt a strong urge to treat Jean better and especially respect her wishes more so.

"Yeah, thanks, bro."

Logan let himself out and Victor went back to sit beside Ororo. Now that Logan had come and gone without remark Victor felt more comfortable being there with Ororo and taking care of her. He didn't like admitting it but when he'd seen Ororo on the bed he'd immediately wanted her but not only that he'd been glad she'd come back. It was something he hadn't expected but that too had annoyed him. Then when he saw she really was sick he'd felt bad. He'd never even remotely cared when Raven had a cold or threw up but Ororo wasn't anything like Raven and with Ororo even though he hated the truth he cared very much.

While he struggled with these uneasy thoughts he smoothed her hair down a little and ran a finger tenderly over her smooth cheeks then got up to wet the cloth again. All through the night he sat beside her urging her to drink something and determining what medicine she needed. The next morning she woke feeling much better and insisted Victor not miss work to take care of her but he stayed home anyway. They played a few hands of poker but she was still sleepy and most of the time he just watched her sleep.

When she woke up that next morning he carried her to the tiny bathroom and started a shower for her. He didn't get in with her like he usually did just waited for her glad she was better. He didn't even mind that she didn't look half as delicious as she usually did with her hair in a tangled mess all over her head and sleep encrusted eyes. Something had changed in him and he knew it but he didn't mind as much as he thought he should. Logan couldn't see it and no one would have believed it but Victor was beginning to care a great deal for the white haired patient in his bed.


	8. Emotions Run Rampant

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin **

**Chapter Eight – Emotions Run Rampant**

"Remember when I was sick and Forge took care of me all those months? Well Victor did the same thing for me last week! It was so sweet. You wouldn't believe how sweet he can be. I really want you to meet him, Yukio," Ororo said into her cell phone. She was lounging on Victor's bed waiting for him to come home when Yukio had called her.

At the sound of the door opening she jumped up from Victor's bed, a smile of anticipation covering her face.

"Ooo, he's here! Call me when you get in town. Take care, Yukio," she said then tossed the phone aside and ran to greet Victor.

"Hey, baby!" Victor laughed, catching her as she leapt into his arms and hugged her tight. "You miss me?"

"Always."

He sat her down and stepped back to admire her voluptuous body perfectly naked just like he liked to see her when he came home. He'd always joked about keeping a woman naked and barefoot instead of pregnant and barefoot and the reality had proven to be much better than the fantasy. He liked all the little outfits she put on for him but best of all were times just like this. He quickly pulled his clothes off and tossed them onto the floor. In less than a minute he was carrying Ororo over to the bed.

An hour later while Victor was smoking a cigar the phone rang and Ororo reached down lazily to retrieve it from the floor where it had fallen when they'd knocked the mattress off the bedspring.

"Logan?"

There was no answer after his gruff request to speak to Victor but Ororo had recognized his voice.

"Logan, is that you?" Ororo asked again.

"Can you tell him I've been waiting for over an hour for his lazy . . . Aw, never mind . . ."

"Oh, Logan I'm so sorry! I didn't realize he was supposed to be meeting you," she said while giving Victor an accusing look. She covered the phone and hissed, "Victor, you should have told me you were going out with Logan!"

"What? Oh, that the runt? Sheesh, you make it sound like we was goin' on a date or somethin'. Tell him to quit the whinin'."

"Victor!" Ororo cried, covering the phone again. But it was pointless, Victor only laughed. "Logan, I'm sorry, here he is," she said then handed the phone over.

"Yo, Lo, what's up?"

Ororo frowned but Victor merely shrugged his shoulders before cutting off Logan.

"Okay, dude I forgot so sue me! You know how it is when you get busy with your woman."

"You know what you are Victor? You're a pussy whipped idiot," Logan growled into the phone. "Victor Creed, said he'd never let a woman get to him and look at you passing up on going to the club to watch the ladies strip so you can stay home and play nurse to your girl,"

"She's still not all better," Victor mumbled as his back to Ororo.

"Yeah, I know, you told me a thousand times already. She's all you talk about any more. You gonna leave all those girls at the club to me, huh?"

"Don't make me laugh, bro! You can barely keep the girl you got in check," Victor retorted.

Logan laughed and Ororo could hear the deep good natured laughter from where she now sat on the bed.

"Ain't we a pair? You don't wanna go any more 'n me. Only difference is you hit the jackpot and me, I know Red would kick my ass if she ever found out I went."

"So it worked out, quit complainin'."

"Except I've been drinking by myself for an hour, man an' I'm still at Harry's waitin' for your ass. She gonna cut you lose for a drink tonight or not?"

"I'm not finished yet," Victor said with a sly look at Ororo. "Maybe later."

"You're so flamin' whipped it ain't even funny man."

"Why don't you go home and get you some for a change? Make her give it up – maybe take her some flowers or something to soften her up."

"Flowers, huh? That how you get – never mind, I don't even want to know."

The idea of flowers stayed in Victor's mind and the next day he had Logan go with him to a nearby florist where he bought a bunch of colorful daisies wrapped in cellophane. He urged Logan to buy some for Jean but Logan passed on the idea. He could see her accusing him of bringing flowers because he'd done something he shouldn't have like going to the strip club Vic always tried dragging him to. Victor was secretly glad he didn't have a shrew like Jean waiting for him at home.

That night when Victor pulled up to his apartment building and didn't see Ororo's car he felt an uncomfortable sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He looked at the cellophane wrapped flowers with a scowl on his face. His first thought was to throw them out the window but he didn't give into the impulse. With a sigh he opened the door then reached over to the passenger's side and grabbed the flowers. Maybe he'd put them in water for her, he thought resignedly. But as he shut the door he heard a car pull up behind him. It was Ororo.

Something like a heavy weight felt as if it had been lifted from Victor's heart at the sight of her. He was grinning from ear to ear when she got out. It was hard to tell which of the two was more delighted when Victor thrust the flowers at her. He because she had come and she because it was so unlike Victor to do something so considerate.

"I wonder how many ways I can thank you," she purred in his ear as they went up the steps and if she hadn't known better she would have sworn Victor was purring just like a cat.

The next day Victor was grinning more than usual, boasting about his sexual expertise as if no one else could have sex three times in a twelve hour span. But maybe the guys at work couldn't Logan thought. He only caught snatches of the lewd talk but it was enough. He wondered how Vic could talk that way about someone who seemed so special because he never would've talked about Mariko like that with anyone, not even Vic.

It didn't matter that they'd known each other for over fifteen years; Victor never ceased to get on Logan's nerves with his latest crude behavior. Sometimes Logan asked himself why he put up with Victor but the upshot of it was Victor had his back. He might be loud, crude, stupid and a plain idiot but he was loyal and honest, qualities Logan didn't find in many people. It's why day after day, same as that night they ended up at Harry's or Xavier's strip club.

"Wonder what she's doin' now," Victor said. He was moving around the billiard table looking for a decent shot. "She only had to fly to Vegas. She ain't been workin' so much since she's been sick."

This was the third time Victor had mentioned Ororo when all they were supposed to be doing was enjoying a game of pool and some beer. Over the past few days when they got together it was more like a pep rally for Ororo instead of just chilling and forgetting work and women and all the other things that gave them grief.

"You getting' serious?" Logan asked as he applied chalk to the end of his cue stick.

"Huh? Aw, nah man," Victor stammered and missed his shot.

Logan glanced at Victor but said nothing. He continued twisting the cube of chalk onto the stick.

"What?" Victor asked impatiently.

"Nothin' man."

"You gonna stare at me all night or play?"

One bushy eyebrow arched sardonically at the comment but other than that Logan made gave no acknowledgement that he'd heard Victor. After a moment he placed the chalk on the edge of the pool table railing.

"Um, ah, Lo, bro, um, I've been wonderin' how long you an' Jeanie been together?" Vic asked, his words faltering at first then ending in a rush.

The eyebrow arched again this time accompanied with a smirk and he said, "I'm told it's been seven . . . real long years."

They were quiet then each adrift in a flood of thoughts about their respective partners. A twangy country song was playing on the jukebox that neither paid any attention to but there were few customers as the bar was getting ready to close.

"I ain't never been, well you know, like you an' Mariko were," Victor said.

The mention of Mariko raised Logan's hackles but Victor didn't see the angry look that flushed over his friends face.

"You know I think maybe I could – I mean, maybe me an' Ro, you know – maybe, you know, it's kinda like what you had."

Logan's face grew darker. Victor knew he didn't like talking about Mariko and he was annoyed that he had. Even though Victor usually didn't give a damn about anything mentioning Mariko wasn't like him which further irritated him. For Logan Mariko was still almost a raw wound that time had barely healed. It didn't matter that it had been fourteen years ago.

"Yeah, I know it sounds kinda crazy you know me an' all but Ro's different. She's real different an all."

"You hit the jackpot with that one," Logan admitted reluctantly.

"Yeah, I did, huh?"

There was another bout of silence before Logan spoke again.

"So you tell her everything?"

"Huh?"

"You know, 'bout what went down."

"You mean the Big Top," Victor said flatly.

They were both silent for another moment.

"You think I should?" Victor finally asked.

"If you're serious yeah. She should hear it from you."

Victor was thought this over. After a little while he laid his pool stick on the pool table and walked through the bar and out the door. Logan watched him go. In a way Logan was glad Victor was troubled. It served him right for bringing up Mariko. Logan had only been twenty-two when he'd met her. She was his first love. It wasn't easy to forget that or her or how she died. To Logan it felt like Victor was rubbing salt on his wound intentionally so he didn't mind at all if Victor was bothered about telling Ororo the truth about himself.

When it came down to it Victor didn't deserve a woman like Ororo. It occurred to Logan that maybe he should even warn Ororo but then he shook his head and decided against it. Let Victor open his mouth and she'd be gone in a flash that is if Vic could ever admit anything that made him look less than a man to a woman like Ororo.

He turned his attention back to the game and ignored the unexpected pang of guilt he suddenly felt. It was easier to play pool and forget himself and Vic and everyone else in the world so he leaned over the pool table, rested his cue stick on his left hand, studied the pattern of the balls and took a quick shot. Balls went in every direction but in the pockets and he swore and threw his cue down. He needed a beer.

All during the rest of that week Victor was unusually quiet. Logan pretended not to notice or care. It wasn't any of his business what Victor did or didn't do or said and didn't say to his girl and he was still getting a small amount of satisfaction at Victor's dilemma. He knew it was why he'd mentioned it. He'd never thought about it before but then he knew Raven or any of those other women Victor used wouldn't have cared any more than the people who paraded themselves on shows like Jerry Springer. The guild he sometimes felt he continued to ignore.

But Victor couldn't ignore the problem. He liked Ororo, maybe even liked her more than that. He didn't want to admit it but it was always on the edge of his mind like a dull headache and it wouldn't go away. Maybe he loved her, maybe he didn't he was always quick to counter but whatever he felt for her was more than he'd ever felt for any other woman and he knew Logan was right. If he wanted something with her he had to be up front. He just didn't know if he could.

Another week passed and Ororo continued to take a few extra days off to hang out with Victor who, regardless of money, left work early to be with her. Logan let him go without a word of complaint. He imagined they were spending every minute in bed but in reality at Ororo's suggestion they'd gone to the Hearst mansion or Castle as it was called though Victor was bored to death. They visited Grauman's Chinese Theatre where he watched as she matched her hands and feet up with some of her favorite stars and where he was forced to match his own appendages with Arnolds.

The third day they went to Venice beach where Victor took his turn at the weights and showed the young beefy guys just how it was really done without breaking a sweat. He kept telling them to add more weights till the bar looked like it was going to break and laughed when they were amazed at how strong he was. While Victor impressed the guys and the admiring women who had stopped to watch or were there with their boyfriends Ororo took her roller blades for a spin on the boardwalk. When she got back they opted to head back to Long Beach where the beaches weren't quite so crowded.

They left behind a throng of men who couldn't help staring with their mouths open. Victor had thought they were staring at him because he knew his body was in perfect shape, twenty inch arms and a forty-five inch chest and he escorted Ororo back to the car without realizing it was Ororo they were gawking at. She was had a light film of sweat over her well toned body and though she wore cut offs shealso had on a small bikini top that complimented her figure. As she toweled her damp body off while waiting for Victor to open the door someone gave an appreciative whistle but he was already in the car and didn't hear it.

Once at Long Beach and they got out of the car and started out to the beach he saw the guys were still staring and he realized it wasn't him that had their attention and with that realization he froze in place, too taken aback to move. For the very first time in his life he was filled with jealousy and it had him hopping mad and a little bit shocked.

"What the hell's wrong with you?" he bellowed at one man. "Who you lookin' at punk?" he yelled at another and: "Put your eyes back in your head . . . !" bellowed to a group of guys who were admiring Ororo who had slipped out of her cut offs and was eager to get into the water.

"Victor! What're you doing?" Ororo cried.

"Punk idiots need to keep their eyes in their head if they want to live out the rest of their lives," he muttered, still eying the men who had all turned away at his obnoxious shouts.

"Please don't start anything," Ororo said but Victor was already stomping over the hot sand after two men passing by wondering what the fuss was all about. He didn't notice they were holding hands and weren't interested in Ororo.

"Victor!" Ororo screeched as she gave pursuit. "If you don't get back here I'm taking it all off!"

"What did you just say?" Victor turned back to Ororo not with the smile of anticipation one would have expected but with a look full of anger.

"Get over here, woman!" he cried as he raced back towards her. "Where's that long thing you were showing me before we left?"

"What? You mean my sarong? You told me I better not wear it," she said and tried not to laugh.

"Nothin' about this is funny, Ro! Here!" He pulled off his t-shirt and tried to put it over her head but Ororo balked and twisted away.

"Victor!"

"Put it on and shut up."

The t-shirt blocked her view as it covered her head completely so she thrust her arms through the arm holes. After she was newly attired she glared at him. Someone whistled and he turned ready to confront the man who dared to admire his woman right in front of him.

"I think you need this more than I do," Ororo said when they saw it wasn't a man but a group of women were ogling Victor's massive upper body and one of them showed her appreciation with another whistle.

"Who the hell cares what they think?" Victor snapped turning back to Ororo. He surveyed her outfit and shook his head approvingly. "That's what I'm talking about!"

The remark made Ororo laugh and she decide, as usual, to forget his bizarre behavior for the moment. Ororo didn't realize Victor had done something he would never have imagined doing in a million years, covering up his woman at the beach, but it was another turning point for him. It was almost endearing when she gave it further thought. They found a place for their towels that wasn't littered or too close to many people yet still fairly close to the marina and sat down. Victor put his arm around Ororo and pulled her close.

"This is so beautiful. Thank you for coming with me," Ororo whispered later as they watched the sun setting over the ocean. The air was much cooler now that fall was fast approaching and she was actually grateful for the oversized t-shirt.

"Yeah. Sure."

A little kid ran by with his dog and someone tossed a Frisbee which landed near them. Victor ignored their request for a little help and one of the young men, a college student Victor figured, ran up and snatched it out of the sand intentionally kicking sand in Victor's and Ororo's direction.

"Asshole," Victor muttered but he didn't get up he just held Ororo tighter. "You know when the sun sets it's like everything bad that happened to you all day's done and you just start feeling better kinda like you can start dreamin' of a day that's gonna be better and all new wiped clean of all your mistakes, you know what I mean?"

She nodded and kissed him on the nose. "That's beautiful. You're a remarkable man, Victor Creed."

"Yeah? Well so are you – I mean you're a remarkable woman not a dude, you know what I mean."

She laughed and snuggled closer to him. They sat until the sun sunk into the horizon and then he took her down the beach to an isolated spot and made love to her. Afterwards they laid together in each others arms listening to the sound of the ocean. A young boy and a girl, teenagers, walked by, saw them and kept on. They were laying flat on their backs but he pushed off the sand and leaned back on his elbows to watch them amble down the beach.

"Lookin' for a hidin' place just like you an' me," Victor laughed.

She smiled at him and sighed contentedly. The night had grown cool but she felt warm and happy. Now Victor sat up to see her better.

"You're beautiful," he said.

"You're handsome yourself," she laughed.

"No, I mean it. You're more 'n beautiful, Ro. I mean you're beautiful all over like inside an' outside – good people, you know what I mean? You're not like all them other women all worried about what kind of car a man's drivin' an' how much he makes, wantin' to go to fancy restaurants an' stuff like that there. You're okay."

She laughed now and Victor grinned at the sound of her light happy laughter but when the sound faded and only the rush of the waves could be heard his brow furrowed. He stared intently at her face, calm and serene.

"I gotta tell you somethin' Ro."

In the ensuing silence Ororo waited to hear what he had to say.

"I ain't what you think I am," he mumbled. "I ain't like Logan, not like anyone you probably ever been with either."

Her breath had caught in her chest at his words and she waited nervously for his confession as thoughts of an affair or a sex change flashed through her mind.

"I was in prison," he said, his voice flat, almost dead. He couldn't look at her but he knew he had to tell her everything he just hoped she'd take it well.

**A/N** – Expect next chapter around Saturday or Sunday and thank you all for reviewing! Your reviews have all made me smile, some of them have made me laugh and they've all encouraged me!


	9. The Look of Love

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin **

**Chapter Nine – The Look of Love **

The sky was almost dark and the night was growing chilly but neither Ororo nor Victor noticed. Ororo was listening to Victor's confession feeling a mixture of confusion and some apprehension.

"I did time in Leavenworth back when I was in the Marines for aggravated assault they call it. Spent eight years in the Big Top. They gave me a dishonorable discharge after that but I did my time an' the dude I beat up's alright," Victor said, still not able to look at her.

He heard her sigh but couldn't determine if it was a sigh of relief or of exasperation. The moonlight shone down on her face and had he not been afraid to face her he would have seen her hesitation. His hand shoveled at the sand nervously as he waited. He had never told anyone this, had never expected to. Only Logan knew and Logan didn't care any more than Victor did but for some reason Victor needed Ororo to know and to understand and accept it.

Ororo felt a combination of emotions and she glanced at Victor not sure what to say. He looked so worried, almost lost, that she felt sorry for him. She'd never seen him look unconfident or troubled by anything but now he looked like a little lost boy, scared and alone. Her immediate reaction was to reassure him that she understood but she didn't understand and how could she when she'd never known anyone who had been in prison? When she sighed it was at the memory of how Victor had laughed about trying to kill Logan who was now his best friend. Sometimes, she thought, Victor was too complicated. She didn't like or want complicated and yet he was so simple too like now. All he wanted was to know if she could accept him after having confessed his past.

Could she? Yes. And why not? He hadn't killed anyone or at least he hadn't outside of the military and it wasn't murder that he had spent time for. Surely if he had he couldn't believe she was so stupid that she wouldn't find out, not with the information that was at the tip of anyone's fingertips on the Internet. No, she believed him. She was sure Logan would back Victor up as well; she only had to ask him. Her nose wrinkled slightly as she thought about going to Logan to verify Victor's story and she decided against that.

"Victor . . ."

When he didn't answer or even look at her she rested a hand over his stilling the nervous movements he was making in the sand.

"You remember when I broke into your apartment the first time?" she said and then he looked at her his face open and questioning.

She laughed at the memory. "You, we I guess I should say, got a little busy as you like to call it . . ." She laughed again and squeezed his hand as she thought of all the times she'd let herself in.

No one ever called the police; no one said anything to her except a few children whom she sometimes chatted to while she fiddled with the lock. Now she was friends with most of the children there in the apartment complex. She had come to learn that most of the residents didn't think too kindly about Victor and some of them hoped she'd make off with all he had like the crazy girlfriend he'd had a few years ago. A few of them watched her covertly through their blinds and tried to figure her out but most of them simply didn't care what she did.

"Well, at least you didn't kill anyone," she said. When he gave no reply she continued: "Victor, you did your time – it's over. I can't hold that against you."

"Huh? You don't? How come?" Victor asked, mouth agape, and eyes wide with astonishment.

"Why should I if you don't hold my past against me?"

"You done time?" he asked now, confused.

She laughed again and it was a while before she could stop. "Victor, you're so funny sometimes," she said but at the sight of his crestfallen face she immediately wished she hadn't said anything.

"So what're you sayin'?" he asked angrily, yanking his hand from hers.

"I'm guess that it doesn't change the way I feel about you anymore than, I hope, it didn't change the way you felt about me when you found out I used to be a thief when I was younger."

"You mean that, Ro?"

"Of course. You know you didn't have to tell me . . ."

"Yeah, I did." He looked at her now, his face harder than she'd ever seen it. "I don't wanna keep nothin' like that from you, you deserve to know," he said though he would never tell her Logan had been the one that had made him see that.

"I appreciate that, Victor. I guess we're a pair of reformed criminals, huh?" she laughed and snuggled closer to him.

With her warm body next to his Victor began to feel better. He held her close and began to relax. They watched a few children splashing at the edge of the water running from their parents who were trying to pack up and go and when Ororo laughed at their antics he sighed peacefully. For the first time in a very long time he felt as if everything was right in his world. The night air was cool and refreshing and the thought of going back to his apartment which was a home now because of this beautiful woman who liked him for who he was, was like the cherry on top of the icing on the cake.

It wasn't as much of a big deal as it would have been to Ororo that Victor had gone to prison. It was a bit of a surprise but she knew he wasn't a genteel man. She'd had glimpses of his temper and as an observant person, as most flight attendants must be, she had guessed that his jokes about trying to kill Logan were not jokes but attempts at making the truth seem frivolous. The thing was if Logan was still friends with Victor she just didn't think it was a problem. He'd gone to jail – Leavenworth but that was the past.

She didn't care about that and she didn't want the details. It was obvious to her that he wasn't truly violent, more talk than anything and all that mattered to her at this point was how Victor was starting to make her feel cared for, something she needed more than she had ever admitted to herself. She only wished her friend Anna could see that and accept her relationship with Victor.

They had gone shopping. Ororo wanted some new sheets for Victor's place. She had already purchased several sets, all white, so he wouldn't be disturbed by any radical changes but they all had something different about them. One set had a small embroidered edging, another had satin trim and another had stripes though they were in cream, something Victor would never notice and so small that if he did he wouldn't mind. It was funny but she was beginning to feel right at home at Victor's small place. A key would have been nice but thinking about that darkened her mood something Anna noticed shortly.

"So he's a convicted murderer," Anna said with a disapproving look. "You better not tell Remy that."

"He's not a convicted murderer; it was assault – aggravated assault . . ."

"Meanin' he probably tried killin' someone like he tried killin' his buddy don't ya think, sugah?"

Ororo only laughed.

"Time was you'd be haulin' ass tryin' to get away from ol' boy," Anna grumbled.

"He did his time. He's changed. He's never been violent. He's good to me, you wouldn't believe it even if I told you and besides that he's so good in bed I never want to get out of it when I'm with him."

"He's really that good in bed, huh?"

"_Muy, muy!_"

"And all of a sudden he's treatin' you good now, huh? Takin' care of you like a sick baby makes him wonderful but you're forgettin' Forge did that an he wasn't anymore special than a speck of dirt on the ground."

Ororo laughed. She didn't know how to convince her friend that though the sex had a tight hold on her Victor had become more than sex to her now.

"Well now ah know something's wrong with you, you didn't even give me the look when ah mentioned Forge," Anna said with a frown. "The things you tell me he says sometimes ah don't know, Ororo. Sounds like a nut like a real Neanderthal. Didn't you say he's always calling his best friend retarded and stuff an' what about how he was talkin' about tryin' to kill his own best friend? Sound's messed up to me."

"He's got a macho complex but underneath his arrogance he's got a heart of gold. He's been treating me like I'm special, he even told me that."

"Well, ah know that's important but he doesn't even read. You used to think a guy oughta like readin', have some intelligence, an' what about his tacky taste, takin' you to Jack in the Box for your birthday? That ain't right."

"It's not like he doesn't know how to read and eats with his toes, Anna!"

"Ah can see him now," Anna laughed, scratching alternately under each arm in a silly imitating of a monkey.

"That's not funny. You don't see me making fun of Remy."

"That's because y'all're like family."

"I could make fun of him if I wanted to. His English is horrible and his French not much better."

"He's a Cajun, Ororo an' you know that," Anna said, defending her long time boyfriend.

"Doesn't mean he has to be illiterate," Ororo teased.

"He ain't illiterate," Anna fumed. "At least he an' ah have somethin' in common. Tell me what you an' Victor have in common? You always said not to trust a guy who doesn't read."

"That's because I didn't want you to date Remy, Anna. I thought he'd break your heart."

"He hasn't and he does so read."

"Not yet and he reads the funny papers, Anna."

As a few shoppers looked in their directions Ororo stepped into a store and began to browse through the selection of short skirts on the racks. Anna looked around the quirky store with distaste wondering where she could get some gloves, the kind with the fingers cut out.

"Let's go look for dresses," she suggested.

"You in a dress?" Ororo balked.

"Ororo, ah think he's gonna ask me to marry him soon. Ah got this feelin'," Anna said as a blush crept over her cheeks.

"Well, if he does try to act surprised," Ororo said nonchalantly and she continued looking through the skirts.

"Duh! Of course ah'll act surprised. Um, he hasn't said anything to you has he?"

"No, not yet," Ororo replied absently.

"You don't think he's gonna ask me is that it?"

"I think he'll ask when he's ready," Ororo said without looking up. The truth was Remy hadn't said anything to her and she knew he would if he was thinking about it. She didn't think Remy was the marrying type and she'd tried to tell Anna that in the beginning but the girl refused to listen so Ororo had given up trying to convince her.

"Maybe he wants to surprise me and that's why he hasn't said anything to you about it."

"Perhaps."

"You wouldn't marry Neanderthal Man would you? You can't be that serious about him – are you?"

"Victor's not the marrying kind and neither am I."

"You keep saying that but one day you're gonna want children and a man who's gonna commit."

"Someday, who knows? But not this day and not tomorrow. Possibly a few years from now but right now I just want to have fun and be with someone who loves – well who appreciates me."

"Whatever. Ah think his friend sounds a whole lot better than Victor the nut and that Logan character sounds pretty strange to me from what you've told me, sugah!"

"A little strange perhaps but from what I've seen of him he's a gentleman. I think he has a good heart. They're both big little boys, only . . . well, I don't think he likes me much – Logan I mean."

"What? How could he not like you? You're pretty, smart and pretty much every man's wet dream."

"Anna!"

"What? It's the truth. Both of us have that effect on men," Anna laughed. "Ah just don't sleep around like you do."

"Right," Ororo said with a roll of her eyes. There was a reason Anna didn't sleep around and it was something they very seldom discussed so Ororo let the subject go.

"Logan's not a redneck or something is he?"

"A redneck? Why would you ask something like that?"

"Like Neanderthal man."

"Victor is not a redneck!"

"Beer guzzling, truck driving – probably has a confederate flag hidden in his closet somewhere. Ah grew up with those kind of men. ah know their type, ain't much different than how you described him."

"I told you he drives an old Jeep and he has that sporty Spyder."

"Jeep's the same thing. It's just like a SUV an' didn't you tell me SUV's were bad for the environment, sugah?"

"You just don't want to like him."

"You're right. You're acting like you're a completely different person now that you're with him all the time. Ah'm surprised you even had time to go shopping with me today."

"I see you almost everyday I'm home and for your information Victor isn't prejudice, he's just one of those really, really, really macho men – the kind I love. I need a take charge kind of guy, anything less can't handle me."

"Barefoot and pregnant kind of guy, huh?"

"He's not like that at all. He's a little crude and crass and perhaps he doesn't have a college degree but sometimes he can be so sweet like dancing with me when no one's looking because he doesn't know how or like yesterday when we went to the beach. Most guys don't notice the sun setting but he did and he made me see it in an entirely different light.

"I didn't tell you what he said and I can't remember it word for word but it was beautiful, something about it when the sun's setting it's like a sign that the day's over and it's like a new beginning. How did he put it? Dreaming of a day, a better tomorrow and I know I didn't say it half as well as he did. Anna, he's just full of surprises!"

"There you go with that look again."

"What?"

"Like you're falling in love."

"I'm not falling in love with Victor; I'm more in lust with him than anything. That man is just so powerful. All his strength goes into every move – it's like being with a man created for nothing but sex, like he's this sex god – powerful and unbelievable! Sometimes after we're finished I don't think I can take any more but when he's ready again I want it as bad as he does. I'll be so sore the next day and not even care, he is that good. Sex with him is so good. I can't say it enough. It's addictive I think."

"Um, ah think you've said enough, more than ah need to know, girl!"

"Oops. Sorry but he's amazing!"

"Um, yeah, right, ah get it already! Talk about something else, okay?"

Ororo laughed but she quickly switched the subject for her friend.

"So how're you and Remy?" Ororo asked despite having no desire to discuss Remy.

"You're really happy aren't you?" Anna asked.

"Yes, yes I am. He makes me happy."

"Alright ah'll lay off of the retard then."

"Anna!"

They both laughed.

"Come on, I've got to hurry, I'm meeting Victor in an hour."

"When do ah get to meet him?"

"When your behavior improves."

"Then you might not wanna tell me all the bad things about him. It takes more than hearin' the big galoot's a sex god to make me think any better of him especially if you want me to believe he's right for you."

"It shouldn't if I'm happy and I am," she replied and the familiar dreamy look Anna hated to see washed over Ororo's face again. She looked as if she were lost in another world.

"Wake up an' come on let's look at some dresses."

Ororo went a little unwillingly checking her watch repeatedly as Anna sighed over wedding dresses. On the way out of the mall she stopped off at her favorite organic super market where she often shopped. She bought six bottles of Grolsch, a hard ale that she had no taste for; in fact she hated Grolsch, thought it had an awful after taste but knew Victor drank it occasionally. Perhaps they didn't have any thing in common but she truly enjoyed taking care of him and catering to his needs. She really was happy.

On the way back to their townhouse Ororo suddenly had an urge to see Victor. And why not when Anna wanted to meet him? They weren't far from where he lived but she knew he had gotten off work a little while ago and he was probably at a bar somewhere, most likely Harry's which was only a street or two over.

"You wanted to meet Victor," she said to Anna without looking away from the road as she wound down Pacific Highway.

"I guess."

The car, a small Honda Civic Hybrid, suddenly swerved right and she headed down a side street at a good clip. Anna yelped grabbing hold of a door handle.

"What the . . . ?"

"He's probably at Harry's right now – he just got off work – it's only a few blocks from here."

"You must be really horny or really in love."

"Maybe a little of both," Ororo laughed in reply. She drove through the congested streets deftly and swiftly accelerating at every yellow light and in less than fifteen minutes they were at their destination.

"Horny," Anna muttered to herself with a shake of her head looking at the nondescript and unappealing bar as they cruised past it while Ororo looked for Victor's car. Half a block away they found Victor's beat up old '71 Jeep Renegade 4x4 and Ororo was able to find a parking space a few cars down.

"Nice car," Anna said sarcastically.

"It's his baby," Ororo said with a girlish laugh and Anna again shook her head.

It wasn't that Anna didn't want to see Ororo happy it was simply that Ororo took things too far sometimes and she always ended up getting hurt. The first real relationship she'd had was in college with an African prince, T'Challa who was tall, dark and handsome not to mention suave, cocky as all get out and, well, quite the ladies man. Ororo had worshipped him and he had truly seemed to be in love with her despite the many women who traipsed after him but they had never been able to commit to their relationship. Their goals conflicted and Ororo wasted a good year on him in Anna's opinion because T'Challa graduated and returned to his homeland the next year. T'Challa wasn't a bad person, had never intentionally hurt Ororo and had been honest with her from the get go and to be honest Ororo had wanted to get to know herself and pursue a career rather than go back to Africa where her mother was from. Even so Anna had seen how much it had hurt Ororo. She couldn't stop thinking about him or start to let go until she'd met Forge.

Anna didn't know what his last name was and didn't care because Forge, a Native American from the Cheyenne tribe, had been there for Ororo through one of the worse times of her young life, tending to her when she'd been ill and unable to work and taking her on long trips abroad to help her heal. They'd fallen in love somehow, Anna still couldn't understand that, and eventually Forge had purposed but by then Ororo was back on her feet, finishing school and planning her career. On what seemed like a whim to Anna, Forge had taken his proposal back leaving Ororo more than distraught. The excuse he'd used was possibly true that he felt she would never put him first like he had done for her but Anna, admittedly biased, thought it was a lousy excuse used to escape a commitment he'd realized he didn't want to make.

Still, Anna realized maybe Ororo hadn't truly been in love with Forge. There was none of the far off looks or the excitement and Speed Racer stunts to get to her man like now. And maybe that's why it bothered Anna so much. How could Ororo go from a prince of a nation to an Engineer such as Forge who owned his own company to a construction worker who acted more like a bum than anything? She wanted better for her friend. There was the hope that time would dull the thrill of the sex and Ororo would come around again but this wasn't like some of the other light relationships that mostly consisted of hot sex and little else, something Anna didn't approve of.

As they entered the little bar almost every head turned towards them. Ororo paused in the darkness waiting for her eyes to adjust but Anna, coming in behind her, gave her a little push and shut the door behind them. The bar was dark, smoky and not as crowded as Ororo would have thought. She took a few minutes to look around but didn't see Victor. She felt a surge of disappointment but then she remembered he preferred the back and she strode through the small bar ignoring the few people that were there.

But Anna had to grin as she watched the men ogling Ororo. She didn't blame them after all Ororo could be a model and she wore her clothes as if they were a second skin. The little black mini skirt she wore with a tiny white camisole top showing off her long smooth legs and taut belly were stylish and sexy, something Anna would never try to wear. She herself was clad in tight jeans and a green t-shirt which showed off her figure in a more modest manner.

A crowd of women were in the back laughing and Anna gave a sigh of relief thinking Ororo would turn back but she was disappointed. When Ororo saw the group of women she had a weird feeling that they were with Victor. Fighting back her fear, for why should she be jealous, she told herself, she headed directly to them. Sure enough there in between five women were Victor and his friend Logan. Now many women would have blown a fuse and laid into their man right then but Ororo stopped, mounted her hands to her hips and shook her head almost angrily then grinned that smile of hers that made Victor go all mushy inside.

"Who's she think she is?" one of the women asked when she noticed Victor and Logan looking at Ororo.

The few men in the back were wondering the same thing as they watched Ororo. No one said anything though, merely leered wishing she was talking to them but she only noticed Victor. It was a full half a minute before Victor looked up though Logan had seen Ororo the moment she'd stepped into sight and hadn't taken his eyes off her. Finally Logan nudged Victor from across the table, his throat too dry to speak. Victor looked away from the bosomy blond he was talking to and frowned at Logan who nodded in Ororo's direction.

"Someone's being naughty," Ororo said, her voice soft and sultry, her accent making naughty sound sensuous.

"Whoa, baby!" Victor laughed.

He fairly shoved the woman sitting beside out of the booth grinnin' ravenously at Ororo. The woman cried out but one look from him and she slid out of the booth and glaring angrily at Ororo went back to the restroom.

"Scram, girls," Victor said and all but the woman sitting beside Logan left each looking Ororo up and down in disdain as they passed her.

But Ororo only laughed and plopped down next to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and he laughed too.

"Does this mean I get spanked, Mommy?" he teased.

"Hmm. Perhaps later. Hi, Logan," Ororo said, giving him a smile.

Logan swallowed hard.

"Oh, Victor, Logan this is my roommate Anna – Anna these are my boys," Ororo said with another laugh. "Sit down, Anna!"

By now the women had congregated near the restrooms and Anna nodded politely at them as she stepped up to the booth though she did not sit as instructed. She wanted to go. She didn't like the looks of the bar or the women who were eying them as if they wanted to take them around back and beat the stuffing out of them.

"Silent type, eh?" Victor said.

"How y'all doin'?" she said, slightly annoyed.

"Southern gal, eh?"

"Victor, be nice," Ororo said gently.

"What?" he asked with a mischievous look. "Alright, alright baby," he said when Ororo frowned slightly. "Okay, take a seat, kid. Scram, Stacey. Tell her she can give you that lap dance she promised you later, Lo," Victor laughed.

At the sound of his name Logan managed to pull his eyes away from Ororo to see what Victor was going on about. The darkly tanned woman with short black hair sitting beside Logan gave him a pleading look as if she wanted to stay but Logan nodded curtly and she flounced off with an obscene gestured aimed in Victor's direction.

"You wish," Victor laughed obviously in good spirits.

"Well, Ororo ah really oughta go," Anna said, hoping Ororo would take the hint.

"Stay for just one drink won't you?" Ororo begged.

With a resigned sigh Anna sat down beside Logan who was again staring at Ororo.

"So Logan, what's a handsome guy like you doin' in a dump like this?" Anna inquired.

"Huh?" Logan glanced at Rogue and wondered briefly who she was then turned his attention back to Ororo who was whispering in Victor's ear.

"Can they make a Long Island ice tea here?" Anna asked.

"Get the broad a drink, bro," Victor bellowed when Logan failed to respond.

"What do you want?" Logan asked a little gruffly.

"I'll just get it myself," Anna said and she got up and walked back into the front of the bar.

When Logan turned back to Victor and Ororo he saw they weren't going to be much company the way they were going at it. Damn, she was hot, Logan thought. Too hot. No woman should be that hot. It made him uncomfortable being so close to her so he got up to get another beer. He saw the woman that had come in with Ororo at the bar and he came up beside her. He couldn't remember her name so he didn't say anything.

"Wasn't that one of the waitresses that was back with you guys?" Anna asked when she saw a familiar looking woman sashay past them, a drink in each hand and a decided look of anger on her pretty face.

"Yeah."

Brilliant, Anna thought – this one is the silent type. While she waited for her drink the bar tender handed a bottle of beer to Logan and she couldn't help noticing he paid no attention to it. Instead he was looking towards the back of the club. Anna leaned out a bit to see what it was he saw but was too dark to see that far back.

"How long have you known Ororo?" she asked while waiting for her drink.

"Huh?"

She sighed. He was either stupid or really bored with her which made him a complete idiot. He didn't even bother to wait for her just walked away, beer in hand. That Long Island ice tea had better be strong, she thought ruefully as she drummed her nails impatiently on the bar.

Interesting enough when Anna ventured back into the dark nether lands of the bar she found Logan sitting quietly at the table while Ororo and Victor were laughing. Anna stood off a little watching them. Ororo looked really happy and Anna couldn't begrudge her that. Victor looked like he was enjoying Ororo's company if nothing else, maybe even more than Anna wanted to admit with his big arm around her and his odd eyes staring at her and no one else. And Logan – Anna paused as she studied the look on Logan's face. He was a handsome man though a little too hairy for her taste with mutton chops and wild hair sticking up in points here and there. But it was the way he was looking at Ororo that got to her. She'd seen that look before, the same look Ororo wore every time she mentioned Victor.

Shocked at what she saw she sat down beside him almost forgetting her drink. As if on instinct sensing her presence rather than seeing her, Logan turned to her and then started to turn away then suddenly looked back at her. They held each others gaze briefly and then he looked down at his beer. Anna looked at her own drink then took a long sip. She was sure he'd seen the look on her face that he knew that she knew. It took her a few moments to wipe the shocked expression off her face but after a few minutes she took another long sip of her drink and shortly she chuckled. Ororo and her men, that girl was something else, Anna thought.

Muy – Spanish for very

**A/N** – Thanks again for the reviews and please ignore my last author's note – wrong chapter, lost my mind there for a bit. Hope to have next chapter out by Wednesday or Thursday. And sorry about putting this up before Skyz took a look at it – I've since corrected my glaring mistakes.


	10. Meet My Man

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin **

**A/N – **I couldn't post this yesterday because of the heartbreaking news in New Orleans and Mississippi, it just stopped me dead in my tracks and I couldn't get much of anything done. My heart goes out to all those who're suffering or those who may have family affected by Katrina and you're all in my prayers.I wish I could do more than just give a little to Red Cross.

To everyone who's reviewed you've been soooooooooooo nice with your comments and I really appreciate it! Thank you! I have to apologize for all the weird mistakes and author's notes in the last few chapters but I posted them before Skyz went over them, just in a rush to get them out, then put the corrected versions up, mostly grammar corrections, kind of the same with this chapter towards the end.

**Chapter Ten – Meet My Man**

With the aid of her Long Island ice tea Anna was able to tolerate Victor and Ororo's playful whispering and Logan's sullen mood. She thought of all the television shows she'd watched where everyone met at bars or coffee houses and everyone knew your name and they were all friends happily working out all their problems by days end and she chuckled to herself. There was no way she could see that happening here. Victor wasn't a redneck maybe but what an ass and Logan, Logan was in love with his best friend's girl! Sick puppies she thought to herself and took another sip of the potent drink. One good thing about Harry's they knew how to make a good strong drink.

The sight of Ororo and Victor was just as annoying to Logan as it was to Anna although for entirely different reasons. Logan tried to look anywhere but at Ororo but his eyes kept straying back to her glowing face. She looked so happy with Victor that it almost hurt him. He felt like the worse kind of friend and an even worse person. Who was he to resent their happiness?

He checked out Anna from the corner of his eye hoping she'd stuck her popped eyes back into her head instead of staring at him with that look on her face. What kind of woman dyed their hair white in the front like that anyway? Staring at him like she knew something. He pressed his lips together trying to suppress his anger. He knew she knew and there wasn't anything he could do about it except hope she didn't tell Ororo. Damn. What an idiot he'd been. It's just that he couldn't help it; she'd stalked in as if she'd owned the place and he couldn't take his eyes off her even now no matter how much he tried.

"Anna's a flight attendant also," Ororo was saying and Logan realized she was talking to him and had been for some time.

Who the hell was Anna? And then he remembered the odd looking woman sitting next to him. He refused to acknowledge either of the women. What did he care what Anna did if she knew more than she needed to about him? Hejust wanted this Anna personto go and Ororo too for that matter. They were ruining a perfectly good evening.

Neither Anna nor Ororo seemed to mind that Logan was ignoring them though it amused Victor. Anna took another drink then suddenly covered her mouth just before she sneezed. Unfortunately her New Island Ice Tea sprayed across the table. Victor moved back in disgust and Ororo reached for a sodden napkin to wipe her shirt off.

"Ah'm sorry, y'all," Anna said self consciously.

"You're not catching a cold are you?" Ororo asked with concern.

"Nope, don't think so."

"Keep away from me," Victor said grumpily. "I don't wanna get sick again an' I don't want you getting' Ro sick either."

Anna stared with wide eyes at Victor's audacity. This time Ororo didn't laugh his abrasively rude behavior off but neither did she meet Anna's eye.

"You know, maybe I got that Gulf War syndrome thing when we was over there 'cause I never used to get sick. Logan either but you ain't been sick this year – probably never, huh?"

Logan narrowed his eyes and glared at Victor but remained silent.

"I never told you did I, baby?" Victor said.

"Told me what?"

"Vic . . ."

Victor cut Logan off. "What? You got like super powers, dude! Be proud of it. He don't ever get sick. He's got some – what's it called, dude?"

Logan thought about reaching over the table and grabbing Victor by the neck and strangling him till his head flopped around like a rag doll and as his mind was otherwise occupied he neglected to reply to Victor's question.

"You don't get sick?" Anna asked.

It took Logan a few seconds before he slowly turned his head where he could see Anna and then he turned back to his beer once again contemplating strangling someone other than Victor however.

"I get sick," he said in a low voice.

"Aw, dude come on what's it the doctor's call it? Oh yeah, retro! Retro, that's it! He's retro, like this freak of nature. Once they even wanted him to get with this other chick who was retro too, wanted them to have babies to see what kinda kids they'd have.

"See it's some kinda rare thing not too many people have it. He don't get sick an' he can heal up real fast. He's even got an extra layer of skin. An' that's a medical fact. You cut this dude an' he heals right over. Stick your hand out an' let me show 'em, bro," Victor said eagerly.

"Can you shut it?" Logan growled.

"Tell 'em how when you get stabbed it heals up like that," Vic continued, snapping his fingers and easily ignoring Logan.

"Victor, maybe he doesn't want to talk about it," Ororo said.

"Why the hell not? What's the big deal?"

"I thought that corpsman said you had it too," Logan retorted.

"Stephens? How'd the hell would that little runt know?"

"'Cause every time I tried to kill your ass you kept comin' back," Logan said dryly.

Both women stared at Logan not sure if he was kidding or serious.

"You got that wrong, dude," Victor laughed. "Every time I tried killin' you, you was like the Terminator, wouldn't stop comin'."

Anna glanced at Ororo knowing how much Ororo liked Arnold and this time their eyes met and they shared an amused grin that only Logan noticed.

"I stabbed this fool myself more 'n a few times. An' let me tell you by the time a corpsman got . . ."

"What's a corpsman?" Anna asked.

Victor looked at her as if she was stupid. "A corpsman, sweets, is a navy medic, not a doc just a peon like us grunts were. So's anyway he's bleedin' like a stuck pig but time – who was that corpsman anyway? Wasn't Stephens – was that Calhoun?"

Logan was quietly seething. He didn't remember or care if it was Stephens or Calhoun. What the hell did it matter? And why should his medical condition matter? They didn't need to know! And once again Logan started plotting Victor's demise, this time in a more creative manner and once again he chose to ignore Victor.

"Don't matter who it was," Victor concluded. "You shoulda seen his face though – punk red headed kid always braggin' like he was hot stuff – that was Calhoun, red hair scruffy little mustache. Bet he bragged 'bout savin' you just like he bragged about everything else he had nothin' to do with."

The small group watched as Victor laughed, clearly enjoying himself.

"Yeah, that was funny," Victor said.

"What was funny?" Anna inquired.

"The way Calhoun looked when he tried to sew Lo here up. Skin had grown over like it was magic or somethin'. You remember how scared he looked, Lo?"

Logan was still glowering and not speaking.

"Didn't have to kill him after that," Victor went on. "Government pretty much did it for me. Experiment X or somethin' – what was it called?" When Victor saw Logan still wasn't going to answer he simply continued, "He coulda made a lot of money bein' their pet project but nope not Logan. Dude didn't re-up."

"What?" Anna was a little confused. Victor just shook his head at her ignorance.

"I had a friend who had epilepsy," Ororo said out of the blue. "When she was young she was always in hospital. I had a friend with asthma and he was always in hospital too – they hated it."

Now Victor and Anna looked at Ororo trying to figure out what she was talking about but Logan looked at her with new eyes.

"I wonder where they are now and how they are," Ororo murmured, oblivious to the others for a moment.

As out of the blue as her comments had been Logan was the only one who saw why she'd made it. When her intriguing eyes met his he shut his mouth automatically not realizing until then that he'd been staring at her with his mouth hanging open. He gave her a hard look, annoyed and resentful that she could affect him that way then started to look away but she flashed a small slightly hesitant smile and he caught his breath. Now he was more annoyed with himself. Her smile was apologetic which made him feel worse.

One corner of his mouth quirked up slightly but it wasn't what he'd wanted to do. What he'd wanted to do was tell her it was alright, that he understood but he couldn't find the words as they sat there together and yet a world away. He held her gaze just a little longer hoping she could see he understood and he was rewarded with the sight of her face lighting up as her smile grew wider. It made him feel better and he returned her smile.

No one else had noticed this small exchange. Victor was lost in his memories of the Corps just then and Anna was slurping the last of her drink but Logan felt as if he and Ororo had connected in a way he couldn't describe if only for that small simpatico moment.

"Um, ah gotta go, Ororo," Anna said after the last of her drink was gone.

She slid from the booth and the spell that had held Ororo and Logan entranced in mutual understanding was broken, music, laughter and idle chatter filling the air once again.

"Of course," Ororo said then pressed close to Victor for a second needing to feel his large solid body against her. It was like an anchor that kept her in the here and now. "See you later?" she asked him before getting up.

"We was just about to blow this joint too, you girls need a ride?" Victor said, thinking later would be too long before seeing Ororo again.

Anna could have gotten down on her knees right there on the dirty floor to show how thankful she was that they didn't have to accept his offer of a ride and soon they were all standing outside blinking in the bright sunlight ready to part. Ororo kissed Victor goodbye, waved to Logan who found his arm going up in eager response before he got on his Harley. Then the big bike merged into traffic and took off down the street. Anna was impatient to go herself but the lover's lingered as those new in the throes of love can't help but do.

It was at this time that a green Chrysler Sebring drove by and shortly braked hard just before hitting another car. Anna watched as a stout man got out of the car to access any damage. From where she was standing, just a little off from Victor and Ororo it hadn't looked as if the woman with flaming red hair had hit the other guy but you could never tell.

Traffic was already backing up and she hoped it wouldn't be difficult to get Ororo's car out of there. Ororo, running her hand along Victor's thick biceps, was again whispering to Victor. Anna wished they'd get a room or Ororo would just let her drive her car home but she took a deep breath and tried to muster up a little more patience after all escape was very near.

Now every day on the way home from work Jean always drove by Harry's to see if Logan's bike was there. It was a habit she'd had for several years now. She liked knowing where he was as it helped her plan her evenings. Odds were if he was at Harry's he usually came by to get a little sex and a place to sleep for the night. Lately though she'd found his bike often at Harry's she hadn't seen him. He might call to say hi, his voice thick with guilt but he had basically stopped spending the night with her.

She had a sneaky suspicion that he was seeing someone else and so she often drove by several times in the evening hoping to see him or figure what he was up to. It was an easy thing to do even if it was a little out of her way since she lived closer to the beach than Logan did. She usually didn't have the nerves to go into the bar and catch him out right so she was limited to driving by. The one time she had gone into Harry's, a scarf over her hair and wearing sunglasses she'd seen Logan and Victor shooting pool and talking, no women around them. Strangely enough it hadn't been reassuring and so her vigils had continued. Now she had just missed him though she had no way of knowing that but she did recognize Victor standing out in front of Harry's.

Tall, huge and ruggedly handsome he was hard to miss and as usual he was with a woman, this time two women, both with bizarre white dye jobs. Jean squinted hard to get a better look at them as she passed. The tall black woman in the tiny miniskirt and equally tiny top had to be a whore and Jean assumed the other one, though modestly attired, was one as well with the weird hair. She laughed, turned back to the road and thought to go around the block again to get a better peek at the women to see exactly what kind of competition she had to deal with though she knew Logan didn't care for whores. But Victor obviously did, the more fake the better apparently by the looks of those two Jean thought. He was such an idiot. And for the umpteenth time she wondered what Logan saw in the man.

An idea popped into her head and she laughed deviously. She doubted Victor's new bimbo knew he was out carousing with whores. Maybe she'd rectify that she thought just before she screamed. The sound of brakes screeching mingled with her scream. She sat with both hands clutching the steering wheel, her knuckles standing out stark white against it. The driver in the other car was getting out, a big man with a gut and wearing a polo shirt. She knew she'd barely missed hitting him so she remained in the car while he made sure of that.

"'S alright, thought you hit me there for a minute," he said almost sadly but he started towards her car wearing a wide grin. "You alright, lady?"

Jean got out of the car somewhat irritated after all she hadn't hit him so what did he want? Several people blew their horns while a truck tried to go around them. She looked back to see Victor and the women walking down the sidewalk towards her then turned back to the man flashing her prettiest smile.

"I wasn't paying any attention," she confessed. "But I'm fine, you're fine, no damage was done. Thanks for your concern."

"It happens," he said with a shrug. "No damage was done, Miss."

"No, no damage," she agreed hoping he would take the hint and get back in his car so she could get out of there before Victor saw her. The last thing she needed was Victor telling tales and boy was he good for that. She knew from past experience he was the king of tall tales.

The man's smile faded and he went back to his car. Jean jumped back into her own vehicle and thanked God for that seventh sense that women have. If it had been just a moment longer she could have done some serious harm to both their cars. Her luck held as she swerved her car into a small opening despite the blasting horn that greeted her from the person she'd cut in front of and she was able to make her way down the street undetected by Victor. As she was driving it occurred to her that maybe one of those women was his new girlfriend, the one Logan had liked so much even though he'd denied it. It would have to be the white one in jeans, she thought. But why would the woman tolerate Victor cozying up to that whore? The whole matter disgusted her. Victor was a pig. She hated him. But, still she had an idea about finding out more about those women, one she'd put into action as soon as tomorrow.

As Jean drove home scheming Ororo drove home humming while Anna watched the passing scenery just glad to be headed home. Ororo knew Anna hadn't taken to Victor though she hadn't actually noticed this until they'd left the bar. She also realized she should have done more to make Anna feel more comfortable but she'd been teasing Victor about what she was going to do to him later when they were alone and had forgotten Anna was even there.

She'd apologized and Anna had said not to worry and she'd meant it but it hadn't changed anything. Anna wasn't impressed with Victor and Ororo couldn't blame her. He hadn't been very friendly and what passed for friendly chiding between Logan and Victor had been inappropriate towards Anna. Lap dances and scornful looks, it made Ororo shudder. The whole situation reminded her of how she'd met Victor. Something she could laugh at now but at the time she'd been just as offended as Anna was now.

The man never changed. Victor was just as arrogant, loud, and egotistical today as he had been five months ago. Ororo had been working that day, and Victor was on her flight, non stop from Nashville to Los Angeles. He'd flirted with every woman that had come near him but most especially the flight attendants all while drinking more than he should have been. Ororo had requested that the flight attendant that was catering to him cut him off instead of flirting with him but the other woman hadn't listened.

Things got worse when Ororo caught her trying to get to the bathroom after Victor waved her over before he disappeared inside the john. Infuriated, Ororo had made it her business to stop Victor right then and there. It was funny when she thought about it now but then it had been the most unique experience she'd ever had with a passenger. She'd intercepted her co-worker, sent her on an errand and then taken gone to the rest room in her stead. Instead of the flirty 'stewardess' joining him in the small bathroom Victor had found a very angry Ororo stepping in.

It still amazed her to this day what happened after that. Victor, not being picky about girls lining up to join the mile high club with him, simply pulled her to him and kissed her. Ororo had been totally caught off guard but the kiss threw her even more and she forgot herself for a moment though she did pull away fairly quickly. She'd slapped him and told him off but Victor had only laugh then told her how beautiful she was and how much she wanted him.

It was something they both laughed at now but it was proof that Victor wasn't ever going to change. She didn't want to change him either although she'd like it if he were a little nicer to people like Logan and Anna but if she wanted to remain with him she knew she'd have to accept Victor for what he was. He wasn't the type who would ever change. And not only that but she'd have to accept the fact that some of her friends, and she thought of Remy now, would abhor her choice. But right now it wasn't something she had to think about because she never intended on introducing Victor to Remy besides they weren't that serious . . . yet.

For a moment she wondered what would indeed happen if they did get serious. She glanced at Anna briefly before turning back to the road. Out of all her friends she thought Betsy would like him the most because she was pretty wild herself and she gave as good as she got. Yukio, her very best friend, would find Victor amusing, good for a few laughs, a good screw and little else. They would all think she'd lost her mind if she took it any further. Anna would probably have a heart attack. Remy would probably want to kill Victor and maybe Ororo too if he ever got to see Victor at his worse.

After further thought Ororo decided it wasn't as amusing as she sometimes liked to think it was. She was starting to like Victor more than she'd ever thought she could and it looked like they might be together longer than either of them had expected. At first she hadn't given it much thought just assumed she was in it for a good time after all the heartbreak she'd experienced. Victor had been up front from the beginning telling her he didn't want to get married and wasn't looking to settle down but now she didn't know. Every night she was in town she spent with him and though neither of them had said anything and still no keys were exchanged it felt as if they were moving towards something more. And if her friends didn't like him, and they wouldn't though they'd tolerate him, some of them, what would that mean? Would she give up her friends for him? No. That would be crazy. Men come and go but friends and family were supposed to be forever.

Still a niggling doubt played at the back of her mind. Victor wasn't as bad as he acted. Maybe he was a felon, and she really would have to look into that if she wanted to be with him for any length of time which she was becoming more and more sure of, but felon's weren't necessarily horrible people. She could hardly judge him for that after having lived on the streets honing her skills of picking locks, pick pocketing and breaking and entering with the best of them and Remy wasn't right up there with her. Remy. If only Remy wasn't a factor. She was glad she hadn't told Anna about Victor's record now. Everyone deserved another chance didn't they?

"What ya thinkin' 'bout?" Anna asked, drawing Ororo out of her deep thoughts.

"Me? Oh, nothing really," Ororo replied, keeping her eyes straight ahead.

They were almost home and she was already planning on taking a quick shower, packing up her 'Victory' bag as she called it now, and getting over to his place as fast as possible.

"You're thinkin' about Victor. No need to lie, sugah," Anna said

"What were _you_ thinking about? How rude I was at the bar?"

The note of guilt in Ororo's voice wasn't missed by Anna. She studied her friend intently then made a decision.

"It ain't like he's a criminal or somethin', Ororo so ah'll give him the benefit of the doubt, okay?"

That wasn't exactly what Ororo had wanted to hear.

"Sugah, you okay?"

"I'm fine. Fine. Just fine. We're almost home."

"And in one piece too. Look, there's Remy wait till ah tell him about Victor. You know he's gonna die."

"Literally might be a good thing," Ororo muttered under her breath.

As Ororo parked Anna wondered if she should say anything about the way Logan had been watching Ororo but Remy got up from a wicker chair on the porch ready to help them with the tons of shopping bags he knew they'd have and when he smiled Anna totally forgot. By the time she thought about it again Ororo had already grabbed her things, skipping the shower, and was speeding off to Victor's.

"So, you meet Mister Hot Stuff?" Remy asked while he watched Ororo sprinting down the driveway to get to her car.

"Oh, yeah, ah did."

Bad subject, Anna immediately thought. Remy was sweet but sometimes too protective of her and Ororo. It was one of his endearing qualities but she had a feeling Ororo wouldn't be pleased if she told Remy everything Victor had done and said.

"So? What you think?"

"Hmm." She thought for a few seconds. How to stall the man she loved so much she'd do almost anything for him?

"He that bad?"

"Bad? Um, ah wouldn't say bad like _you're_ thinkin', swamp rat."

"Bad in like Remy gonna have to throw down on this homme?"

"He likes her, Remy an' she likes him isn't that enough? Ah mean people put up with all kinds of things when they're in love, look at us."

"You an' me are different, you the rogue, don't do nothin' like normal folk an' Remy don't either."

"That's why ah love you," Anna said with a grin.

"You think she in love with this homme?"

"No! No, she better not be! Wait, ah didn't mean it like that! Ah mean it's too soon an' ah wouldn't worry she's in lust, not love – oh, shoot ah didn't mean that either. Heck, Remy she's your partner in crime you know how she's been so lonely lately. All she wants is to feel needed."

"She wanna feel needed Remy'll make her feel real needed," Remy said with a smirk that Anna couldn't make out.

"You better be kiddin', swamp rat."

"You tryin' to protect her's sweet but if this Victor's an asshole he gonna be in trouble."

Well, there was no way Anna could deny Victor wasn't that but at least she didn't have to say anything one way or the other. As it was she was pretty sure she'd said enough. She hoped Remy wouldn't cause problems for Ororo now and if he did he left her out of it.

**A/N** – The retro part is true. An ex-boyfriend of mine is actually retro and everything Victor mentioned actually happened to my ex not Logan of course. Never did learn the correct medical terminology for it though.

Planning on having the next chapter up by Saturday.


	11. Playing in the Rain

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin **

**Chapter Eleven – Playing in the Rain, a Turning Point**

**A/N** – I think this chapter might satisfy a few of the questions asked and some of the desires you've had for the characters. And as always thank you for taking the time to review it's always gratifying and I should have the next chapter up by Wednesday I'm thinking. Hope everyone's having a good holiday weekend.

The pleasant weather turned during the next few days. Leaves began to change colors and fall gently from various trees though nothing splendid or in such profusion as in the East and Midwest. And autumn truly made itself be known and rain began to seem like an every day occurrence though the temperature was still mild. Many who were not nature Californian's were starting to miss the changing of the seasons but elsewhere the rain was being cursed by Logan as he got off his bike – season's be damned, it was supposed to be sunny in California!

He was wearing blue jeans and a leather jacket and was still soaked from his hair which was plastered to his skull and waist down. His instincts told him to keep riding but the clammy feel of wet cold cloth against his skin made him ignore his better sense. With everyone getting sick lately he wasn't going to chance it. No matter what Victor had said Logan did get sick it just didn't take him as long as others to heal.

The last thing he needed was to miss a day at work. Logan never missed work. If they'd given an award out for best attendance then he would win heads above everyone else. Of late Victor would come in dead last with all the time he'd been spending with Ororo. Logan knew Victor had a hefty car note each month for his fancy little Spyder but that hadn't seemed to bother Vic much now. But that was Victor's problem, he could afford to take off while Logan, even though he owned his own construction company couldn't.

Now he'd been forced to send everyone home due to the rain. As usual he was the last one to leave the job site and as luck would have it the rain had started to come down in relentless sheets. Since he was closer to Victor's than his own place he figured a shot of whiskey, a change of clothes and a ride back to his place would do just nicely. Truth is he wouldn't have stopped, would have just kept on riding drenched as he was, if he hadn't remembered Victor telling him Ororo was working and wouldn't be back till tomorrow. He never would have stopped if there was the chance that she'd be there. Something about her just did something to him, things he couldn't explain, things he didn't like to think about. He just figured he'd best keep shut of her till Victor got tired of her and then he could forget about her and things would go back to the way things used to be.

By time he walked up to the front of Victor's apartment building the rain had turned into a faint drizzle. He took a look around thinking he could make it to his place in less than fifteen minutes and started to turn around and get back on his bike but he didn't. Instead he walked into the courtyard and started up the steps. On the second floor his hand swept along the banister of the balcony walkway common to apartments in California as he made his way towards Vic's. He was looking down into the courtyard still thinking he should go when something caught his eye.

It was Ororo, showing up a day early wheeling her small luggage behind her. What happened next left him speechless and he stopped, gripped the railing with both hands and stared.

He watched in stunned fascination as a little boy ran up to Ororo and pulled her into the open courtyard leaving her luggage behind. Together they began to stomp from puddle to puddle still holding hands. The boy opened his mouth as if to shout or cry out but Logan heard nothing. Ororo's rich laughter rang out enough for both of them as she twirled and laughed in the rain. A little girl with two pigtails peeked out from a door just down from Victor's studio, her eyes wide a surprised look on her face. Logan thought that made two of them. He couldn't have been more amazed had it been Victor playing in the rain.

But the girl, having gotten over her surprise, was soon racing down the steps calling to them to get their attention and Ororo waved at her. Taking her wave as an invitation the little girl leapt after her splashing so hard it looked like a tiny tidal wave. The three pounced through the puddles laughing and splashing each other with no other concern than enjoying themselves it seemed.

At the sound of someone calling to them from the second floor just down from Logan they all turned to see who it was including Logan. Yet another little girl was pointing at them and laughing. The apartment door behind her was open and Logan could see a soft glow of a light, part of a couch and a coffee table before a taller girl ran out, pulled the other girl back in and shut the door behind her. He could hear the little girl bawling, pleading to go out and play even with the door closed. The pitiful wailing caused him to grin. He knew how disappointed the little girl must feel because for a minute there he'd almost wanted to go down and play with Ororo and her friend. He was sure he was getting sick, probably had a fever, either that or he was losing his mind.

"Logan, is that you? Hey! Logan!" Ororo called when she caught sight of him. "Hi! Come down! Come join us!"

"Huh . . .?" Logan involuntarily pointed at himself, two fingers tapped against his chest.

She couldn't be talking to him, he thought and looked around him but no one else was in sight. What's more it was still sprinkling! She'd have to be crazy to think he was going down there to splash around in the rain like a kid. But she was clearly serious for she ran up the steps two at a time and rushed up to him. She was wearing a short light rain coat tied at the waist but she was dripping wet, her hair a mass of soaked strands now.

"Hey – what're you tryin' to do?" he stammered as she tugged at his arms.

"Come on, Logan! Come play a little. Lighten up and have some fun!"

"I – no, no thanks, I'll just watch you."

"Come on, Logan. Victor would."

He laughed heartily. "Now that'll be the day."

She laughed too. "Okay, he wouldn't but you're not as macho as him."

"What?"

"Come on," she begged and there was that smile again.

It made his heart do flip flops and his mind turn to mush and the next thing he knew he was being dragged down the steps his hand in hers. The drizzle had now become a downpour and he thought for sure she'd abandon her mad plan but she only raised her head to the sky and opened her mouth to catch the rain. The children copied her and he saw his chance to run back for shelter but she grabbed him and did a kind of square dance swing your partner move linking arms with him then racing from him to the girl then to the boy and back again pulling them where ever she chose. They all seemed oblivious to the rain and he found it was contagious as they laughed and stomped acting like giddy children. Yep, he thought, he could see her coercing Victor into this but he was having too much fun to care. He just didn't want Victor to know, he'd never hear the end of it but even that didn't stop him.

Her hands were cold and wet but he held onto her pulling her behind him like a whip. The children grabbed onto her and soon he was leading them in a real game of crack the whip. Once he felt her hand slipping and he immediately grabbed her with both hands before she could fall. She laughed and pulled away showing her thanks by splashing him. But Logan gave as good as he got and he splashed her back kicking water everywhere until he heard laughter from above. He and Ororo stopped for a moment when they saw small group had gathered to watch their antics. A young couple, their arms wrapped around each other and two teenagers, both boys who couldn't stop laughing and pointing and an elderly woman who had laughed so hard she was coughing and had to go back inside.

"We better go in before the whole complex sees us," Ororo said and led him to the privacy of the front entrance.

"Bye 'Roro, bye mister!" the little girl cried and the little boy waved silently.

"Bye, Elsie, bye Artie. See you later."

"You – you know them?" Logan asked.

Ororo laughed at him. "Of course I know them. Artie lives downstairs, his father's a doctor or used to be, he's always out of town and Elsie Dee lives with her older brother Albert just down the hall from Victor. She has a crush on him so he's always avoiding her but she's the cutest little thing."

"She can't be too smart if she's got a crush on Vic."

Instead of being upset Ororo only laughed again finding Logan amusing.

"I didn't mean it the way it sounded – I mean she's just a kid an' all probably smarter an' me."

"You just don't know the softer side of Victor."

"Don't wanna know it or see it, lady."

Ororo shot a stunned look at him which threw him. She stooped to pick up her luggage without a word but Logan beat her to it almost snatching it from her. She straightened up and gave him a stern look then let him carry it for her. His mouth twisted to one side almost resentfully but in was more guilt. He'd done something to change her mood but he didn't know what. Neither of them spoke as he held the door open for her. She went through the doorway back into the courtyard past Artie and Elsie Dee who were playing a game of tag now and up the stairwell, walking fast. Standing in front of Victor's door Ororo unlocked it but instead of going in she turned around and glared at Logan.

"You don't like me do you?" she said.

His mouth fell open. "What? What're you taking about, lady?"

"There! You've never once called me by my name and you're, well I don't know, you hardly look at me. What have I done to you?"

"Where'd you get an idea like that from?" Logan asked. He couldn't understand where all this was coming from. Hadn't they just been playing like two kids laughing and having a good time or was that some other woman?

"The way you act around me," she said remembering the almost resentful smile he'd given her the other evening at Harry's, as if he resented her for being there.

"Um, like how do I act around you?"

"You just don't act like you like me."

"I'm sorry you feel that way," Logan said.

They stood there eying each other neither sure of the other. Finally Ororo exhaled not able to stay angry at him when he looked as if he was genuinely sorry and a little confused by her outburst. She went inside leaving Logan standing outside considering whether he should go in or stay outside and just slide her luggage in or not before leaving.

"Well, are you coming in or not?" Ororo asked over her shoulder.

He looked at her uncertainly. After a moments hesitation he pushed the luggage towards her.

"Thank you," she said, taking it from him and then she pulled him inside and he found himself inside the warm apartment, the door closing behind him.

He hadn't realized how cold it had gotten and he shivered slightly, the feel of his wet clothes once again uncomfortably clammy against his skin.

"Take your clothes off," she said as she unbuttoned her coat.

"What?"

She laughed. She'd never understand him. He was so reticent with her and though Victor said Logan was always that way Ororo felt he was more so with her.

"You can put some of Victor's clothes on. You're soaked through. I don't know what I was thinking making you go out like that. I guess that's a good enough reason not to like me."

"I like you."

His blunt reply gave her a moment's pause. He didn't look as guarded as he usually looked and Ororo saw he was at least trying to like her though she still didn't know what to make of him.

"I like you too, Logan. You're quite nice once you open up. Now take your clothes off."

His eyes bulged from his sockets and she couldn't stop herself from laughing at him.

"You can change in the bathroom. I'm not going to ravish you despite that gorgeous body of yours. I'll get some of Victor's clothes for you and I'll make some tea for us."

She ignored the look of distaste he gave her at the mention of tea and opened the closet. After searching a little she handed Logan several wire hangers.

"You can hang your clothes up on the shower rod and while you're in there can you hang my coat up with them?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Thanks, I'll find something for you in a minute; just let me change first, okay?"

Ten minutes later Logan was sitting on the commode in the buff waiting for clothes. Ororo had changed into a pair of dry jeans and one of Victor's t-shirts and she was humming a soft tune as she worked in the kitchen.

Just as he was pulling a clean towel from the cabinet underneath the sink Ororo knocked. He jumped startled and ended up pulling the entire pile of stack towels out instead of the one. He was on the floor gathering to him as fast as he could when Ororo stuck her head in. At the sound of her tickled laughter he turned a bright red up to his ears and quickly held a towel to his groin.

"What're you doing?" she asked.

"I – it was an accident. I didn't mean to – you . . ."

"What, are you embarrassed?" she laughed. "I can't believe you; it's not like I haven't seen you naked before!"

"Yeah, well . . . what if Vic walked in on us like this? I mean it just don't look right."

She giggled enjoying his discomfort.

"This ain't funny, now give me the clothes."

She squatted down and handed them over then started to take the towels from him but he caught her hand in his and shook his head quickly. Her long white hair, still wet but combed through fell over his fingers and he jerked his hand away.

"Just go," he said.

"Oh! Right. Sorry. I'll get out of your way."

"Good. Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"Go already will you?"

"I'm going," she laughed, clearly enjoying herself.

When Logan came out of the bathroom wearing Victor's huge clothes, the baggy pants cuffed so he could walk without tripping, she smiled thinking he looked like a he belonged in a MTV video. All he needed was a little bling bling maybe. With his hair slicked back, still damp, he looked very handsome.

However, the way he looked was the last thing on Logan's mind, the smell of what he was pretty sure were brownies was the first thing he noticed reminding him he hadn't eaten dinner yet. Oh, she was good! He'd begun to think she was a little strange what with her penchant for playing in the rain but the delicious smell wafting through the apartment instantly changed his mind.

"Here," she said, handing him a mug of tea.

He took the mug and looked for a place to put it down but a frown from her made him take a tiny sip to appease her. The liquid was piping hot and effectively burnt his tongue. After giving her a reproachful look he blew on it, slurped a little then grinned.

"What's in this stuff? Whiskey?" he asked.

"It's a hot toddy, a recipe I got from my roommate. You remember her – Anna. You met her a few weeks ago."

"Strong stuff – good though," he said, blowing again and taking a bigger gulp.

"I'll tell her you liked it."

Logan shrugged indifferently taking his time drinking the potent brew.

"Sit, talk to me," she said, moving to the table.

"I've got to be gettin' home but thanks for the clothes an' tea," he said as he put the mug down on the table.

"Oh, no you don't! We've never really had a chance to get to know each other except when Victor's around. I'd like to know you," she said and pushed him into a chair.

Logan gawked at her but sat while she sat across from him. He didn't like feeling the way he felt when he was near her, all turned around and confused and he didn't like the idea of being alone with her especially in Victor's apartment.

"You don't have to be afraid of me, I don't bite."

"I'm not afraid of you," he said though he looked anywhere but at her.

"Then why can't you look me in the eye?" she asked, bluntly. "Do you hate me – did I do something? Have I come between you and Victor, because I never meant to."

"I don't hate you," he said, now looking straight at her.

And on his face conflicting emotions warred, shock at her conclusion, guilt for having caused it, and above all hunger – for her, a woman he could never have. Still, his gaze did not waver not even when Ororo seemed taken aback by the intensity in his eyes. She swallowed lightly and looked down at the table, not able to meet his gaze. She fought for composure, slowed her breathing, then glanced up only to find he was still staring at her with dark demanding eyes.

She almost caught her breath and fought to regain her composure. It was harder than it should have been. Ororo usually maintained a calm, collected demeanor but she was truly taken aback and for a few seconds she'd felt as if she were losing herself in his deep penetrating look, as if she were being encompassed in something that there would be no coming back from and that the two of them would always share. And they sat there looking at each other without missing the absence of words and not needing them. And in that small moment something passed between them, something Logan had felt the first time he'd laid eyes upon her but something that caught Ororo by surprise now. But the moment passed and she again dropped her eyes as she pushed away from the table, standing too quickly trying not to think of what had just transpired between them.

Unfortunately in her haste she knocked her cup and saucer to the floor, the sound of porcelain breaking against the linoleum jarring in the small apartment. They both knelt to pick up the broken pieces but Ororo suddenly got up, too close to him for comfort and she hurried to get a broom. Logan stood up too, unsure what he should do. He didn't like seeing her so flustered and wanted to tell her it was okay but he didn't know how to go about it and then she was back, thrusting a small dustpan and small whisk broom at him, not looking at him but asking him, if he wouldn't mind, to sweep it up for her.

"I should check on the brownies. I think they're ready – I made brownies, I didn't tell you did I? I remembered you liked . . . I – well, oh yes, they are ready," she jabbered, now in the kitchen. "They smell good too. I hope I didn't cook them too long. They'll be dry if I did. I hate dry brownies although they'll be good right out of the oven. Hot though but not as dry when they cool.

"I'll be there in a minute. I wonder where Victor is. Have you seen him? Well of course you did at work but with the rain and all I thought he'd be home by now. I hope he's alright. Of course Victor can take care of himself so I shouldn't worry. Worry just causes . . ."

Logan watched her, hearing her babbling yet not hearing her. He sensed her uneasiness even though she'd forced herself to be quiet. She was moving nervously about the small kitchen and he knew without a doubt that she had finally felt what he had felt for so long now. And because it scared him he knew she was probably discombobulated right now.

Knowing that made him feel a better even though he knew it was selfish on his part. Now he didn't feel the need to get away from her. The persistent urge to avoid her, to keep silent in her presence felt as if it was seeping away and he no longer felt guilty or confused. What he felt for her he was sure she also felt for the same for him even if she never said a word to confirm it and just knowing that made him relax for the first time in months.

The burden he felt for wanting her wasn't lifted entirely but it was shared now and therefore lighter. What they felt couldn't be helped. Neither of them had asked to feel anything for the other but there it was. It couldn't be helped. Avoided yes for they would never act on it. He was sure of that. He would never betray a friend like that and he believed Ororo truly cared for Victor but more than that she wasn't the type to go behind his back especially with her man's best friend.

"They have to cool about ten minutes," she was muttering as she pulled off her oven mitts leaving the brownies cooling on the counter.

He smiled when she smoothed her hair self consciously and tugged at the giant t-shirt she was wearing. She poured herself another cup of the hot toddy and drank deeply as if she felt the need for something strong to steady her nerves. He watched her take yet another drink then turn to smile at him before she rushed from the kitchen past him and into the main room where she stopped at the door. She knelt down to open her luggage and though she needed nothing from it she searched through the bag as if to keep her hands and mind busy.

Finally she returned to him, avoiding his eyes. She took the whisk broom and dustpan and scooped the broken china up and deposited the mess in the kitchen trash. Then seeing that she had no choice but to face Logan she put a smile on her face telling herself to snap out of it. It was just a look, nothing more. It meant nothing, none of it. Not the alarming feeling she felt in the pit of her stomach, her racing heart, or the connection she had felt between them like electricity, wild and out of control.

A knock at the door startled her and she quickly went to answered it grateful for the intrusion. The little boy, Artie stood there dripping wet and grinning wide despite a huge gaping hole where one of his front teeth had fallen out. Logan saw the boy's skin was a sickly almost purplish color and when Ororo dropped to her knees to face him he wondered if he was sick from all the cold and the rain. Then the little girl Elsie Dee came running up behind Artie almost crashing into the boy.

"Did you tell her? Did you tell her?" Elsie Dee asked and then she grabbed Ororo's hand and tried to pull her out onto the balcony.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Ororo asked her eyes immediately flying to Artie but he was bobbing his head up and down excitedly and reaching for her too.

"'Roro come and look!" Elsie Dee insisted.

"I'll be back in a minute. Help your self to the brownies," Ororo said shutting the door behind her.

A few minutes passed and he wandered into the kitchen. After ten minutes, two brownies and another cup of the hot toddy Logan went outside to see if everything was alright. He found her standing at the railing in her stocking feet looking off into the distance and on her face was a look of genuine peace, something that he envied.

"You okay out here?" he asked.

"Oh." She smiled at him as he came to stand beside her. "Look," she said, pointing upward.

The rain had dissipated and in the brilliant blue sky a rainbow glowed softly. The pleasure she took from such a simple thing made him smile.

"It's a promise," she said and then went on – "A miracle really. It makes me feel as if everything's going to be alright."

He'd never looked at it that way before but now he looked with new eyes at the beautiful arch fading in the sky. They stood side by side, close but not touching until it seemed to fade before their very eyes. Then they saw it had grown late and cold and they turned as one and went back inside.

Now there was no discomfort in each others company and Ororo warmed the toddy concoction for them again and they each ate a brownie while waiting for it to heat. Logan offered to help but she refused so he just watched her doing things that any woman does in the kitchen, washing the few utensil's she'd used, wiping counters and putting up the ingredients. It felt good to be in the tiny kitchen with a woman scurrying about and he realized this was how it must feel when you were married and happy and warm and content and in love.

"I guess I should call Victor," Ororo said after the kitchen was made spotless.

"Yeah."

"I'm a day early, he wasn't expecting me."

Logan handed her the phone from off the wall but when she dialed Victor's number it went into voice mail.

"I switched flights with Anna, got back early, Victor – waiting. Bye."

"You really like that guy," Logan said.

"You sound as if you can't believe it. I know he's not the most sophisticated man and he doesn't have the best manners but sometimes it's the way a man treats you that matters and Victor's been nothing but good to me," she said, still holding the phone in one hand.

Logan took the phone from her and replaced it in the receiver. He noticed it had grown dark outside and he wondered where the time had gone.

"Guess I should be going." He paused then cleared his throat before speaking again, "Wanna thank you for the hospitality . . . 'Roro."

She smiled. "I like how you say that," she said.

"It's . . . a pretty name," he admitted.

He wanted to touch her, wanted to ask if she felt the same but his mouth wouldn't open. She moved to the refrigerator searching for something to make for dinner and he knew he should go but his feet wouldn't budge any more than his mouth. And then Victor burst through the door slamming it hard behind him.

"Ro? Lo? You here? Hey, saw your bike out front, dude – and Ro's car – she here too?"

Logan had come out as soon as he'd heard Victor and now Ororo stuck her head out past the curtains and waved.

"Smells good in here," Victor said. He passed Logan and stepped into the small kitchen to kiss Ororo but then he looked back at Logan and stopped.

"I'm starved and you don't have dinner on the table, baby? You're slippin'," he teased and let a swat to her rump replace the kiss he wanted to give her.

She laughed, her spirits rising as if she needed his energetic spirit to recharge her's that had become so confused. She waved him away not knowing he yearned to take her in his arms. Another glance at Logan, who was watching them, made him move back into the living area. "Whyn't we go out an' eat? Maybe Sizzler. That cool with you, baby?" he asked.

Knowing how much Victor enjoyed Sizzler Ororo nodded and began putting the few items she'd retrieved from the fridge back inside.

"Logan's treatin', ain't ya, ol' boy?" Victor laughed.

As Ororo came out to join them she passed Logan who had a smirk on his face and was rolling his eyes behind Victor's back. She suppressed a giggle. Men were so silly she thought, boys really – her boys.

"Give me five minutes to change and I'll be right with you," she said.

Victor's stomach growled but he felt starved for more than food and he wished Logan wasn't there so he could throw Ororo down and do what he pleased with her.

"What're you doin' here?" he asked Logan with a hint of resentment in his voice.

"Rained, thought I'd wait it out here – thought you'd be here, didn't know she'd be here, you said she was out of the country somewhere," Logan said, his words spilling out defensively.

"What's she doin' here anyway?"

"Early flight or somethin', I don't know. We just ran into each other an' she got all motherly on me makin' me get out of my wet stuff."

"Yeah, she does that," Victor said with a touch of fondness in his voice which Logan didn't miss.

A knock at the door drew Victor's attention away from the subject at hand and he went to answer it. There was the little boy, Artie on the threshold shifting nervously from one foot to the other.

"No, Ro can't come out an' play," Victor growled and the boy dashed off with a little shriek.

"She can't come out and play?" Logan asked with a chuckle.

"She plays with them kids just like she was a kid or somethin'."

"Like playin' in the rain?"

"Yeah, she's a little crazy – says she does the same thing in snow, you know, play in it and stuff. Go figure."

A smile spread over Logan's face at the memory of Ororo playing in the rain and for once he didn't mind being with her and Victor, in fact dinner at Sizzler's was sounding pretty good. If he could take a few brownies home for desert it would be even better. He was starved.


	12. Assignations

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin **

**Chapter Twelve – Assignations**

After dinner with Ororo and Victor at Sizzler's Logan went home in good spirits. The night air was brisk but felt good as he sped along on his motorcycle. Memories of Ororo laughing, talking and just listening to their guy talk filled him with surprising warmth tonight. It should have been a tense and uncomfortable evening but it had turned out to be anything but. Whereas he had been hesitant to be around Ororo to the point of never allowing himself to look at her, as long as he could help it now there was some type of rapport between the two, unspoken but there. He could see it in the soft smile she gave him, no longer as open but gentler and that was enough for him.

If he could see her, hear her voice and spend time with her in Victor's presence sometimes Logan thought he could be happy for the rest of his life. Now had anyone told him so little would make him that content prior to meeting Ororo, prior to her realizing what they could have that is, he would have scoffed and ridiculed them but he saw after tonight that it was all he needed to be content. He'd come to see that it was as good as he could expect. To love in vain had been torture and loving and losing the one you loved was hell so to have found love again, to see it hadn't been in vain and have that love acknowledged and possibly returned was all he needed. No more expectations. No more pain. No more heartbreak.

Maybe it wasn't what he wanted but he knew you couldn't choose who you loved. He'd loved Jean but she'd still been stuck on her first and only boyfriend, an apparent idiot who'd screwed around on her, gotten married without telling her and had a kid on the way by time she'd found out. He'd never tried to kid himself about the depth of Jean's love for him. He knew she cared and probably thought she loved him but for years he knew she was like him, still in love with someone they couldn't have only Mariko was dead while her ex was still around. He'd wanted to love Jean like he'd loved Mariko and he'd tried which is why he had stayed and yet why he had never thought about marriage with Jean. If his heart wasn't completely with her then what kind of marriage would that be?

Marriage was something he only planned on doing once. He didn't plan on screwing around behind his wife's back either. He never would have thought such a thought if he'd still been with Mariko. He knew Jean wanted to love him as much as he wanted to love her but he knew she couldn't and never would, not the way he wanted to be loved which was simple, plain and unconditional. And that brought him back to Ororo who to him was the perfect woman.

Ororo was exotic, built like a model and just as gorgeous, she was simple, wasn't demanding, she was accepting, sweet, beautiful, intelligent and she knew how to make a man feel good and a make a place feel like home. He wanted all that. Maybe the only thing he didn't like about her was that she was a little taller than he preferred. He didn't mind tall women, Jean was taller than him, but Ororo towered over him with those heels she always wore. She looked damn good in them though – sexy. Just like he and Vic liked a woman to look. It was ironic that. Everything a man could want in a woman and Victor who probably didn't think much about what Ororo had going for her except her body and looks had her. She belonged to Victor.

Logan knew Victor had thought about how lucky he was having Ororo once anyway, thinking it might be something like what Logan had with Mariko but he doubted Vic had thought about that again. Probably too much alcohol had made Vic sappy. From experience Logan didn't believe Victor was capable of real love. Victor was more the take a dog in off the street, kick it around a little, throw it a bone to gnaw every once in awhile and to him that was love. But let that dog run away and Victor, after a raging bout of practicing every cuss word he knew, would forget about it like it had never happened. Victor never appreciated what he had and probably because he'd never lost anyone that meant the world to him.

Logan had lost his first love and after all these years he'd come to see how valuable and irreplaceable that was. Jean was nothing like Mariko and never could be. For all her clinging Jean was a good woman but not irreplaceable. And though Ororo wasn't like Mariko either he knew Ororo was just as special as Mariko had been. Women like her didn't come along every day and Vic who didn't even want a woman like that was the lucky recipient. She didn't belong with Victor. She belonged with a man who would treasure her for all that she was, someone who would treat her like a queen. Someone like him. He figured that was pathetic more than ironic.

Unless Ororo had a twin who was exactly like her Logan was up the creek forced to make do with what he had. From his point of view it wasn't as bad as it could have been. And yet when he flipped on the light switch as he entered his apartment and a soft red glow spread over the room he felt his spirits sink. His apartment was furnished simply, a couch, a loveseat, a TV cabinet, a small dinette set and in his bedroom a full bedroom set with a waterbed but it wasn't inviting like Victor's was now. Though he had pictures on the wall that Jean had selected and curtains that covered the blinds and everything matched it still wasn't home.

His apartment reeked of Jean, in looks, in style, even in the odor he realized. He hated that odor too, she always put those plug in scent things that were overpowering. The latest ones were old but the scent still lingered to his oversensitive nose and he started searching for them ripping them from their sockets as he found them and hurling them across the room into the kitchen. He'd never asked her to do any of this, had even told her he hated those plug in things but she had said his place reeked of old sweat socks and garbage.

He hadn't denied it but had chosen that moment to let her pick his dirty clothes up and clean the apartment. It wasn't that he was using her as a maid or something just letting her have her fun. She didn't seem to ever be happy unless she could change him, his apartment and his lifestyle. Now as he picked up the four plug in's and tossed them into kitchen trash can he decided he didn't want any more reminders of Jean and thought he'd go out and buy some new stuff and call the Salvation Army to come get everything else. That thought gave him a good deal of satisfaction as he sprawled out on his bed. He'd do it tomorrow after work.

As he laid there, his stomach as full as his heart was he closed his eyes and thinking of Ororo he soon fell into a dream laden sleep. As he dreamt he began to toss back and forth, his dream both wonderful and troublesome leaving him hot, bothered and horny. Periodically a loud ringing noise sounded as he and Ororo made love breaking his concentration and finally waking him.

The phone rang again and like a young man in love he lunged across the bed for the phone picking it up before it rang again. It was a stupid thing to do; he knew it as soon as his hand had made contact with the phone. There wasn't any reason why Ororo would be calling him yet that's what he'd thought or rather what he'd hoped. Sadly all his hopes came crashing down at the sound of Jean's voice on the other end, sweet and cloying. She was always trying to get something from him, jewelry, a proposal, it was too much after spending time with Ororo who was down to earth and to the point and he would have hung up on her except he felt he owed it to her to tell her they were over.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"You."

The answer took him by surprise. Usually she was demanding to know where he was, what he was doing and whining for him to come over.

"I'm not wearing anything and I've been wanting you all night."

Damn! This was a new approach and an interesting one at that. He could hear her moaning seductively into the phone. He automatically closed his eyes. With his eyes closed he could hear Ororo moaning and it was Ororo who wanted him. His fantasy put him right back where he'd started from before he'd fallen asleep and when he woke up – without release.

"Want me to come over?" Jean said.

"No."

He knew she would be disappointed but he couldn't help it. The problem was not that he didn't want her to come over but that he did. And why not when she obviously wanted him and she could easily take care of his needs in the mood she was in. There wasn't anything wrong with that since they'd been together so long. But trying to convince himself that wasn't easy, Logan simply wasn't the kind of man that used women like that. No matter how easy it might be it wouldn't be fair to her.

He hadn't seen Jean for a few weeks now hadn't called her, had just left her alone thinking she would take the hint and see it was over between them. When she hadn't called him he'd assumed she knew and didn't mind but now her unexpected call was making him think of things he hadn't thought of in awhile. He was weak; he could easily admit that because he hadn't had sex in all that time and he wanted it now. It would be so easy to say yes so, no she couldn't come over.

"I'm right outside your door," Jean cooed.

That was a problem.

"Go home, Jean."

She laughed but the laugh was tinged with something other than happiness.

"I'm inside your apartment now and I'm taking off my coat. You know what? I don't have anything on underneath."

Damn. Well he couldn't get up and lock his door and he really had tried his best to send her away. He pulled Vic's borrowed t-shirt off and started to unbutton the too large pants because what she was offering was what he needed.

"I knew you didn't want me to go, lover," Jean said when she came into his room. She dropped her coat showing him she hadn't been kidding. She was completely naked except for a pair of stiletto heels.

No, he didn't want her to go not right away at least.

An hour later Jean was smiling in her sleep, her head resting on Logan's sweaty chest but sleep hadn't come to Logan. He had relief from his lust but not from his guilt. He tried closing his eyes and breathing in deeply but it didn't work. Shortly he rolled away from Jean and adjusted his stocky body on the bed away from her trying to get comfortable. However, Jean instinctively followed spooning her slender body against his which made him feel even worse than before but he didn't want to wake her so he laid there for some time still unable to relax.

When sleep still evaded him he turned onto his stomach resting his head on an arm. After a little while his eyes shot open. The clock on the nightstand showed him five minutes hadn't passed yet. He switched back onto his side curling up into a fetal position avoiding touching Jean then he closed his eyes again hoping sleep would come and take him away from the mess he'd just gotten himself into.

Time ticked off slowly and then for a moment he thought he was dreaming but his eyes shot open and the vision remained clear in his minds eye – a nightmare come to life. He saw Ororo in bed, her long brown legs wrapped around Victor pulling him to her closer and closer seeking release just as Jean had sought her own release over an hour ago. He shook his head trying to clear it then sat up and leaned back against the headboard. As much as he didn't like the thought of Ororo with Victor he had always been able to put it from his mind but tonight he couldn't. It should be him she was with – he believed that with every fiber of his being. But then his better sense fought through and he gave a dry chuckle. He'd told himself he could be content with what he was lucky to get, a look, a laugh, being able to be in her presence – essentially sharing her but in reality he didn't think he could do it. The thought made him groan.

She had no idea what she did to him. He could leave things the way they were and force himself to accept it or he could try to forget her. The only problem was he didn't want to forget her and not see her now. But he wasn't going to be celibate in the meantime either. He didn't have to be faithful to a woman he was never going to be with. Life didn't work like that. Just because he'd fallen in love didn't mean he didn't have needs. Still he didn't want to be with just anyone. He lied back down and pulled his bedspread over him but almost immediately threw it off and got up.

Jean rolled over and fumbled for the covers that he had inadvertently wrenched from her but she didn't wake. He went into his bathroom and started the shower. After a long and very hot shower he came out dripping water on the floor while he searched for a towel. Then he remembered he was supposed to have done laundry two days ago but had put it off so there were no clean towels. From such a weird day and an enjoyable evening it was turning into an awful night. He picked up Victor's old shirt and used that for a towel. After he was fairly dried off he got back in bed. This time when Jean squiggled closer he didn't move. He felt as if this was supposed to be his fate. It was a miserable feeling but if fate was trying to tell him something then maybe he should listen.

The next day Jean was her usual happy peppy self. She cooked a big breakfast for Logan, his favorite, pancakes, bacon and eggs, all things she'd brought with her when she'd decided to seduce her errant lover. Logan ate what he could without much of an appetite. He was still thinking about his fate, to be in love with his best friend's girl and yet stuck with another woman even though he'd loved her once. Realistically if he couldn't have Ororo and being a healthy man with needs then Jean would have to be a part of his life and that meant getting back with her, taking the good with the bad.

Going over the good and the bad he decided breakfast was good but that she'd stayed after was bad. Sex was more than good, it had been so long since he'd had any, but again he'd prefer her going home afterwards. The ultimate bad part of it all was that he'd have to give her something in return. Time, attention, conversation, everything he didn't want to and that he'd rather spend on Ororo. But on the other hand he reasoned he could probably get away with what he always got away with Jean because nothing had really changed. Jean was a little more aggressive which he didn't mind at all but he still figured he knew how to keep her in check so she didn't get out of hand which was good.

The bad and good, all balances just like Ororo and Jean, it all depended on what he did. Having come to that conclusion he was starting to feel better that is until Jean tried to kiss him. He held her off as he always did knowing how much she needed kisses, and made sure her lips only made contact with his cheek and nothing else. He didn't like kissing much, like Victor he felt women thought kissing meant more than it did and so he had tried to kiss Jean as little as possible after the first few years they were together. Overall it really hadn't been a problem. Jean just assumed he didn't like kissing and dealt with it. He'd liked that about her but then things had started to change and as she hinted too much for marriage she also seemed to want more kisses.

He knew she wanted to get married and have kids before she turned thirty. She'd even threatened to marry someone else after they broke up that time but when he'd seen her and she'd seen him that day on the street they'd gotten back together as if nothing had ever happened almost like fate had been talking to him back then too. As he drove to work he wondered if Jean and not Ororo was supposed to be his fate but after he got to work and Victor came in late as usual with a lascivious smirk on his face Logan knew Jean wasn't his fate at all.

Strangely this was on Jean's mind as well. Of late she had given up on Logan. It wasn't that he had disappeared which he did occasionally it was that he'd been gone for so long. She had refused to call him though she'd tracked him as best she could. She'd usually found his bike on the street near Harry's. If she saw his bike there after work she would drive by later and if it was still there it gave her a little satisfaction.

A few times she had hidden in her car peeking out the window while parked across the street until the bar closed. Each time it was always Victor with Logan and they had gone their separate ways. It was a stupid thing to have to do and because she had lowered herself to do it she was furious with him which kept her from calling him all this time. In fact she would never have lowered herself like she had last night if her other boyfriend hadn't been such a liar.

Nearing thirty had Jean antsy. She wanted a boy and a girl along with the house with the white picket fence in the suburbs and she was running out of time. She had been drawn to Logan because of his sheer masculinity but before she'd started seeing him she had only been with one other man. Scott Summers was her childhood sweetheart, tall, confident and gorgeous. He loved her and she loved him but things had changed when they went away to different colleges.

He'd gotten married on the spur of the moment and neglected to tell her so when she popped up to surprise him she had been crushed. The worse part was that his wife looked very much like her. Red hair, same features, same figure, very near the same voice. It had wounded her to the core but it had also made her determined to win him back and so she'd transferred to his school and began a campaign to woe him back. Soon Scott had left his wife even though she was pregnant and Jean made sure he never went back.

They'd moved to California but even she knew it wasn't the same between them as it had been before. For one thing she was bitter and harbored a deep resentment towards him and in all honesty who wouldn't feel the same? But Scott's heart was torn in two. He loved Jean but he loved the child his wife gave birth to, a son. It didn't help matters that his wife, whom he was in the process of divorcing, had gone crazy and had to be institutionalized. Jean had been willing to raise Scott's son Nathan but in the end Scott had allowed the boy to be reared by foster parents while he and Jean finished school.

Had he finished school he would have gotten his son back but his life took a turn for the worse. He discovered he was going blind. He took the news hard but Jean was rather delighted. It meant he would be hers forever. The thing was Scott didn't seem to know this and he went off by himself to deal with his situation. Jean had met Logan while Scott was gone and since she never heard from Scott again tried to forget her love and the hate she bore towards him, not an easy thing especially when one day Scott called her.

Since she and Logan were having problems she had been overjoyed to hear from Scott again. It was as if he had returned from the dead. And so it was an easy thing to fall back into their same pattern again. She started seeing Scott without Logan knowing about it. All he could see that she was complaining too much, wanting him to take her out more, hold her hand, kiss her more and spend less time with his friends so he could be with her. It was almost as if she hoped to drive Logan away and it worked. Logan went his way; she stayed with Scott and waited for Scott to pop the question.

The only problem is that Scott once again wasn't on the same page as her. So instead of finding happiness with her long lost boyfriend she felt the old bitterness and resentment rising in her. And then she'd seen Logan straddling that big Harley of his and he'd looked so masculine in that rugged handsome way of his, everything that Scott wasn't and she'd gone back to Logan. She thought Logan had missed her and thought she'd missed him but what she wanted was marriage and once again Logan, like Scott, didn't popped the question.

Scott was still in California, still calling her and she would see him sometimes though Logan didn't know this. It was as if she and Scott were stuck in this hellish circle she couldn't escape from. She loved both men and resented both men. She knew she could only have one of them and she almost didn't care which one it was she was just determined to get what she wanted – marriage and children. At this point it was just a matter of who asked her first. Only fate could decide that.

All this reminded her of the plan she'd come up with the other day when she'd seen Victor with Ororo and Anna whom she'd mistaken for prostitutes and so she left the dirty dishes for Logan to take care of later and picked up his phone. After searching through his speed dial list she found exactly what she was looking for.

When the phone rang Victor was long gone and Ororo was startled out of her sleep. She'd been up late with Victor and didn't have a flight that day so he'd snuck out of bed as quietly as he could and gotten ready for work without bothering her for their usual bout of morning fun. Now she reached for the phone, her fingers searching under the bed where it usually ended up hoping it was Victor who had taken to calling her throughout the day to see how she was. They never talked long but it always gave her a jolt of happiness knowing he missed her. But it wasn't Victor on the line. It was a female asking to speak to Victor. At the request Ororo's had felt as if her world had come crumbling down around her.

"Hello, is Victor there?"

"He's not here . . . can I . . . take a message?" she managed to get out.

"Oh no, I don't want Victor I was calling to talk to you. You don't know me but I'm Jean, Logan's girlfriend," Jean said in her bubbly voice.

"Jean?"

"So he's told you about me. He told me about you too and I thought we could get together, maybe have lunch."

"Lunch?"

"You see I want to surprise Logan and I thought you could help me."

"Me?"

"Uh huh. Logan seems to think a lot of you and since Victor and Logan are best friends we're bound to meet sooner or later so why not now? But you have to promise not to mention this to Logan or Victor because I don't want to ruin the surprise. I'll tell you all about it, it'll be fun we'll have girl's day out."

Though Ororo should have felt instant relief when Jean had explained who she was she hadn't. Logan's girlfriend had seemed non existent to her and she had begun to think he'd broken up with Jean but there she was purposing they get together for lunch and asking her not to mention it to either Logan or Victor because she didn't want some surprise she was planning to be ruined. She had no desire to meet Jean at all though she had never realized this before.

"So is today at noon good for you? I can manage to get off for an hour and a half. There's this little restaurant down the street from where I work that has great salads," Jean went on.

"I'm sorry but I can't have lunch with you," Ororo said.

There was a pause as Jean digested this bit of news. She had anticipated as much knowing Victor had probably already turned the new girlfriend against her as he usually did but she was persistent.

"Then tomorrow or the next day – any day that works for you is fine with me. It's just that I need your help because Victor's the only real friend Logan has and with your help I'm sure Victor would go along with my plans. It's going to be a wonderful surprise you just have to help me."

"What kind of surprise are you talking about?" Ororo asked.

"Oh, we can talk about it over lunch and then you'll see how wonderful it is. Logan thinks very highly of you I know he'd be pleased if we got together so what day works for you?"

Caught off guard Ororo found herself agreeing to meet one day next week. Jean had sounded disappointed but after Ororo had explained she was a flight attendant and her schedule was full up until next week Jean had agreed. Ororo still didn't feel any better after she'd gotten off the phone. Something told her she'd made a bad decision in accepting the luncheon date but she had no way of contacting Jean to cancel and she didn't dare ask Victor and certainly not Logan for Jean's number.

An icy chill full of dread settled over Ororo and she couldn't shake the feeling so she got dressed and drove home hoping to talk to Betsy knowing she would be more help than Anna. Only when she got home Betsy was out with her new boyfriend, Warren Worthington III a rich playboy often on those celebrity news shows on TV. Betsy wasn't answering her cell either and she ended up pulling an Ororo, not coming home at all for the rest of the week. She left a message much as Ororo was apt to do, saying she was having a great time and would see them later but when later was Ororo knew not to count on it.

The only other alternative that Ororo could see was talking to Remy. He always had good advice when it came to relationships though she'd often not listened to him. She spent so little time at the townhouse she hadn't had a good talk with him in a while, the last time sending her running to Victor's. She dreaded the thought of Remy ever meeting Victor so really what advice cold he give? What she needed now more than anything was advice from a woman.

That left Yukio but as the days passed Ororo refrained from calling her best friend. Yukio would have told her to go and drill the woman for everything she knew about Victor which Ororo didn't want to do. She had a feeling Jean probably didn't like Victor with the way he talked about her to Logan. She had a good feeling Logan didn't care overly much for Jean either. The truth was that she didn't think she would like her either. She didn't want to think about Jean much less meet her.

It pained her to think about what had passed between her and Logan the day they'd played in the rain knowing he was still involved with Jean. She shouldn't have assumed he wasn't with her just because he never talked about her. She was ashamed to admit to herself that she was hurt that he was still seeing her when he . . . But there wasn't anything between her and Logan, she told herself. A feeling had been shared between them, something mutual and strong and strange maybe but that's all it was and nothing more. It had meant nothing. That's what she told herself and tried to believe but in her heart she knew it meant that she could care for Logan and be with him and be happy.

He was so unlike Victor. A gentleman, quiet, respectful, observant she thought. He wasn't crude or rude but thoughtful, usually. He was handsome too, more than Victor. She shook herself trying to rid herself of the goose bumps that ran over her arms at the thought of Logan. That was a good reason not to think of him. Instead it was better to think of all the bad things about him. For instance he was too quiet, not very friendly, he drank a lot but then so did Victor. Ah, but Logan was short. He was very short. Ororo liked men her own height or taller. She didn't know if she'd want to be with such a short man. She loved her heels. Being with a short man meant she'd have to give them up or either tower over him and look foolish.

She moaned and hid her face in her hands. That she was even contemplating such a thing was awful! What kind of woman sits around thinking about being with their boyfriend's best friend? Never her. She'd never do something like that – never!

The days passed and Ororo grew more and more nervous, so much so that she avoided Victor, glad that she had work to give her an excuse not to be around. She counted the days off dreading the meeting. She thought she should mention that she was meeting Jean but she was still a little undecided. Victor wouldn't care but what about Logan? Not telling them was kind of like lying and she didn't lie. She didn't lie, cheat or steal anymore. She'd grown a lot from the wayward child she'd been and now she lived as honorably as she could. So she stayed away not able to face them because she was sure that if she'd seen Victor Logan would be there and she couldn't handle that right now. Maybe she could after she saw Jean but she couldn't now.

The restaurant Jean had chosen was small but had an excellent reputation. Ororo had passed it often and had wanted to try it but Victor had never wanted to and so she had put it off. Now as she walked into the place she looked around feeling silly. She had no idea what Jean looked like and she realized Jean wouldn't know her either. There was no one to seat her so she took the opportunity to look around. There were several couples, a few women eating together and one older man who looked was going over a menu. Not overly crowded at all but it was early yet, eleven, the time they'd both agreed upon. She looked at her watch and saw she was mistaken, she was five minutes early. She decided to take a seat on the couch beside her while she was waiting.

She hadn't noticed the woman sitting there but Ororo did now. The woman had red hair and brilliant green eyes that stood out, very pretty. She'd been reading a book but now she was staring at Ororo with her mouth hanging open. Ororo was used to being stared at and though it was annoying she had learned to ignore it but she didn't sit down, instead she moved away from the couch and smiled when she saw the hostess de coming to greet her.

"Hi."

Ororo turned to see who had spoken to her. She was surprised to see the red head had closed her book, pulled her purse onto her shoulder and was now standing beside her.

"I'm Jean!"

"Oh. Hi."

"You know what this is so embarrassing but I – I've forgotten your name. I'm such a dufus. Can you ever forgive me?"

"It's an unusual name I understand. It's Ororo."

"Aurora. Right! I'm so sorry."

Before Ororo could correct Jean the hostess was attempting to seat them. They were given a booth with a window in the non-smoking section, their menus and a lot of pleasantries. Finally they were alone and able to study the other. Jean had been flabbergasted to see the woman she'd thought was a whore standing in the restaurant. She had though for a minute that it was mere coincidence but after looking for the other woman with the white stripe in her hair and not seeing her any time soon she realized this white haired black woman had been the one standing closest to Victor that day she'd seen them. In fact she recalled the other woman in jeans in a t-shirt hadn't even been standing that near Victor so despite her shock she had introduced herself.

"So what's this surprise you have planned for Logan?" Ororo asked, cutting to the chase.

"Oh, it's going to be good," Jean replied.

**A/N** – Next chapter Jean uses Ororo to put her plan into action but it doesn't turn out quite the way she expects. However, the unexpected means a few twists are in store.

I really had fun with this one so after Skyz looks it over it's ready to go. Again, thank you to all who have hung in there and reviewed.


	13. Expect the Unexpected

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin**

**Chapter Thirteen – Expect the Unexpected**

"Well that went nicely, don't you think, Aurora?" Jean smiled as she placed a tip on the table.

Ororo wasn't exactly sure she agreed. Jean still hadn't figured out how to pronounce Ororo and she'd given up trying to correct her. As she dug through her purse for a tip of her own she wondered exactly what she'd gotten herself into.

"You're everything I thought you'd be," Jean was saying. "I'm so glad we met now we're going to have to be good friends."

"I'd like that," Ororo said and though she felt Jean was trying too hard she truly meant it.

"I'd like that too," Jean said with the most genuine smile Ororo had seen since they'd met earlier.

Neither of the women had turned out to be what each had expected. The only thing in common that the women had was actually Logan. Jean was nice and she tried to be friendly but every time she'd looked at Ororo she'd remembered Logan's reaction when she'd asked him about Victor's new woman. Nothing dramatic but nothing like his usually flippant reaction when she questioned him about Victor's women, for one thing he'd almost as admitted that he'd wanted to sleep with the new girlfriend. He hadn't denied it at all just said he hadn't slept with her and wasn't that what mattered.

That was always on Jean's mind, that her Logan had been tempted by Victor's latest bimbo. By now of course she'd discovered that Ororo wasn't the bimbo or whore that she'd originally assumed she was but that had only made it harder on Jean. Ororo was the competition, she had Logan's interest and there wasn't much Jean could do about that unless she kept herself in the loop. Still what the women had agreed on meant that Ororo now knew Logan was off limits that Logan belonged to Jean until Jean said otherwise and that was enough for her right now.

However, Jean's gushing comments about how Logan and she were so happy had struck a nerve with Ororo. She knew she should be happy for them but she wasn't. It bothered her that Logan was with Jean, that he had a woman when she thought there was something between her and him. She knew it was wrong and selfish and silly but she still resented Jean. It just seemed to Ororo that Logan deserved someone a little more sincere and down to earth, someone like her or similar to herself. She almost felt sorry for Jean because she was positive that Logan didn't love her like Jean kept professing. And this thing that Jean wanted her to do, she'd agreed to help against her better judgment but only because she wanted Logan to be happy and she knew being selfish wasn't going to ensure that. She knew she'd have to let the sparks die between her and Logan if he was going to find any happiness because nurturing those sparks and cherishing them wouldn't be fair since she had no intention of leaving Victor any time soon.

So the women parted with smiles and the exchange of phone numbers planning to get together again soon, hoping and yet not hoping for a lasting friendship. The surprise Jean had in store for Logan was going to be perfect she'd professed especially with Aurora's aid. Ororo had the feeling that Jean didn't know Logan well at all and though Ororo was just getting to know him the plans Jean had didn't seem like something Logan would appreciate. She hoped she was wrong that Jean knew Logan better and it would prove to be something he would enjoy. Her gut instinct told her she wasn't wrong but after all was said and done, the check paid, the tip laid down she refused to listen to her instincts. What mattered most was letting go of any feelings she had towards Logan. It served no purpose other than to hurt them both as well as the people they were involved with. So her decision was made. She would help Jean and she would do the best she possibly could. Now all she had to do was convince Victor.

xox

A seven year anniversary was supposed to be a big deal or so Jean had told Logan. He was pretty sure he was supposed to bring home flowers and candy and make reservations for dinner so he'd gone ahead and done all of that despite Victor making fun of him. Logan hadn't gone back to Victor's after their dinner at Sizzler partly because he couldn't stop thinking about Ororo. Knowing or thinking she felt something towards him was driving him crazy. He figured it was best to avoid temptation even though he was pretty sure he could have if he'd been forced to be around her but he thought the old saying, better safe than sorry applied one hundred percent in this case. It would be best to take Ororo in small quantities, just enough to enjoy the sight of her and listen to her soft accent while she spoke but not enough to make him need more than that.

It couldn't be too much longer before Vic would tire of her and move on he reasoned as always. Maybe a few more months. He'd seen Victor checking out the singer who billed herself as the Dazzler a few times over at the dance club Mojo World. Sometimes, though not often, they went there after work when they had taste for some Grolsch or some other ale they couldn't get at Harry's who was disinclined to offer imports. They'd drink through dinner and wait for the entertainment but the last time they'd gone had been awhile. He wondered how Victor could think any woman could compare to Ororo but he knew how fickle his friend was. He wondered if Ororo knew. Would she be prepared when Victor sent her packing? Would she be able to handle it? Was she in love with him? It hadn't looked that way to him but she'd been happy or at least she looked happy. He wondered how much in love could she be with Victor who had nothing to offer her.

Many would never give Victor a second thought; they'd see him for what he appeared to be, loud, rude and cocky. Logan knew Ororo had seen past the façade just as he had but what he didn't know was that Victor felt more deeply than anyone would have ever guessed and especially Logan who thought he knew him so well. Though Victor was indeed capricious, often blowing off woman after woman once he got bored, he wasn't anywhere close to doing that with Ororo. And when Ororo had requested his help he had gone along with it wanting to please her even though he knew Logan wasn't going to like it. He'd neglected telling Ororo that because what was the point if Ororo had gotten a crazy notion in her head? Women needed their little games to be happy, it was something he'd come to accept long ago and as long as it didn't involve him too much he didn't care.

So he fell in line and told Logan he needed to wash up at Logan's apartment before Logan went over to Jean's with the necessary anniversary presents and Logan hadn't objected. He didn't want to celebrate what to him seemed like a death sentence. They hadn't had any more fights after getting back together but everyday she was hinting at something or another. He'd fallen back into his old habit of just not listening to her any more but that wasn't how he wanted it to be. They'd used to be able to talk even though she went on about clothes and shoes and gossiped about the life of movie stars all the time. But that hadn't really been talking. She'd been talking and he'd been looking at her happy to have her after Viper had messed up his life so bad. All he'd wanted to do back then was get into bed with Jean but she'd talked and laughed and led him on giving nothing in the end until he was desperate for her and she had him right where she wanted him and they both knew it.

When Logan flicked the light switch on when they entered his apartment instead of the usual blue or red light that would bathe him a blinding garish yellowish-white light shun out and a chorus of 'Happy Anniversary!' bombarded him. Victor threw his head back and laughed and laughed. There was Jean dressed in a skimpy skin tight little black dress and heels so high he knew she'd be staggering in them after a few drinks. And Marko was there with a woman on each arm. Jean's neighbors, the Lee's were there with their teenage daughter Jubilee. Logan had taught her how to drive without her parent's knowledge a few years ago. He liked Jubilee, thought of her almost like a kid sister. Now she was hugging him and thrusting a package in his hand. Jean was hugging him too and kissing him. She'd already had a few he could tell by the way she snatched at the candy and flowers.

He peered up at the confetti that was being tossed over him and Jean and he wondered how they were going to get it all up. His vacuum cleaner had been broken for a year now.

"Happy anniversary," a quiet voice greeted him and his heart leapt into his throat. Ororo, tall, elegant, beautiful as ever was smiling that smile that did things to men that no woman should be able to do. She was in his arms he saw she wasn't as tall as she usually was and looking down he saw she wore little ballet type shoes with no heels. Even though she was still taller than him he held onto her harder than he knew he should, liking that she was shorter, and when she kissed his cheek and tried to step back out of his hold he wanted to pull her back and kiss her back but Jean was laughing and talking all at once then slipping into his arms and telling him how it had been Ororo who had convinced Victor to go along with her plan to surprise him. Now Ororo was handing him a gift but he didn't want something wrapped in plan white paper with delicate silver bows that looked like an intricate flower on it – he wanted her.

"Oh, that's so sweet," Jean said as she tried to take the present but Logan, as if suddenly recalling all Jean had been babbling on about pulled it away from her angrily.

"You two know each other?" he asked. When Jean nodded he looked even angrier and bellowed – "How?" Why hadn't they told him was what he meant.

"I called Victor's once and she answered, why?"

"I . . . I just didn't know you two knew each other is all."

"Oh, for a while now," Jean said with some satisfaction.

The look Logan gave Ororo tore at her heart. It was a wounded look full of accusation. As if she'd betrayed him she thought heavily. But it was over before she could interpret it further and he was calling out for drinks all around ignoring her and squeezing Jean close.

That night Logan got drunker than he had been since the whole Viper debacle. He took Jean into his bedroom while everyone was enjoying them selves in the small living room.

"I gotta get over this," he muttered to himself. "Gotta forget . . . I need to . . . I should get married . . ." he heard himself say and thought it was someone else talking crazy.

"Oh, Logan! Yes! Yes!" Jean squealed and jumped upon him wrapping her long legs around his waist. "Make love to me!"

And he did what she wanted but it wasn't love he felt as he sought release. As the party died down he woke up with a start. He looked around the room expecting to see looming dark figures surrounding him just as they had in his dream. But only Jean was there, passed out on the bed, a sheet partially covering her lower body. He pulled the sheet up over her chest and observed her all while trying to forget the images he'd seen in his sleep. There had been a time when he loved watching her sleep but he also knew when he'd watched her he'd been thinking of how she would never leave him or try to change him, how she wasn't anything like Viper. Viper was always at the back of his mind, almost as if she were taunting him. Sometimes he felt if he ever saw that conniving self serving Viper again he'd decapitate her without a moments hesitation.

Now he stood up and as he reached for his pants the door opened. Victor and Ororo were standing there arm in arm.

"I told you not to disturb him," Ororo chided softly wanting to shut the door and forget the sight before her.

"He don't care. Come on, Ro, it ain't like you never seen him in the raw before. Look at that little dick."

Logan shoved his legs into his pants paying no attention to them. He knew he was bright red even though he wasn't the type to blush. He was glad the room was dark but he still felt like killing Victor. Then he'd take the spoils – Ororo.

"What do you want?" he asked as he buttoned his jeans up.

"We're leavin'. Everyone's leavin'," Victor said.

"Yeah?"

"You ain't even gonna thank me an' Ro, Lo?"

"For what? What do I have to be thankful for?"

"We better go," Ororo urged but Victor ignored her.

"Oh . . . oh, Logan! What's Victor doing here?" Jean spoke groggily as she woke up.

"We didn't mean to disturb you," Ororo said. "We were just leaving."

"Oh, please don't go – not yet. I didn't get a chance to thank you, Ororo."

"It was my pleasure," Ororo said though when she looked at Logan she felt as if she'd done something wrong.

"I told you he'd love a surprise party didn't I?" Jean laughed. "And guess what?"

Ororo didn't care to guess anything but she played along and said, "What?"

"We're getting married! He asked me tonight! Isn't that wonderful? And you can be one of my bridesmaid – we haven't set a date but . . ." her words trailed off as a yawn left her mouth. She stretched languidly causing the sheet to fall exposing her generous bosom and she did nothing to hide them.

Logan strode past the two in the doorway and went into the living room. Ororo followed but Victor took in the sight of Jean's pert breasts enjoying the picture she made, naked and still inebriated.

"Aren't you going to congratulate me, Victor?" Jean purred knowing he was admiring her. It gave her a feeling of power to have drawn his attention for once and she was enjoying it.

"Yeah. Congrats."

"I get the feeling this wasn't what you wanted," Ororo said softly as she caught up with Logan.

"Do you now." It wasn't a question.

Victor shut the door to Logan's bedroom with a sigh. Jean had one hell of a body. He'd never thought so before, a little too small for his taste, but seeing her like that, not even concerned that she was naked in front of him made him want her. He pushed the desire aside though it was harder than he'd expected. Jean really wasn't his type and from what Logan had told him over the years Victor figured she wasn't that good in bed either.

Once he'd even asked Logan why he stayed with her if she'd become so controlling, doling out sex like a reward whenever he did what she wanted. Logan had replied that she wasn't Viper and that was good enough for him, he didn't need another Viper and he didn't want to feel intensely again like he had for Mariko, that had hurt too much I the end. It had boiled down to wanting a woman who never asked for anything more than what she got even if she was stingy with her favors as the years wore on. End the end dumping Jean and moving on to something else became too risky. Vic knew Logan figured with his luck he'd get someone twice as worse as Jean and ten times as worse as Viper so it just wasn't worth it.

Victor felt almost the same way about Ororo except in reverse. If he ever got rid of Ororo he knew he wouldn't find anyone else like her. She was so good to him, not only in bed where she kept him from thinking about other women, but also in every other way. But what he liked most about Ororo was her uninhibited sensual nature and that's what Jean had just reminded him of when she looked at him sticking her chest out for him to enjoy. But he couldn't go there and he wouldn't. So as he put Jean out of his head he glanced around the room. There had been a lot of good looking women there, Jean's sister was hot though not as hot as Jean and that hot looking Chinese chick that was all over Logan would be fun to fool around with. She was little but tight and it had been a long time since he'd had any one that young.

"He's not going to be faithful to you," Logan said when he saw Victor staring at Jubilee.

Everyone but the Lee's and Jean's parents and sister had left and they were picking up trash and trying to straighten the place up before going. Logan thought if Victor tried anything with Jubilee he'd kill him. The girl had barely turned eighteen. And there Vic was sidling up to her holding a trash bag out trying to act like he was eager to help.

Ororo's eyes followed the direction Logan was looking in. Surely the girl was too young for Victor even if she was young and firm and nubile. For the first time Ororo felt fear in her heart. Logan knew Victor better than she could ever know him and suddenly she had an ominous feeling that Logan was right. In that moment she hated Logan. She was angry that he would tell her something like that and she was angry that he had left the party to screw Jean and so she walked away from him without replying. She didn't know if he was trying to help her or upset her. Why would he want to hurt her though? Was he that bitter about her helping Jean? And who was he to warn her when he didn't know what he was doing marrying Jean when he didn't even love her?

She had seen the look of fake happiness he'd pulled when they had successfully surprised him and she'd caught the frown of annoyance that had flashed just for a second when Jean had jumped at him even though Jubilee was already hugging him, the child not realizing she should have waited for Jean to greet him first. Logan had never mentioned Jean or acted as if he had a girlfriend. Still, when Jean and Logan had gone into the bedroom she had assumed they were all right though she had thought it rude. Now she wasn't so sure. She wasn't sure Logan and Jean were all right any more than she was sure of herself.

She knew nothing about Logan except for what Jean and Victor had told her. Jean had laughingly told her Logan had wanted to sleep with her the night he'd met her but he felt that way with all of Victor's women and Jean didn't hold it against Ororo. Ororo hadn't believed that. What woman could blow something like that off lightly even if it wasn't the truth? To Ororo Logan had been nothing but a gentleman and if he'd wanted to sleep with her he wouldn't have been so shy about playing strip poker with them or that time when they'd been alone and he was completely naked in Victor's bathroom.

What she'd come to know about Logan was that he was a good man, honorable, decent. She knew he cared for her but she didn't think he had lusted after her from day one. Even if he had Ororo couldn't think less of him. Not only did she care for him and more than she knew she should but Victor and Logan cared about each other. They would never admit it but neither would they ever do anything to destroy their friendship. She knew that despite their friendship seemed peculiar, the crude tall giant best friends with the silent short little man. It was a wonder that they tolerated each other as they did.

She knew Victor had a begrudging respect for the 'runt'. From what she'd gathered from Victor Logan was a good man trapped in a relationship he didn't know how to get out of because he didn't want to go through anything remotely like what had happened between him and Viper and Mariko. Ororo thought he was afraid to trust in love and she felt sorry for him, had hoped that Jean's genuine attempt to surprise him would show him how loved he was. Now she thought that maybe what Jean felt for Logan wasn't pure like love should be because anything pure wouldn't seem so tainted. Yet she was the last person to judge those who claimed to be in love.

She saw Victor leering at Jubilee, something that never would have bothered her before and she felt the truth of Logan's words sinking into her heart. They were all too mixed up to be acting as if they had any sense she thought. She was the worse of them all because she wanted Victor _and_ Logan or at least she didn't want Logan to marry Jean. She enjoyed his friendship even though it was just beginning. She didn't want to let Logan go and yet she knew she couldn't hold him. She also knew Victor would always ogle women but never had she once thought she couldn't keep him, that she had cause to be jealous.

"And neither is your fiancée going to be faithful," Ororo thought to herself angrily. Anger caused by her own guilt and yes, the jealousy that she felt towards Jean.

Victor was making a scene, laughing and talking too loudly with Jubilee just as if he were as young and carefree as she was. Ororo saw they weren't really getting anything done. Now he was flexing his muscles letting her touch his biceps. Was Logan right? Surely not. She was sure he couldn't be. Victor was happy with her. She gave him everything and took nothing in return. What he wanted she gave and she gave unselfishly and wholeheartedly because that was who she was. She had never met anyone like Victor before. He was crude and crass but he was sincere and honest too and the most important thing – he had a good heart. She'd decided after too many bad relationships that she didn't need a man with a degree or money like her first two boyfriends, the Native American Indian and the prince from Africa. All she wanted was a man with a good heart. She thought Logan had a good heart too only it had broken and mended poorly. She wished she could tell Jean how to help him.

"I'm not old enough to drink yet," Jubilee was giggling when Ororo approached them.

"No kidding, you sure look mature for your age," Victor assured her.

"Do I? Thanks, Victor."

"Did you want to go or stay and help clean up?" Ororo asked, more direct than she usually was.

"Um. Let's go, baby. Yo, Lo, see you 'round."

But Logan didn't respond. He walked up to Jubilee who was watching Victor as he and Ororo walked to the door.

"He's bad news, darlin'," Logan hissed. "Don't even go there."

"What? I was just watching his cute butt."

"That's disgusting."

"Like you weren't watching hers!"

"I wasn't!"

"You said that way too fast."

"I want you to understand what I'm saying to you, Jube's. He's trouble. Vic ain't the kind of man you need or want."

"And he's your age – too old for me. Right! I've heard it all before," she said with a frown. "You're too old for me, he's too old for me, everyone's too old for little baby Jubilee."

"You just turned eighteen a month ago can't you take it slow? What's with all you kids today wanting to rush into sex and stuff you ain't even prepared for? You wanna get knocked up like these other little girls out here? You wanna be strapped down with a baby at your age?"

"I wasn't even thinking about sleeping with the guy, Logan!"

"Sssh! Keep your voice down. What if your parents heard you?"

"They didn't."

"Just make sure they don't and you don't then I won't have to do something you don't want me to."

"Like what?"

"Like put a hurting on his ancient ass for trying to mess with a kid, darlin'."

Jubilee couldn't help but laugh. She hugged him lightly. "You're the best, Logan, even if you think you are too old for me," she whispered before she went over to her parents. Neither had been aware that Jean was watching them from the doorway, once again dressed in her skimpy black dress.

"You want to sleep with her too?" Jean asked when the apartment was empty of all but her and Logan.

Oh no. More trouble. Hadn't he given her candy and flowers and put up with the stupid surprise party without one complaint? He hadn't done anything he shouldn't have done and he'd even had sex with her like she'd wanted. Now she wanted to accuse him of wanting a kid who was barely legal?

"Where're you going?" she cried when he went to the small closet in the living room and pulled his leather jacket out.

"Anywhere but here."

"Oh, Logan! You can't go!"

"Watch me."

"But it's our anniversary! And this is your apartment!"

His apartment? Right. She'd been fixing it up for seven years now, steadily encroaching on his territory. Maybe she didn't store her tampons there but that was because he was adamant about that. Nevertheless she'd practically moved in over the last few years. He hadn't given it much thought since he spent most nights at her place but now as he looked around he saw an unfamiliar apartment, girlier than anything he'd ever had or wanted. All of a sudden he realized this was her way of holding onto him. Now looking at his angry fiancée, and he couldn't help but groan at his rash drunken proposal, he knew he was trapped and if he didn't do something now he'd always be trapped.

"I think maybe I said something earlier you misunderstood, Jeanie. I didn't mean we should get married, I was drunk an' just thinkin' out loud is all."

"What? What did you say?"

"Look, I'm . . . I'm real sorry, Jean but it ain't a good idea – you an' me gettin' together like that."

"You asked me and now you better marry me, James Logan Howlett! You're supposed to be a man of your word and a man of honor and loyalty and dedication and if you turn your back on me now that means you're nothing like that at all just a farce, just some pretender and an asshole!"

Was she right? Was he supposed to give up his happiness for hers, for honor? He didn't know.

"Don't you leave before we finish discussing this!"

"I'm finished, Jean," he said and he walked out not knowing where he was going.

**A/N** – I want to thank those who reviewed because I really didn't like the last chapter, thought it was way too long and preachy but it had to be said. So thanks much!


	14. A Narrow Escape

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin**

**Chapter Fourteen – A Narrow Escape**

**A/N – **Short chapter but next one up in a few days hopefully. Enjoy and thanks again to all that reviewed, it means a lot.

He remembered he'd never opened the little box Ororo had given him. He could see the little package now with it's plain white paper with a hint of shine to it wrapped with the same silver string that made a delicate silver bow on top. He wondered what she'd given him as he climbed the three flights of stairs to Victor's apartment. He'd known even as he'd made his way there that it was the wrong thing to do but he had reasoned with himself telling himself maybe Ororo hadn't gone back with Victor, maybe she had a flight and would be spending the night at her own place.

After the disastrous anniversary party Logan had first gone to Cain Marko's hoping to spend the night there but Cain had been occupied with the two women he'd escorted to Logan's party not to mention he was jetting to Scotland the next day on business. Though Marko had been generous enough to invite him to stay Logan hadn't wanted to intrude. After a few drinks, well, more than a few, having no where else to go he'd ended up at Victor's.

Still feeling a good buzz he pulled out his keys and fumbled for the spare he kept to Victor's place. His trembling hands lost hold and they fell to the floor with a rattling thud. The door flung open just as he was stooping down to retrieve the keys.

"Victor?" Ororo said before she saw Logan looking up from where he crouched, his fingertips resting on his keys. His eyes traveled up the long toned legs until he was staring straight into a white nest of gentle curls and he fell back onto the floor where he sat and gawked at the full beauty of her lower body.

Slightly confused as to why Logan was there Ororo pulled at the short kimono that she'd barely tied in place in her eagerness to open the door.

"I thought you were Victor. Is he downstairs?"

He shook his head and lowered his eyes and turned his head away respectfully not daring to look at those incredibly long legs of hers.

"What're you doing down there?" she asked with a touch of frustration.

"I lost my – I mean I dropped my keys."

"You men – you're driving me crazy," she moaned.

He felt her slender hands grasp him by his forearms, felt her try to pull him up but he didn't want to move and he wouldn't budge. He just wanted to sit there and look at her and listen to her voice with the soft accent he loved. He grinned up at her forgetting how miserable his life was.

"Logan?" Her hands rested against his cheeks filling his cool wind burnt flesh with warmth as she made him look at her. "What's wrong?"

He could only peer into the magnificent blue pools feeling as if they would swallow him whole.

"Come on, get up. You have to help me, you're too heavy! Don't you know alcohol can kill you if you drink enough? No one has a healing factor that can handle that," she babbled a little irritably as she tugged at him.

Still he made no effort to rise. He should never have gone there and he knew it.

"Fine, stay there all night if you want. I'm not going to stand here trying to help you if you don't want my help," she declared and thrust his arms from her.

She started to turn around and go inside when she had second thoughts about letting him drive home drunk so she stooped down and captured his keys in her fist.

"But you're not driving anywhere either," she said with satisfaction.

She was getting ready to stand up when she felt his large calloused hand on her leg as if he meant to stop her. When she looked at him he dropped his hand and pulled himself up using the door frame to help steady himself. She went back inside tossing the keys on the bed.

Logan reluctantly moved inside closing the door behind him. Before his eyes could adjust to the dark she turned on a lamp effectively blinding him for a second before his eyes adjusted. She'd never gotten matching lamps like Jean would have he noted as he looked around hoping vainly that Vic really was there. He wasn't and Logan told himself to turn around and leave but he didn't make a move.

"Lock the door if you're staying," she told him and he turned to obey her.

In the meantime she went into the bathroom and returned with a set of folded sheets over one arm. She grabbed one of the many pillows from Victor's bed and pushed the entire lot into Logan's arms. He held onto the bedding blinking blankly at her and she wondered what he was thinking and why he was really there, a little voice in the back of her head telling her it was because of her.

"Logan, I'm – I'm sorry about tonight. I thought . . . I – I just didn't know."

"Huh?"

"I thought you and Jean – I didn't know you wouldn't like it – the surprise party."

"Yeah, well . . ." His words trailed off.

He hesitated to go on. He hadn't appreciated that she'd gone behind his back hanging out with his girlfriend making plans he didn't care for. But seeing how sorry she looked he didn't have the heart to complain. Instead he nodded curtly and said,

"Like you said you didn't know – no harm done I guess."

"You didn't stay."

"It didn't work out."

"Oh." She felt even worse because his words had sent a rush of joy through her.

"Yeah, well that's life."

"I just thought – well it doesn't matter now. I've got an early flight tomorrow, I should be sleeping," she said with a soft sigh.

"'Roro, wait." His hand groped for hers as the sheets and pillow fell to the floor and then he was pulling her to him. "You got nothin' to be sorry for," he said gruffly.

For a moment she leaned into him but then she smiled sadly at him. "Do you know where he is?" she asked.

The pained expression on her lovely face tugged at his heart.

"I thought he was with you."

"He left."

"What? Is he crazy or something?"

He could tell by the way she stared at him that he'd said too much. She moved away from him feeling uncomfortable. She walked around the table and chairs her mind full of questions. She stopped in front of the window facing the balcony walkway. She looked out into the dark night and wondered where Victor was and what to do with Logan. Having him there alone as they were was unnerving. Why did she have to feel such a connection with him? When she turned back to him she caught her breath. He had come up to her so quietly she hadn't noticed.

"He – he said he was going out. I thought he was meeting you – that you'd be together. Where would Victor go if he wasn't with you?" she asked, her voice catching as if she were on the verge of tears.

"Hey, darlin' don't cry!" Logan said feeling helpless.

She brushed at a stray tear and glared at him. "I'm not crying!" she said, her voice grim and defiant but another tear slid down and then another followed.

Logan pulled her back into his arms again and pressed a hand to the back of her head allowing her head to rest comfortably on his shoulder. She was a few inches taller than him without shoes but they fit together perfectly.

"Why would he leave in the middle of the night like this?" she asked.

Both of them remembered Logan's earlier words of warning. Was he with another woman now? But Logan didn't know. Realistically while Logan had been planning on the day Victor got tired of Ororo he'd known that probably wasn't going to happen unless Victor screwed up big time, like now, and Ororo left him. He remembered how Victor was flirting with Jubilee but despite the anger the memory roused Logan knew Victor wouldn't have tried anything like that but where he was now Logan didn't know and so he had no reassuring words of comfort for her. Victor had to be even crazier than Logan thought to just up and leave the best woman he'd ever had like this.

"Look, don't cry, 'Roro, he'll be back, probably just went to get some beer is all," he whispered trying to sooth her. He caressed her soft hair and kissed a patch gently. "Don't cry," he repeated softly covering her hair with kisses only wanting to eliminate any worries she had but the kiss that landed against the side of her neck sent a chill through her.

His lips were soft and moist, his breath hot and thrilling against her skin. He heard her gasp in either surprise of pleasure, which he wasn't sure but before he could determine what he should do or say she was pushing out of his arms.

"You're so sweet," she whispered and sniffed. She wiped at her face and while sniffing like a little girl smiled sheepishly at him. "You're a good friend to both of us. I appreciate that, you don't know how much."

There couldn't be a worse friend on the planet he thought feeling as if he'd betrayed Victor with that one stray kiss.

Ororo began to move around nervously. She found a box of tissues near the bed and picked up his keys then laid them down again and dabbed at her face with the tissue before crumpling it. Next she took his keys and went into the bathroom. To Logan she was acting much as she had the last time they'd been alone waiting for Victor. He thought to go to her but it wasn't to offer comforting words now. He wanted to carry her to the bed and make love to her. Still feeling the effects of the alcohol he brushed aside any lingering thoughts of Victor and started towards her fully intending on taking her to bed but when she came out of the bathroom almost bumping into him she looked so forlorn that even inebriated as he was he couldn't make another move.

"I'm tired," she said stepping past him still trying to get her emotions in order.

Logan was drunk but she wasn't. There wasn't any excuse for her she thought. And yet she couldn't send him home that way. And always there was the thought of Jean waiting for him. No, she wouldn't send him home. She didn't want him to have to deal with Jean tonight but more than that she wanted him there. She felt him behind her as she moved to pick up the sheets and pillow he'd dropped so she wasn't surprised when he reached out to help her. She smiled at him before she rose and went to the bed leaving him to pick them up himself.

She didn't want to be close to him again. She wouldn't let herself forget what mattered. Oddly enough she missed Victor. He was always like an anchor for her, always righting the mixed up feelings she felt towards Logan. She wished Logan had never come but there was nothing she could do now. She felt anger growing inside her towards Victor and wished he'd grow up. Deserting her in a fit, starting an argument for whatever reason and leaving her to do who knew what was childish. If he had only had a beer and played a game or watched some TV then he would have been here when Logan came and she and Logan wouldn't be feeling things they shouldn't be feeling and everything would be alright.

"Can you sleep on the floor alright?" she asked as he put the linens on the table.

He looked at her as if he hadn't understood and then he realized she meant for him to sleep on the hard floor and not with her. His mind reeled; that had been the last place he'd been thinking about sleeping not when she was wearing nothing but that short robe, so short he could see a hint of her buttocks when she walked. But before he could reply she was putting his keys under her pillow with almost an apologetic smile and climbing into the big bed.

He watched her get under the covers pulling them up to her chin then clasping her hands on her chest. She smiled the same serene smile he'd fallen for the first day he'd met her and then she turned off the tall light that stood beside the bed and darkness settled over them. He swallowed hard then threw himself down on the bean bag and waited for sleep to come, the bedding forgotten. But sleep didn't come to either him or Ororo. It was quiet in the darkness save for their breathing only for a short time and then the sound of a helicopter droned overhead followed by a siren shrieking nearby.

The night wore on withshouts fromneighbors periodically and later a dull beat vibrated from the floor above as someone played rap music, the bass set as high as it could go unmindful of the late hour. But even when the noises quieted sleep failed to come. Sobriety returning Logan vowedhe'dnever let thathappen again. Ororo tried to think of anything else, her mind constantly returning to Victor, always her anchor. Where was he? What was he doing? What would he think when he came back especially with Logan there? And why wasn't he there when she needed him? But always her thoughts and Logan'skept returning to the same thing, two simple embraces and one innocent kiss. How narrow their escape had been.


	15. Sleepless in Cali

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin**

**Chapter Fifteen – Sleepless in Cali**

"I didn't accuse you an' the runt of screwin' around behind my back! He ain't got the balls for somethin' like that."

Victor's harsh words were the first thing Logan heard when he woke up the next morning.

"I asked a question. I made no accusations. You told me you were with Cain last night. You volunteered that. I wasn't implying anything," was Ororo's cool reply.

"Marko don't share his women no way."

Logan coughed. He knew Marko did, and had in fact, invited Logan to join him and his two friends for a little fun last night though Logan had declined. Was that where Victor had been? He hoped not. Ororo didn't deserve that.

"I'll get some coffee – for both of you," Ororo said and just like that, much to Logan's surprise, the fight was over.

Logan stirred then threw a sheet off of him. He guessed she'd covered him during the night. He sat up and immediately wished he hadn't. His head was throbbing and his stomach felt queasy. He didn't want to get up but he didn't want to be in the way either. While Victor started a game on his PS2 Logan looked around at the changes Ororo had made since he'd been there last. He remembered the stray thought about matching lamps last night but now he noticed a medium sized fichus tree had been added along with several plants with trailing leaves kind of making it homier in a way he thought. He wondered why he hadn't noticed all the plants last night but then he remembered he'd only had eyes for the naked goddess.

Thoughts of the way she'd answered the door in that cute little robe were causing more damage to his body than the hangover. He tried to think about something else as he pulled the sheet into his lap. He looked around again. Victor was lost in his game, the noises coming from it loud and obnoxious to Logan's sensitive ears so early in the morning. He could see Ororo moving around in the kitchen but he didn't want to think about her. He needed a moment to collect himself before he could flee.

After a while he continued his observations about the changes Ororo had made, it served to keep him from thinking about her in that illegally short robe. The place was still simple and nothing feminine about it and everything was clean and neat – all big improvements from how the place used to look before she'd arrived. Except for the plants nothing else had been added or removed which Logan was thankful for since he favored the bean bag and had slept on it more than he could remember. Jean would have tossed the bean bag the first day she'd gotten a glimpse of it. He wondered why Ororo didn't have the same urges. He'd thought all women did basically.

"Vic, man turn the noise down, will you?" Logan asked, annoyed with himself for not being able to stop thinking about Ororo and being stupid enough to get drunk last night and he was annoyed with Victor for being there.

"You an' your ol' lady have a fight?" Victor asked as looked up from his game momentarily, volume untouched.

"Yeah. You an' 'Roro have one while I was out of it?"

"Nah. She don't never wanna fight. Sometimes you gotta have a little fire mixed into things but she ain't like that. Guess I should be thankful," he said looking back at Ororo who he could see puttering around in the kitchen. He looked away quickly and returned to his game.

"She's one of a kind," Logan murmured.

"Dude, don't I know it."

"So where were you last night?" Logan asked, again keeping his voice low.

"Out."

"When you'd get back? Thought I would've heard you."

"Late."

"Must've been real late as late as I got here."

"What the . . . ? You sound just like Ro drillin' me with fifty million questions like I was a kid or somethin' – I was out so what the . . ." he glanced towards the kitchen but Ororo appeared not to have heard them.

"I was just askin', Vic. She was worried about you."

Victor was silent for a moment. He almost forgot his game as he seemed to struggle with some inner demon within himself. Then he snarled,

"She oughta get used to it – Victor Creed don't answer to no woman an' never will."

Every word they'd spoken Ororo had heard though she had given no indication. Victor's comment about Cain not sharing his women had stayed on her mind as she'd made coffee and listened in on their conversation. She wondered what had made him say something like that out of the blue. And did he really think he could treat her so callously? Leaving in the middle of the night without explanation and whenever he felt like it expecting her to get used to it?

His words cut through her like a sword, sharp and cruel and nothing she did to keep herself busy could staunch the pain she felt. As she poured two cups of coffee for the men and made breakfast for the men she laughed dryly at how she'd described them to Anna – her boys. They were both acting like they needed to be potty trained. Logan low-key and so sweet but what was that last night? Why was he trying to tempt her? And then there was Victor – actually a good nice man but so lost in his macho world he probably wasn't going to change. They really were little boys.

She knew what she felt towards Logan, a man she barely knew, were crazy mixed up emotions that were best left alone but Victor – Victor she saw in a clearer light and it wasn't nice. He wasn't evil or cruel, at least not intentionally but he was not the man she'd thought he was or could be given the love and attention he so obviously needed and love that she'd wanted to give him. She'd thought they had something good going on. Oh, sure it was based on sheer animal magnetism but she'd truly come to care for him, had even thought a little of having some type of future with him.

Though it was Anna who had first triggered the thought it wasn't altogether unreasonable with the amount of time they'd been spending together. They enjoyed each others company, couldn't keep their hands off of each other and they accepted each other as they were. What more could anyone really ask for?

Maybe some chemistry, she thought, answering her own question. A spark, a type of unfathomable romantic bond like the unspoken tie she felt she shared with Logan. Only one time before had she felt such a thing but it wasn't meant to be then. She'd thought she'd never feel something like that again. But what was it really? A feeling? A gut instinct? Animal magnetism just less subtle? Because she couldn't fool herself after last night, ever since she'd been wondering what it would be like to make love to Logan. Was she that much of a sex addict?

Maybe she needed to be locked up for the good of humanity she mused as she thought of Anna's brother Kurt. A devout Catholic, he would surely advise the use of a chastity belt since she couldn't control her urges. But who was he to judge? She sighed as she realized she was arguing with herself. Kurt had never judged her, lectured her but never judged her.

She was judging herself. She knew she was addicted to the sex with Victor. That was a fact she could barely escape from. Sex was good, was wonderful as long as you took the proper precautions. He would say you needn't bother with proper precautions if you were married. Marriage had been the last thing on her mind and yet she hadn't expected their relationship to evolve as it had. She'd begun to feel as if they were on the cusp of something wonderful maybe even permanent but he was being selfish and inconsiderate as if he it wasn't anything worthwhile or anything more than the casual affair they had started. She'd never hoped to change him but like a diamond in the rough she'd hoped to make him shine, to bring out his good side. Now she wondered if she should even try and if she did try would she be hurt like Logan seemed to think she would?

When she brought the coffee mugs out Logan was able to get up without looking foolish. He declined the coffee and announced he'd intruded enough and would be on his way.

"So where ya goin' – back to your place?" Victor asked, with a laugh.

Logan stopped a few feet from the door. He could see Jean waiting for him. Since it was the weekend and she'd have nothing better to do. He wished Victor hadn't said anything.

"You can shower here if you like," Ororo offered.

He didn't want to. He knew he should turn around and get out of there and not go back but knowing and doing aren't always easy to combine.

"Yeah, stay," Victor said with a shrug.

And so he did. He gave Ororo a lopsided grin as if to apologize for the inconvenience but he knew there wasn't a drop of sorry in him. Without looking at her again he went to take a shower. He needed a long cold one. Maybe that would tame the inferno within him and wake him up, bring him back to his senses. He wasn't drunk now, a little hung over, but he was still thinking about being with Ororo, hoping Victor got it in his head to run off somewhere again.

But when he came out he didn't see Ororo anywhere in the small apartment. He settled down on the beanbag feeling irritable wondering what his next move should be. He needed a change of clothes. He wasn't going to run around in Victor's hand me downs. He needed to call Jean, see where she was, what she was thinking, get some idea if she was going to pull a Raven or get even crazier and pull a Viper. Once he got that taken care of he could deal with Victor. Now if that wasn't reason enough to get his keys and get out of there nothing else was but still he didn't leave. In fact, Logan stayed the entire weekend.

One reason he'd stayed was that Ororo was working. She'd left that morning before he could say goodbye and wasn't due back until Sunday night. At first he'd been disappointed and thought to wait for her but as the weekend progressed he'd come to see what he was doing was wrong. He couldn't just steal Victor's girl right under the man's nose. It was as if common sense had deserted him the night of the anniversary party but now he was thinking clearly. He figured he'd head back to his place before she came back but when Victor, still in sitting in front of his television playing Grand Theft Auto now, looked like he was finished with the game Logan suddenly was reluctant to move.

"Gonna get those Lazy Boy's you wanna come?"

Loaded question, Logan thought.

"Isn't 'Roro getting back tonight?"

"So? She's got her own place, she don't live here," Victor said, and he got up, grabbed his leather jacket and left without waiting for Logan.

It's true that Logan could have followed him and knew he should have instead, even knowing what he was doing was wrong, he simply didn't. He got up, shut the door then sat down in the chair Victor had just vacated. The old Clash song kept played in his head over and over – should I go or should I stay now? He knew he was playing with fire though he told himself he could handle it. He had a good reason for staying, avoiding Jean especially if she went crazy on him. Seemed he had a better reason for leaving though. But the thought of seeing Ororo again was too strong for him to ignore. Maybe he'd stay just to tell her where Victor was and then he'd leave after all that wouldn't be so bad he decided. Just stay a minute to say hi, make her smile a little. He wasn't so dishonorable or disloyal that it would be anything more than that. He'd just make her feel better after working all weekend. She had to be tired he figured.

He had to shake himself then; his imagination was running away on him. For a minute there he'd seen himself massaging her, working the kinks out of her shoulders. He knew he should go and this time he got up and reached for his own jacket. He locked the door behind him and headed downstairs. Once on his bike he sat there. He sat there for a long time trying to convince himself to do the right thing. He sat there so long Ororo pulled up in her environmentally correct little car and he felt the weight lift off his heart and couldn't keep from grinning.

"Going or coming?" Ororo asked when she stood beside him on the sidewalk.

Good question, fair one too but Logan was still undecided.

"Thought you'd want to know Vic ain't here," he said instead.

"Oh?"

He saw the look of surprise that she tired to hide.

"I, well I should probably go home," Ororo said though she didn't want to.

He sat on his bike watching her and she looked around at the little bit of lawn in front of the apartment building. He saw her wave and looking around her he saw that little sickly looking boy running in the courtyard. He couldn't help but think of the time they'd all played in the rain and remembering that he lifted a leg over the bike and came to stand beside her.

He almost hoped when she left her car wouldn't start so he could stay and help her but it was a new car and he knew that wasn't going to happen.

"So what were you boys up to while I was gone?" Ororo asked.

"The usual – Vic played games all weekend – went to get a Lazy Boy about thirty minutes ago."

"Have you . . . uh, called Jean?"

That was the last thing he wanted to talk about – Jean. He looked around the area wondering why she wanted to talk about his ex-girlfriend and blatantly ignored the question. But when he felt Ororo's hand on his forearm he turned back to her involuntarily.

"She seemed as if she really cares for you, Logan. I'm sure . . ."

"I don't want to talk about her," he said, his voice gruffer than usual and she nodded.

"Well we can't just stand outside all night. I'll stop by later. See you," she laughed and headed back to her car and he had no choice but to go.

He felt an immediate let down and had no choice but to leave now. When he saw her car lights in his side mirrors and wondered where she was going but their paths diverged a few blocks later. He ended up at Harry's.

Meanwhile Victor was ordering a store clerk around specifying how and when he wanted his two Lazy Boy's to be delivered. He dreaded going home. It was actually the very first time since he'd started seeing Ororo that he'd hated the thought of going back home.

It wasn't because of Ororo, not really. In a way it was but mostly he didn't want to go back because he felt guilty. He didn't like feeling guilty. It wasn't a natural emotion for him but there it was like a great big ol' eye staring at him, something he couldn't get rid of. He hadn't meant to screw around on Ororo and in all honesty he'd tried not to but when he'd gone home with her remembering all the available women that he couldn't talk to or try something with he'd found himself yelling stupidly at Ororo for nothing at all.

He'd blamed her for taking everything he loved about his life away from him even while he knew she'd given him so much more than he'd ever expected and probably would never have with any other woman. Part of him wanted to be free and roam like he'd always done, even when he was in the one serious relationship he'd had before. But with Ororo he knew she wouldn't put up with him straying and the thought of never being able to be with a variety of women again had angered him. It meant he was whipped, just like he teased Logan – whipped, hog tied, suckered into a life just like any other Joe, something he'd vowed would never happen to him.

Being with Ororo that night had left him feeling trapped. He'd never wanted anything but to break her reserve, to get her in bed and have some fun but things had changed some how and he wasn't happy about it. He'd never asked to care about her, never expected it and didn't want to. He wanted to sleep with any woman he saw, wanted to but didn't. And there it was. He'd flirted with that young frail but it wasn't anything like he would have done before Ororo. He hadn't wanted to go back to sleep with her and he didn't. He'd gone out, had way too many shots and ended up in the wrong bed. He didn't even want to think about it again. He wished he'd never gone there, never been that weak or stupid and he wished Ororo hadn't been so pretty and sweet and accepting. A real woman would've been yelling and screaming and throwing things at him which would've made him feel justified in what he'd done. But not Ororo. She asked where he was, accepted his round about answer and the discussion was over. That wasn't right.

It left him filled with guilt and anger and some resentment which he took out royally on the poor service person. He hoped she was there when he got back but then he'd immediately changed his mind. He didn't know how to look at her without feeling like he'd done something wrong. How was a man supposed to put up with that? What he really wanted, and he knew it, was to see her and make love to her. It shouldn't be that hard really but every time he thought about it there wasn't any passion in him at all and that was a scary thing in itself. When he couldn't get it up it meant the world had to be ending!

That night when he pulled up and Ororo's car wasn't out front he felt all his unacknowledged hopes come crashing down. By the time he got to the courtyard he was fuming. If she didn't want to see him he wasn't going to let it bother him at all he told himself. By time he'd unlocked his door he slammed it shut as hard as he could growling and muttering to himself as he got a beer from the fridge and sat down on his bed. Twisting the cap off he downed the beer in two swallows then threw it across the room.

Who did she think she was anyway? Accusing him of sleeping with someone when it was practically her fault he had? She shouldn't be so – just shouldn't be the way she was. And he didn't need her, he thought. She wasn't his type, too much of a goody two shoes for his taste. Screw it and her! Thought she was too good to show up well he'd show her he didn't care he thought angrily as he grabbed another beer from the fridge.

By time Victor had finished a six pack he was slumped in front of his huge television screen watching a series of shows in two second segments as he sped through the channels. After awhile the sight of some half naked women shaking their bodies like they were auditioning for Xavier's strip joint caught his eye so he paused to leer a moment but then his mind drifted and with the controller hanging limply in his hand, the TV forgotten, he wondered what Ororo was doing just then. Had she gotten back alright – was she asleep now? He longed to pick up the phone and giver her a call but he refused to and sitting up abruptly, the controller falling into his lap he glared at the screen in front of him not seeing the women shimmying for his attention.

He wasn't going to chase any female. He'd never chased one before and he wasn't going to now. He might have chased her in the beginning but getting the woman wasn't the same thing as chasing one after you had her he thought as he remembered how hard he'd worked those two months trying to get her to go out with him – harder than he'd ever had to work with any other woman too. But she'd been worth it. Anyway up until now, now she'd gotten it in her head to run off in some angry mood. Well, fine then let her!

In his anger he didn't remember that Ororo wasn't angry with him and that she hadn't accused him of anything. By time the six pack was finished he had convinced himself that it wasn't his fault that he'd slept with a woman. Oh no, it was Ororo's. After all if she had a little fight in her, a little fire and wasn't so damn easy going he wouldn't have done what he'd done and he wouldn't feel so damn guilty either – that foreign emotion that was threatening to drive him crazy.

After coming to all these rather biased conclusions he found he wasn't as angry as he had been and that the guilt wouldn't let up. He wished he could take it all back but he knew he couldn't. What he had to do was tell her. He thought it was the right thing to do, confess his stupidity, and yes he could admit it was stupid – confess and hope she'd see he was sorry and didn't want to end it.

"Oh, man! I gotta be getting' soft!" he groaned out loud.

He got up, the remote and a beer bottle falling to the floor, and went to lie down. He just needed to stop thinking is what he needed to do. She was making him into something he didn't want to be and he didn't like it. The thing is he missed her. He missed her and he wanted to see her. His pride fought with this new feeling but pride won and he closed his eyes determined to sleep.

But like the Logan the night before thoughts of Ororo kept him awake. An hour of tossing and turning only made things worse. He could see all the things he'd done wrong and all the things he should have done better. He knew she didn't like Jack in the Box but it was his favorite place so that's all he ate almost. Instead he could have taken her to Sizzler's a little more even if it did cost a lot more. And she liked the beach as much as he did but he liked sitting at home or at the bar but he could've taken her to watch the sunset a few times instead of that once. She'd liked going to all those touristy places and he could've taken her to a few other stupid places, it wouldn't have killed him.

For a long while he saw all his failings with Ororo and it sobered him though he wasn't drunk. And with new understanding he picked up the phone. He dialed her number. He knew it so well after calling her several times a day from work. Her voice was so sexy on the phone and when she gave in and talked dirty to him it was such a turn on. He couldn't wait to get home. He didn't like the thought of never being able to come home and have there for him whether she was in an outfit, her uniform or naked.

"Yo, Vic!" Logan called out as he opened the door as if he lived there too now. "I gotta crash here again tonight, man. The phone kept ringin' and ringin' an' . . . you know how it is."

The only acknowledgement he got from Victor was a growl. Undeterred he set his small duffle bag down beside the bean bag and took his jacket off then tried to make himself comfortable on the bean bag. Once he got in a decent position he noticed the phone in Victor's hand and wondered if he was ordering pizza this late but since he wasn't hungry his thoughts strayed where they always seemed to lately. He wondered what Ororo was doing, if she was sleeping now or maybe she couldn't sleep and if she couldn't maybe she'd come over.

The sound of the door to the bathroom shutting broke his reverie and a frown replaced the almost wistful look that had played over his face earlier. Shutting the bathroom door wasn't a natural thing for Vic to do that is before Ororo came into their lives anyway. Usually he just nudged the door and if it shut fine, if it didn't what was the big deal?

For a long moment Victor stared at his dark reflection in the mirror fronted medicine cabinet. He hadn't turned the light on something Logan noticed as well. He also didn't hear any water or flushing sounds coming from the bathroom. For an instant Logan thought something had happened to Victor in there and he got up but as he approached the door he had a vision of him helping a half naked Victor off the toilet. A little different than carrying the big lug with a hole the size of a fist in his chest.

It was the sound of little sharp beeps that drew Logan nearer. He heard Victor clear his throat and then there was a long bout of silence. He waited, curious what he was doing in there and then he heard the beeping again. Seven beeps. Morris code he wondered and then he realized Victor wasn't trying to communicate through Morris code, he was dialing the phone, he was calling someone. The pizza place down the street maybe? In the John though? Something wasn't right here so Logan stepped a little closer. He heard one lone beep and then again there was a long spell of silence.

"Man, you alright in there?" Logan asked feeling a little silly having to ask.

"I'm in the bathroom, dude!" Victor shouted.

Logan's head twisted slightly to the side, his brows nearly meeting as he frowned in consternation trying to analyzed what Victor was doing with the sounds coming out of the bathroom. And then he realized Victor was in there trying to work up the nerve to call Ororo. He would never have believed it if he hadn't been there himself and even then he still wasn't sure. But soon he could hear Victor mumbling and he put his ear up against the door to listen.

"So, you wanna come over? Yeah, it's late an' all but . . . well, uh, I miss you, baby."

Damn. Logan knew he had to do something but he didn't have a clue as to what. On one hand he wanted to see Ororo but on the other he didn't want her there with Victor. He tried to remember where his loyalty stood but it wasn't easy.

"So, I'll come get you. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I was thinkin' you know maybe you should have a key you know? Yeah. Yeah. You mean a . . . I mean like you know, Ro you're . . . you're the best."

Another beep and Logan realized Victor had hung up so he darted back to the bean bag quickly falling down onto it right before Victor came out.

"You want it it's all yours – don't got no spray though," Victor said now with a chortle.

Logan said nothing. Victor turned the light on and started picking up beer bottles. He was wondering if he had to tell Ororo anything. If he just didn't think about it it would be like it hadn't happened at all and maybe he'd feel better. He was thinking about taking her out to the beach tonight but he didn't know if she'd mind how cool it would be on the waterfront at night.

And all while he was picking up beer bottles and pieces of glass and dirty socks Logan watched in stunned disbelief. And then, as if she'd sped through the streets like Jeff Gordon, she was knocking at the door. Fast little knocks as if she was anxious to see him, Victor. Logan got up to answer the door because Victor was always too lazy to answer it if Logan was there but Victor was there before Logan took a step.

And there she was, her hair in a high ponytail wearing a white t-shirt that looked too little on her and a jean mini skirt with a split up one thigh. She had on a pair of blue stiletto sandals that matched her skirt and there was her constant companion, her carry on luggage. She was trying not to smile but Victor had her in his arms and was actually kissing her and after the long kiss Logan heard her laugh and then she was being swung in Victor's arms into the apartment then placed down in the middle of the room.

"Um, yo, Lo bro you leavin'?" Victor asked when he saw Logan staring at them.

"No."

"You know we got plan, me an' Ro. Maybe go for a drive," Victor said as he gave Logan an angry look.

Logan looked from Victor to Ororo. Victor obviously expected him to leave. Ororo looked surprised to see him there even a little embarrassed.

"Yeah, I'll see you at work," Logan said.

"Yeah, whatever."

A few choice words came to Logan but he kept quiet. Victor went into the kitchen and they heard him rustling through the refrigerator. Logan looked at Ororo so fiercely she thought he was angry with her but he picked up his duffle bag and moved past her to get to the door. But before he made it to the door he turned around and stood there looking at her as if he were debating whether or not to say something.

"How've you been?" he asked.

"Good. And you?" she replied.

"I'm livin'."

The conversation was cut short when Victor came back into the room. He had two beers in his hand and he handed one to Ororo who took it despite the look of surprise she gave it and him. Logan wondered why Victor didn't know she disliked beer or at least didn't drink it. Then she did something he hadn't expected. She handed the bottle to him. He hesitated just a second before taking it then smirked at Victor as he twisted the cap off. Looked to him as if Ororo wanted him to stay and he decided right then and there that was exactly what he was going to do as he headed to the kitchen to toss the cap in the trash.

**A/N** – Thank you so much to those who reviewed:D


	16. Menage a Trios

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin**

**Chapter Sixteen – Ménage a Trios **

"This isn't going to work", Ororo murmured to herself long after the evening had ended and she and Victor were in bed.

One beer had turned into a six pack a piece and no amount of yawning on her part had encouraged Logan to leave. She'd wavered between packing up her things and going home or trying to out last Logan. In the end she didn't need to pretend to be tired, she had to fight to stay awake. The later it got, as exhausted as she was after flying in from New York, the thought of driving home became less and less appealing. Eventually she'd left the men to their alcohol and TV, taken a quick shower, thrown on one of Vic's t-shirts and then went to bed.

That should have been a strong enough hint however it was taken the wrong way and by the wrong person. Victor had quickly ditched his clothes leaving Logan sitting in front of the TV to finish his last beer. If Ororo hadn't already been angry she might have laughed at Victor hurrying to get at her but she had nursed her anger all evening so that when he climbed in next to her she turned unusually vindictive. Normally she was easy going and undemanding but Logan had become a sore spot for reasons she didn't like to admit and so she had rebuffed Victor – a first –smiling with much satisfaction in the dark she said,

"I'm not doing anything with you while _he's_ here."

And Logan was, in fact staggering to the good old trusty beanbag with ever intention of spending another night there.

"What's the big deal?" Victor had protested, not caring whether one or a dozen people were in the same room with them.

Ororo might have let that go but Victor had to make one more comment.

"Big whoop!"

Not a very articulate comment and certainly not very wise.

His nonchalance was irritating, the entire situation intolerable and Ororo had exploded.

"He's not just in the freaking room with us! He's lying on the floor only a few feet away!" she'd hissed.

This had only served to amuse Victor who'd proceeded to kiss her firmly in what he'd thought was a seductive bout of foreplay. He was therefore a little disconcerted when she'd pushed him away, reiterated that she wasn't going to and that was that.

"Yo, Lo bro! You got to go!" Victor had demanded heatedly.

"Huh?" Logan had mumbled drowsily.

"Victor!" Ororo had cried then shoved Victor angrily. "You can't drive home drunk, Logan," she'd said in a much calmer voice accepting her defeat.

Both men had left it at that. Victor because he simply hadn't wanted Ororo to get it in her head to do something crazy like leave since she was acting strange already even though it was a side of her he'd enjoyed seeing. She didn't show much spunk unless she was going on about all her politically correct stuff and Victor liked his women to be ballsy every once in awhile. In the end Ororo had stayed, Logan had stayed and Vic had lain in bed trying not to think about why he was still feeling guilty.

There is no way this is going to work, she thought once again many days later. It was a recurring thought throughout the week after Logan had ending up staying and never leaving, essentially moving in with them. Of course it wasn't as if she lived there and had any right to say who came or went but it just wasn't right. The fact that she was attracted to him made it even worse because she couldn't avoid him and she still felt that tie. Fortunately they both skirted the issue but Logan's constant intrusion was preventing her from making any strides with Victor.

"So y'all are livin' together in his funky efficiency like some kinda weird ménage a trios?" Anna asked as she poured a glass of wine for them each.

They were at their town home listening to music and sharing a bottle of wine. It was Ororo's second glass and she was still not in a better mood. Her solemn face barely cracked a smile at Anna's remark. Nothing about what was going on was funny. It was more like some surreal reality show with poor ratings.

"Shoot, ah know it ain't funny, Ororo but you know it is in a way if you think about it for a minute. Ah mean the little one's got it bad for you an' the big one looks like he's finally fallin' for you too. How uncanny is that?"

"That's not true at all!"

"What? You can't see it? Girl, you got to be blind not to. Why do you think the little one's moved in with y'all? He's got his own place still. He can't be afraid of his ex. He might be stupid but he didn't strike me as the type to let an' ex run him around like that."

"That's crazy."

"He had crazy written all over him ah'll give you that but you act like this is news to you. Ah could see he had it bad for you the way he kept lookin' at you that night you dragged me to that seedy bar! Ah figured you'd figure it out sooner or later on your own without me stickin' my nose into it but ah guess ah gave you more credit than you deserved sugah."

"I . . . that's not true at all!"

"Oh no? Oh, no! Lord have mercy on my soul! Ah see it now, clear as the light of day! You like him! You like that little guy! Gosh almighty wait till ah tell Remy! You got yourself stuck on that squirt!" Anna squealed, excited by her discovery.

"That's ludicrous and you better not tell Remy any such thing!"

"You do like him! You're awful! Oh, Ororo poor baby. You're worse off 'n ah thought!"

"I don't!" Ororo said. She got up and moved near the plants by the window where she appeared to be inspecting them.

"Oh, yes you do! Ah know how you are when you like someone, always denyin' it like it ain't true tryin' to play it off. An' look at you all nervous an' stuff. You were the same way when you were likin' Forge," Anna said.

"Okay, I do like him! I'm not going to lie. I like him but not like that. He's Victor's best friend. I'd never go there and you know that. It's one of my standing rules just like you and I don't mess with each other's men. It only causes problems."

"Big time – you're right about that. Pity though."

"That's not funny."

"Nope, but knowin' you like ah do what with you bein' hotter 'n a cat on a hot tin roof in the middle of dog days of August ah'd think you'd be happy havin' the two of 'em pantin' after you."

"That's disgusting."

"Ah'm just sayin' – you got big dufus actin' like he's got a heart after all an' little dufus actin' like he ain't got a brain the size of a pea – kinda like the two of 'em equals one decent man an' you know how hard it is to find a decent man!" Anna said thoughtfully.

"Anna! That's not even funny!"

"Well, ah ain't even got started yet! Give me a minute."

"I knew I shouldn't have told you a thing."

"Oh, ah'm sorry, sugah. Really. Ah was just messin' with you but you gotta admit as weird as it is ah'm right."

"I thought you might be able to help me figure out what to do but I should've known better."

"Why? Because ah've been with Remy for so long you think ah can't relate?"

"Because . . . well, yes. No offense."

"None taken sugah. Ah might not have the experience you do but ah can tell you what you can do to fix this mess."

"I don't think I really want to hear what you have to say now."

"You should let me fix you up. In fact ah know someone – y'all would be perfect for each other," Anna said.

"I already have a boyfriend. You know that."

"You mean a _couple_ of boyfriends don't you?" Anna laughed. "You have such bad taste in men, Ororo you need to let your friends help you although definitely not Yukio and maybe not Betsy either, she's a little loose too.

"Now, what you should do is just move on outta your so called boyfriend's dump an' let me fix you up. You me an' Remy can go on a double date. It'll be fun, you'll see. Ah just met this real cute guy the other day when ah was visitin' Kurt. And he's a hottie, some kinda foreign track star. Got platinum hair, a nice body, an' his daddy's rich too. He's single, straight, an' got a Ferrari to boot. You'd like him; he's even got an accent."

"It sounds like _you_ like him."

"Oh, sugah ah do like a man with an accent you know that an' if ah weren't already with Remy ah'd give him a chance for sure. Now come on, Ororo say yes – it's a good idea an' you know it."

"I loathe blind dates."

"But he's cute an' single an' built an' rich an' kinda famous ah think an' the best way to solve your little ol' ménage a trios problem's seein' another man. That always works if you wanna get over a man; you're the one that told me that."

"It's still a blind date," Ororo retorted.

"It's the only thing ah can come up with, sugah. You wanted to know what ah thought. Well here's another thought – the wages of sin is death, you remember that."

"Oh, please don't go there, Anna!"

"Well it's true."

"That's Kurt talking."

"Kurt an' ah just don't wanna see you burn in hell."

"It's not like I'm some horrible person going around mutilating people and stuffing them in my freezer to snack on whenever I get hungry. I haven't killed anyone! I haven't maimed anyone and I hardly ever lie. I do good things. Why can't being good be enough?"

"Bein' good is a start but you need to turn your whole life around an' . . ."

"Join the God squad?"

"Well, if you wanna call it that sure! He'll be glad to have you on the team."

Ororo's irritation dimmed at the sincere look on Anna's face but she shook her head sadly.

"I wasn't brought up in church like you and Remy and Kurt, Anna. I'm just having fun and I have to believe good people aren't going to burn in hell."

"If it's so much fun then why are you so miserable?"

"Because hell is right here on this Earth."

"Ororo, honey, you don't know the meanin' of hell."

"A blind date – that sums it up pretty good I think."

"Ah don't know why you're askin' me for advice if you ain't gonna listen."

And Ororo wasn't listening. She was thinking about what Anna had said. Not about hell and God but a blind date. Maybe things had gotten that bad. And maybe a blind date would be just what she needed she considered. And if she was going to go through with it she knew exactly where to go.

xox

Domino's wasn't dark or smoky or very small – nothing like Logan and Victor liked their bars to be. It was closer to the beach and since it had just opened and they knew the owner, Domino the old waitress at Harry's, they'd been planning to check it out so it was easy for Ororo to suggest she meet them there one day next week. The week had passed and they were still in the same situation. Logan was supposedly looking for a new place to stay but he was still sleeping on the floor. Ororo was still not happy about the arrangement but Victor, who claimed he wasn't feeling well, hadn't complained so she'd said little to nothing hoping she could wait it out.

It was awkward for her but as long as Logan didn't try anything or do anything he shouldn't and she didn't allow herself to think about the feelings she'd felt towards him she was sure she'd be able to hold out a little longer. It wasn't as amusing or as enjoyable as Anna had made it out to be. Feeling some kind of connection with Logan had become a burden, something she resented which meant she was resenting Logan intensely and longed to have him out of their life.

She had hoped to make things work out with Victor especially when he actually came through and gave her a key a week after he'd mentioned it but now she wasn't as sure. What she did know was if she broke up with Victor it wouldn't be right to go after Logan so Logan was off limits and Victor just might be out of the picture if they couldn't get any alone time. There were things she needed to discuss with him like where were they headed, what did he see in their future but she couldn't bring any of that up with Logan always under foot.

When she arrived at the new club she was dressed as usual in her usual attire, tight and short this time a little black dress with spaghetti straps. Her hair was down and she wore large silver hoops in her ears that matched the silver and black sandals she had on. The dress was far too short in Anna's opinion and too low cut but she couldn't deny that Ororo looked beautiful, something Remy had second before Ororo had departed with her date for the night.

"Hi, boys," Ororo said with a bright smile. "I'd like you to meet my friend Yukio – she just got in from Japan. You don't mind if she joins us do you?"

Not waiting for a response she motioned for Yukio to sit beside Logan then she scooted in beside Victor who wrapped his burly arm around her. She hadn't bothered to tell Anna or Remy that she and Yukio were meeting her boys. It saved her from any possible lectures and had the effect of making Anna think she was trying to move on.

"Hey," Yukio grinned as she sat down forcing Logan to move over.

Logan looked at the small Japanese woman with narrowed inquisitive eyes. She wore her hair short and spiky which made her look a little tomboyish but not unattractive even though he liked long hair.

"Something wrong good looking?" Yukio asked.

"Don't – don't I know you?" Logan said, studying her in earnest.

"Now that's a pick up line if ever I've heard one," she laughed and she slid a little closer to him.

"No, I'm serious – you look familiar," Logan said.

Yukio's face scrunched up as if she was trying not to sneeze and a far away look washed over her as if she were trying to remember something.

"You used to date Yashida Mariko!" Yukio shrieked as she realized who he was and she covered her open mouth truly amazed that she was sitting next to him.

Ororo looked from Logan to Yukio then back at Logan. He looked ill. He took a swig of beer and stared at something just above Victor's shoulder.

"Um, uh . . . Victor, you remember me telling you about Yukio," Ororo said.

"Hey," Yukio said. Victor glanced at Logan then glanced at Yukio and nodded in reply.

"Victor's not feeling well," Ororo muttered to which Yukio's brows rose in feigned surprise.

After that they sat in a chilling silence. Ororo reached out and covered Logan's hand with hers for a moment but he didn't look at her. She recalled Victor telling her that Mariko had died and wished desperately that she hadn't brought Yukio now.

She moved her hand back feeling rebuffed and foolish. "Do you boys want anything?" She asked.

"I'm good, baby," Victor said with a shake of his head.

With a sigh she got up. "I'll be back – Yukio why don't . . ."

"I'm already there," Yukio said, leaping up and rushing to the bar a step ahead of Ororo.

"You didn't tell me they were brainless twits," Yukio wailed when they got to the bar.

"You didn't tell me you knew Mariko and if you knew her how could you mention her to Logan like that? She was his fiancée!"

"Well, how was I supposed to know that? He married someone else not her!"

"He's going to kill me," Ororo moaned.

"So? It's a small world and Mariko wasn't a hermit! He'll have to learn how to deal with it."

"This wasn't a good idea at all."

"He's cute though. Short, dark, thick and gorgeous in that rugged, manly way."

"He's not that short."

"No? You've got to tower over him as tall as you are," Yukio laughed.

"Only when I wear heels."

Yukio looked down at the flat sandals Ororo was wearing. They were cute metallic silver and black and strappy and matched her outfit nicely Yukio noted but she wasn't used to seeing Ororo in shoes without a three inch heel unless she was in uniform and then she wore the highest heels she could get away with and still be comfortable.

"Since when did you stop wearing heels?"

"It's summer."

"Sandals without heels?"

"Sandals are nice, what does it matter if I'm wearing sandals or heels?"

"Oh, now I've heard everything! You never wear anything less than three inch heels. Stilettos if you please!"

"I have flat shoes."

"I see, you do now. Question is – why?"

"What're you having ladies?" the bartender asked as he finally came up to them.

"Apparently we're both gonna have that short, dark and gorgeous guy over there," Yukio laughed as she pointed out Logan.

"You always make a mountain out of a mole hill," Ororo said, not thinking Yuiko's remark was amusing.

"I call 'em as I see 'em."

"Oh, no!" Ororo moaned and wished she could disappear. "Victor's coming over – you had better be good, Yukio!"

"Moi? When am I not?" Then at the look Ororo gave her she laughed and said, "I'll be on my very best behavior – Scouts honor!"

Ororo gave her friend a withering look.

"I promise! Really!" Yukio laughed.

"Logan's leavin'," Victor said when he joined them at the bar.

He'd checked Yukio out as he'd walked over and decided she was too short and then he'd turned his attention to Ororo who was looking like she was begging to go home early which meant he needed to get Logan to stay at the bar. He was hoping Ororo's plan would work and Logan would hook up with Yukio.

"That's not good. I'll go talk to him," Ororo said and hurried to catch him.

"You're a big one," Yukio said to Victor.

"You're a short one."

"Yeah, but you know what they say about little packages."

"Yeah? What?"

"Are you kidding me?"

"Huh?"

Ororo caught Logan just before he stepped outside.

"You tryin' to fix me up, is that it?"

"No!" And then – "Yes, I guess – I'm sorry. You've been moping around ever since Jean but I didn't knowYukio knew . . ."

"Yeah, right – how could you?"

"I just didn't want you to be by yourself – you seem so lonely."

"I'm not lonely. I never get lonely."

He looked at her intently as if trying to read her thoughts. After a moment she looked away.

"I don't need a woman, 'Roro not unless you got a twin I don't know about."

She smiled nervously.

"I'm serious," he said, still watching her closely oblivious to the people passing by them.

"I . . . I don't know what to say," she murmured, afraid to look at him.

"There ain't nothin' to say. You're Vic's."

She looked at him now. They stared at each other. The door opened and a small crowd of laughing women came in and they moved over towards the restrooms. But before they could resume their conversation Victor and Yukio joined them.

"Your friend is a real cut up," Victor said.

"Your boyfriend is an ass," Yukio muttered.

"She thinks she can beat me in pool – let's go over to Harry's so I can spank this chick."

"Cool. I hope you brought plenty of cash," Yukio snorted.

"You're on, Shorty," Victor laughed.

"She play pool like you play cards?" Logan asked as he held the door open for them.

"Thank you sir," Victor cried in a high pitch voice trying to be funny but no one paid any attention to him and he went off to get his car.

"Oh, no she didn't!" Yukio roared. "She take all your money and then some?"

"Clothes," Ororo said with a smile.

Yukio gave Ororo a high five. "That's what I'm talkin' about," she laughed. "Men are such dummies! Why do you think that is, Logan?"

"We're suckers with the right woman," he said.

"You any good at pool?"

"Not as good as you I'm guessin'."

"Let's find out," Yukio said and she snaked her arm through his and pulled him to the curb a few cars down where Victor was pulling up.

"Cool car," she said when Victor.

"Yeah."

"I'm driving," Ororo said and amazingly Victor simply moved over so she could get in.

"Wanna make a wager?" Yukio asked when she and Logan had piled into the back.

"I never bet," Logan replied.

"How much money you got?" Victor asked as he looked back.

"The question is how much money do you have big guy," Yukio snorted.

After a few drinks at Harry's Logan actually laughed when Yukio beat Victor in their first game. She had gone through the cue's sizing them up from tip to bottom attempting to find the least warped stick and hadn't been very satisfied with the meager selection. Mumbling how she should have thought to bring her own cue she finally selected one and then proceeded to school Victor.

Even Ororo had to laugh when Victor roared in disgust. He wasn't a good straight pool player, didn't like having to call his pockets and played mostly for fun but he didn't like losing and especially to a 'girl' so he challenged her to a game of one-pocket, which he was pretty good at or so he believed.

"Need another drink?" Logan asked when he heard a short slurping sound as Ororo sucked the last of her sloe screw down.

"No, I'm the designated driver as usual when we're out – Yukio and myself I mean."

"She's alright," he said with a nod.

"Yes, she is."

"How long have you two known each other?" he asked, curious if maybe their paths had crossed when he'd been with Mariko.

"A long time, since college, almost a decade I guess."

So they probably had crossed paths he thought. Odd how things worked out.

"What're you thinking about?" she asked when he looked at her strangely.

"Huh? Oh, nothin'."

"You looked as if you were a million miles away."

He shrugged carelessly then leaned back in his chair.

"I'm sorry about Yukio and . . ."

"Nothin' to be sorry for. You didn't know – how could you. It's a small world."

They watched as Victor, having won the lag, leaned in for the opening break. He looked so serious that he almost looked like another person in that instant. Ororo was surprised to see him shoot so softly when she'd expected the balls to go crashing over the table.

"Vic told you then?" Logan asked, glancing sideways at her.

"Told me what?"

"About Mariko."

"He told me a little."

"Vic didn't know her or like her, couldn't be good what he told you."

"He said you wouldn't marry Jean because you were still in love with Mariko."

She let him digest that a moment before she continued.

"You must have really loved her."

"Always will."

"Oh." Ororo felt a twinge of regret.

"Your friend's got brass, I like that," Logan said. "Think she'd go out with me?"

When he turned to look at her she felt as if she'd just been struck, something he didn't fail to notice.

"That's what you wanted wasn't it?"

"I . . ."

"Ask her, see if she's game."

"Me?"

"Why not?"

This wasn't going exactly how Ororo had imagined it would go. She had wheedled Victor in to helping her fix Logan up but she had thought it would be a good thing, that he wouldn't be lonely any more but she hadn't expected him to give in so easily. Now she felt as if he had intentionally done something to hurt her. Instead of answering him she turned her eyes to Victor who was taking his time in choosing his shots.

"So you an' Vic . . ."

She waited but he didn't finish his comment. Victor came to stand by her cursing under his breath after missing his last shot. He laid the pool stick across his shoulders and wrapped his arms around it while he watched Yukio. Just before she took her shot he coughed, loud and obnoxiously.

"Excuse you," Yukio said without looking up. Her stroke was straight and sure and she pocketed her ball then moved around the table slowly sizing up her next shot.

"Frail's not bad," Victor commented as he watched her eight balls pocketed in quick succession.

"Watch your mouth, bub," Logan said.

"'Scuse me! So she ain't bad in the looks department, eh, Lo? Maybe grow her hair out an' she'd look like a real girl."

"Victor!" Ororo snapped.

"What? She's got dyke hair."

Ororo didn't bother to complain this time. She rolled her eyes and headed to the exit.

"Where's she goin'?" Victor asked.

"Why don't you go find out?" Logan suggested.

"You up for another game, big guy?" Yukio asked.

"'Ro, just left, I gotta check on her," Victor said.

"Chicken, huh?" Yukio quipped.

"What did you just call me, girl?"

"B'luck, ba, ba, ba, b'luck," she chirped and laughed at her poor imitation of a chicken.

"I'll check on 'Roro," Logan said.

Outside the air was cool and refreshing. He found her leaning against the building looking up at the sky.

"So what are we going to do?" she asked when he leaned beside her.

"Go back in, play a few games of pool then take your friend home."

"Would that it were so simple," she mused.

"You feelin' alright?"

"Not really."

"Any thing I can do to help?"

She was silent for a moment then without looking at him she said, "Not really."

Strangely it felt peaceful outside in the dark with the neon Budweiser sign in the window and a distant street light giving the street an odd sense of privacy. Two other people, a couple, were standing by the door finishing their cigarettes and when they went back inside there was only the infrequent sound of a car passing by.

"I admire your devotion," Ororo said.

"How do you mean?"

"To Victor . . . and Mariko."

"Vic needs someone to keep him out of trouble."

He pulled a cigar from a pocket inside his jacket then a book of matches. He carefully lit the stogie then sucked life into it.

"I should've looked out for Mariko."

"I can't believe you didn't."

"I didn't."

"Would she think that – if she could see you now?

There was a long pause. Ororo wrapped her arms around herself fending off the cool night air.

"She would've liked you," Logan said.

"I think I would have liked her," Ororo said.

"Here," he said as he took his jacket off then put it over her shoulders.

"I wish you were happy," Ororo said.

An unexpected grin twisted at his lips. As he puffed on his cigar resting against the wall with her he felt pretty good. It was like how he'd hoped it would be, to be with her if only as a friend and he hadn't been disappointed.

"I'm happy enough," he said.

"Happy enough to let her go?"

Instead of dodging the question he met her demanding eyes and he nodded slowly. He could get lost in her eyes he thought.

"Then . . . then do you think you and Jean could get back together?"

"What?"

Her question had been totally unexpected.

"She's called me several times but I – I didn't know what to say to her."

"If you wanna be friends it ain't gonna bug me."

That wasn't exactly what Ororo had been thinking but she couldn't help but feel a little relieved. If Jean was out of the picture for good and he was happy surely he would move on with his life and get his own place and a new girlfriend. The last thought was a little unsettling but she told herself she only wanted him to find a woman who was deserving of him.

"We should go back," Ororo suggested. Hestubbed out his cigar giving up his last moment of serenity and followed her back into the club.

Now as he watched Victor and Yukio play another game of pool he felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted from him, as if he had finally put Mariko to rest. It didn't make sense to him but hearing Ororo laugh when Yukio came running up to them telling how she'd beat Victor again, it made him feel good inside. He liked her laughter. And there was Victor grumbling because he'd lost every game to Yukio. His big dumb goof of a friend. In that instant Logan didn't feel so jealous any more. Life actually looked brighter even promising.

Ororo was slightly amused with the pool players banter though she knew to keep her laughter to herself. Victor was never a good loser unless it involved losing his clothes while playing with a beautiful woman. She changed her mind and was glad she'd brought Yukio. At least Victor liked one of her friends.

"Feel like a rematch?" Yukio asked Victor who had come to stand beside Ororo.

"Nah, I ain't been feelin' too good lately, think I'm comin'down with a cold again."

"Excuses, excuses. You just suck face it and pay up!"

"Keep it up Shorty an' I'll . . ." He caught himself before he said anything Ororo could get mad at after all she might not be as fussy as some women but she was still a woman and taunting her best friend in his usual way - sexually harassing would be a good definition for it – might not be the best way to go he thought.

But with that thought Victor felt torn. He cared for Ororo a lot. He wanted to keep her and he wanted to make her happy but he also felt like he was caught in a trap same as he had the night of Logan's and Jean's anniversary party. It wasn't something he liked and nothing he thought he could get used to. Always watching what he said in front of Ororo and to women because of Ororo didn't seem like right to him. That bothered him. It made him feel less of a man. But he didn't say anything to ruin the evening for her. It looked like her plan was working and maybe the runt would start spending his nights with Yukio. To each his own, Victor thought and he reluctantly pulled out his wallet and counted then recountedfifty dollarsbefore he handed it over.

They stayed a little later talking idly, Yukio kidding Victor and Logan laughing at the abuse piled upon his friend. It was a nice evening and Ororo was glad it had been salvaged. They left just before the club closed. They stopped off at Domino's to pick up Ororo's car but Ororo didn't want to let Victor drive while inebriated even though he didn't seem drunk.

"Let Logan drive her home in your car why don't you?" Victor said.

"Uh, hello!" Yukio said, waving a hand in front of Victor. "I'm right here and I don't need him to drive me home I can drive myself home!"

"I don't mind," Logan said.

"I hardly know you," Yukio laughed.

"I like Yukio's idea," Ororo said. "You can drive back to my place all rightcan't you, Yukio?"

"Yeah, I could. I've been there a dozen times in how many years?"

"Kinda defeats the purpose," Victor mumbled.

"Yukio, doyou mind?" Ororo said, ignoring Victor and when Yukio agreed she smiled and said, "Good, keep the car, I'll see you tomorrow. Come on boys – bye, Yukio and thanks."

"Bum's rush and kicked to the curb, bye yourself girl!" Yukio said but she happily unlocked the hybrid and soon she sped off.

"She do everything with a vengeance?" Logan asked.

"Everything and then some," Ororo said. "I'm driving again."

"No you're not!" Victor said as he raced to the driver's side but she was already opening the door having beat him by a few seconds.

"I really gotta be sick, can't beat my woman in a one second race, damn."

"Watch your mouth, man," Logan said with a nod in Ororo's direction.

"'Scuse the French, baby. I ain't feelin' so good, maybe I ate somethin' bad," Victor said.

"Maybe you should lay down," Ororo said.

"Yeah, maybe – what'd we eat anyway?" he groaned.

He opened the back door and climbed in then laid down as best he could in the small back seat.

"We can get something at the Seven Eleven," Ororo murmured as she turned the key in the ignition.

"Pump the gas, Ro," Victor said when she couldn't get the jeep started.

"I can't get it to work," Ororo moaned after a few more attempts.

"Damn piece of junk!" Victor cursed angrily. "You must've flooded it, Ro."

"She did," Logan said.

"I did not."

"You did – heavy foot," Logan chuckled.

"Well, I'm sorry I didn't do it intentionally!"

"Yeah, 's what I get for lettin' a woman drive my baby."

"Oh, please," Ororo grumbled under her breath.

"Put her in neutral an' I'll push her to the side over there," Victor said as he pointed a little down the street.

Obediently Ororo did as she was told. Logan jumped out and together he and Victor got it into a safe spot.

"I'm really sorry," Ororo said when she got out.

"You just ain't gonna chauffer us around no more," Victor said.

"Then you better not drink when we're out," she shot back with a smile.

"Yeah, right. That means we ain't goin' out no more, baby – you want that?"

"We hardly . . ." she stopped, rethought and then said, "That's fine. I don't care. Should we start walking or can you fix it?"

Victor chuckled. "I got some carb cleaner, we'll try that after a few minutes."

While they waited Victor laid down in the jeep again and Ororo and Logan sat up front. Neither of them said anything for some time. Ororo felt awkward sitting so close to Logan althoughhedidn't seem to be bothered. Helit a cigar and began tosmoke calmly passing the time. Finally Victor sat up and declared he felt better and thought he'd check the carberator. After spraying itthoroughly he started to get in but Ororo wouldn't budge.

"Look, Ro," Victor laughed as he put his arms out on either side of him parallel to the ground and then one foot in front of the other as if walking on aline. "I can even touch my nose without fallin' on my face. The way you act sometimes you must think I'm afreakin' alcoholic."

"I don't think that."

"Let the man drive," Logan said.

Ororo turned to look at Logan who was tossing his cigar out the window. Victor was already squeezing into the front so she had no choice but to scoot over. After a few tries the car started and they were on their way. Ororo put her head back against the seat looking past Logan into the dark black sky. Logan didn't move his arm when she bumped up against it. A sliver of a moon was being surrounded by clouds. It was beautiful and peaceful. Even the music, Skynnrd's Freebird playing soulfully in the jeep's cassette player added to the beauty.

"Did you like Yukio?" Ororo asked, turning her head a little to see him better.

His dark eyes bore into hers but he didn't reply.

"We could go to Xavier's," Victor said.

"What? Xavier's is a strip club!" Ororo balked.

"There's this dancer at Xavier's who's always comin' on to Logan but the runt don't do nothin' about it. I keep tellin' him to go for it. She's practically beggin' for it but he's still got it bad for Red."

"You – you do?"

"What the . . . ? Hell no! Vic don't know what he's talkin' about – you should know that by now, 'Roro."

"Yeah, whatever. He hasn't had any since that night . . . since his anniversary am I right?" Victor said.

"Sometimes it takes time to . . . to heal," Ororo said.

"A good roll 'n the hay'll heal him right up, baby."

"Sometimes you need more than that."

"That's a woman for you all feely and emotional, give me a break."

Ororo and Logan exchanged brief looks. Lately Victor's vulgarity had been starting to wear thin on Ororo and Logan could tell this was one of those moments.

"Is she nice – this, um stripper?" Ororo asked.

Logan chuckled. "I don't even know the woman – saw her once when I was pickin' up . . ." he stopped. He'd been about to tell her he was picking Victor up there. "Count me out."

"You should start dating again."

He shrugged but something in the way she looked at him made him start. Was she upset at him? Had that been a barb? She had a way of being snippy without seeming to do so, he thought as he remembered the night she'd refused to have sex with Victor because he was there. He hadn't been so wasted that he hadn't heard them. Truth told it had given him a sense of satisfaction and it was one of the reasons he still showed up with Victor every night.

"We gonna go or not? Baby, you can show them how it's really done."

"You go. I – I don't feel like going to a strip club."

"You comin', Lo?"

"I know you can't read, Vic but you can't hear now, is that it?"

"You still dreamin' of the day you're gonna meet the perfect woman?"

"Dreaming of a day I won't have to put up with you any more – the perfect woman's right here beside me – apparently she's got a slew of womento fix me up with."

"Yeah, dream on buddy," Vic chuckled.

Logan took a quick look at Ororo. He'd heard her gasp a little but now she was sitting up drawing away from him and staring straight ahead. Something was obviously bothering her and he didn't think it was the strip club. She was so used to Victor by now so that couldn't be it. Not knowing what was bothering her gnawed at him. Was she upset about him and some girl she was trying to fix him up with? That didn't make sense.

And then he thought he knew why. But that was ridiculous. She hadn't once acted as if anything out of the ordinary had passed between them as long as he'd been there and that was two weeks now. He'd begun to think he'd misread her even though he couldn't see what she saw in Victor who was an ass most of the time.

Shortly they were home and Victor parked and got out shutting the door behind him. As he stretched on the sidewalk Logan got out and held the door open for Ororo. She looked tired.

"I'm not in love with Jean, 'Roro and I don't need a stripper or you fixin' me up with anyone," Logan said quietly.

"I thought you and Yukio would have a lot in common," she countered.

"She has more in common with your boy than me. Both got egos as big as a flamin' house. Wasn't hardly room for you an' me to fit in the car," Logan whispered in her ear.

Ororo laughed, her good humor restored and he squeezed her shoulder.

"Well, since you think she's the woman for me give me her number an' I'll ask her out, guess it wouldn't hurt," he said.

"All right but she won't be in town for long," Ororo replied.

Well what was the point of that he wondered but he let it go. Victor was complaining about how tired he was so they went up to the apartment and settled down for the night. While Victor and Ororo were in the bathroom and he listened to the shower running Logan thought how nothing had changed and yet everything had. Maybe it was time to move on.

**A/N – **Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. I had to add to the small chapter I'd written and make it work with some of the additons I've made since I wrote the first twenty chapters or so.

I really appreciate the thorough reviews, the last ones really inspired my little bout of writers block. Thank you!


	17. Hit the Road Jack

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin **

**A/N – **Want to apologize for taking so long to update. Thing is I discarded a few chapters as I felt they were unnecessary after discussing it with my beta Skyz and I reworked a few others into this one. I will do my best to get the next chapter up by Friday. Also, thanks Skyz for the title for this chapter and a very special thanks to all that reviewed especially to those who made me get busy and put this up quicker, I appreciate that.

**Chapter Seventeen **– **Hit the Road Jack **

After they got back Ororo was surprised when Victor didn't pressure her for sex but she was so tired she almost didn't care. _Almost_. Sometimes it helped her to go to sleep though it wouldn't have then. She'd found it incredibly hard to sleep with Logan laying on the beanbag. It was like a ghost was living with them. She could hear his deep breathing in the night. Unlike Victor he didn't snore loud or often and Victor's loud snoring had never bothered her. For some reason she likened it to the roar of a big bear and she felt safe when she heard the deep rumbling sounds beside her. Victor always made her feel safe and reckless all at the same time.

She could hear Logan's breath catch now then pause as if he'd forgotten to breathe and then he stirred, groaned and called out. He tossed under the sheet so that it was twisted around him in an odd arrangement. He always tossed and turned, mumbling incoherently in his sleep. Now she could see the sheen of sweat on his upper lip as the street light shone in through a window. He looked like he was having a bad dream. She wondered what he dreamt of every night that made him sleep so restlessly then wearily she turned her back to him and wrapped her arms around Victor. He felt hot but was sleeping peacefully and soon she was too.

The next day came too soon as mornings usually do after a late night out and in the light of day nothing much had really changed. Logan was still there and she and Victor had no privacy forcing them to retreat to the bathroom for some alone time. She wondered if that was what it would be like if she and Victor had children but the thought dissipated as she gave herself up to Victor's warm embrace.

Though the bathtub wasn't quite large enough for the two of them it was the perfect spot to make love in private. But that morning Victor sat down heavily in the tub letting the water from the shower rain down over him. He put his head between his knees and sat there in silence while Ororo stood above him wondering what was wrong with her that she was putting up with all of this.

"Come on, get up," she implored, bending down and tugging at his large hairy arms.

"Just let me sit a while, Ro baby. All's I need's a minute," he murmured, his voice almost lost in the sound of the pounding water.

"Fine! Suit yourself," she said angrily.

She felt overwhelmed and a little guilty but as she straightened up she banged her back on the faucet and she yelped out in pain. The hard metal raked against her flesh leaving a deep gash. Before Victor could get up to help her she thrust the shower curtain aside and stepped out anxious to see how badly she was hurt. She tried standing on the tips of her toes, heedless of the water pooling around her feet, but it was useless. She couldn't see the cut no matter what angle she tried. Exasperated and hurting she wrapped a towel around her head twisting it angrily. But when she wrapped another around her body she flinched as the soft Egyptian cotton rubbed up against her cut and with the sharp pain she felt her anger was ready to explode.

"I think you should ask him to leave," she snapped when Victor turned the water off and slowly got out of the shower.

"He ain't got no where to go, Ro baby, you know that."

"He still has that apartment or why can't he get a room somewhere? Ow, am I bleeding? Look for me will you?"

"Yeah, you're bleedin'," Victor said when she turned her back to him. "It's a pretty nasty cut."

"This isn't going to work," Ororo said. "I'm tired of doing it this way trying to sneak around so he can't hear us. Why can't you ask him to move out?"

When he didn't reply she repeated her question but he ignored her once again and changed the subject.

"Come on baby, daddy's hungry," Victor said playfully trying to pull her to him.

"My back was ripped open and you think I'm going to have sex with you? I need a bandage and an answer!"

"It ain't that bad."

"Victor!"

"Why you gotta act like this?"

"Like what?"

"Like a damn woman that's what."

"I am a woman or didn't you notice?"

"Who are you? You ain't the Ro I know."

"What're you talking about?" Ororo asked, baffled.

"Damn, woman you never used to fuss like this."

"Maybe because we never used to have your buddy sleeping on the floor every night! I just want you to ask him to leave, to move out, to get a hotel room, to go, to fly away somewhere – anywhere but here! What's so hard about that?"

"I can't do that, baby."

"And why not?"

"I ain't gonna send him packin' that's all you need to know."

"Then you can screw yourself," she whispered cruelly before she opened the door.

Victor was moments away from telling her what she could do but once again he caught himself. It infuritated him. Life with her was beginning to be nothing but a struggle like he had to walk on eggshells watching everything he said and did. He didn't like it but he liked Ororo enough to let most of the dumb things she complained about slide. The few things she complained about wouldn't have been considered much by many men but anger has a way of multiplying the bad and so it was with Victor. He didn't go on a tangent but neither did he follow her. He could screw himself just fine, he thought.

Coming out of the bathroom and realizing she'd forgotten to put on her robe and was only wrapped in a towel made the reality of their argument even clearer for Ororo. And seeing Logan sitting at the table causally drinking coffee as if nothing was odd or wrong about him being there made her twice as angry. Who did he think he was anyway barging into their life like he had? Sitting there so smug and content while she was going without sex and getting attacked by the tub of all things and probably bleeding to death! And to top it all off he had the gall to want to go out with her best friend!

Her fury practically leapt from her eyes but Logan failed to notice. He was too busy staring at her with huge eyes, wide with shock that was quickly turning into admiration. His mouth hung open as she yanked her towel off vehemently and threw it to the floor. It didn't even occur to him not to look as she drew the black dress she'd worn the night before over her head then stuffed her feet into the flat sandals all while cursing her stupidly and the heeless sandals. She shook her long mane of hair out then twisted it behind her head and tucked it in so it hung loosely and somewhat wildly in a bun. Then she gathered up all her belongings, threw them on the bed and marched to the door to get her luggage.

"What happened to you?" Logan asked, finally collecting himself when he saw the bloody cut on her back where she'd left her dress open in the back as she'd been unable to reach the zipper on her own.

"Just zip me up and take me home will you?"

"You need to fix that."

"Oh, you think so?"

"You're in a mood."

"I just want to go, are you going to take me or not?"

"Come here," he said, his voice a soft whisper as he pulled her over to the kitchen.

"Ow! What're you doing?" she cried when she felt something firm pressed against her gaping wound.

"Settle down, you're actin' like a baby."

She tried to pull away but he caught her arm and yanked her back.

"I'm just trying to clean it is all. Hold still why don't you?"

After his explanation she reluctantly submitted to his gentle administrations but instead of feeling grateful she felt herself growing angrier still, partly because when she was around him she couldn't think right. She felt as if she were going to explode if she couldn't get out of there away from these two. To make matters worse Victor came out, a towel wrapped loosely around his hips, his wet hair slicked back and looking like he should be on the cover of Muscle and Fitness. The sight of his tall, muscular body fueled her anger all the more but before she could even speak Victor was yelling.

"Get your hands off her, dude!"

"What the . . . ? Look, I was just stopping the bleeding you idiot," Logan said holding up the bloody napkin for him to see.

The two men stared at each other for a brief moment. They knew each other better than Ororo would ever know them. They knew each other's weaknesses and strengths and they knew if it ever came down to it neither of them would win in a fight but his hackles raised, Victor didn't care at that moment. Ororo was his and Logan had his hands on her.

"I ever see you touch her I'll kill you." Victor said mildly.

The anger that had been so close to erupting within Ororo suddenly died in that one exchange.

"How's that? Better?" Logan asked when he'd finished staunching the blood having ignored Victor.

"No," Ororo muttered.

"Vic, your lady needs stitches. I'm leavin', try not to be too late we're already a day behind," Logan said.

"Huh?"

As surprised as Victor was at Logan's announcement Ororo was even more surprised but within fifteen minutes they were at the hospital. Ororo knew a doctor that worked there however she worked nights and Ororo didn't think she'd be there however she asked the receptionist who was able to have an intern catch the doctor before she left.

Doctor Cecelia Reyes had met Ororo and Remy when they were vacationing in New York. They had become good friends and remained in touch over the years, so much so that when Ororo raved about the climate and how wonderful California was Cecelia had opted to relocate. Since then she had become engaged to another doctor there and though she seldom saw Ororo due to their conflicting work schedules she still considered her a good friend.

"I expect you to take better care of her do you understand?" Cecelia told Victor.

"I brung her in didn't I?"

"Brought – you brought her in and what's wrong with you? You look awful," Cecelia said, taking his hand in hers.

They watched as she examined his fingertips and then his palm. After a moment she looked at his face shrewdly while she took his pulse.

"He's been feeling ill," Ororo said with a slightly guilty look. In her anger she hadn't considered how Victor was feeling at all.

"You have a mild fever. What other symptoms have you noticed?"

"Nothin' – I ain't sick like that."

"Sick is sick, Mr. Creed."

"He thought it was something he ate last night."

"I ain't sick," Victor said.

"Oh?" Cecelia said. A slow smile formed as she began to understand him. What Ororo saw in a man as stupid as he appeared to be the she didn't know but Ororo was a friend so she'd do the best she could for him.

"I want you to set up an appointment with Henry for him, Ororo. I'll let him know to expect your . . . friend. Here's his number. He's a male doctor, Mr. Creed and one of the best. You'll like him," Cecelia said as she scribbled the number down on a prescription pad.

"Don't need no doctor," Victor mumbled under his breath.

"I'll make sure he gets you in today."

"Cecelia, thank you."

"Well, Ororo you saved my plants from dying when I moved out here, now it's my turn to save something of yours, isn't that what friends are for?" she laughed.

Victor didn't appreciate the humor but the women hugged and before they parted they promised to call each other soon. Victor took Ororo home, mumbling all the while that he wasn't sick, didn't need to see a doctor and about how bossy and nosey Ro's friend was.

xox

Make up sex is always good but after they got back to Victor's Ororo felt it was the best they'd ever had. She forgot the pain in her back, forgot Logan and Yukio, she forgot everything but Victor's beautiful body and the pleasure she took from it. It was rare that they could use their bed now because Logan seemed to have some kind of seventh sense showing up whenever they got frisky.

Why Victor didn't care was beyond Ororo. He had always been ready at the drop of a dime. It was one of the things Ororo liked about him; he was ready any time and any where and since she had a large appetite she appreciated that. But all that had changed since Logan had moved in. It was one of the main reasons she wanted him to move out.

They hadn't been intimate half as much as they usually were since Logan had latched onto their lives. She missed their wild impetuous sex. She had hoped Victor would have too but now she was beginning to wonder if there wasn't something going on with him. Could it be possible that he was already bored with her?

"You ain't like all them other women are you?" he asked after they laid exhausted in each other's arms.

"I don't know what you're talking about, I'm just me."

"Yeah, I know. You're . . . well, you're kinda special," he said while playing with her hair.

"So are you, you just don't let people see that side of you."

"You think I'm special?" he asked, almost in awe.

"Because you're not afraid of the truth. You tell it like it is and you don't care what anyone thinks. I admire that. Most people aren't like that."

"Yeah? Yeah, I guess I do, huh?"

She snuggled up to him and ran her fingers through his thick chest hair. "I always want you to tell me the truth."

"I wouldn't ever lie to you, baby," he whispered, guilt setting in once again.

"Neither would I," Ororo said, snuggling closer into his firm body.

He sniffed her hair now as he held her spoon fashion. She always smelled nice. He didn't know why she affected him the way she did, making him put up with things he normally wouldn't but in the end usually, like now, he was content. Contentment was rare and good. He was happy with her and just laying there holding her. He felt so good he let all the guilt and the argument about the runt sleeping on the floor and having had to get a key made weeks ago, going against his code – he let all of that go as he drifted off to sleep holding her close.

The sharp trill of the phone ringing almost an hour later woke them. Victor rolled onto his side away from Ororo letting her answer it.

"You all right?" Logan asked, his voice gruff and concerned.

"I'm fine and you?"

"Yeah – where's Vic? He on the way?"

"Um . . . he's . . . he's sleeping right now. I can have him call you later."

There was a long pause before either spoke again.

"He still isn't feeling well," Ororo said. "The doctor said he has a fever . . ." Her voice trailed off. She wondered why she felt the need to explain.

It took a few seconds before Logan responded and then he said, rather too cheerfully,

"Tell the big lug to take the day off."

"All right."

"Okay."

"Well, then I'll talk to you later – maybe you could come over for dinner next week," she said, finishing quite cheerfully herself, pleased with her not so subtle hint.

"Yeah. Maybe you could invite Yukio," Logan growled. "Or maybe I'll call her, you got her number? I gotta eat somewhere, might as well eat with her."

There was distinct sinking feeling in the pit of Ororo's stomach. She didn't like the tone in his voice and she most certainly didn't like having to give her friend's number to him but she realized she had no choice and so she produced the number and quickly said goodbye. Angry without knowing why she nudged Victor who grunted and rolled over pulling her to him as he did so but she pushed him away and smacked him in the middle of his chest with the bottom of her palm.

"Logan's not sleeping here tonight," she said when he stared up at her with a confused expression on his face.

"So?"

"So – nothing. I just wanted you to know. He probably has a date."

"Oh, gonna get a little action – yeah, that's cool," he said.

"And you'll need to get up – you have that appointment in an hour."

"What the . . . ? The hell with that. All's I need is some rest. I don't need to see a doctor."

"It wouldn't hurt for you to see him besides he rearranged his entire schedule to see you."

"That's his problem. I never told him to."

"But, Victor you have to go! Cecelia went out of her way to . . ."

"Baby, Victor Creed don't got to do nothin' but die an' pay taxes. Now, let me alone so I can get some sleep."

She watched him turn over again curling up comfortably, one arm under his head and the other reaching back for her but she swatted it away then climbed on top of him so she was straddling his hip. She tried to make him look at her but he yawned and grinned absently, his eyes still closed.

"Look, Victor this is important. You can't just not show up."

"Then get off me an' cancel the damn appointment," he said.

"If you don't go then I'm . . ."

That got his attention. He opened his eyes and frowned at her.

"Victor, please just do this for me this once. You haven't been feeling . . ."

"I got the flu or a virus, it'll pass. Now you gonna keep yappin' or you gonna come back to bed?"

Without answering she scrambled off him and then off the bed. In a moment she was dressed and snatching her luggage. When she turned back to Victor she saw he'd already fallen back to sleep. That was it for her. She felt like she was always going up against a brick wall with him. She wondered what had happened to the days when he would watch his cursing and go along with her ideas.

It seemed as if with Logan's arrival everything had gone down hill. Of course she didn't live there and neither she nor Victor had ever mentioned living together but they might as well have said she lived there since she spent most of her free time there. And because of that she felt Victor could have taken that into consideration. It was bad enough they hadn't had their usual uninhibited fun for weeks but Ororo still felt a little funny around Logan.

The fact that she liked him was reason enough to send him packing. She liked him a lot, more than she should but she liked Victor too and more when it came down to it because she knew Victor better and she'd known him longer. Unexplained feelings might linger regarding Logan but she was determined to let them go. How could she manage that if they were all living together?

Then she remembered she'd told Logan in so many words not to come back and she had a moment of pleasure. She was glad Logan wouldn't be spending the night because that meant Victor would have to sulk by himself because she wasn't going to come back, not tonight, not for a while. That gave her a wonderful sense of satisfaction.

And so she left without a word, without leaving a note and with no intention of returning any time soon which turned out to be a good thing because Logan showed up on Victor's doorstep that night and the next and the next for the rest of the week. It was only on the sixth night that Logan started thinking about not staying and maybe moving back into his place since he hadn't given the apartment up yet.

"She ain't answerin' her cell – what the hell's her problem?" Victor said then without waiting for Logan's answer he went on, "I been callin' her every damn day an' nothin' – like she's mad or somethin'! Mad at what, huh? I been mister 'yes dear' ever since . . ."

The men exchanged a brief look but Victor quickly looked away.

"She thinks I'm gonna be here when she gets back she's got rocks for brains," Victor murmured.

They were sitting in the comfortable Lazy Boy's watching one of Victor's NASCAR tapes. Although Logan could care less about NASCAR rankings and he wouldn't have normally sat around watching cars careening endlessly around a track he did like the stock cars. And basically there wasn't anything else to do except play video games which Logan didn't care for. Now he watched Victor get up scoop two empty beer bottles in his large hand, walk to the kitchen, toss the bottles in a card board box Ororo used for recycling then open the refrigerator, bury his head inside for a long minute before slamming the door shut and amble back. He looked wild, wilder than usual, his blond hair in need of a good combing, his strong chin in need of a shave and by the smell of him he needed to change his clothes and shower but Logan was used to Victor's slovenliness and didn't think much about it.

"She's been gone for a week!" Victor seethed.

"Nothin' she ain't done before," Logan repiled.

"Who asked you? She ain't never been gone a whole week!" Victor growled.

Logan stifled a chuckle. It was funny watching Victor pacing back and forth while he picked up stray beer cans and pizza boxes and emptying ashtrays. He was acting the total opposite of how Victor Creed usually acted and it had made the past few days exceptionally enjoyable for Logan. He knew he shouldn't be getting a kick out of his friend's lovelorn predicament but he couldn't help himself. He had to hand it to Ororo, how she'd wound Vic around her little finger so well. The only problem though was that Vic was getting surlier and surlier these last few days. When he wasn't drinking he was complaining.

Logan hoped Ororo wasn't just ignoring Victor and had maybe decided to leave him. Yukio had told him Ororo was a big girl and to stop asking about her every five minutes, that she could take care of herself and he'd tried to let it ago. Now he was starting to get antsy after listening to Victor drone on and on. What if something had happened to her? Just yesterday Yukio had laughed at him and told him to go after Ororo if he was so into her. He had given her a sour look but he didn't deny his feelings or confirm them. They had let the subject drop but he had yet to call Yukio today like he'd told her he would.

"She'll be back, probably just wanted to get away from us for a while."

"Dude, why would she want to do that?" He was serious Logan noted

"I probably oughta move back into my own place, just have the lock changed, maybe even move somewhere else, give you two some time alone."

Victor was silent. He didn't mind Logan sleeping on the floor. It was almost like old times. But he didn't want to lose Ororo either.

"Maybe I should call her."

"Then she'll know she's got you right where she wants," Logan said, thinking of Jean.

"Ro ain't that way."

"Yeah, ya got that right. Roro's not like any woman I've every known."

"Why hasn't she called? You think she's mad at me, maybe mad at you?"

"Both of us probably. Who knows how women think?"

"Damn. Damn. I don't even know where she lives," Victor muttered. "What if she's sittin' at home laughin' it up with that . . ."

He glared at Logan's smirk and closed his mouth. He knew he sounded like a fool but when he went back into the kitchen muttering under his breath but Logan's sharp ears caught ever word.

"Went to the doctor just like she wanted an' look what it got me. Stupid ass doctor! Stupid ass broad! Who does she think she is runnin' me through hoops like a damn dog? I'm gonna strangle her next time I see her!"

The room went silent as Logan turned the DVD off. He stood up not sure if Victor was just blowing off steam or in his anger was dead serious.

"What're you lookin' at? I ain't gonna kill her."

"So, you gettin' serious – that what this is all about?"

"Hell no! I mean don't get me wrong she's great I mean she's better 'n most but now all she wants to do is boss me around raggin' all the time like I'm her little lapdog. Do I look like a freakin' pet?

"The – she walked out without sayin' a word. You think she'd say something or call but she thinks this is gonna make me chase after her but I'm cool with it – she wants to play games let her. I don't care what she's doin' or where she's at."

"Maybe things would be better for you two if I went back to my place," Logan said a little reluctantly.

"This is my place – you're stayin'. In fact why don't you move all those boxes outta the loft? You can sleep up there."

Logan looked up at the loft and nodded slowly. It wasn't a bad idea he thought while Victor was thinking when Ororo did come back they'd have some privacy, just like she wanted and they'd both be happy.

"You sure, man?"

"Did I stutter or somethin'?"

"Maybe Jean's heard from her," Logan said.

"So? Why would I care?"

"You want me to call her, see if she's heard from her?" Logan offered, not too proud to call Jean if it meant finding out if Ororo was safe.

"Hell no! F . . ."

"So . . . what're you going to do? She's a good woman, Vic."

"I don't run after no woman. It ain't like we was living together or somethin'."

"Then what the hell else would you call it?"

Victor took a look around at the small room and shook his head. "She don't even have no tampons here."

He was right. The room, though comfortable and pleasant, had nothing that reminded them of a woman and nothing that reminded them distinctly of her except the simple reorganization and her plants that she tended to weekly. Logan got up to see if they needed water. He didn't want them to be dead when she came back. He was certain she would come back.

Victor grabbed his jacket from the back of the Lazy Boy he'd been sitting in and with a scowl at Logan he strode to the door.

"I gotta get outta here."

"You want me to call you if she comes back?" Logan asked.

"Do what you want," Victor said before the door shut behind him.

For the six days that Ororo had been gone she had stayed out of contact with everyone most especially Victor. She'd traded flights with a couple of girls and taken to the skies as she often did when she had problems and needed time to think them through. Now as she pulled up in front of Victor's apartment she was hoping Logan would have disappeared permanently so she and Victor could work things out. Unfortunately things didn't go as she'd hoped.

"Hey," Logan said when he opened the door.

She tugged the keys out of the lock and stifled a groan. He was still there! And by the look of it he still wasn't planning on going anywhere. She watched him as he went up to the loft wondering if he thought he was going to move in there or something. Hands on her hips she shook her head. She couldn't have Logan moving in with them. She hadn't even had a chance to move in yet!

"This is ridiculous," she muttered thinking that was the last thing she wanted to do, move in with Victor and yet – why not? Wouldn't that solve the whole problem? If she were there then Victor would surely put Logan out.

"Where's Victor?" she asked as she shut the door and set her luggage in the usual place by the door.

"He's out."

Did out mean gone out for more beer? Most likely. If she didn't known better she would have sworn Victor and Logan were full fledged alcoholics. She'd never seen any man drink as much as they did without being affected by it. She had thought he would have taken her hint and moved out by now but obviously she'd been wrong. She wondered if leaving had been the wrong thing to do as she ran a hand lightly over the nearest Lazy Boy before sitting down in it. She was still in her uniform and Logan was in the loft moving things by the sound of it. She pulled the lever on the side of the plush chair and found herself extended so her body was almost parallel to the floor. She had to admit it was the most comfortable chair she'd ever experienced. She closed her eyes and smiled. Victor wasn't half as crazy as she sometimes thought. A good thing but still surprising.

"Vic says you run – you wanna go running tomorrow morning?" he asked from the loft.

"It's going to rain," she replied as she looked around the apartment.

"Nah it ain't – just watched the news an hour ago."

"Trust me it's going to rain."

Logan peeked over the loft wall and frowned down at her.

"Anything new happen while I was away?"

"You mean with me or Vic?" he asked as he came down and sat in the Lazy Boy beside her.

She looked at him a moment before replying, "Both of you."

"Vic missed a few days of work, been recycling like a champ though," Logan said with a grin.

"Recycling?"

So it was as weird to her as it was to him, he thought.

"How's he been?"

"Had the flu, didn't die, he's fine."

"He didn't tell me. I wonder why."

"You called him?"

He knew she hadn't, thought she'd done it to teach Victor a lesson which was pointless because Victor didn't work that way. Logan didn't know what was going on with them but he had a feeling they were on shaky ground. It was why he had stayed. As bad as it was to hope things didn't work out for them he still hoped for that.

"No. I didn't. Sometimes a woman wants a man to call her, to come after her to show her he cares," she said with more feeling than she'd meant to show.

"He tried calling you but you didn't answer," Logan said. He remembered telling Victor not to call the last time she went away. A woman got to thinking she owned a man if he called too much.

She unbuttoned her uniform jacket and let it hang loose then got up and went into the kitchen.

"Saw Yukio last night, she's been wonderin' where you were too," he said as he followed her.

"What?" She turned on him, stunned. "You saw Yukio? I thought you didn't like her?"

"Never said I didn't like her. She's cute and fun. Maybe a little too perky but we get along okay."

He was feeling good now. The surprised look and now the displeasure wasn't something she even tried to hide. He'd had a good time with Yukio but it wasn't anything like a romance, not yet. He could tell Yukio kind of wanted more the way she teased him about being a born again virgin but he wasn't ready to go there yet – not quite.

"Seen her a few times. Played some pool, had a beer or two, saw a movie."

She didn't know what to say. Yukio hadn't told her she was seeing Logan but Ororo hadn't returned anyone's calls either. She hadn't turned her phone on once, just hadn't wanted to talk.

"How was work – that's where you were right?"

"Fine."

"You were gone longer than we thought you'd be."

"I took a holiday."

"Yeah?"

"Why not?"

"Hey, I was just askin' a question, you don't have to bite my head off."

She pulled the last bottle of water from the fridge and shut the door hard. He was amused watching her struggle with the cap and finally he took the bottle from her. He felt really, really good and he easily unscrewed the cap then handed the bottle back to her.

"Keep it," she said and turned on her heel leaving him alone in the small space.

"What's eating you?" he asked, tossing the bottle into the sink and following her out.

"Nothing."

"You've been getting' mad a lot lately."

"I'm as human as anyone else."

"Could've fooled me."

An angry glare was thrown his way and he laughed. Yep, he was feeling just great.

"Don't you wanna know how she's doing?"

"Who?"

"Your friend."

"What about Jean?"

"What about Jean? I haven't seen her in weeks."

"Does Yukio know about Jean?"

"There ain't nothin' to tell her."

"Perhaps that you were with her for seven years."

He shrugged. "What difference does it make?"

"Yukio isn't the steady type. She doesn't like commitment."

"Neither do I."

He might as well have added, "So there!" they both thought.

"Hey, where you goin'? I was just messin' with you," he said, alarmed that she was at the door and kicking at her luggage trying to unlock the brake so she could leave.

"I'm tired. It was a long flight."

"So lie down, get some sleep," he said as he pulled the luggage away from her.

"I'm restless, not tired. I just want to go home."

"You're real cranky – like a kid who missed his nap."

"How would you know about kids and naps?"

"Mariko."

She was taken by surprise at this admission. Had there been a child?

"She had a foster daughter 's all."

"Oh."

While she looked down at the floor he suddenly felt guilty. He'd been fishing, hoping to get answers from her and she'd taken the bait the wrong way. All he'd gotten was a smoldering anger from her.

"Yukio is one of my best friends, Logan but she's not good with men," she said, her hand fumbling for the doorknob determined to leave even if it meant leaving without her luggage.

"I-I don't want you to get hurt again," she mumbled as she turned to the go. "Tell Victor I'll see him later will you?"

"If you don't want me to see her I won't," he blurted out pulling her around to face him.

"I – I . . . you should do whatever makes you happy," she said, stepping away from him.

"I don't like seeing you this way," he said, pulling her back.

She closed her eyes. He looked at her lips. Her tongue darted out slightly wetting them as she opened her eyes.

"You – you want a drink?" he asked, letting her go and she nodded, wetting her lips again suddenly feeling parched.

"Drink sounds good to me," a familiar voice announced.

They both stepped back as Victor opened the door. He glanced at Ororo briefly, his lips in a tight line then he moved past them into the kitchen. Ororo stood by the door trying to decide whether to stay or go. Logan looked at Ororo then shut the door. They both watched Victor whom they could see clearly in the kitchen. He pulled something from the high cabinet above the refrigerator and went about getting something to drink they both assumed. When he came out he looked at Ororo, his face a shocking sight. Instead of the smug blasé look they both expected his face was full of misery. His mouth twitched as he dropped his eyes. He looked as if he'd been up all night and hadn't shaved in days Ororo noticed.

"Lo, dude give us a few minutes," Victor said as he handed Ororo a glass half filled with an amber liquid.

"What's this?" she asked.

"Whiskey an' Coke, drink it."

She took a sip, nodded appreciatively then took another sip.

"It's not bad. Thank you."

"Yeah. Just drink it – all of it. Yo, Lo book!"

Logan started to say something then shook his head and let himself out. He stood by the door thinking to keep watch. If he hurt her, if she even so much as whimpered he would be in there in seconds.

"Ro . . . baby . . ."

She waited for him to go on but he moved away from her and began pacing from the door to the bed.

"What's wrong?"

"Maybe you oughta sit down," he said wearily. "What I got to say ain't gonna be easy."

"I don't . . ."

"Just sit an' listen."

She sat down on the edge of a Lazy Boy suddenly feeling very nervous. He swallowed hard, sighed then said,

"It ain't good baby. I – I didn't mean for it to happen. You gotta understand that."

"What? What're you talking about?"

"I gotta tell you somethin' you ain't gonna wanna hear."

If it was as bad as he was making it seem she didn't want to hear it. She stood up feeling as if she couldn't breath but Victor pushed her gently back down. He took her clammy hands into his own sweaty hands as he squatted before her. She looked into his dark eyes her own eyes wide with unhidden fear but Victor said nothing just continued looking deep into her eyes as if trying to read her thoughts. He had no choice but to tell her . . . everything now – the stakes had changed.

"Why don't you ever call me sweetie or boo like them other women call their sweeties?" he asked, unexpectedly.

"I . . ."

"You ain't like no other woman, baby. You're too good for me you know that?"

"I do put up with a lot," she teased.

"You know I love you."

"No! No, I didn't know that, Victor. Is that what you wanted to tell me?" she asked, hesitantly.

"No, not really. I didn't plan on tellin' you that but it's somethin' you need to know."

Her stomach lurched. There was more? How bad could it be?


	18. The Never Ending Nightmare

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin**

**Chapter Eighteen – The Never Ending Nightmare**

**A/N** – This is a little rushed but here it is. Thank you for your encouraging reviews. I'm glad you're still reading and enjoying!

A few hours ago Ororo had been flying back to Los Angeles her mind full of turmoil as she'd thought about Victor and Logan. Just half an hour ago she'd been on the highway sitting in interminable traffic feeling the beginnings of excitement mingling with her anxiety. She'd missed Victor. She could also admit that she had missed Logan. Her anxiety increased at this thought but she'd made up her mind – Logan had to go. She would move on with Victor. It was time to ask him where he thought they were headed, time to make him confess their relationship was something more than amazing sex, something that had staying power . . . or not.

That had been her conclusion then but now as she sat on the edge of a huge monstrous chair that she never would have purchased in a million years she wasn't so sure she was ready. Victor loved her, or so he'd said, and she'd seen it in his eyes. She believed him but how could that be so awful? Had he somehow discovered her confused feelings toward Logan – or even worse, had he discovered Logan liked her? But that would be crazy because Logan didn't like her. She'd obviously been mistaken and the discovery had left her feeling foolish. There was no doubt in her mind that Logan, if he had liked her, had moved on and he'd moved on with her best friend Yukio. So no, that couldn't be it.

As the knot in her stomach tightened she reassured herself that it couldn't be any of the things she was thinking and therefore not as awful as Victor was pretending – unless . . . unless . . . ? Was he going to ask her to marry him? Was that it?

Victor saw Ororo's lips curl slightly downwards as if she were going to be ill but almost as suddenly he saw a distant look pass over her face. He had no way of knowing she was imagining life with Victor and with little Victor's running around. All he could see was that she looked vaguely repulsed and he had to close his eyes to keep from losing his nerve to say what he had to.

"Look, Ro just don't say nothin' just let me tell you everything but – but you gotta promise that you ain't gonna hate me," he said and then the phone rang.

It was Ororo's cell. She picked up her purse and looked at the number feeling a sense of relief. She simply didn't want to continue their conversation with the way it was going. She turned a little away from Victor and with some hesitation answered it.

"Hi, Aurora how are you? Good." It was Jean. "I-I thought maybe you'd heard from Logan. Have you? I really need to talk to him. He usually stays with Victor when he's mad at me. He knows I won't go over there because - well, that doesn't matter. Aurora, is he with Victor do you know, have you seen him?"

"I really don't want to be dragged into this," Ororo said.

"He hasn't been going to his usual places after work, I've checked. I mean not that I care or anything of course. I've even moved on with someone else but it's not like him to just up and disappear. You know we've always remained friends when we . . . broke up. Aurora, are you sure you don't know where he is?"

This whole conversation had thrown Ororo for a loop. She'd assumed Jean wanted to have lunch or go shopping but this – this was too much. And what was up with Jean calling her Aurora all the time?

"Hello? Hello? Aurora, Can you hear me?"

It would have been easy to say she was entering an elevator or a garage and they were losing their connection but Ororo wasn't one to lie so with a sigh she answered.

"I've been working a lot, Jean. In fact I just got back in today. You know you can always ask Victor."

There was a long pause in which Ororo wondered if Jean was considering this option. She hoped she wasn't because the look on Victor's face after she'd made the suggestion showed he would be thoroughly pissed with both of them if Jean did.

"I know Victor's your boyfriend and everything, Aurora but we don't get along – at all. He'd just lie anyway. Although maybe if you ask him he'll tell you, just don't tell him I'm the one who asked you to ask him."

"Jean, I don't think it would look right if I started asking about Logan for you, do you?"

"I . . . well I don't see why not! It's not like Victor's smart enough to figure it out and besides he hates me."

The comment gave Ororo a moments pause. She'd known as soon as she'd seen the number that she shouldn't have taken the call and now Jean was insulting her man! Finally she said,

"I'm not getting involved."

"I thought we were friends, Aurora. I thought you'd want to help me."

"I thought you were seeing someone else and for the last time my name is Ororo not Aurora!" Ororo retorted.

There was a brief silence, then – "It – it didn't work out. I made a mistake, a terrible mistake . . ."

Ororo felt a chill go down her spine at the sound of Jean's desperate voice. She'd never heard Jean sound anything less than confident.

"I love Logan and he loves me and we can work things out if he'd give me another chance, I know it."

"I'm – I'm sorry to hear that, Jean but there isn't anything I can do."

"You could if you wanted to! Victor knows where he's hiding out and if you'd only ask I wouldn't be so miserable!"

"Jean, I can't help you. I'm sorry but I can't. I'm sorry."

"You're not sorry! Victor's probably made me out to be some crazy shrew and he's convinced you not to tell me anything. Well, I'll find him and when I do I'll make damn sure he never ever sees Victor again. You think that animal's so perfect but you'll see, you'll see!" Jean shouted before she hung up.

Okay, so that hadn't gone as well as it could have, Ororo thought as she turned her cell phone off but at least she hadn't called her Aurora again. That was beginning to get on her nerves.

"She told you?" Victor said when Ororo put her cell back into her purse.

"Told me? Told me what?"

A look of relief flashed over Victor's face but it was quickly replaced with one of determination. He thrust a piece of paper at her and waited for her to read it. Ororo perused the paper not understanding the scribbled writing.

"What is this? You want me to get this filled for you?" Ororo asked as she turned the prescription over and saw the other side was blank.

She was more than a little irritated after having spoken to Jean and now having to play guessing games with him

"I saw that doctor – like you wanted me too. I made a appointment when you didn't come back."

"Oh, Victor! Are you sick? Is it serious?"

"Look, Ro baby, sweetie I made a mistake. I – I didn't mean too. You gotta try an' understand."

"Understand what? What's wrong with you?"

"I . . . I slept with . . . I slept with someone an' . . . an' I got AID's – I mean I got HIV."

Everything stopped for Ororo in that moment. And then Logan was rushing into the room pulling her away from Victor and only then did she realize she was screaming.

"What happened?" Logan asked as he held her back from Victor. "What did you do to her, man?"

Victor glared at Logan then glanced at Ororo feeling completely lost. He was barely able to shake his head. There was no way he could tell his best friend the ugly truth.

"Let me go! Let me go!" Ororo cried as she fought Logan.

"Are you okay, 'Roro? Did he hurt you?"

"I'm fine! I'm fine! Let me go!" she shrieked. Try as she might she couldn't lower her voice or stem the panic that had welled inside her.

"Calm down then and tell me what happened!" he said and he loosened his hold on her.

"He – he . . ." She couldn't speak; she didn't want to say it, she didn't want to believe it.

"Maybe you should leave, Vic," Logan suggested.

"Huh? Me? This is my apartment or you forget that, runt?"

"Don't worry I'm the one that's leaving," Ororo said and before Logan could stop her she was running through the door Logan had left open.

"Aw man!" Victor groaned but he sprinted after her determined to bring her back.

Logan wasn't far behind but he stopped short when he saw Ororo was crouched on the steps, her head against the plaster wall. Victor bent down and scooped her up into his arms and carried her back inside. As they passed Logan he saw Ororo's head pressed tight against Victor's chest and he could hear deep muffled sobs. He felt a rush of anguish flow through him and he followed them back inside this time shutting the door and locking it behind him. In the back of his mind a stray thought turned to the kids that Ororo played with sometimes and he hoped none of them had seen her like this.

He watched as Victor rather unceremoniously deposited Ororo on the bed and then turned around and headed to the door Logan had just locked.

"She ain't gotta leave," Victor said. "I'll go."

And out he went leaving Logan wondering what had just happened. He wanted to comfort Ororo but he saw it would be useless. She was curled up in a tight ball and rocking back and forth but instead of crying she was moaning. The sound was awful. It made him feel like running out and following Victor and the more she moaned the more convinced that's what he needed to do.

He found Victor sitting in his Spyder staring straight ahead. Logan sighed. He hated the Spyder, it was too little for one thing but he opened the door and got in.

"What the hell did you do to her?" Logan demanded even before he sat down.

"It ain't none of your business, bro just leave it alone," Victor said with a look that warned Logan to heed his words.

"Man, she freaked out! You had to do something to make her act that crazy! 'Roro don't do crazy – she ain't like . . . well, you know what I mean."

Victor ran both hands through his disheveled hair then dropped his head onto the steering wheel, his hands gripping it as if he wanted to rip it from the console.

"I really messed up," Victor said, his voice calmly detached and then he looked up at the apartment, his eyes on the entrance, hands still on the steering wheel.

Logan looked up to see what he saw but there was no one there. It was dark now and though he'd seen some children playing across the street sitting in the slick little convertible all he could hear was Victor's ragged sigh. It was obvious Victor felt guilty over something; Logan could see it on the man's face.

"I got AID's," Victor said.

"What . . . did you just say what I think you just said, man?"

"You heard me douche bag. Now you see why she went all crazy on me like that."

They sat there a long time in the stifling silence both watching the entrance. A lady came out after a long while and soon a little boy and an older girl came trailing behind her. Finally Logan got out. He paused a moment to see if Victor had anything else to say but Victor's eyes never veered from the entrance. Logan didn't bother to say anything he simply slammed the car door shut and went up to the apartment.

"We can work this out . . . he's not telling me everything! I – we need to talk," Ororo was muttering to herself.

She had eventually gotten up with ever intention of leaving but when she found the men had left she'd changed her mind. She'd drank the rest of the whiskey and coke like it was soda and going into the kitchen she'd poured herself another one and even though it was much stronger than the one Victor had made for her she'd drank that down almost as fast. The alcohol had slowed her down and enabled her to take a better look at her situation. Victor was HIV positive, he loved her, he'd even ran after her when she'd started to leave, something every woman wanted a man to do but he still was HIV positive. The more she thought about it the more she realized something wasn't right.

When she'd met him she'd told him flat out he'd have to have an AID's test and she'd need the proof. A week later he'd handed her a piece of paper just like he had today. The results had been negative and he'd insisted that he always used protection and then had run off a long list of why he used protection. Most of the reasons involved avoiding scheming, clinging women out to get him for his good looks, his car, his money and of course his body.

And yet AID's just didn't spring up out of nowhere! To be HIV positive now meant that he had to have just gotten it and how was that possible? How would he know so soon? It was obvious Victor was either playing a sick joke or either he was very confused. He wasn't the brightest person she knew so maybe he'd made a mistake?

As she contemplated all this she helped herself to another drink and perched herself up onto the kitchen counter. She sat there drinking whiskey and coke in the silent darkness with only a feeble light coming from the thin fluorescent under the sink.

"You okay?" he asked, his voice startling deep but filled with concern.

He stood in the makeshift doorway a short dark shadow.

"Victor told me," Logan said as he took a step into the small area.

He watched her as she watched him approach. He saw she had stopped crying. She saw the cause of all her problems and she leaned over and yanked him by the t-shirt but so doing she nearly fell off the counter. He caught her about the waist and settled her back on the counter but she caught him by the t-shirt again and leaned in close to him. He could smell the alcohol on her breath and it made him pull back a bit.

"It's all your fault!" she breathed pulling him back to her.

"'Roro, you're drunk!"

"It's your fault I'm in this mess," she said again, her words slightly slurred.

"Huh?"

"You – you had to move in here! You've driven us both mad!"

"Okay, I think you need some coffee."

"I hate coffee."

"I thought you didn't like alcohol either but you're freakin' toasted!"

"I am not!"

He placed both hands on the counter one on either side of her hips and looked up at her with an amused grin.

"How's it my fault, darlin'?" he asked.

But she didn't answer. Instead she pulled him closer and kissed him. It took him by surprise but he kissed her back, his arms going around her waist holding her almost too tight. There was no time to think about what he was doing and like a starving man he took all he could get not minding the taste of whiskey on her breath or that she was intoxicated.

"You should have said something," she whispered as she pressed her forehead to his. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you . . ."

"You know what I mean."

At that moment the door opened and closed. At the sound of Victor's heavy footsteps crossing the bare wooden floor Logan made a choice. He let her go and moved off to the side.

"'S up?" Victor asked.

He found them staring at each other. Neither of them answered. He saw her pick up the whiskey bottle and pour some, a lot actually, into her glass.

"What's goin' on?" he asked.

"Well, Vic your girl's drunk."

"What the hell? You don't even drink!" he exclaimed but then he remembered why she needed a good stiff drink and that it had been his idea in the first place and he said,

"Oh. All right then, come on."

He made to pick her up but she tried to push him away. Angry now, he grabbed her and carried her out of the kitchen while she struggled against him. She fought him until she fairly leapt from his arms but she fell hard, hit her head on the floor and then didn't move. Logan raced to her and the men both knelt beside her.

"I killed her," Victor said, flatly.

"You didn't kill her she's still breathing you just knocked her out. Help me get her to the bed."

"But, we shouldn't move her."

"She couldn't've broken anything," Logan said. "What? You wanna just leave her on the floor?"

"I dunno, I dunno," Victor mumbled.

While they each thought about the best thing to do Ororo stirred. They watched her anxiously as she sat up slowly.

"You're all right!" Victor exclaimed.

"What? What's going on?" she asked.

"You . . . um . . . fell," Logan said.

"I fell? Oh, that's why my head hurts."

"I'll get you some aspirin," Victor said and he got up and hurried to the bathroom.

"Darlin' you know your name?" Logan inquired.

"My name? Of course I know my name!" Ororo replied indignantly.

"What is it then?" Logan asked, smiling at her testiness.

"Are you crazy?"

"Just wanna make sure you're okay is all. You hit your head pretty hard, probably have a concussion. Why don't you just humor me, okay?"

After a short sigh she said, "My name's Ororo Munroe. See."

"Good. How old are you?"

"Why you askin' her that?" Victor asked as he returned with a glass of water and a bottle of aspirin.

"Just wanna make sure she's okay."

"Ain't we supposed to ask her what year it is then?"

"What year is it?" Logan asked.

"I-I . . . don't know. But I don't care either."

"Okay can you tell me how old you are?"

"Maybe you shouldn't ask her that, Lo bro."

"Why not?"

"How we gonna know if she's tellin' the truth or not?"

"Don't you know how old she is?"

"I don't need to know how old she is. Ask her somethin' else."

"I can't believe you don't know how old I am! Just tell me what year it is," Ororo snapped, giving Victor a vile look that almost matched the look Logan was giving him.

"Two thousand five," Victor quickly replied.

"Then I'm twenty-five. I'm twenty-five! Yes!" Ororo said with sudden joy.

"Sounds about right," Victor said when Logan looked at him questioningly.

"If it's 2005 I'm twenty-five. I was born in 1980, an even year, so I always know how old I am if I know the year."

"She's fine," Victor said.

"When's your birthday, 'Roro?"

"It's in December."

"December? Well if that's true then you're twenty-four," Logan said.

"I'm twenty-five if it's 2005."

"What the hell does it matter how old she is if we don't none of us know?" Victor roared.

Suddenly Ororo twisted to the side away from Logan and threw up.

"Concussion," Logan murmured while Victor made a sound of disgust.

"Get . . . him . . . away from me," she moaned.

"Nothing wrong with her memory," Victor muttered.

"I can't believe I just threw up! What's wrong with me? I feel awful."

The men looked at each other, neither of them sure what was wrong and so neither said anything although Victor quickly moved to help her up.

"I don't need your help," Ororo said before she got up and went into the bathroom to clean up.

"She hates me," Victor said while Logan went into the kitchen to find something to clean up the vomit.

"What did you expect?" Logan asked when he came back in with a bucket he'd found under the sink and a dish towel.

The sad thing about it was that Victor had expected just that. He would have hated her if she'd confessed to everything he'd done. What woman wouldn't hate a man like him?

"Don't even think about sleeping with me," Ororo said when she came into the room wearing a robe and smelling fresh.

It hurt him to see she avoided getting anywhere near him as she made her way to the bed. He knew she must be feeling pretty bad though when she got into bed and pulled the covers over her head. It reminded him of that time he and Logan had come home and found her sick and he hadn't known what to do for her. Once there was no more movement under the covers Victor went into the kitchen where Logan was washing his hands. On the way he stooped down and picked up the forgotten prescription.

"She ain't right," he whispered.

"You tellin' me," Logan whispered back. "She should be tryin' to strangle you."

"What should we do?"

"Concussion can't be too bad. Maybe all she needs is a good night's sleep. Guess we should watch her, make sure nothin' happens while she sleeps an' if wait an' see."

Victor nodded his assent and he lumbered out into the living area then sunk down in the nearest Lazy Boy and turned the television on. When Logan gave him a look he turned the volume down and Logan sat down at the makeshift table. While Victor played video games, occasionally looking over at Ororo Logan watched her from his seat and every once in awhile he got up, pulled the covers away from her head then held his hand over her nose to make sure she was still breathing.

The night slowly wore on and eventually he heard Victor's loud snoring. Ororo was sleeping just as soundly. He yawned heavily. He felt like lying down on the bean bag but then out of the blue Victor shouted something startling Logan. When he went over to check on Victor he found his friend sitting up in the Lazy Boy, his eyes wide with terror as if he saw some terrifying thing that Logan couldn't. After mumbling incoherently Victor fell back into the chair, shifted his large body and smacked his lips as if he were trying to taste something or speak but nothing else could be heard. The ominous silence returned and Logan looked around the small apartment as if expecting to see some leering specter watching from the shadows.

It occurred to him that he had never once noticed Victor wasn't having his usual nightmares since he'd moved in and now that he thought about it he wondered why. It was pretty much the norm for Victor to have nightmares just like he and Cain did and probably a lot of other vets who'd fought. What they'd done in the war they had to live with for the rest of their lives but to live and maintain their sanity they'd had to suppress it all – dreams or more likely nightmares were the result of that suppression. Logan still had them even now. But the fact that Victor hadn't had one since Logan had moved in was baffling. What had caused him to have one now Logan didn't know. Maybe guilt about what he'd done to Ororo?

There was no way of knowing so Logan let it go and he got up to check on Ororo again. After a glance at Victor he sat down on the edge of the bed. He didn't touch her but he didn't take his eyes off her as he held his hand above her nose and mouth. What would happen in the morning? Would she stay, would she hate Victor and most of all would things change between him and her now that they'd kissed?

When he felt himself nodding off he returned to the hard chair at the table. He tried to keep watch through the long night but twice he caught himself dozing and in fact when Ororo woke up he was bent over in his seat, his head slumped on his chest. He only woke when he heard her moan.

"'Roro! Vic . . ." his voice trailed off. Victor wasn't anywhere in sight.

"What are you doing here?" Ororo asked.

"Spent the night?" he said uncertainly. She looked so shocked to see him there that Logan didn't know what to think.

"You did – why?" she asked

"Fight with Jean," he said. "Don't you remember?"

"Why would I?" she asked. "Where's my Teddy bear?"

"You talkin' about Vic?"

"Who else would I be talking about?"

"Don't know I guess. Uh, you remember what happened last night?"

"What? What do you mean?"

"Just . . . uh . . . last night."

"Last night," she repeated softly. She tried to recall the events but nothing came. "Oh wait! I must have had a migraine last night! That's why my head hurts. It's that lingering effect after I've had one."

"You hit your head."

"I did?"

"You don't remember?"

She started to shake her head but the dull throbbing made her stop.

"Victor!" she cried when Victor came out of the bathroom.

The men exchanged startled looks. She was actually happy to see Victor. She was all smiles as Victor slowly approached the bed and then she actually jumped up, headache forgotten, and threw herself into his arms. In his arms she felt as if everything was crystal clear. She was safe. No funny stupid emotions she didn't understand could hurt her, no man could touch her, nothing could hurt her when she was with Victor. She smiled lovingly at him and she realized that she loved him though she didn't stop to think why she did. It was a great relief to know her heart finally. It was Victor that she wanted and here he was holding her and . . . and he wasn't even excited!

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"You don't remember do you?"

"Remember what? Oh, right. Logan said I hit my head. Why's he here anyway?"

"He's . . . er . . . living here. Don't you remember?"

After a few seconds she slowly nodded her head. The fight with Jean after the anniversary party, playing in the rain, feeling things she shouldn't – it all came back to her. But none of that mattered now. She sighed peacefully as she clung to Victor. He still wasn't responding to her though. What was wrong with him, she wondered. First thing in the morning and he wasn't trying to get her into bed or the shower!

The confused look Ororo gave Victor told him all he needed to know and so he repeated the same thing he'd done last night. He removed Ororo's arms from around his waist, reached into his back pocket and pulled out the wrinkled prescription paper then handed it to Ororo. Poor Victor felt as if he were living in some kind of never ending nightmare having to replay the worse moment in his life over and over again. He wanted to sit down and get ready for the screaming again but he was too tired to do anything but stand there.

"What is this?" she asked.

"Your doctor's buddy said I tested positive for HIV. You need to get checked."

"What the . . . you can't be serious! Tell me you're kidding! This isn't funny, Victor!"

"He's not kiddin' 'Roro," Logan said.

Both Ororo and Victor turned to glare at him.

"You're not kidding?" Ororo demanded.

"No," he said and shook his head sadly.

"You . . . you . . . you slept with some one else? When? How could you? Why would you? I gave you everything! I treated you like a king!"

"I swear I didn't sleep with no one!" Victor said defensively. "There ain't never been no one I wanted more 'n you, Ro!"

"Then how do explain this?" she shouted throwing the now balled up piece of paper at him.

It soared straight at Victor, struck his arm then fell to the floor, a balled up sentence of death.

"You don't test HIV positive unless you're . . . Victor! You aren't bisexual are you?"

"Huh? Hell no!"

"Okay, did you have a blood transfusion while I was gone?" she asked, snidely.

For a moment he wanted to say yes but he knew he couldn't prove it and she'd want proof. This time around he hadn't had the courage to admit the truth of his affair but now he was in a deeper hole trying to explain how he'd gotten infected without sleeping around.

She saw his hesitation and the look of pain that washed over her face felt like it was his own pain. Both Logan and Victor stepped towards her, each wanting to comfort her but she backed away from them, her face livid.

"Don't touch me!" she yelled. "I can't believe you! You lied to me! And I thought you were different! You . . . you . . . I thought you were different! I trusted you!"

Logan went to her before she crumpled to the floor and she let him hold her blind to anything but her grief as she wept in despair.

"I treated you like a king and you lied to me from day one!" she wailed in her grief.

"Ssh, Darlin' it's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay," Logan whispered.

"How?" she sobbed as she shoved him from her. She swiped at her face anger now replacing grief. "I'll have to be tested. What am I going to do if I'm positive, Logan? What if I die from AID's? I don't want to die – not like that."

"You won't there's medicine nowadays," Victor said.

"Medicine?" she exclaimed as if she couldn't believe he had the impudence to talk to her about a cure for a life threatening disease that he may have given her.

"I hate you! I hate you, Victor! I wish I'd never met you! I wish I'd never been so stupid to trust you!" she screamed furiously.

"Baby . . . !"

She didn't want to hear what he had to say. She didn't want to look at him or be in the same room with him. She raced to the door, wrenched it open and ran down the hall unknowingly repeating her actions from last night.

The first thing Victor wanted to do was go after her but he couldn't bring himself to chase after her a second time especially with Logan there. He didn't spare Logan a look just sat down on the bed trying to think how to fix what he'd ruined. In his mind he had been faithful, faithful as much as he could be. The only time he hadn't been wasn't something he'd planned, it had just happened and it had only been that one time.

Strangely enough he'd been trying to do a good thing for once but it had backfired and there wasn't anything he could do to change that now. He didn't even like redheads but Jean had called him that night after the surprise party. He hadn't meant to go there, had told her he couldn't, it was late but she'd started crying and pleading. He still wouldn't have gone if she hadn't threatened to kill herself. He'd been an ass for believing her but deep down he knew he hadn't.

The memory of her sitting in Logan's bed just watching him while she sat there naked had stayed with him when he and Ororo had gone back to his place. He'd been angry that he'd wimped out and not tried to get with the cute little Asian girl later, hadn't even given her his phone number so he'd had a few more beers sitting at the makeshift table looking down at the freshly laundered table cloth feeling as if Ororo were turning him into something he didn't want to be. When Jean had called Ororo was going to bed and he'd lied, said he was going out, would be back soon and told her not to wait up. She hadn't asked him where he was going because she never did. She wasn't like that but when she didn't ask he'd started to feel guilty and then he'd gotten angry with her for making him feeling guilty. Victor Creed never felt guilty and what's more he came and went whenever he wanted and with that thought he'd gone where he knew he shouldn't have.

When he got there Jean was as naked as Ororo usually met him or had before Logan moved in. She was drinking, slurring her words and trying to look sexy. He didn't realize how much he'd stopped liking drunken women since he'd started hanging out with Ororo and so he'd turned his back on her and started to go. But she'd lurched at him waving a bottle of beer over her head accusing him of steering Logan astray and then yelled at him for not noticing her – that she was a human being with feelings too.

His mistake was that he'd turned to look at her. He'd laughed not believing she'd just told him off, as if he should care she was a human. He'd been ready to cuss her out like she'd never been cussed out and put her in his place but he'd hesitated a second too long taking in the sight of her naked body from the blood red toenails to the top of red hair and she'd taken that as a sign that he wanted her and had fairly leapt at him, kissing him wildly and pulling at his clothes. He would have been fine if she hadn't touched him. He'd only been thinking she had nice tits, not as big as Ro's though and that thought had made him want to cut his visit with Jean as short as possible and get back to Ororo.

He'd envisioned his baby sleeping in the raw like she always did and he'd thought how much he loved that and her which scared him a little but also made him feel good and made him wished he hadn't gone off like that because Ororo didn't deserve that but then Jean was on him and he was already aroused from thinking of Ororo. He'd never been able to resist a woman who had her hands on him. It didn't matter how skanky they were or how they looked. All he wanted was release when he a woman was on him like she was and so he had just done it with her without any thought or regret. But afterwards the guilt had overwhelmed him and he had felt disgusted with himself for the first time in his short life.

He'd told himself he'd slipped; it was a mistake, just this one time, a small mistake easily forgotten, that he'd never mess up again. There wasn't any reason why Logan and Ororo had to find out so everything would be the same. And afterwards when he'd looked at her with eyes full of disgust and hate he'd threatened to kill her if she ever even thought of telling either of them. He'd proceeded in giving her every last grisly detail of how he'd put an end to her pathetic life and do a Sin City number on her if she so much as hinted at what they'd just done.

Because Jean saw the side of Victor that he displayed for the public whom he didn't give a damn about she saw him as a callous animal that used women and bullied men to make himself feel better than them and she had actually believed he would kill her. There was no doubt at all that he would do everything he'd said he would and for long days afterwards she'd seen her cut up body tied to a tree left to be eaten by wolves and so she'd never told.

She'd never liked Victor before even though she was strangely attracted to his masculine physique and his macho act. He was good looking and built like a body builder but in her eyes he was also an uneducated buffoon who thought too much of himself, as if he were God's gift to women. She'd hated the time Logan spent with him and had always felt Victor would be the reason Logan left her. And even though Logan hadn't left her because of Victor or any of Victor's women Jean still blamed him.

After Logan had taken his proposal back and walked out on her the dislike she'd felt towards Victor had turned into solid hate and she hated him the more because she still found him attractive in a sleazy way that was beneath her. She'd secretly wondered what it would be like to sleep with the man who always bragged about being better endowed than Logan who wasn't lacking in that department himself but then reasoning would come back and she'd be disgusted with her thoughts and ashamed of her lust.

But drunk she'd had no inhibitions. She'd wanted him and she'd gone after him but it wasn't only for the sex, she'd done it to get back at Logan. She'd wanted to hurt Logan by sleeping with his best friend; the best friend Logan claimed was so trustworthy, so honorable. She'd hated it when Logan had defended Victor's mediocrity. She'd hated it when Logan went on about their war experiences. And all that hate had made her want to hurt Victor too, to get back at him for keeping Logan out drinking late in the night when he should have been with her.

When she'd kissed Victor that first time she'd wanted to draw blood and her teeth had sunk into his lower lip hard but Victor had been aroused by that. He'd thought she was going to be wild like Raven ready to take as good as she got, something he would never think of doing to Ororo and so he'd thrown her onto the floor and took her without any thought of foreplay. It had been pure sex for both of them, hard and violent. No love, no thought of another day and no desire to touch each other again after it was over.

Shame and fear had kept Jean silent and it was shame and fear that kept Victor silent now. He couldn't tell Logan he'd slept with Jean and he couldn't tell Ororo either. After last night he didn't want Ororo to know he'd been unfaithful even though they'd never discussed being faithful. He knew if the tables had been turned he would be looking for the man who'd slept with Ororo and when he found him he would've killed him. Maybe they'd never discussed being monogamous but he'd been feeling that way almost since the day he first met her.

As far as Logan was concerned maybe he might not care so much now that he was finished with Jean but they'd made a pact and Victor knew no matter how much Logan liked Ororo he'd never go behind his back like he done to Logan. And Victor had his suspicions about just how much Logan liked Ororo but he'd never been too worried about it because of their pact. He could never forget how he'd been with Viper after Logan called it off but he'd easily justified that since they weren't together which made him think it wouldn't be that big of a deal if Logan found out about Jean but he didn't dare let himself think what would happen if Ororo found out.

He didn't ever hear Ororo say much about Jean but he knew they'd had lunch a few times and gone shopping for party things once or twice but he assumed they were close like women usually are and that's why he'd threatened to kill Jean. It's when he'd no longer been able to deny that he loved Ororo. He'd never been so afraid in his life not even in the war. He didn't want to hurt Ororo and last night he had. Today he wouldn't hurt her any more than he already had. He'd lied but only to protect her. He couldn't see her go through the pain she'd gone through last night, not again. Maybe this way she'd hate him but she'd get over that and move on, maybe not with him but she'd be all right and Victor needed her to be all right.

It was the first time he'd ever felt like that, desperate and afraid and unselfish. It was the first time he'd ever truly cared for someone. With Raven it had been all about the sex and maybe things started out that way with Ororo but somewhere along the way things had changed. Now he didn't want to lose that even if he felt he was less of a man for feeling that way. So Victor let Ororo walk out of his life even though letting her go broke his heart, something he'd never thought could ever happen to him.


	19. The Chase

**Dreaming of a Day – Darlin**

**Chapter Nineteen – The Chase**

**A/N - **A short chapter but I'm working on NaNoWriMo and will try to get the next chapter up this weekend or Monday. Thanks for hanging in there so patiently and many, many thanks for the reviews.

xox

"Look, Vic man, you need to go after her."

The laugh that forced its way from Victor's throat was loud and wild.

"Victor Creed don't chase after no woman. You wanna be a pussy you go after her."

"You're an idiot, Vic. She's the best thing that ever happened to you."

"Screw you."

"See that's just what's wrong with you, man! You gotta screw anything in a skirt."

"You don't know nothin' about what I did!"

"Why don't you tell me then, Vic? Maybe if you tell me we can figure something out."

"Figure what out? I'm gonna die from AID's just like she said. Maybe she's gonna die because of me! She ain't gonna believe anything I say an' why should she? An' man, if she told me somethin' like that I'd kill her."

"Yeah, but she didn't and you did you big retard, now you gotta deal with it. The way I see it if you really weren't screwin' around then she'd understand. I mean depends on how you . . . well, how'd you get it if you weren't two timin' her?"

"You sound like _her_, dude! Stop askin' so many questions and leave me the hell alone why don't ya?"

"Vic, bub, you can't just let her go!"

"I can do whatever the hell I want to! You wanna chase after her so bad why'n't you go after her."

"It ain't like that, Vic."

"Like hell it ain't! I know you'd be all over her if it weren't for me. Well now's your chance, runt! Go on! Go chase after her! You think I care? You can have her!"

Logan shook his head in disgust, grabbed Ororo's purse from the table and walked out of the apartment determined to take Victor's advice, however when he looked back as he shut the door the sight of Victor, head in his hands rocking like a child chilled his soul.

He looked for Ororo around the neighborhood since her car keys were in her purse; he'd peeked against his will. He assumed she couldn't be too far from the neighborhood, unless she'd called a cab. He began to worry. Did she have money to call a cab? He needed to make sure she was all right but pounding the pavement wasn't working.

What if she didn't have any money at all? Then what? He hit a major intersection a block over and wondered if she'd gone into one of the stores. There was a little strip mall there, too many stores to check them all out. He swore in frustration. He had to look pretty stupid carrying a purse and looking around like he was lost but truth be told he didn't care. All he cared about was getting to Ororo and helping her and maybe holding her if she let him.

The kiss from last night, so full of longing and passion and even frustration was still fresh on his mind. Too fresh. He shouldn't be thinking about himself, should be thinking about her more. He decided when he found her, because he would, he'd let her cry or scream and take it from there.  
Still, no matter where he searched he was unable to find her. Finally feeling defeated he sat down on sidewalk curb in front of a drug store. He clutched Ororo's purse in both hands wondering what else he could do.

"Leave it to Vic to go an' ruin the best thing he ever had – the best thing we ever had," he murmured because if Ororo left Victor that meant he'd never see her again either.

After a few minutes had passed with Logan looking around the parking lot and stores he heard a faint tune playing and with sudden realization that he did have a means of finding her he opened her purse and grabbed her cell phone.

"How ya livin' girl?" Yukio greeted in a cheerful voice. "Guess what?"

"Uh?"

"I'm back! Bet you missed me, huh? Wait till I see you. You won't believe what Betsy did!"

"What're you talking about?"

"Oh dear you've either got a bad cold or someone stole your phone, huh?"

"Yukio, this is Logan."

"Logan? What're you . . . oh. So you got with her then."

"No!" Logan growled. "She left her purse. She an' Vic had a fight. I'm just trying to find her. She left without nothin'."

"Damn. What did the jackass do?"

"It's too long to go into but she's out here in just her uniform . . . she slept in it an' . . ."

"She probably went home . . . did you call there?"

Logan didn't know the number much less the address and he would've felt stupid for not finding out except there hadn't been any reason for him to ask her those things.

"Can you call? Just see if she's okay an' tell her I've got her purse?"

Yukio laughed. "Sure. Hold on."

Logan waited, his eyes roving over the people moving through the area.

"She isn't there. When did she leave?"

"She's probably broke . . . I've got her purse, Yuki!"

"Ororo keeps her money in her pockets. It's a safer that way when we're traveling. She should be fine. Tell your jerk of a friend to give her some time. Either she'll come around or she won't."

"That's it? I mean you can't call someone else an' ask if they've seen her or somethin'?"

"I would but she's a big girl, Logan and you're being silly. Can't you give her some time to get over Vic before trying to jump into her pants?"

"It ain't like that, Yuki! You don't understand. This fight . . . what happened, it's bad."

"How bad?"

"Real bad."

"Did he hurt her?"

"No, not like that, not physically."

"Damn. So what're you going to do?"

"Find her."

"You really love her don't you?"

"You know how I feel about her."

"But I mean you really do love her."

"Do you have any ideas or not?"

"Anna and Betts haven't heard from her. Maybe she wants to be alone for a while. Oh, I know! Call Remy! He's her best friend next to me. He'll know."

"You think so? She's gonna tell him?"

"Or go to him. She always tells him everything, well usually she does."

"I don't know. This is kinda heavy."

"I'll call him, hold on."

Again he waited this time impatiently pacing the sidewalk. He thought he saw Jean's green car pull out and then he was positive. He saw her long red hair and beside her he saw a thatch of white hair, wild and uncombed. What the hell was she doing with Jean? And what now? He hung up and ran back all the way to Victor's where he jumped on his bike and headed out to Jean's . . . the last place he wanted to go. He hadn't seen Jean in almost two months and had no idea how she'd react when he showed up. He didn't care. All he knew was if Ororo was headed there that's where he was headed.

It was worse than he'd thought. Jean wasn't happy to see him in fact she was bursting with fury. She lunged at him, striking his chest repeatedly all while screaming that she hated him over and over. Ororo stood up wishing she'd never run into Jean at the shopping center and hadn't accepted Jean's offer of a ride. It wouldn't have been so bad if Jean had been true to her word and taken Ororo home but she'd said she had to get something at her apartment and so Ororo had reluctantly gone along.

She'd meant to call a cab but had been wandering through one store after another trying to work through all the emotions she was being bombarded with. It hadn't mattered then. All the way there Jean had gone on about Logan and what a jerk he was. She'd never once noticed Ororo's quietness. And now all Ororo wanted to do was go only she couldn't get to the door without having to walk past them. Logan fended Jean off but she kept trying to claw at him and hit him until finally, exhausted, she fell against his chest and sobbed.

"Why couldn't you have stayed?" she cried. "I loved you so much, Logan. I never wanted anyone else! Why didn't you marry me? What's wrong with me? Am I ugly?"

His eyes linked with Ororo's who looked as if she were guilty of some crime. He wondered if she thought Jean's wails sounded like her own complaints against Victor when he had told her. She looked like she was going to bolt any moment so he brushed past Jean and stepped in front of the door cutting off Ororo's avenue of escape.

"Vic's real worried about you, 'Roro."

Ororo shook her head. She looked alarmed and nodded towards Jean as if warning him to not go there now. He looked confused and not understanding that his lack of concern towards Jean would only lead to more problems he now moved towards Ororo holding out her purse to her.

"You know Vic loves you. And as much as I didn't think the guy could be faithful he has, 'Roro. He loves you that much. You can't leave him . . . what would we do with out you?"  
Now Jean took a step back. She looked at Logan in shock. It was as if a revelation had come to her and she fought with herself, refusing to believe what should have had been so obvious right from the beginning.

"You gotta come back an' let him explain," Logan continued.

"Perhaps you should take your own advice," Ororo said feeling overwhelmed. She took her purse from Logan and slung the strap over a shoulder. She wished she'd never gone to Jean's. She'd thought she'd be safe with Jean and she'd needed someone without any involvement to talk to. She tried to step past Logan but he held out his hands, palms up, trying to keep her there, his eyes pleading with her.

"He loves you, 'Roro. I know he'd never screw around on you. I believe that, you gotta believe that too. We can work this out if you just give him a chance."

"We?" Jean asked. "We as in you and them? What is it you three have going on over there? Are you sick puppies sharing her?"

They looked at Jean, surprised by her vicious comment.

"That's it isn't it? You're in love with Vic's girlfriend aren't you? I should have known but I didn't want to believe she was any different than the others."

Ororo looked at Logan who tried to shake his head to deny the accusation but when his eyes met hers all he could do was give her a pleading look. Jean didn't miss the look they shared. She didn't care that Ororo looked as surprised as she felt right then and she laughed harshly.

"All this time I thought there was something wrong with me! But it was you all along! You want Victor's whore. That's how you've always been. Yeah, that's right, Aurora he's always telling me about Victor's tramps about how pretty they are and why Victor doesn't deserve them like he thinks he's the one who does.

"I've had to put up with that for seven years! I wasted seven good years on this . . . this loser. He's not even a real man. And to think I wanted him to marry me!" And she looked at Ororo as if she were looking at a piece of garbage.

"You knew it too didn't you? That's why you wouldn't tell me where he was or help me. You've known all along! You even pretended to be my friend knowing that my man wanted you. Well, I don't need you either! You're both sick! You're crazy! You know that? I mean what kind of game are you playing? Don't you know Victor is going to kill you when he finds out? You must be stupid! He will kill your stupid . . ."

"That's enough," Logan said. "'Roro, come on, we're getting out of here."

Self doubt held Ororo to the spot. She didn't know what to do or say but then Jean screamed so loud it made her jump and she instinctively headed towards Logan.

"Get out! Get out! Get out both of you or I'll kill you! And I mean it! I will kill you!" And she looked as if she truly would as she ran around frantically searching for something to use as a weapon or to throw at them.

They could still hear her screaming when they were in the hallway. Logan put an arm around her and pressed the elevator button.

"Darlin'. . ."

"Please, don't say anything, Logan. I'm too tired. I just want to go home."

Afraid she was going to cry he wanted to pull her to him and enclose her in his arms to keep all the craziness away. He was never any good with women when they cried but when she cried it made him feel miserable.

Shortly the elevator opened and they got in. Soon they were walking through the parking lot his arm around her supporting her as she leaned heavily against him. However, before they got to his bike, which was parked, at the far side of the parking lot they heard the sound of tires screeching on asphalt. Logan looked up in time to see Jean gripping the steering wheel of her SUV and speeding towards them with the most evil expression he'd ever seen on anyone before.

"Oh, hell no! Darlin', run!" he shouted and he grabbed Ororo's hand and took off towards a tall wire fence that separated the parking lot from a basketball court just a few feet from his bike.  
Ororo nearly tripped but caught her balance with Logan's help. She looked back not knowing why they were running and she saw almost too late Jean meant to kill them.

"Darlin' get up here!" Logan yelled, holding his hand out to her. He was on the fence and when she took his hand he threw her up as high as he could. She caught hold of the hard meal links and managed to scramble up and over though her purse got caught and ripped on the jagged edges.

"If I had a gun I'd shoot you! I'd kill you! Both of you!" Jean screamed. She looked crazed and out of control as she stopped inches from the fence then jumped out of her car.

Logan dropped down beside Ororo, glanced at her to see if she was okay and when he saw she was he grabbed her hand and started running. The fence was being pelted with any object Jean could find . . . a cup holder with coffee mug still in it, a book, a box of tissues.

"Screw you, you son of a bitch! Ha, ha, ha!" she laughed manically. "I screwed your best friend! I had him! I had Victor the night you walked out on me and he was twice the man you ever were! Twice the man! Do you hear me? You can't even compare with him! He's twice as big as you are! Ha, ha, ha!" she raved.

Ororo gasped and looked at Logan who seemed not to have heard her or simply didn't care. He kept running pulling her along behind him. When they finally stopped their flight several blocks away she sat down on a curb trying to catch her breath and gather her thoughts while Logan looked around making sure Jean hadn't tried to follow them. Maybe she'd regained her senses and had gone back inside before the neighbors realized sedate Jean had actually lost control.

"Logan . . ."

"What, darlin'?"

"Logan . . . if she . . . if they . . . do you think . . .? You don't think she was serious do you? She couldn't be telling the truth . . . could she?"

"No. "

He said it with such certainly Ororo almost believed him and yet she'd seen the burning rage in Jean's eyes, had felt the anger leaping off her. Jealousy made a woman do things that she'd never think of doing otherwise but this was beyond that. Some instinct within Ororo told her Jean had indeed slept with Victor and that meant Jean now knew she might also be HIV positive just as Ororo could and that would be enough to drive anyone over the edge.


	20. Hell Hath no Fury Like a Woman Scorned

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin**

**Chapter Twenty – Hell Hath no Fury Like a Woman Scorned**

Without transportation Ororo and Logan began to walk in silence. Logan's apartment was closer than hers so he led her there. He had been back a few times to pick up clothes and pack after the now infamous anniversary party but when he opened the door he saw to his surprise that the apartment was spotless, everything was neat and tidy as if Jean had piddled around while waiting for him to show up one day. He felt a wave of irritation flow over him. It would appear she was still letting herself in as if they were still together which meant they couldn't stay there.

The first thing Ororo noticed were the boxes stacked by the door. She wondered why he hadn't just moved back into the place and changed the lock if he was so worried about Jean but she couldn't pretend to understand anything men did. It irritated her though. She felt as if Logan had somehow ruined everything she'd had with Victor. She'd been happy before he'd moved in with them.

She wandered around the one bedroom apartment looking for the john. Everything was so neat; nothing like she'd expected it. He was looking out a window now and she felt another surge of annoyance with him and herself. At one time she might have felt flustered even unsure of herself had they been alone in his apartment but now she felt as if she never wanted to see another man much less get involved with one.

Finding the bathroom she slipped inside asked but when she went in and immediately cried out as if something were wrong he rushed to her.

"The mirror – I'm sorry, I didn't mean to over react – it, it startled me."

The mirror looked as if it had been struck with a heavy object, possibly a hammer. Its shattered remains cast distorted reflections back at them. Neither of them wanted to think about it though they assumed it was Jean, her earlier antics ample proof that she would do something like this.

"You shouldn't have come after me. Men never do that. Victor wouldn't. Why did you?" Ororo asked as she leaned over the sink, her head bowed low, her palms pushed hard against the cold ceramic.

Logan wrapped his arms around her waist and laid his head against her back. At first she stiffened but slowly her body relaxed and she welcomed the embrace, needing to feel that she wasn't alone in this crazy mess. They stood there for a long time neither moving nor looking up, neither desiring to ruin the peace that they felt there in the clean little bathroom with the broken mirror that spoke to them of all the horrible things that had happened that day.

It was short lived. They both jumped when a muffled noise and a hard vibration rattled between them. Logan reluctantly let Ororo go and pulled his cell phone from his front pocket. He saw it was Victor's number. Ororo turned and took a peek at the number. He heard her sigh but when he looked up she was staring back at the mirror. She looked like she was lost in a world of her own so he left her there, stuffing his phone back into his pocket as he left the room.

His mind was made up. He would give the apartment manager notice tomorrow. They could keep the deposit or not, he didn't care. He couldn't stay there if Jean was still coming around. Whether she still had a key or not he knew she'd had one made before and could just as easily have another made. Changing the locks would do little good. Maybe he could stay with Marko. Then he remembered Cain was out of town on some business trip in New York.

Where he was to stay wasn't important he realized when Ororo came into the living room. Her face was damp more from a face washing than tears he hoped. Her eyes weren't red now and she looked as composed as she always did. He grinned. He liked how she always, usually stayed calm, nothing bothering her much.

When she looked at him his grin widened. She looked fresh and young and beautiful. Victor was an ass for two timing her. The thought made his face turn grim. Had Victor really been with Jean that night? He didn't care even though it went against everything they'd vowed not to do. He even felt they were even now since that one night stand he'd had with Raven but Ororo was right – if Victor had been with Jean that meant she might be at risk too and that meant he might be at risk too.

"What're you thinking about?" Ororo asked. She was moving around the living room investigating every little thing to keep herself occupied.

He didn't reply. He was figuring it out in his head. They'd had that stupid surprise party for their seventh anniversary. Even though he'd been angry about it, hating surprises as he did he'd still had sex with her. He'd been drunker than he had been in a while but he still remembered that night, the sex and babbling about getting married which she took the wrong way. He'd only wanted to do get rid of thoughts of Ororo knowing he could never have her and when Jean had taken it the wrong way, well at the time marrying Jean had seemed like the answer to the problem. He snorted now wondering how drunk did a guy have to get to be that desperate. He glanced at Ororo who was looking out the window now.

He'd never imagined she'd be in his apartment alone with him or that he could have been able to hold her like he had without either of them feeling guilty. What did she think about him? That he wasn't any better than Victor or any other man? Trying to – but he hadn't tried anything with her. He wanted her but he wouldn't try anything. He didn't want her to ever think he was as cruel as Victor.

His thoughts went back to Victor's diagnosis and he started figuring out the days again. The last time he'd slept with Jean was the same day Victor had. Only Logan had always used protection. She'd hated that, said it wasn't necessary, that she was on the pill, but he'd known a few guys who'd ended up being caught like that. He didn't think Jean would have lied and he saw her taking them every once in a while but he never went any where without a supply of condoms. He didn't know if he had the makings of a good father and he didn't want to find out.

So maybe he was okay. Maybe he didn't have it. But what if Ororo did? Victor claimed he never had sex without protection even though he said birth control was the woman's responsibility. Logan didn't think he should ask whether Vic had or not. He didn't know how to broach the subject at all so instead he thought over how Victor had picked up the disease. Could it have been Raven? That would be okay too because Logan had used protection with her that one time they'd been together except maybe he ought to call her and warn her but he was jumping ahead of himself.

"I think that's Jean's car," Ororo said.

"What?" He went to the window and peeked out. They both saw a red head woman clutching a baseball bat to the side of her body as she got out of her car.

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," Ororo murmured.

A picture of him and Ororo making love and Jean walking in on them flashed through his mind and he chuckled. Ororo threw him a look, wondering what was so amusing.

"I've got an idea," he said.

There was a lot of heavy furniture in the room. The entertainment set, the lazy boy sofa and chair were good to start with. He squatted down and reached his hand behind the entertainment set that Jean called an armoire and yanked out the cords form the outlet including the cable then he moved the television to the floor. He was glad now that he hadn't gotten a wide screen when Victor had.

The entertainment set was heavy, made of good solid oak but he was strong and determined and it slid into place over the carpet after a brief struggle. As he was going to retrieve the Lazy Boy chair Ororo laughed and went to help him.

"We're going to make our stand then?" she asked.

He grinned. She was a hell of a woman. If he had to make a last stand he'd want her by his side but this wasn't going to be a last stand. This was just going to buy them a little extra time. Suddenly they heard the door opened a tiny bit and then, unable to open further it closed briefly then slammed hard against the entertainment set. He'd been just in time. Again the door closed then opened but this time Jean tried to peek inside but the view was blocked. Logan and Ororo stood still waiting. After some time trying to push against the door Jean started pounding on it.

"I know you're in there! Let me in! I need to talk to you."

Logan put a finger to his lips and shook his head slightly. Ororo tried to keep the panic out of her eyes as she swallowed, her throat suddenly parched.

"Open the damn door!" Jean yelled.

When no one answered or made a move to let her in she struck the door with the bat. The sound of wood against wood startled them. Jean hit it again.

"I'm calling the police right now," Logan said after the second hit.

"Good! Call them! I'll tell them everything!"

Everything? They both wondered what she meant.

"Don't call the police, Jean. We're all adults – we can work this out," Ororo said despite Logan's frantic waving for her to be quiet.

"I knew it! She's in there with you! Aurora, you were supposed to be my friend!"

"I am – I was – I mean . . ."

"What kind of friend steals someone's man after helping plan their seventh year anniversary party, huh?"

"I . . ."

"You heard me!"

"Jean you have to calm down," Ororo said.

"I don't have to do anything but kill you you backstabbing tramp and kill that lying two timing pathetic excuse of a man!"

There was a brief lull as Jean tried banging the door against the entertainment set and then hey heard her hiss and shouting.

"Stop staring at me! This is a private affair. That's right go back into your own apartment and mind your business!" Jean yelled, clearly shouting at a curious neighbor.

"This is awful – what if your neighbor's call the police?" Ororo asked.

"Not here. We don't usually butt into each others business."

"What're we going to do then?"

"Maybe she's leaving," he whispered and he tiptoed quietly to the door. He couldn't tell without moving the armoire from the door but he couldn't hear anything. He went to the window, padding softly over the carpet.

"Is she . . . ?"

He shook his head. Her car was still on the street. An idea came to him and he motioned for her to join him. He took her hand in his and explained what they had to do. He pushed the screen out of the living room window then climbed onto the windowsill and jumped to the ground. He landed onto the grass then held his arms up for Ororo. He was on the first floor but there was still a seven foot drop. He grunted when he caught her but he didn't let go, bracing his legs keeping them both upright.

"This would almost be fun if it weren't so sad," Ororo said.

He took her hand and they jogged over to Jean's car. Logan still had a key, Jean had insisted since she'd sometimes locked herself out the first year she'd gotten it and he usually drove it when they went out. Inside Jean was left sitting on the floor, her back against the door to Logan's apartment as she cried while he and Ororo drove off in her car.

"This isn't grand theft auto is it?" Ororo said with a grin.

He laughed. He and Victor sometimes played that game on Vic's PS2. She'd watched them several times almost not believing the crazy things the game allowed them to do. It had fascinated her though she'd never had an urge to try her hand at it.

"She gave me the key besides she's beating in my front door. You think that's breakin' an' enterin'?"

"I feel sorry for her."

"I don't."

"That's cold."

"It's the truth. You want me to lie?"

"I don't know what I want you to do. I wish none of this had ever happened," she said.

She covered her face with both hands and breathed in deeply trying to calm herself. She had no idea what to do or where to go. If she went home she'd have to face Yukio if no one else and what if Remy was there? He'd know in an instant that something had happened. And how could she explain this to them? She didn't want to tell them anything at least until she got herself tested.

Thinking about being tested made her think of Cecilia. She definitely wouldn't see her. She felt so embarrassed and stupid to have been caught in this predicament. She'd been so careful! She'd had made him get tested, she'd slept with only a few men, so few she could count them on one hand, three fingers. Three! And what good had that done for her?

They drove to Jean's apartment in silence. Logan parked Jean's car haphazardly by the basketball court. If he hadn't been angry before he was boiling mad when he saw his bike. His bike hadn't been beaten with a bat, no – it had been hit repeatedly by a large vehicle. There wasn't any point in trying to get it upright again. Jean had done enough damage to his beloved bike that he didn't think he'd be able to repair it. Ororo ran a hand along his arm. He stood there staring at his bike unable to understand why she'd done it.

"This is a nightmare," Ororo muttered. "I'm having a nightmare. I-I need to go," she said, finishing abruptly and she started to walk away.

"Hey! Where're you gonna go?"

"I don't know – anywhere."

"You want me to drive you home?"

"How?" she asked as she looked at his damaged bike.

Her question felt like a blow and all he could do was continue staring at what was left of his Harley Davidson. Unexpectedly a soft slightly damp hand slipped into his and he grasped it hard.

"Why would she do that to my bike? She knows how I feel about it."

"I don't know. She's angry, hurting. We're all hurting."

"I would've never thought she had it in her to do all this."

"Love makes people do strange things."

"Not like this. This ain't love."

"She's angry. She thought you were going to marry her and she's hurt because you took it back."

"I was drunk."

"She believed you."

"It wasn't even a real proposal! She should've known better."

"Why? Why, Logan? You're one of the most honorable men I've ever known. Why would she think you'd let her believe you were getting married and then take it all back? Who would do something like that?"

"You make it sound like I did it intentionally. It wasn't like that. I was drunk and I said something I shouldn't've an' yeah, I took it back. I tried to fix a mistake. It was clear cut. I made a mistake an' told her. If she'd been listenin' she would've known I didn't ask her anything."

"Look, Logan women don't see things like men do. I don't know what you said to her but she'd been waiting for you to ask her for so long and then you took all her dreams away. You really hurt her. I would've been hurt if Vic . . . Well, you know what I mean. I know you probably didn't mean to hurt her but she doesn't."

"You sound like you're takin' her side!"

"I understand where she's coming from, Logan that's all. I understand why she's doing all this but it doesn't mean I condone what either of you've done."

"Yeah? Well, why couldn't she see it that way and leave my bike alone?"

"She's kind of gone a little overboard I'll admit that but haven't you ever been hurt by someone you loved? When people hurt they do things they'd never usually do."

He looked at her angrily and though he didn't want to he knew she was right. He'd wanted to help her, make sure she was all right after the news Vic had given her but so far she was the one taking care of him giving him a little hard boiled comfort as they stood in front of the wreck that was his bike. If he hadn't shown up at Jean's place none of this would've happened. He was probably making this the worse day of her life instead of helping her.

A picture of Jean flashed through his mind as he turned the blame on her. It wasn't his fault but Vic's and Jean's. They'd gotten them all into this spot. He'd only tried to clean up after Victor and Jean! Jean was over reacting. It had been almost two months since he'd seen her. She didn't love him like he'd loved Mariko. The way she was acting, destroying everything he loved, showed him that she didn't know what true love was. Mariko had known.

Memories of her death, the awful marriage and break up with Viper came back to him, memories he hated to think about. He ran a hand through his thick hair remembering how he'd gone berserk when Mariko had died after all he'd done to save her. He'd never told anyone, just kept it to himself but he'd felt like he was losing his mind then – sinking into a bottomless pit where he couldn't see anything but red, couldn't feel anything but hate and pain. He'd felt like an animal then but he hadn't let himself succumb, he'd fought out of that funk even though after a year he still slipped every once in a while. He realized he'd been harboring a deep love for her after all that time but it was a love filled with anger, anger at himself and Viper and even Jean. He looked at Ororo and then at their hands still joined together and suddenly he felt deflated as if all the anger within him had seeped out. In its place was a warmth that was steady and good and familiar but not. He remembered dancing in the rain with Ororo and how strange it had felt but afterwards he'd felt their connection, as if there was something more between. He felt that now as he grasped her brown hand in his white one.

"Does she know where you live?" he asked and Ororo laughed and shook her head.

"We weren't _that_ close and I'm always gone or at . . ." her voice trailed off, a note of sadness in it.

"Come on, we'll leave her car here though I wish I had a baseball bat right now. I'll call a cab and have them pick us up around the corner at the store."

"I . . . I can't go home."

"Huh? Whaddaya mean? We got your purse an' keys right?"

"I just can't go there. Yukio and Anna and Remy and probably Betsy will all be there. I . . . don't want to see them – not yet. It – Remy would know. He'd know something was wrong. I wouldn't be able to hide it from him. He wouldn't understand."

"What's there to understand?" Logan asked roughly wondering who this Remy guy was to her.

"I'm – I need time – time to think things through. I just can't go back there now."

"Then where're you plannin' on goin'?"

"I don't know. I'm so tired. I just don't know."

He stood there impatiently as he went over the few people he was tight with but the list included Vic whom Ororo didn't want to see and Marko who was out of town. He considered taking her to Harry's, she could use a drink that was for sure, but he knew Victor could pop in there any time. But maybe that's what she needed. Maybe she needed to confront Victor, have it out and end it. The more he thought about that the better he liked the idea.

"Let's get a drink," he said.

She glanced at him uncertainly but then she smiled and nodded.

"A drink's just what I need," she said.

Deciding on a place to go was a bit of a problem. Logan didn't go to clubs that she might like and Harry's and Domino's were out of the question. He wasn't going to try to seek out Victor he told himself but when the taxi driver neared Xavier's strip club he quickly told the driver to stop.

"What're you doing?" Ororo asked.

"Let's get a drink."

"Here?"

He shrugged. "As good a place as any."

She looked at him and then at the flashing neon lights advertising 'girls', 'liquor', and good times. He watched her hoping she'd cave in and go inside even while he knew he was wrong. Maybe a few drinks was just what she needed he thought not aware that she was thinking the same thing.

"If Victor's here we're leaving," she said.


	21. Truths in Unexpected Places

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin**

**Chapter Twenty-One – Truths in Unexpected Places**

**A/N – **It took me a while to figure out where I was going with this once I discussed this with my beta Skyz. I've changed the direction a bit so had to rewrite. I appreciate everyone who's still reading and will try to be more prompt with updates now that I've worked it out. In fact, next update should be this weekend.

xox

How many times had he felt at a complete loss since he'd hooked up with Ororo? Victor thought it was too many times. He didn't like that kind of confusion – being jealous at the beach, taking care of her when she was sick, not knowing if he'd say something that would make her take off for a week and now. Things were way too complicated. What had happened to him? Letting a woman run him through the wringer like she was? It reminded him of Mystie. He hated Mystie. He hated anything that reminded him of Mystie. He wished he could hate Ororo.

She was gone and Logan had chased after her but he would never chase after any woman. Let Logan go after her like the devoted slave he was. He could talk some sense into her. Maybe she'd listen. The runt always had a way with making you see the logical side of things even when you didn't want to. Maybe she would listen. Maybe she'd come back.

Right. Like he wanted her to come back! Hah! And what? Lecture him, blame him? Hate him? He already hated himself more than she could ever hate him. He hated Jean too and if he ever saw her again that skank was going to be real sorry for messing him up like she had.

All these thoughts circled in his mind non stop, unrelenting. The studio apartment mocked him as he paced the floor. Everything about it shouted Ororo. He wanted to hate her. This whole mess was her fault not his! She shouldn't have been so clingy and demanding. Always there bothering him, suffocating him is what she'd done! What had she expected? She should have given him some space.

Should have. He hated himself. He needed to get out of there. He needed to stop thinking about her, about being sick, maybe dying. He needed to beat on someone. Jean. He wished he did beat women. He'd kill her. He wished he could hate Ororo. He'd kick her out, tell her they were finished.

He laughed. They _were_ finished. She wasn't ever coming back. She'd send Logan back to get her things. She didn't have much to get though. Her luggage. She never kept anything there not even tampons. Well, maybe she should have! His thoughts took a contradictory turn. Maybe if she'd let him know she would be there he wouldn't have turned to Jean. Maybe she should've been up front about what was going on between them.

"Ah, hell!" he spat out. He knew he would have balked had she'd said anything about them being together even though they were and he'd been happy about it. Even angry he couldn't deny that.

Nothing gave him peace. He looked around nervously at the apartment feeling the need to rip down those curtains she'd put up everywhere. He wanted to kick over the table covered in a white table cloth like some fancy restaurant. He wanted to send the glass holding a handful of flowers in the middle of the table smashing across the room. He wanted to destroy every little bit of evidence that she had ever existed but he couldn't.

After standing in the middle of the room for some minutes looking at his apartment he realized the place summed up what was his life. Orderly, neat, everything fitted; it was good – because of Ororo. He'd been well fed, well loved, at least in the beginning. But she had to go and change. When she'd stopped wanting to have sex she should have known he would look elsewhere he thought conveniently not remembering that it was Logan's presence in the little apartment that had put a damper on their love life and that was after his one night stand with Jean.

His anger made him irrational, his need to justify his actions made him doubly so. It was easier to blame her after all if he hadn't known her he never would've gotten involved with Jean. If she had just left everything alone and not put her imprint on his place and his life he wouldn't have gone to that stupid anniversary party or looked at Jean twice.

Despite the anger coursing through him that thought brought him back to reality. He knew that wasn't true. He would have looked Jean over as many times as he'd wanted – any woman for that matter but he wouldn't have wanted her, he wouldn't have slept with her. No. He wouldn't have wanted Jean ever if Ororo had been there for him. She should've been there for him. She was always going off on those flights and leaving the country like her job was all that mattered! What about taking care of him? Huh? Taking care of what mattered?

But that was just it. She didn't care about him. She was acting like him sleeping with Jean bothered her cause all women had to play that role, going into hysterics because they loved that dramatic crap but she didn't care a thing about him. She wasn't there for him; she wouldn't even have sex with him any more unless they were in the bathroom. He should've figured it out then. She was probably seeing someone else! Probably screwing a different man in every city she stopped off in. Hell, he was probably her California squeeze.

Well, to hell with that! He'd show her! He'd keep on showing her too! Two could play that little game. He knew a dozen or more women who would beg him to come over and all he had to do was pick up the phone. Better than that he knew every last stripper at Xavier's! Yeah, that's right they'd all beg him to choose them for the night. The freaky Stacy X, the uppity White Queen, that sexy Revanche and the cute little Threnody, even that know it all Sage would be begging him to spend a little time with them and expect nothing more than that from him! They all knew what a great lover he was. They would even share him too after a few cat fights. In fact he liked it when they fought over him. Yeah. That's just what he needed. And so Victor grabbed his jacket and took off in his Spyder. The day he let Ororo or any woman get to him was the day he'd be ten feet under. To hell with her!

It didn't take him long to get to Xavier's. Not even with having to stop for the ticket the cop gave him. The ticket didn't help his mood. He found a place to park just around the corner and stomped up to the strip club shoving past the small throng of people indiscriminately and none too gently. One person he pushed so hard that the poor man stumbled and fell. The man was dressed in a black floor length robe tied at the waist much like a monk's. The hood to the cape covered his face so that he looked the very image of death save he had no scythe. A bad omen, Victor thought as he gave the cloaked man a disdainful look before thrusting the door to Xavier's open.

Pieces of white papers, flyers the man had been trying to hand out, flew up then scattered all along the sidewalk some skipping off in a sudden breeze but they as well as the image of death were ignored by the few people that remained. It was a common enough sight to any who frequented the strip club this mysterious man warning them of the error of their ways, of their sinful life and not very much appreciated. Victor was used to seeing people staking out the abortion clinics, he'd even seen mothers with their young children being forced to hand out cookies at the adult book store he used to go to, the cookies weren't any good usually, but this man always irritated him so he had shoved him extra hard. Unfortunately it hadn't done anything to assuage the emotions that were plaguing him.

Xavier's was Victor's favorite hide out, better than Harry's and Domino's couldn't even compete. It was the one place that had everything he wanted – it was dark, smoking was allowed, plenty of cheap drinks and naked women in all shapes and sizes and colors. And it was here that he had come to drown his anger and the unfamiliar gnawing feeling of despair he was being overwhelmed with. He planned on topping the night off with any one or two of the bevy of women who all smiled at him despite his brutal behavior as he pushed his way through to the back of the club.

It wasn't his usual seat. Usually he, with Logan or Cain, sat right up front where the women could shake their wares in their faces and shout out propositions. Just then all he wanted was an isolated table in the darkest of corners. He'd hoped to be left alone to drink in peace for a while but to his great annoyance he saw one of the strippers standing there in the back. Platinum blonde hair brushed her shoulders and she was almost naked wearing only a skimpy top in white leather that covered almost nothing and a pair of very low cut matching leather pants that looked like she'd been poured into them.

He couldn't help but give an appreciative grunt as he watched her. She looked appropriately slutty and ready and it was a ravishing sight after what he'd been through with Ororo but something was off. Vic Junior wasn't up to saluting like he usually was. He gave a dry chuckle when he quickly saw why. She didn't look quite as ravishingly as he'd thought at first because she was cussing out at a man wearing dark red sunglasses. She sounded like and looked like she wanted to kill him.

Feeling up to the job Victor started to go over and offer his services but then he stopped. He wondered why anyone would be wearing sunglasses in a dark club. If the guy was trying not to be noticed he stood out like a sore thumb so Victor figured that couldn't be it. Was the dude blind then? But why would a blind man be at a strip joint of all places? Victor shook his head. Emma was crazy enough to do a blind man just for the money as money hungry as she was but it was none of his business and besides two of the waitress cum strippers were sauntering up to him, both with big hopeful smiles. Yeah, the night might not be a total loss after all.

Only Emma wouldn't shut up and the crude words she was spewing were starting to get on his nerves. There was nothing worse than a foul mouth woman and Emma was cussing like a sailor or a jarhead for that matter. The only time he wanted to hear a woman use the f word was in the bedroom. He still hadn't gotten Ororo to loosen up to that point yet but once she'd . . .

"Just leave her the hell alone!" Victor suddenly shouted as if he were trying to block out his own thoughts.

He was angry with the intrusion, the noise, Emma and her scantily clad tired self and that he couldn't stop thinking about Ororo no matter what he did. It was specifically why he'd chosen Xavier's – all the beautiful women there, enough to keep him occupied all night and into the next morning. He didn't need Ororo. Hell, it wasn't like he'd been seeing Jean on the side. She should've at least given him a chance to explain himself. Not that he could make the situation any better but still . . .

"Were . . . you talking to _me_?" the man in the sunglasses asked, in no way intimidated.

Victor laughed. "Yeah, you scooter. You wanna make somethin' outta it?"

"Victor, darling mind your own business. I can take care of this," Emma said without turning to acknowledge her would be knight in shining armor.

"You know him _too_?" the sunglasses man exclaimed.

"Scott, hon I probably know every man in this place. It's how I make my living. What do you not understand about that? You knew this when you decided to leave your little mousey ex for me so why are you in such a huff now?"

"You know what I mean!" Scott muttered.

"Scott, dear, dear boy, what's life without taking a few risks? You're not dead – yet. Now you'll live with more appreciation for what little time you may have left and with more joy. We'll have more fun. It's not the end of the world. You'll see."

"What . . . ? How can you say something like that when . . . ?" his voice fell then faded off. He couldn't go on. He hung his head as if he were burdened with a terrible weight and could see no way out.

"Shush, darling. Mommy has to go entertain the troops. Victor what're you drinking tonight? Beer or whiskey? The way you look you could use a few shots."

"Emma!" Scott cried but she ignored him as she turned her attention to Victor.

The two women who had planned on supplying Victor's every wish had scattered as soon as they'd heard him yelling threats. They and everyone that worked there knew better than to mess with him when he was in a bad mood but Emma felt she was the equal of anyone and had no fear of him or anyone. She cupped Victor's chin in a hand and winked.

"Well, what is it going to be, Victor?"

"Emma, what do you think you're doing?" Scott shouted as he grabbed her by the arm and swung her around to face him.

"Making a living, Scott now let go of me!"

"You heard her blind boy, let her go!" Victor shouted as he leapt up ready to pound his frustration out even if it was on a helpless blind man. That might even prove to be fun.

"I'm not blind," Scott said. "And you don't know what she's trying to do to you, man! You don't know what'll happen if you . . . ! Just listen to me and leave her alone! Emma, this isn't right! You know it! You can't keep doing this! You've got to get help or something!"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Emma yelled, covering her ears so she wouldn't have to listen to him.

"Okay, that's it, dude!" Victor socked Scott once, hard in the jaw and the glasses went soaring as Scott went down.

"Victor!" Emma shrieked.

"What? He ain't blind! He said so himself!" Victor said, hoping Scott would get up so he could knock him down again.

"You are such a Neanderthal, Victor!"

"What? I'm helping you out woman! You feel that way then get outta here! Take your little douche bag and get the f . . . just get outta here before I kill you and him both."

"Victor, calm down," Emma urged as she flagged a waitress down.

"Emma, Emma," Scott moaned as he tried fumbled around on the floor for his glasses.

"Calm down, Scott. Sage, call a cab and have Guido help me," Emma directed the waitress that came running over.

The woman nodded and hurried off. In the meantime Emma picked up Scott's glasses and jabbed them on his face. Shortly a man almost twice the size of Victor came up to them. He was bald except for a lock of blonde hair that curled down onto his forehead. He had on a small pair of round glasses so thick you could barely make out his eyes. Oddly the glasses in no way belied the sense of power he obviously had. His chest and arms were massive though his waist was tiny and his legs looked even smaller somewhat like the Barbarian Twins of old. All in all he looked almost comedic in a very imposing way and the slight grin he wore as he sauntered up only enforced the impression. Half imp, half killer was what Emma called him behind his back.

"Be a good boy and take him outside will you, you strong guy you?" Emma cooed.

"Sure, no problemo. You's want he should be put on the list?" Guido replied.

"No. No, he's okay. He had a little too much to drink this time that's all."

"Xavier gonna be okay with that? You know how he feels about the kid."

"You know I have Charles wrapped around my little finger," Emma laughed.

"Whatever ya say," Guido said then with a nod to Victor he tossed a protesting Scott over his shoulder and sauntered off.

"You better go after your man," Victor laughed.

"Oh, he'll be fine. Scott's like a little puppy dog. Kick him and he'll come running back eager to lick me . . . hmm . . . you know what I mean."

"Sounds sick to me."

"No. Victor it's called love."

"Right. Sick."

"Sometimes. Sometimes not. It depends. Sometimes you take what you can when you haven't had love before. Scott loves me more than even he thought and even more than I guessed at. It's beyond incredible to be loved like that, Victor."

"Sound's pathetic."

"Not really. I make him happy, he actually makes me happy. What could be pathetic about that?"

"You're both sick."

"By the way you've been acting, Victor darling, it looks like you're sick yourself or you're suffering from an extreme case of denial."

A low growl rumbled deep in his throat but he looked away, agitated his eyes roving over the crowd.

"Ah ha! So Sage was right! I told her she was reading more into your absences than she should but what do you know! She was right!" Emma laughed.

"What the hell you talkin' about?"

"You haven't been around for months. Logan we understand, he's completely whipped. Cain is always on the prowl but he's travels a lot now that he and Tom started working together. But you, Victor you're the constant. You're the horn dog. You don't care who spreads her legs for you as long as you get it regularly," Emma said ending her commentary with a casual shrug.

"You're crazy. Crazy as all the rest of these broads."

Emma crossed her arms inadvertently pushing her breast up to be viewed easier. Victor frowned, not even noticing the display.

"Just get me a beer will ya?" he growled.

"Oh, Victor, Victor, Victor! Look at me will you?"

"What? What?"

She let her arms fall and her breast jiggled slightly as she laughed. Then with a swift movement her arms came up behind her neck and she released the one button that held the tiny leather top she wore.

"Hey! What're you doing?" Victor hissed and to their surprise he quickly fumbled at her top attempting to put it back on for her. It was a clumsy attempt and he quickly realized it wasn't going to work.

"You're in love," Emma said very simply. She smiled which surprised them both again. There was no harsh attack or I told you so's.

"You're crazy," Victor mumbled, averting his eyes as she fastened her top back into place.

"There isn't anything wrong with being in love, Victor."

"You don't know what you're talkin' about!"

"Tell me, why are you here? Did you and your girlfriend get into a fight?"

He looked at her begrudgingly.

"Ah, I thought so. Well, Victor darling the best thing about a fight is the sweet make up session. Go home and make love to her but make sure you tell her you're sorry first."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Victor grunted, this time not as adamantly.

"So it's a bad fight then. Well, love cures all ills. Apologize, bring her flowers, candy – Godiva's – and go down on her a few times. You're the best there is when you want to be. She'll forgive you believe me."

"It ain't that simple," Victor found himself saying.

"Love makes anything possible. Do you love her?"

He opened his mouth, started to speak then closed it tight. He sighed deeply then nodded.

"You always know what I'm thinkin'. How do you do that?"

"You're a book to me, Victor. We're too much alike. You've no idea how I messed up with Scott but he's here every night trying to make it work. If he can still love me after what I did to him . . . trust me, what I did to him is nothing compared to what you may have done to your girlfriend."

"You . . . you don't know – it's bad, real bad."

"Victor, I did something so bad – something that might . . . Believe me what I did was unforgivable but he loves me. That Boy Scout loves me with all my faults and idiosyncrasies. If she loves you she'll forgive you. Trust me."

"But it's not . . . I mean you just don't know, Em."

"I do know you're not the same man you used to be. You can't even look at me naked! Victor, face up to your mistake. I know you. You're a loyal friend, the best. A man that goes out of his way like you do for a friend will die for the woman he loves. And for all your bark you're a decent man. What's more I believe you're not the type to be unfaithful once you fall. You're too loyal. And looking at you – see, you're almost blushing!"

"I am not!"

"You so are! Oh, Victor you have fallen so hard you don't know how to get back up do you? Tell her it won't happen again; swear on your life or whatever you hold sacred and hold on to her with every trick in the book."

"She won't believe me."

"She will if she loves you. She will if you show her. Tell her you love her. Every woman needs to hear that. Maybe she'll surprise you. It's hard to accept love for people like you and I but when we do it is the very best feeling in the world and nothing will ever top that – not all the sex in the world or all the money either. Now go home and don't forget the flowers – oh, and champagne too. It never hurts to get a girl a little tipsy first."

With that Emma flounced off feeling rather pleased with herself and hoping she could catch Scott before his cab came to collect him. Victor sat back down, his eyes following her then after a few seconds he got up and hurried after her. Once outside in the cold air the black cloaked man saw him and stepped back almost falling into the path of a cab as it pulled up.

"Zee wages of sin are deaf! Zee wages of sin are deaf!" the man cried.

Another bad omen, Victor thought as he contemplated punching the daylights out of the guy. Guido and Emma helped Scott into the cab while he mumbled about truth and something else but all Victor really caught before the cab sped off were the words –

"Listen to that guy, Emma! He's right! The wages of sin are death!"


	22. Xaviers

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin**

**A/N** – I had to break this chapter up as it was far too long. Will try my best to have the next chapter up by midweek.

**Chapter Twenty-two – Xavier's**

Sometimes when an opportunity appeared it was just wrong not to jump right in, eyes wide open and take advantage of it. This was one of those times. Logan saw Ororo was hurting, had every right to be, and he was pretty sure she wasn't going back to Victor after all who in their right mind would? It wasn't his fault if Vic couldn't control his libido. It wasn't his fault if Ororo hated Victor for the rest of her life. It wasn't his fault if Ororo turned to him for consolation. It wasn't his fault if he ended up with her. It wasn't something he'd planned or even hoped for. All he'd really wanted was for Victor to tire of her and send her on her merry way so he could stop thinking about her and go one with his life. But now here she was beside him ready to do anything he said almost. Anyone would be a fool not to take advantage of that!

Thinking all this as Logan paid the cab driver he had a hard time trying to hide the little grin that kept playing at the corners of his mouth. He was feeling great. By all rights he shouldn't be – there was Jean and her antics and his best friend might be dying and Ororo was hurting – but hell, he couldn't help it. He had Ororo right where he wanted her and he hadn't even planned it.

The best thing was that Ororo was curious about Xavier's, as he knew most women were when it came to strip joints, so it hadn't been hard to talk her into going. She hesitated when they got out of the cab though. It wasn't the bright lights but the sight of a person on his knees picking up flyers from the sidewalk. It was the same man Victor had knocked down only half a minute before.

Logan had seen the guy around occasionally but he'd never thought twice about him. Now Ororo looked as if she wanted to get down on the dirty sidewalk and help him gather his papers but Logan immediately took control and with a hand at the small of her back he patiently steered her around the obstacle. The poor man seemed unaware of anything but retrieving his flyers, which Logan was glad of because he wasn't in the mood for the man's sermons and he definitely didn't want Ororo having to hear the man's spiel.

As soon as they entered the club they both looked around for Victor, neither of them trying to be obvious. He wasn't there. Logan couldn't help wishing they'd tried Harry's instead but of course Jean might have been there so that wouldn't have worked out the way he wanted at all. He wanted to steal away and give Vic a call, tell him to meet them at Xavier's, even though he knew it would be wrong and probably hurt Ororo. Still, the feeling was like a pesky itch that he couldn't ease. He was sure if Ororo saw Victor right now she'd send him packing and the sooner she did that the sooner he could help her to get over Vic. He felt it would be best to get the confrontation over as quickly as possible so in the long run he'd actually be helping her if he called Victor.

"How you been, Logan?" a waitress called out as she came over to take their order.

"So you don't come here much, eh?" Ororo sniggered at Logan as the woman sashayed up to them.

"How come you don't come around anymore?" the woman asked as she plopped down onto his lap totally ignoring Ororo.

The woman was nothing like the voluptuous strippers Ororo had imagined. She had a striking orange tan and short black hair. It looked as if she had sequins or tattoos on her face giving her an almost scaly look. Whatever it was Ororo couldn't figure it out and didn't want to. All she knew was that it wasn't at all attractive and if Logan allowed her to give him a lap dance she was leaving.

"Look, Stacy, I'm with someone!" Logan said as he pushed the woman off him.

The woman almost lost her balance as she tried to get a look at Ororo and stand up straight after his non-too friendly push.

"Where's Vic? He owes me a dance. That SOB walked out on us! What's wrong with you two? We aren't good enough anymore?"

"Haven't you heard," another woman said as she leaned over Logan letting her breast rest on his shoulder. "He's got a bad case of l–o-v-e, they both do," she laughed, spelling the word out as if it were some terrible state of being.

"Get off me, Emma can't you see I'm with someone!" Logan grunted, pushing the big bosomed platinum blonde off of him. "Here," he added and dug out his wallet.

"You and Victor are full of surprises, Logan. So you're with the little man?" Emma, the platinum blonde said.

"Tonight . . . although I'm usually with Victor," Ororo said impulsively. Despite her anger at Victor she felt a strong need to let these women know Victor was hers and therefore off limits.

"Like hell! You've got to be kidding me!" Stacy shrieked.

"Come on, get outta here," Logan said, tossing them each a twenty dollar bill.

"So, you're the one," Emma said, as she looked Ororo over.

Ororo felt resentment building as the blonde studied her but instead she smiled and bit her tongue.

"I wouldn't have guessed you were his type," Emma said before grabbing one of the twenty's from Stacy who had snatched them up while Emma was preoccupied.

"What _is_ his type?" Ororo asked, dryly after Emma and Stacy left.

"Look, what red blooded American man doesn't like women? Who's he come home to every night? You, right?"

"You might want to tell _him_ that. If he were coming home to me I wouldn't be sitting here with you in this sleaze hole now would I?"

"What? You wanna leave now?" Logan asked, his tone sharper than intended. He looked around the crowded club still hoping to see Victor walk in.

"You're the one who said I couldn't trust him."

"I didn't say you couldn't trust him."

"Well, apparently I couldn't," Ororo said bitterly.

"I tried to warn you is all, 'Roro."

She eyed him carefully. He had indeed tried to warn her. She wished she'd listened to him but she hadn't been capable of listening then. What she'd felt for Victor was stronger than common sense. Even now she felt possessive of him which she couldn't understand.

"We ain't all as bad as Vic. I want you to know I'd never do anything like that," Logan said now seeing a chance to make her see him the way he wanted her to.

"Well, that's good to know. Maybe you should tell Jean that."

Where did that come from? If she'd stabbed him with a knife it couldn't have been any sharper! His anger flared and he turned away from her so she couldn't see his face. He wasn't happy with the way she'd turned his words around like that. She kept harping about Jean when Jean and him were finished just like her and Vic. Well if anything he was determined and he'd find a way to make her see that. He swallowed his anger and turned back to her giving her a rakish grin.

"Jean an' I are finished. I've told you that. I haven't seen her for months. You know all that, guess what you don't know is why."

Right at that inopportune moment another woman, this one smaller and younger, her long blonde hair hanging nearly to her hips, came up bearing two bottles of beer on a small tray.

"Hey, Logan how you been?" she said with a quaint Southern accent reminding Ororo of her friend Anna.

"Doin' okay, Paige. How 'bout you?"

"Hangin' in there. You know how it is."

"Still in college?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

"This is for y'all," she said as she sat the two beers down. "On the house from Charles. We ain't seen you around for a spell; he wanted me to tell you don't be such a stranger. Well, see ya – ya'll be good."

"Mr. Popularity I see," Ororo said, no longer finding any amusement in the situation as the waitress bounced off without waiting for a reply

He saw she clearly didn't approve. She didn't look at him but instead looked around the crowded bar taking in the many women customers wondering why they were there. But then she remembered she was there out of curiosity and lack of anywhere else to go for the moment. Maybe they were all hurting or trying to keep their man, she thought.

"I hate beer," she murmured but he was already flagging down a waitress with mammoth breast. "A sloe screw for my friend."

"A sloe screw? Are you sure she's just a friend, honey? You know I can give it to you slow or fast or any way you want it – lap dance or more," Stacy said with a wink as she stepped in front of the big breasted woman, both anxious to serve him.

The other woman gave Stacy a death glare before she left to take care of another customer. Stacy puckered her lips and blew a noisy kiss at Logan before she too left.

"These women are rude," Ororo muttered. She took a drink of the wretched beer and sat the bottle back on the table. "How did you know I like sloe screws?"

"What woman doesn't? It's a girly drink."

Her mouth fell and then she kicked him under the table. He grinned never taking his eyes off her. She took another sip of beer and made a face. He leaned over the table and laughing at her, wiped a little foam from the side of her mouth. Then out of the blue music thundered and a great shout went up. Logan sat back rolling his eyes. Stacy was up on the stage gravitating and shaking everything she had in his direction as if she were trying to get his attention.

"She likes you."

"Likes a couple other guys in here more. Guess they just ran out of money."

"Well, if giving her all your money is the only way to make her leave you alone I guess I could see why she might want to like a whole slew of men."

Logan chuckled.

"You gonna show them how it's done, darlin'?" he asked.

"Are you crazy?" she said in mock horror.

"Hey, another beer and a sloe screw for my friend," he called to a passing waitress who nodded and grinned.

"Darling, if it's a sloe screw you want . . ."

"Emma, can it now," Logan snapped, cutting off the pretty platinum blond who was sitting in the lap of a large man with mutton chops at a nearby table.

"What about me? I'm the one paying you! You're my queen!" the big man said.

Ororo and Logan ignored the two and waited patiently for their drinks to arrive.

"This place is so sleazy," Ororo said after downing half her sloe screw almost as soon as the waitress brought her drink.

"Yeah, in a fun kinda way," Logan replied, waving the waitress back over.

"Victor likes it of course," Ororo stated matter-of-factly.

He shrugged. "Vic's sleazy. Well, you gotta know that by now. Uh, I didn't mean it like that – sorry."

She turned back to the show on stage. She hated that Logan might be right. She wanted to ask if Victor only came to enjoy the show and nothing more but she couldn't. She wouldn't allow herself to go there. It was obvious he was as much a regular as Logan. She'd known they went there but she just hadn't thought they'd been there since they'd known her. After all she thought she'd been keeping Victor so busy he wouldn't want or need another woman. But then that had been before Logan had wheedled his way into their lives. Now she'd lost her man thanks to – to what? Logan? The strippers at Xavier's? Because Victor was a sleaze and he'd never be faithful?

"Two more," Logan said when their waitress finally returned. Applause drowned out her reply and they saw Stacy run off the stage.

"You don't have to worry 'bout Vic, 'Roro, you got him whipped just fine."

Her eyes grew large and she rested her chin on her folded hands, elbows on the little table. She was slightly amused.

"You don't have to lie to me, Logan," she said.

"You should talk to him. Hidin' out like this ain't gonna solve anything."

"Oh, it isn't? I thought that was how you solved your problems. Or at least with Jean since you've been hiding out at our – at Victor's place for months now."

"Ouch. All right, you got me there but Jeanie an' me, it ain't the same as you an' Vic."

"How so?"

"We were together for years. You an' Vic – what's it been, a few months?"

She glared at him. He wasn't making her feel any better. She decided she didn't want to discuss Victor with him and turned her attention to the stage.

Logan realized he didn't want to talk about Victor probably any more than she wanted to talk about Yukio. His conscious started to bother him as he realized he wasn't acting like a friend should. Still, it was the last thing he wanted her to be, only a friend. He wanted more from her and he saw this as the perfect opportunity to get what he wanted. She deserved a man, a real man who would take care of her and never screw around on her or hurt her and he was ready to step up to the plate and be that man. Maybe the way he was going about it was a little underhanded, taking advantage of her when she'd been hurt by Vic, but he'd been burning up with desire for her ever since he'd met her and he wasn't going to blow maybe his only chance even if he knew it wasn't exactly right.

The loud music, the smoke thick in the air, and the din the crowd was making started to give Ororo a headache. She wished she hadn't come. She wished she wasn't there with Logan. She wished she'd never met him or Victor. She wished she could go to sleep and wake up the next morning and not remember any thing. Why did she have to have memories of her and Victor's better times? Wasn't there some point in a person's life when you had all you could stand and then your brain shut down to save you from going insane?

"Miss me?" Stacy said as she sat the two drinks down.

"Right," Logan said. "Hey, have Pierce call a cab in – what 'bout fifteen minutes, 'Roro?"

Ororo nodded as she started on her second drink.

"You comin' to my place? Want a little ménage a trios?" Stacy asked.

"You don't know when to stop do you?"

"Screw you," Stacy said before she flounced off.

"What about the cab?" Ororo asked.

"Don't worry. She's always takin' an attitude but she'll have Donald call one – it's that or face the wrath of Chuck, the guy who owns this place." Logan said but Ororo was sipping the sweet concoction down like it was water not really listening.

They didn't leave until after Ororo downed the two drinks and then she went passively, allowing him to help her up and steer her through the crowd. She laughed when a man approached her as if she were alone but he turned away quickly when he saw Logan put his arm around her waist. She looked at Logan for a second but he wasn't looking at her so she said nothing until they got outside.

"Let me go, Logan! I am not an imbecile – I mean an invalid," she murmured as she tried to walk down the steps but Logan held her securely waiting patiently for her to put one foot in front of the other.

"This is the first time I've ever seen you drunk, 'Roro."

"I . . . am . . . not . . . drunk," she assured him, her words purposefully slow to make sure she didn't slur them.

"You coulda fooled me, darlin'."

"I am perhaps a little tipsy," she said then staggered a little and he caught her to his chest.

"Zee wages of sin are deaf! Zee wages of sin are deaf!" shouted the shrouded man who was apparently there for the evening.

They ignored him but he was walking towards them handing out flyers to people as he went. His voice was soft but firm, his accent thick. Ororo gazed at him as he approached. He stopped before them, head held down and hand extended but Logan shoved the flyer aside and the stranger moved on, his woeful cry sounding like some ghoulish premonition.

"Ignore him," Logan said when she tried to turn to watch him go.

She needed little encouragement. The words had sent shivers down her spine, burrowing into her soul and she shook involuntarily. Logan held her tighter wishing the creep would get lost and proselytize somewhere else.

Some minutes later he walked back towards them wailing his eerie warning. Ororo still stood quietly in Logan's arms. She was starting to feel a little better even comfortable.

"Zee wages of sin are deaf!"

"Come on let's go back in till the cab comes – we can't stand here all night," Logan said.

She murmured something he didn't catch. He held onto her thinking maybe they _could_ stand there all night.

"I think I'm going to be sick," she whispered.

"No you aren't."

"Yes, I am."

"You serious? You want to go back inside?"

"Zee wages of sin are deaf! No one, not one may escape unless you repent!"

"Kurt?" Ororo murmured as she stepped towards the dark figure.

"Ororo," the man said in his soft accent.

"You know this guy?" Logan asked.

As if she hadn't heard his question Ororo lifted Kurt's hood slightly so she could see his face. His face was very dark in the shadows of his hood and the darkness of the night and she could only make out his eyes blazing with love and righteousness and as they peered at her they looked to be glowing.

"Kurt . . ."

"Ororo, what are you doing at such a place, my friend?"

"I – we had a drink that's all," Ororo said then feeling the need to explain her actions she continued – "I've never been here before, never. I – I just had a few drinks."

The two friends stood in silence for a long moment as Logan watched them and then without a word Kurt moved away tugging at his hood hiding his face again.

"What's his problem?" Logan growled.

It felt as if his problem was now hers, Ororo thought uneasily. Kurt's warning – and she could hear his cry again as he went further down the street – was for her! She couldn't suppress the shudder that shook her small frame. Logan saw a look of terror wash over her lovely face and he silently cursed the hooded man but slowly as the look receded he began to relax. Ororo said nothing for a long time then slowly she began to sway a little while humming a little tune under her breath.

"You okay, darlin'?"

"Better."

Quiet resumed. He shifted his feet gingerly and she giggled.

"She'd make an awful wife," she said and laughed.

"Huh? Who would?" He hoped she wasn't going to start talking about Jean again.

"She never stays one place long. She's like the wind."

"You talkin' about Yukio?"

"Yup."

"'Roro . . ."

"Ooop, dere's the cab," she said, her words just slightly slurred.

As they got inside they could hear Kurt's words ringing out. Though Ororo laughed as they drove off the warning, much like Scott before, stayed with her.


	23. Taking it to the Next Level

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin**

**Chapter Twenty-three – Taking it to the Next Level **

**A/N - **My beta didn't look this over for me, conflicting schedules, so please excuse the mistakes. Also, this chapter's has a lot of RoLo in ways I don't usually go into so excuse the awkwardness in my writing. Intimate moments are not my forte. Other than that I hope you enjoy.

xox

She liked the look of adoration she sometimes caught on his face when he thought she wasn't looking. Logan was wearing that look now as Ororo fumbled with her keys. She smiled thinking he was much more handsome than she'd given him credit. She wondered why she hadn't noticed before. He was more handsome than Victor in that rugged sexy way. She remembered how cut he was; what a beautiful body he had.

Logan looked at her curiously, wondering where she'd gone. She gave him a contented smile, her lips closed but she looked as if she were in a different world. Finally she didn't even try to open the door just looked at him admiringly and he had to take the keys from her. Once the door was unlocked he stood there, keys in hand, not wanting to give them back, hoping to be invited into the townhouse but not sure of where he stood with her in this intoxicated state.

Uncharacteristically Ororo giggled then ducked her head bashfully before going inside. Without hesitation Logan followed shutting the door quietly behind him. No one was there and he was glad of that. He didn't care to see the skunk headed girl again with her prying knowing eyes. He put his arm around Ororo then turned her towards him and held the keys out.

"Ororo! Sugah, thank goodness you're here!" Anna said as she came down the stairs. She wasn't alone Logan saw.

"Yukio be lookin' for you everywhere, cher," Remy said, his eyes roaming over Logan once he saw Ororo was fine.

"I – why would she be looking for me?"

"She thought something was wrong," Anna said, her eyes on Logan now. "She was trying to call you, Logan didn't you hear your phone ringing?"

"Oh, yeah I forgot. It's . . . um . . . it's on vibrate," he said lamely.

The answer sounded utterly implausible to them and Anna and Remy both stared at him as if he were an idiot.

"Oh, leave him alone, Anna. Logan's been a big help to me," Ororo said. She threw her arms around her friend and kissed her on the cheek.

"So you Logan den?" Remy inquired.

While Ororo laughed at her friend's question Logan thought about leaving. They'd just gotten there and were making all kinds of assumptions that he knew he had no claim to. What's more his conscious was beginning to bother him.

"_The_ Logan!" Anna said with a wink at Remy.

The alarmed look on Ororo's face caught Logan by surprise. He wondered just what she'd told them about him.

"So we get to meet the saint at last. Bonsoir, I'm Remy LeBeau an' this is my fille, Anna Decanto but you two already met, non?"

"Yeah."

"So you two goin' out now?" Anna asked when the men shook hands and quietly appraised each other.

"What? No! No. I mean we're . . ."

"I just brought her home – Victor . . . wasn't feeling too good," Logan cut in and Ororo gave him an appreciative look.

"Oh and here ah was thinkin' she got rid of that horse's ass," Anna said with a roll of her eyes.

"Will you please not go there, Anna!"

This was only the second time Logan had seen Ororo mad and he was surprised at the anger in her voice.

"Well excuse the hell out of me, sugah!"

"Anna, I'm sorry. It's been a long day. I just need to go to bed."

"Anythin' ah can do for you?" Anna asked, her sudden anger gone just as quickly.

"No, but thank you. I'm – it's been a long day."

"You sure you okay, cher? Remy don think you look so good."

Ororo nodded. "I'm fine, just tired. It's been a long day."

"We were just going out but Yukio an' Betsy should be back soon. You might want to call her, let her know you're all right," Anna said.

"I will."

"You want us to bring y'all somethin' back?"

"Oh no, Anna. We're fine."

"You sure you're fine, sugah?" Anna demanded.

"If she needs anything I'll get it for her," Logan interrupted causing Anna and Remy to look at more intently than before.

"So I thought you were just bringin' her home," Remy remarked.

"I . . ."

"Alright already!" Ororo snapped. "Can you stop asking so many questions? It's been a lo . . ."

"We know already – it's been a long day," Anna said though her tone wasn't as snappish as Ororo's had been. "Sue us for carin' why don't you, sugah but that's what friends are for!"

"Get some rest, cher an' call us if you need anythin' all right?" Remy said as he pulled Ororo into an embrace then kissed her softly on the forehead. "Any thin' at all an' we be here in ten minutes."

Remy slipped a pair of sunglasses on then put an arm around Anna who grinned at him then at Ororo, her mood immediately lighter.

"I'll be fine. Don't worry about me. Go out and have fun!" Ororo said and she patted his cheek gently smiling at the pair.

"We can stay if you need us to," Rogue said.

"Do I look like I need a baby sister?" Ororo laughed.

"Um, cher you sound like you need somethin' to sober you up. Think you meant baby sitter."

"Go!" Ororo ordered, shoving him towards the door.

"You sure, sugah?"

"Remy take her out and show her a good time!" Ororo ordered.

When the twosome departed Logan turned to Ororo and asked, suspiciously, "So what's up with him?"

"Don't pay any attention to Remy. He's kind of like a brother to me."

"Seemed more to me than that."

Ororo laughed now. "Nothing more than that."

"What's wrong with his eyes?"

"It's a long story."

The smile slowly faded from her face and Logan wondered if she was telling the truth. He didn't know she was wondering how Remy would react if she was HIV positive. She knew he and Rogue would continue to love her but would they think less of her?

"You want me to get you something?"

"No."

He looked around the elegant townhouse trying to think what he could do to take her mind off things.

"Want me to make you some tea?"

She almost laughed but her spirits had begun to sink again and she shook her head. What she wanted was for him to leave her alone so she could deal with this on her own. She didn't know why he couldn't see that and she didn't want to be rude but it was time for him to go.

"Why don't you sit down," he said, going to her and leading her to the couch. He pushed her down gently and she complied without a sound. He stood looking down at her feeling at a loss. After a few seconds like that patted her on the shoulder a little harder than he'd intended and she looked up, a scowl on her face.

"Logan, I appreciate your help but I think I'd like to be alone for awhile," she said, her voice brusque and tired.

"Huh? Oh, really?" He glanced around trying to think what to do. He had no intention of going anywhere but she was up and moving to the door.

"If it's okay – you understand, don't you?" she asked, holding the door open now.

She looked so desperate he wanted to smack himself. Instead he scowled back at her defiantly. He walked up to her begrudgingly. Feeling suddenly guilty she reached out and let her hand rest on his wrist.

"Please try and understand, Logan. I'm tired; it's been a long day. I need some time to think, to get some rest."

In one angry move he shoved the door shut and caught hold of her hand and pulled her to him. She caught herself against his chest with both hands and they stared at each other, her unsure and him with a look she'd never seen before. The sheer intensity of it made her knees buckle slightly. She wasn't so tipsy that she couldn't see the love clearly shinning on his face or the desire burning in his eyes. It threw her and scared her and yet thrilled her. She made a feeble effort to push away but he was reaching for her lips, his hand on the back of her head forcing her close, and she had an irresistible urge to succumb and so she did.

It was a soft kiss, very light. The gentleness of the kiss startled her and her eyes fluttered open. He was looking at her with such concern and caring she felt she could get loss in his gaze alone. Then he kissed her again, another light kiss as soft as a feather and she smiled, her eyes closed waiting for the kiss she expected.

But once again his lips left hers and her eyes flew open in confusion. He wasn't playing with her she saw but rather studying her as if trying to read her reaction she thought. She realized he must think she looked foolishly expectant. He was right not to seek more than a gentle kiss though she had wanted more. At least someone was keeping their head about them, she thought.

Unbeknownst to her it was harder than she could have ever guessed at, remaining so calm as he held onto her. But the last thing he wanted was to do something that would encourage her to send him away. She'd been set on sending him on his way just a few minutes ago but now, now he saw she'd forgotten. As she peered at him with those crystal blue eyes of hers for the first time that night Logan began to feel confident he'd done the right thing.

"You're sweet," she sighed.

He really was sweet. Sweeter than Victor had ever been to her. Sweeter than any man had ever been to her. Those thoughts were depressing and suddenly she began to cry. Victor had been sweet – sometimes. The bastard.

"I just don't think you should be alone right now," he replied.

She shook her head and said, "Its okay. I appreciate that you want to stay with me but – well, I haven't been very nice tonight. I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? You got nothin' to be sorry for, 'Roro. Don't you know I'd do anything for you?"

"Logan!"

"I – well, you have to know that. I mean it doesn't change anything. I know you an' Vic . . ." his words trailed off. Where she and Victor stood was anyone's guess now.

But she was laughing softly and she draped her arms over his neck.

"What's so funny?"

"Me I guess. For being so gullible and stupid and pathetic."

"You aren't gullible or stupid, 'Ro!"

His arms tightened around her and she made no move to resist, letting her arms slide under his as he pulled her face close to his. It felt so good to be held, his lips playing at hers feather light. She let out a gasp of pure unexpected pleasure when his lips wandered over her face and down her throat to the side of her neck nuzzling soft and warm.

"You're beautiful and smart and perfect," he whispered before turning his attention back to her lips. But this time the kiss was nothing remotely chaste but hot, prodding and full of passion.

That her response met his own intensity shocked her and she forced herself to pull away.

"Oh, Logan, we can't! I might – you might – we shouldn't. . . I mean – oh! I can't even think straight! Logan, I . . . I might be HIV positive too!"

With one arm still around her he cupped her face in his palm and shook his head. "You don't."

"You don't know that."

"You don't. I know you don't," he said, again shaking his head.

"You don't know that and neither do I! Oh, Logan what am I going to do?" she cried.

He held her, rubbing her back for a moment then his hands caressed her lovely hair, his lips covering the trails her tears made.

"No," she murmured as he raised his face to hers again. "I shouldn't be doing this – we shouldn't be doing this!"

But his lips were on hers before she could protest further and in truth she had no desire to protest. She responded to him meeting his passion opening herself up to him with no inhibitions. Before she knew it he had her in his arms and was carrying her to the couch. Her head was spinning. She felt all her pent up desire for this man ready to explode and yet she knew she was wrong to feel this, wrong to be with him and wrong to forget Victor.

It was the memory of Victor looking so helpless when she'd run out on him that made her want to resist Logan now.

"Logan . . ."

But he gave her no opportunity to speak or think or regret. Sensing her hesitation he lowered himself onto her his mouth seeking hers again effectively silencing her. His heavy body fit perfectly to hers and her arms went instinctively around him. She sighed in what he hoped was submission.

"I want you," Logan breathed into her ear, the little puffs of air tickling and delighting her.

All thoughts of right and wrong and even of Victor vanished when he turned his attention to pleasing her in ways Victor had never thought of nor cared to try. She couldn't help but moan as his lips plied at her throat then the sides of her neck intent upon breaking down all her barriers. And he succeeded too. She let herself go as his lips moved lower. Nothing else mattered in that moment except his intimate caresses so sure, so soft, so knowing that they threatened to overwhelm her.

Somehow their clothes were shed and his large calloused hands were everywhere exploring and teasing and giving exquisite pleasure. She felt helpless beneath him unable to do anything but submit selfishly taking everything he gave her. She could have stayed there with him all night and forever but the sharp ringing of the doorbell shattered that illusion. They looked at each other breathing hard, both united in a wary fear of this intruder.

"That's probably Yukio," Ororo muttered.

"Damn."

The doorbell rang again and again, persistent and demanding.

"I should let her in."

"I thought she was with your other roommate."

"Maybe."

Once more the bell rang.

"Your car ain't here so she's gotta knows you ain't gonna answer the door."

Once more the bell rang but this time Logan ignored the droning annoyance and finished what he'd started, the bells ringing in a kind of eerie summons as he made love to her. But though he could ignore the constant carillon Ororo could not. For her the mood was spoiled. Where once she had forgotten her worries and reveled in the sheer physical pleasure of being loved now those worries all came rushing back. She remembered Kurt's otherworldly chant outside Xavier's. She could see his glowing eyes as he warned her. And as Logan made love to her she was horrified at what she was doing and why she had let herself give in to lust.

The wages of sin were death. Ding dong. Ding dong. The wages of sin were death. Ding dong. Ding dong.

The words of warning raced through her mind with every stroke and chime. Tolling and pounding like a death sentence. She saw now that she had made a mistake. A horrible mistake but she didn't try to correct it. She had gone too far and so she let him finish. She felt foolish and guilty and stupid and sleazy. Whatever attraction she'd felt towards Logan she surely shouldn't be with him now like this after all that had happened.

It was wrong. She couldn't justify it in any possible way. Two wrongs just made everything worse. What if she'd infected him? No matter how insistent he was that she wasn't infected there was always a chance that she was. She loved Logan for wanting to believe she was safe but it was a foolish and irrational sentiment that could mean death for them both because what if he had AID's and was infecting her right now? They should have thought, they should have taken precautions, they should have waited – they should never have done it!

When she stopped moving beneath him Logan was too caught up in the exquisite feel of her to notice much and he kept making love to her. After he was sated and laid upon her, heavy and breathing hard, he still didn't notice. A little while later the doorbell roused them and Ororo forced him off her and sat up but Logan still didn't notice anything different.

"That's got to be Yukio. I can't leave her out there if she forgot my keys."

"Isn't she ever gonna go back home?" Logan asked, gruffly.

"Sssh!" Ororo hissed when she heard a commotion outside.

Several people were having a conversation outside. She thought she heard Remy. One was high pitched, a woman's – that had to be Anna. Then there was the sound of keys. Ororo nearly pushed Logan to the floor she jumped up so quickly. She gathered their clothes strewn here and there as fast as she could and with Logan not far behind she raced up the stairs to the safety of her room. When she shut the door behind him she was out of breath, her heart beating erratically fast.

Undeterred, Logan grinned, grabbed her and tried to kiss her but she resisted.

"We shouldn't do this," she said. "We shouldn't have done it. I might be – we don't know what I might have. Or you for that matter. I never do things like this. And what about Victor?"

"Who did the exact same thing – you forgettin' that?"

"I don't want to remember any thing," she murmured.

He kissed her but she evaded him again. He'd felt her tense at his touch and he cursed himself for going too fast.

"I'll be back in a minute," she said. "I'm going to take a shower."

He wanted to make love to her again and the shower was as good a place as any but he also didn't want her to clam up again. For a few seconds he weighed his options. If he left her alone in there who knew what she'd come out like, feeling guilty or angry. It was the sound of running water decided it for him. He was glad to see she hadn't locked him out when he tried the door. A strange noise like someone choking or gasping for breath reached his ears and had he had any hesitation before they were gone now. She had to be crying!

It was difficult to tell if she had been or not when he slid the shower door aside. Her hair was slicked back much like it had been that day they'd played like kids in the rain. Her eyes were wide and slightly red as was her nose but whether that was from the water or not he couldn't tell. She sniffed slightly looking at him with a little irritation and he guessed she had been. Determined to right whatever wrong he'd done he climbed in with her, slid the door shut and held her, his wet hair pressed against her breast.

"Oh," she sighed, partly in frustration that she couldn't get rid of him but also because being in his arms like that with water rushing down over them felt so good.

Incredibly good. She felt as if she could drown in this new love if she could put all the memories of that night aside. All she wanted to do was forget everything but him and her if only for a little while. The reality was too harsh, too cruel to even contemplate.

"I'll always take care of you," he whispered.

The water was hot, the little enclosure full of steam. It made her feel lethargic and the alcohol wasn't helping even though it had worn off considerably. Logan thought she had actually fallen asleep in his arms her body was so relaxed, the complete opposite of his state of being. He didn't want to rush her but he wanted her even worse than he'd wanted her before. Only when he tried to kiss her again she shook her head and he could see she really was crying now.

Despite the warm contentment he'd felt with her in his arms now he felt guilty as sin. It didn't matter that Victor had been unfaithful to Ororo. They had a pact. It had been broken, maybe twice if Jean hadn't been lying, maybe more for all Logan knew. He felt he was an honorable man, more than most which meant he had to hold to the pact but where did that leave him when all he wanted was Victor's girl?

Nevertheless, visions of him carrying her back into her room and making love to her filled his head as he held her. He thought about making love to her there in the shower but he restrained himself. He had no intention of blowing this. Let her cry till Victor was out of her system and then he'd make her forget all about Vic – forever. Unfortunately the sound of the door opening and then Anna's voice put his plans on hold.

"Ororo? Sugah, you in here?"

Ororo slid the door open a little and gave Anna a perplexed look.

"Um – uh, sorry ta disturb you, sugah but Remy an' me, we got home an' someone was waitin' to see you. Victor's here."

"Victor?"

"Yeah. Said he was here earlier too. What y'all want me to tell him?"

"I . . . Tell him I'll be down in a minute."

Logan caught her arm and shook his head but Ororo sighed and pulled away. Victor had come after her! He was there now waiting for her! Victor! It was almost inconceivable that he had come after her, chased after her as he'd call it. It meant everything had changed. She couldn't help but feel pleased that he had done this for her. Despite her anger with him, despite the fear of what he may have given her she was excited and even girlishly happy.

He wanted to talk, to work things out she guessed. He wouldn't be there for any other reason. Surely not! And he'd never visited her at home before. All this was overwhelming to her. She opened and closed her hands as she looked around the bathroom thinking what to do. Part of her was so pleased she wanted to leap out of the shower and race down the stairs but the rest of her was scared – terrified. She was nervous like a teenager who'd just had her first fight with her first boyfriend. Still, Victor didn't let women run his life and Ororo knew that as well as Logan did so when Anna left Ororo stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel.

"What're you gonna do?" Logan asked, following her, dripping water everywhere.

She threw a towel at him still trying to figure out what she should do. She tried to calm herself, reason with herself. The most important thing right then was keeping Logan's presence a secret. She never wanted Victor to know she'd been with Logan. Just looking at him made her feel decadent and sordid.

Logan wrung the towel in his hands as he watched her quickly dry off. It was as if he saw his life slipping away from him as she slipped into a pink cotton robe and then into fuzzy pink house shoes, almost as if he were watching a wreck in slow motion helpless to do anything and then she was gone without a look back leaving him more alone than he had felt since Mariko's death.


	24. The Jig is Up

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin**

**Chapter Twenty-four – The Jig is Up**

Anticipating that Ororo would return shortly Logan debated whether or not to put his clothes on or just keep the towel he had wrapped around his hips on. After she was gone some time he sat down on the bed and looked around the room. His throat was dry and his hands ice cold. He noticed nothing, his mind downstairs with Ororo and Victor.

xox

"Ro baby, sweetie . . ." Victor's words faded at the sight of Ororo's closed face.

"What do you want?"

"I wanna tell you everything."

He looked as if he was having a difficult time getting the truth but she didn't care.

"Well?"

"Yeah, right. Well, look baby – sweetie you gotta understand it ain't what you're thinkin'. It ain't! I told you before an' I meant it I love you; you gotta believe that, Ro. I didn't know how much till all this went down. I mean when you started sleepin' over my place you made all the nightmares go. I ain't never had no one could do that to me, you know?"

No. She didn't know and at that moment she didn't care. Her look told him as much and it stopped him dead. He struggled to find words to make her understand but came up with nothing. The only thing left was the truth and he knew the truth would be the end of everything they'd had.

xox

Upstairs sitting on the silken bed comforter Logan felt ill at ease when he should have felt elated beyond measure and flying high. All that night he'd felt unsure of what he was doing except when he'd made love to her. But now sitting there in a towel not sure what to do, to dress or not, to go or stay he felt even worse than he'd felt before. Ultimately he'd betrayed Victor. He knew what he'd done was wrong, knew he had to back off but ultimately too, he loved Ororo. He loved her and couldn't back off.

xox

Ororo swallowed and glanced towards the stairs nervously. Anna and Remy had gone up but Logan was up there too. She didn't know what she was going to do with Logan but she knew she had to get rid of Victor because if he found Logan there she knew all hell would break loose.

"Can you just go?"

"Go?"

He looked at her as if he couldn't grasp her meaning and suddenly Ororo felt very guilty. Truthfully it was Logan that she needed to send away.

"We can talk later, all right?"

"But I gotta tell you everything."

"I can't do this, not now. Please, please just go, Victor."

"I can't do that, sweetie – 'Ro," he said, determined to remain where he was, afraid there'd be no tomorrow if he left.

"Look, Victor there isn't anything to talk about. It's over," she said with all the finality she could muster.

"I ain't goin' no where till you listen to what I got to say."

Everything about him told her he meant what he'd said. He wasn't budging. She glanced at the staircase then back at Victor. What if Logan came down? She took his arm and tried to drag him to the door but instead his arms wound around her waist and he buried his head in her wet hair.

"You gotta listen to me baby. Let me explain, sweetie, all right?"

The jolting shock she felt being in his arms scared her. She took a deep breath trying not to let his muscular body affect her. The truth was she was still attracted to him even after all he'd done. She loved his tall well toned body and his goofy way of trying to prove he was all man when he was really a teddy bear inside. She loved his wild blonde hair and his five o'clock shadow and even the way his stubble felt when he kissed her first thing in the morning. But she couldn't forget what he'd done. It made her feel ashamed and angry with herself for still being drawn to him and that brought her to her senses. She stepped back and he didn't try to prevent her.

"I can't talk to you like this. I just need you to leave."

"I ain't goin' anywhere till we fix this."

"There isn't anything to fix."

"Baby – 'Ro, sweetie we can fix it. I swear on my mother's grave I didn't mean for this to happen. You gotta believe me. I was stupid. I wasn't thinkin'. Just hear me out. It wasn't my fault. It was Jean! She said she just wanted to talk about Logan an' I said I didn't have nothin' to do with them two but she started goin' on about her tryin' to kill herself and I knew Logan wouldn't do nothin' so I went over there but not to do nothin' just to talk her outta of doin' somethin' crazy, I swear!"

He saw she was overwhelmed by his revelation but he went on, the need to make her see it was a mistake too powerful to think about the consequences now.

"I didn't want to go an' I knew I shouldn't've but I was mad at you. I mean she was naked an' that cute little Asian chick was comin' on to me an' all I could do was look at 'em 'cause you was with me."

"What?"

"I mean I didn't want to do nothin' but I kinda did only I couldn't cause of you, cause of how I felt about you. You gotta understand I ain't never been a one woman man an' . . ."

"Apparently you still aren't. Look, Victor I don't have time for your blame game. Do you want me to call the police? Is what I have to do to make you leave?"

"But it ain't like that, baby! What I mean is in the old days I would've done what I wanted so it got me all mad and stuff. I mean I wouldn't've done it with her cause of Logan an' all, you know in the old days. You see I was just mad at you for makin' me love you like I did when I didn't wanna love you like that an' she was all over me an' . . . an' it just happened. But it was only that one time and it wasn't even good – nothin' like you an' me. She was cryin' and yellin' an' I got outta there as fast as I could . . . an' it was only that one time, I swear it Ro!"

His confession hurt. It hurt so much she wanted to pick something up and send it crashing over his head. She wanted him to hurt. She wanted to make him suffer like she was suffering. She wanted him to know how she felt and looking over at the stairs she knew she had the power to do just that.

"I'm sorry, Ro – baby I knew I shouldn't've never gone. I should've stayed home with you. But it'll never happen again. You gotta know that. You understand that don't you sweetie?"

She wanted him to shut up. She didn't want to hear any more most especially how he thought he loved her. If he loved her how could he betray her like that? That wasn't love!

When she raised her face he saw she was crying silently. She wiped at her eyes before going to sit down on a sofa. As much as she wanted to blame him she knew he wasn't the only one guilty here. She had betrayed him as much as he'd betrayed her. It didn't matter that it was after the fact because she'd known Logan cared for her all this time even though she'd thought it wasn't serious, just a crush. She was at fault because she'd never tried to discourage him, had even enjoyed his attachment. If Victor and Jean had betrayed her with a tryst Ororo had betrayed them both with more than that, steadily and knowingly.

There he was looking at her like a sad dog kicked aside by its master. It tugged at her heart to see him like that but it didn't stop her from hating herself for still caring for this man that might have brought death down upon her before she was old and ready for it. Maybe it didn't matter who was to blame. Victor, her, Jean and maybe it was all her fault. Maybe if she'd said something, made some effort to make him know he couldn't waste his love on her, she might have saved them all.

Maybe she should have been more attentive and loving to Victor and he wouldn't have had a reason to turn to Jean. And Jean would still have Logan because he wouldn't have been pining over a woman he would have known he'd never be able to have. And Logan would have had peace if nothing else because Jean truly did love him she thought. And perhaps she and Victor would be whole and happy though she doubted he would have ever confessed his love otherwise.

The wages of sin are death, she thought. Kurt was right. And whether she was to blame or not she felt like a monster. She should never have gotten involved with Victor. If she'd only continued to ignore him none of this would have happened. If only, if only, she thought miserably. She hated herself, hated Victor and she even hated Logan at that moment. Why couldn't he have been a better friend to Victor?

Her sudden laughter startled Victor. Was she feeling better maybe? Maybe she was seeing how silly it all was and she'd take him back. He didn't even flinch at the uncharacteristic thought. He wanted her to take him back because for the first time in his miserable life he'd found someone who made his life better and he loved her. He sunk down on the sofa beside her and draped an arm around her and pulled her to him. She slumped against him and wept until her throat was raw.

xox

It seemed like hours before Logan heard someone at the door. He watched it open slowly, so slowly he almost knew her decision. Nevertheless, he waited, unable to breathe, his nails digging into the palms of his hands which were balled into fists. He was still wrapped in a towel.

She stepped into the room without looking at him, shutting the door quietly behind her. She stood there head bowed for an instant then turned to face him. She tried to smile, failed. Tears welled in her eyes and she brushed them away angrily. She swallowed hard, stepped towards him, faltered – stopped. And he knew.

There was no need for her to say anything. He knew she'd decided but not in his favor. If he'd thought things through – that is past the immediate need he'd had to take her and make her his – he still wouldn't have counted on this. He'd wanted her for so long not even the threat of contacting HIV or hurting Victor had mattered. It was crazy and he knew it now but at the time all he'd wanted was to share her fate whether for good or bad. He hadn't thought of tomorrow, hadn't counted on Victor showing up because Victor never chased after women, because he never cared enough. Maybe that should have been his first hint, Victor showing up.

It was too late now. His heart felt like a crushing weight, so heavy he could barely think for the pain. Anger flashed over his rugged face and it hurt her to see him looking at her like that when she was so used to seeing love in his eyes. She realized that now and saw how foolish she'd been trying to keep him from Yukio, trying to keep him hers when she had no right. She walked up to him resolutely and when she was in front of him she took his hands in hers and squeezed tight.

"Logan . . ."

"You're going back to him?"

"I- I don't know."

He pulled his hands away. He should have known. How he could have been so stupid not to see this was going to happen he didn't know. He could see she knew, that the answer was yes by the guilty look she had on her face.

"He explained about . . . what happened."

"We already knew that," Logan said bitterly.

"He . . . he came for me, Logan," she said feebly and her words recalled to him how much she needed that from a man. "I – we're as guilty as he is."

"He two timed you with my ex girl. What we did wasn't anything like that."

"I don't know what to do, Logan. I need time to think about it but I can't leave him down there all night. He said he's not going to leave unless I go with him."

"So just like that you're going back with him?"

"He knows it isn't for good. It's just for tonight. I – he knows I need time to think things out."

Furious he grabbed her and pulled her to him.

"And what about us?"

"There is no us, Logan. I made a . . ." she paused, shook her head then continued, "We shouldn't have slept together. I was upset and you, you're so sweet. I know you were trying to help me but we both know it was wrong. I know you don't want to hurt Victor any more than I do even after everything he's done."

"You don't know what I want," he snarled before he kissed her.

The kiss was nothing like before. It was hard, almost savage, unrelenting and even cruel. She managed to jerk out of his grasp but he pulled her back.

"It's not that easy, 'Roro," he said.

She slapped him. He dropped her arm as his hand instinctively touched the red imprint she'd left.

"I know it's not that easy, Logan! Don't you know that? I don't know what I'm going to do! You can't just turn love off and on. I can't!"

He glared at her.

"Can't you be my friend? Can't you be there for me like you've always been?"

"No." He spat the word out like a curse.

He started picking up his clothes, ignoring her – finished.

"Yo, Ro you all right in there?" It was Victor's deep voice outside in the hallway and it sounded as if he was headed to her room.

Ororo's mouth fell open at the prospect of Victor finding her and Logan together. There was no way she could explain it and even though a small part of her wanted to let him walk in on them as punishment she didn't have it in her to really do something so cruel.

Logan stood up, his clothes crumpled in his arms. The fleeting look of pain on his face was like a blow to her. He stepped into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

"What am I doing? What am I doing?" Ororo muttered as she looked around for any stray clothing Logan might have left.

"You all right, sweetie?" Victor asked as he opened the door.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I thought I heard you arguin' with someone. That boy messin' with you?"

"That boy? You mean, Remy? No! Of course not. I'm fine. Can you go back downstairs so I can get dressed?"

"You don't look fine to me baby. You still mad?"

"Yes!" she shouted. "What do you expect? What do you want from me? Why can't you both leave me alone?"

"Huh?"

She saw the mistake she'd made but she almost didn't care.

"I just need you and everyone else to leave me alone."

But she was crying now, swiping at her tears futilely feeling as if she wanted to die. He couldn't do what she wanted. She sobbed in great big gasps. She cried the harder when he held her and murmured reassuring words that had no comfort for her. And as she cried Logan sunk back against the bathroom door fighting the urge to go out there, confront Victor and settle this whole mess once and for all.

Usually domestic situations such as this did nothing to ruffle Logan. Jean's rage, her antics, even Viper's he took in stride. He was used to women acting crazy but this was a totally different situation. He was in a place he didn't know how to extract himself from. He didn't want Victor to know he was there or to know what had happened. If she could just send Vic packing then they could deal with him later, maybe never. Logan was already planning on never seeing Victor again if it meant keeping Ororo for himself. He was that certain when she came to her senses she'd end it with Vic.

It was so close – everything he wanted! He only had to play his cards right, not let his conscious bother him and trust what he and Ororo felt for each other and especially what they'd just shared. She had strong feelings for him, he could see that now. He'd felt it all along but hadn't been sure, couldn't allow himself to even think about it. But now he was sure if she could just put Victor aside she'd realize it too.

He saw a good future for them. He could see her cooking for him and treating him just like she did Vic with her gentle humor and no hassles, never demanding anything from him, just accepting him and loving him. He saw himself set up as a king with her as his queen. He'd make her feel that way too, make her never regret choosing him. He'd buy her flowers and candy and jewelry and spoil her, whatever she wanted he'd get for her.

He wanted her so badly he was almost shaking as he reached for his jeans. Normally he wasn't a man of inaction and it seemed just about now that's all he'd done about Ororo. Nothing. He'd just waited and hoped and moped some and now he was doing the same thing only the waiting was unbearable. Only the deeply accented voice of Remy in the room with Ororo made him continue dressing.

"Ororo, everythin' good here?" Remy asked. He came up with Anna who was shoving him repeatedly until he was inside Ororo's room.

"I'm okay."

"You sure, cher? Remy, get rid of him you just say the word."

"Look, ah don't know what you did to her but you need to go, sugah!" Anna said.

Victor gave her a dangerous smile.

Ororo felt like screaming.

"I ain't goin' no where, so why don't you an' the Cajun mind your own business?"

"Well, the least you could've done is waited downstairs like I asked, Victor! Look, all of you please go! I'm going to get dressed and – and then we can talk. I'll be out in a minute."

"You heard her, get outta here. Lemma help you get dressed baby," Victor said, having every intention of remaining.

It was more than Logan could take. He burst into the room, barefoot and clad in only his jeans. The look of stunned shock on Victor's face would've been priceless had it been in a different situation.

"Logan." It was all Victor could say as he stared at his best friend.

He looked from Logan, half dressed, to Ororo in her robe and he comprehended all. No one said anything, as if paralyzed in shock or fear. Remy put a protective arm around Anna and steered her out of the room, glancing back over his shoulder once or twice but Victor and Logan both looked calm merely studying each other in ominous silence.

"Victor . . ." Ororo started but Victor held a hand up to silence her.

"So, even Steven. That it? Yeah, we're even now all right . . . bro," he said. He didn't spare her a look but continued to stare at Logan.

"Man, Vic it isn't like we planned it . . ." Logan stopped. He had planned it but before he could say anything else Victor spoke.

Shaking his head he said in a quiet whisper, "I should've killed you long ago, runt." And then he turned and left.

It wasn't easy for Ororo to believe Victor was just going to walk away. She went to the door and watched his retreat. He didn't look back at her. He looked defeated even from behind. His tall body slumped over, his pace slow almost faltering. For a second she thought he might change his mind and coming back he was moving so slowly.

Remy and Anna were waiting quietly in the hall nearby just in case she needed them. e sure she would be okay. When they had returned from dinner that night discovering Victor waiting on the doorstep was the last thing they'd expected. Neither on of them had any idea what was going on but it was obvious Ororo wasn't with Victor any more and he had something to say about it. Now as Victor wandered out into the hall looking stunned and dejected Remy, with a nod at Ororo, followed him. Anna gave Ororo a sympathetic look then hurried after them.

Seeing that Victor was safely out of the way Ororo tried to catch her breath. She was relieved nothing had happened but she felt awful. The small part of her that had wanted him to know she'd done to him exactly what he'd done to her wasn't the least bit satisfied. She wondered if Logan was as she closed the door behind her and glared at him.

"I guess I better go," he said before she could unleash her fury on him.

"Good."

That hurt. He saw he'd made a crucial error. He disappeared inside the bathroom and finished dressing. He was just as surprised as she was that Victor had done nothing. He imagined Victor would be waiting outside and he was looking forward to taking him on. Right now he wanted to beat the hell out of something and it might as well be Victor.

When he went back into the bedroom Ororo was gone. He sighed in frustration. He'd ruined everything. She had to hate him. Still, despite the reality of his depressing thoughts a little hope sparked. He wasn't just going to give up. He figured she just needed a little time to get over everything. It wasn't like she would really get back with Victor. She probably just needed time to realize it was better that Victor knew instead of hiding it from him. Plus he hadn't done anything she could find fault with. After all they hadn't fought, he hadn't egged Victor on. She'd have to see it was a good thing having Vic out of her life.

Everyone but Victor was at the front door when Logan went downstairs. Remy had an arm around Ororo and Anna was standing on his other side. Much to his surprise Logan noticed one of the last people he wanted to see standing in the doorway, her back turned to him at the moment and he froze.

"Humph! No offense, Ororo but your man loses points with me tonight. That's one rude dude. But you're home and safe I guess that's all that matters," the newcomer said.

Logan watched her turn around and throw her arms around Ororo, forcing Remy to step aside. Then her eyes lit onto him from over Ororo's shoulder and they grew wide with delight.

"Logan! What a nice surprise! Your timing's perfect! How'd you know I'd be here?" Yukio shouted and then the next thing he knew she was flying at him and he was forced to catch her.

The kiss was unexpected but not unwelcome and he held her longer than he should have with everyone watching them, her legs wrapped around him. Logan forced a grin when she looked at him expectantly.

"What ya doin'?" he asked.

"Whatever you want," Yukio teased.

"Sounds good," he replied glancing at Ororo.

"You just got back, Yukio why not visit a bit, non?" Remy said.

Yukio rolled her eyes. "Where do you want to take me, short dark and handsome?"

"Ha!" Logan chuckled. "Anywhere you want. How 'bout dinner? It's not too late, maybe get a drink, have some fun."

"Yum! Sounds good. Ororo, you want to come with us? I feel kind of bad we haven't spent much time together but then you've been all into wild and wooly over there. Or is he waiting for you or something?"

Involuntarily they all looked outside. Victor was sitting in his car which was turned off. Remy guessed he was waiting to kick Logan's ass which he wasn't so sure Logan didn't deserve even though he wasn't sure what was going on. The way Ororo was looking at Logan who was still holding Yukio made him want to rip Logan's heart out. He patted Ororo on the back somewhat awkwardly. She looked like she was going to be ill as she shook her head in reply to Yukio's generous offer apparently unable to speak. She looked like an emotional wreck making Remy want to pummel some sense into both Victor and Logan.

"You drivin'?" Logan asked.

"Unless Ororo needs her car back now and put me down you beast," Yukio replied.

They stared at each other, Logan and Ororo. He could see she was hurt but he wanted to hurt her and she knew it. Payback.

"No," she managed and then because payback's a bitch she added – "Victor's waiting for me." – and was glad to see him flinch.

"It's cold, move out the way y'all so ah can shut the door," Anna muttered after Yukio and Logan left.

"Cher, you gonna be okay?" Remy asked when Ororo didn't budge.

"I saw your brother tonight, Anna," Ororo said, almost absently.

"Kurt?"

Ororo nodded. "He warned me of death."

"You're not goin' to die, cher."

"Everyone dies."

"Was he preachin' again?" Anna asked.

Ororo nodded. She looked out at the night sky as she heard her car start up.

"It's going to rain," she murmured softly then shut the door. A low rumble sounded from afar. Thunder. A winter storm was approaching.


	25. Waiting

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin **

**Chapter Twenty-five – Waiting **

**A/N – **A brief explanation – busy, busy, busy – sorry for the delay. Change of direction took some time to work out in my head and then type up. Also, warning! This is a bit of a song fic. Yes, I know I abhor song fics but I was listening to this song (I love Foreigner!) and it really seemed to fit the story. Whether it works or not I don't know.

Sitting across the street Victor had the perfect view of Ororo's townhouse but when her car pulled up he was puzzled and then he saw Yukio get out. She was alone and walked purposefully up the walk. He thought about getting out and following her then forcing himself inside but instead told himself to be patient

His radio was on and an old rock song was blasting. Foreigner. He loathed the group but had come to secretly love this particular song ever since he'd met Ororo because it said what he had been feeling yet hadn't quite realized until he'd met her.

_So long, I've been looking too hard _

_I've been waiting too long _

_Sometimes I don't know what I will find _

_I only know it's a matter of time . . . _

As the lyrics droned on he wanted to rip the radio out and shove it down the singer's throat. Only he couldn't make himself even reach for the dial. It was as if the song was burning itself into his very soul sprouting truths he didn't want to face yet couldn't deny.

_When you love someone_

_When you love someone _

_It feels so right_

_So warm and true_

_I need to know if you feel it too . . . _

His anger surged, felt as if it were boiling ready to spill over to wreak disaster any instant. Normally he could strike out when he was this angry but he kept telling himself to be patient, wait it out, the reward would be worth it. So he contained himself despite the anger consuming him, the music undoing him and the feeling of hopelessness that had taken hold of him from the moment Ororo had walked out on him.

_Maybe I'm wrong _

_Won't you tell me _

_If I'm coming on too strong _

_This heart of mine has been hurt before _

_This time I wanna be sure . . . _

Furious, he clenched the steering wheel and shook it as if he wanted to pull it from its mounting but it was only a few more minutes before he saw Yukio and Logan coming out, Yukio laughing, chatting – happy. The runt looking like he'd been hit by a truck, stunned and stupid. Only, when Victor saw Yukio lift her mouth wide to the sky as if thirsty and trying to quench her thirst from some imaginary raindrops did his grip loosened on the steering wheel. The girl had to be crazy he thought but even so her actions reminded him of Ororo, her weather girl skills and love of rain. But the moment passed when Yukio laughed and dragged Logan to Ororo's car. He watched them drive away and then he started his car and followed them. A raindrop splashed onto the front window shield but he didn't notice.

Somewhere in the distance lightning flashed brilliantly and shortly a loud crash of thunder could be heard pealing and echoing like some ominous warning. But Victor had his mind on other things. His anger had fermented into some foul demonic thing and he had only one thought on his mind. He was going to kill Logan.

That had been the biggest mistake he'd ever made – not killing the runt. Now he'd rectify that and make sure it stuck then he'd go back for Ororo and fix everything. He'd get her back, make her pay for what she'd done to him for a little while then everything could go back to how it used to be. But she had to suffer first. He'd make sure they both suffered.

He hardly noticed the crash of lightning and explosive thunder as the bedlam storm raged on around him as his thoughts raced. Bent upon his task, he pressed the gas pedal as far as it could go and steered his car directly towards Ororo's. Rubber squealed on wet pavement as his car struck. Over the sounds of glass breaking and someone screaming he had one coherent thought before everything went black.

Ororo would hate him if she ever found out he'd hurt her little girl friend.

------------------------------------------------xox------------------------------------------------

_I've been waiting for a girl like you _

_To come into my life . . . _

For some reason that song kept playing over and over. At first he thought he had the song stuck on his mind like you sometimes do but slowly he began to realize the lyrics weren't in his head. The tune was coming in loud and clear as if the radio were right next to his head. He wanted to get up and turn the radio off but he couldn't move. What's more he couldn't feel anything either. He was numb. He tried to open his eyes but couldn't no matter how hard he tried. His efforts only frustrated him. The song continued playing. He was a prisoner in the dark, held captive by the haunting song that knew him so well.

_I've been waiting for a girl like you _

_Your loving will survive . . . _

Someone turn that damn song off!

Without warning a light came on and Victor discovered his eyes were open suddenly and he had to blink against the sudden brightness. Only his eyes moved. What was the matter? What – but suddenly he heard what he'd thought was the radio but was now Ororo singing that infernal song.

_I've been waiting for someone new _

_To make me feel alive _

_Yeah, waiting for a girl like you _

_To come into my life . . . _

She was dusting. And she was dressed as usual when she was expecting him, wearing only that cute little ruffled French maid's apron around her waist and his favorite pair of stiletto heels.

_You're so good _

_When we make love it's understood _

_It's more than a touch _

_Or a word can say _

_Only in dreams _

_Could it be this way _

_When you love someone, yeah _

_Really love someone . . . _

Ro! Sweetie, come to daddy!

_Now I know it's right _

_From the moment I wake up _

_'Til deep in the night _

_There's nowhere on earth _

_That I'd rather be _

_Than holding you . . . tenderly . . . _

Now she was bending over wiggling her ass like she knew he was watching her, putting on a show for him.

_Oh yeah, Ro_, baby! You know just what I like – come here will ya!

But she continued dusting over the contents of the room. Why couldn't she hear him? For that matter why couldn't he hear himself speaking? And what was up with him? He could only admire her body with his eyes. Nothing else seemed to be working!

"_Whoa, Sabertooth bro! Dude wake the hell up!"_

As many men do Victor had named his most cherished body part and for some reason his member – little Sabertooth – wasn't raising to the occasion.

Someone was knocking at the door and finally the Ororo stopped singing and it was quiet. She swished over to the door causing Victor to groan as he watched her undulating hips. Again, to his horror, Sabertooth remained flaccid. The only blood rushing anywhere was to his head when he saw Ororo letting Logan in. She didn't just let him in she welcomed him like an old lover, embracing him as if she hadn't seen him in years.

What they were saying he couldn't make out. Then Logan laughed and went to the spool table and pulled a chair out. Victor wanted to yell; to send the runt packing but he couldn't find his voice and he could only lay there paralyzed, watching his best friend. Why Logan was stepping onto the chair Victor couldn't make out. He wished he could pull the chair from under him then pick him up by the neck and toss him over the balcony.

Any minute amount of satisfaction he found from that thought was quickly suppressed when Logan, still standing on the chair, held his arms out for Ororo who quickly surrendered herself to him. Victor's anger mixed with the sudden urge to retch. Now Logan was taller than Ororo Victor saw and figured it was the only way the runt could kiss her and feel like a man because that was exactly what he was doing. He kissed Ororo hungrily as if to spite Victor.

Victor let out a roar that no one heard not even himself. He couldn't move, couldn't speak, could only watch his girl kissing his best friend. He'd never felt more helpless watching the two people he'd cared for most as they made out in front of him.

"Hey, Vic what's up man?"

Victor couldn't believe Logan was talking to him as if he hadn't just finished ravishing Ororo like she was his. She was still in his arms, her head on his chest smiling contentedly.

"Still can't talk, eh?" Logan said.

As much as Victor wanted to lash out all he could manage was to shake his head. Logan grinned, jumped to the floor and taking Ororo's hand led her to the bed. With eyes as wide as they could possibly get Victor watched Logan push Ororo down so she was lying next to him. He couldn't keep from groaning again when she smiled at him. It was the first time she'd looked at him since he woke up. Her clear blue eyes were as bright and beautiful as the first time he'd looked into them and lost himself.

"Move over, darlin' – time for that ménage trios you always wanted," Logan ordered.

Quick to obey Ororo scooted as close as she could to Victor who found himself being pushed against the wall. What was going on? But he soon saw. His bed was larger than it should be – a California king he thought, having always wanted one but never having the space for it. While he was pushed up against the wall and Ororo laid beside him Logan had almost the entire bed to spread his smaller body on and Victor was helpless to do anything but watch as Logan sprawled out on the other side of Ororo.

If that wasn't enough to bear he suddenly realized he was naked, as naked as Ororo was now and Logan too. Ororo's apron was gone and Logan's clothes had disappeared as well – but how? He had to be dreaming. That had to be it. Only it was a nightmare. Any minute he'd wake up and find it was just a stupid dream.

Any minute.

Any minute now.

He waited feeling the worst he'd ever felt as Ororo, smiling that sweet calm smile of hers, pulled Logan to her. She moaned softly, that moan Victor knew so well when she was ready for him. Where her moans had always aroused him there was nothing now but anger and pain that ate away at him tearing him apart. It was Logan's kisses that were making her hot not his and – and they were going to do it right there in front of him!

------------------------------------------------xox------------------------------------------------

An explosive boom literally shook the house. Thunder – rumbling and groaning so ominously that it filled Ororo with dread, the deep rolling concussive sound seemingly endless. And then a bright flash of lightning lit the skylight above in the foyer of the townhouse. Fat drops of rain continued to splatter hard against the windowpanes as the winter storm began.

Soon another cavernous growl of thunder was heard, this time less potent but just as menacing, much like a premonition of some evil yet to come. The looming sound sent a shiver down Ororo's spine. She hugged herself as she looked up at the darkened skylight. For some reason the house felt empty and lifeless despite the presence of Anna and Remy beside her. They were watching her expecting answers. She had none. None for them or herself. She just wanted to be left alone, to curl up and hibernate, to forget.

"Sugah, you . . ."

"I don't want to talk about it," Ororo said more sharply than she'd intended but she didn't stop to apologize. Instead she raced upstairs until she was safely shut away in her room the lightning and thunder continuing their warlike dance.

Once there Ororo sunk onto her large bed and curled up into a ball hugging her knees up to her chest. Another peal of thunder could be heard this time it sounded further away less of a threat but the rain continued, the weather like her disturbed and upset.

She truly had no idea of what to do. How could she go on with Victor? She couldn't. It was obvious. And Logan she could never be with him again. That had been a mistake albeit a delicious one. She couldn't simply discard the memory of his lovemaking – slow and sure and full of . . . full of love. It had shaken her. Everything about this night had shaken and confused her but it was Logan who had affected her the most.

It should have been Victor but it wasn't. She could see even now how Logan had looked at her, so concerned and fearless and loving. It was just her luck to have found a man who loved her regardless of anything and could make love like that was what sex was all about. No one had ever done that before. No one had ever touched her with that amount of love despite the lust or need they felt.

Why now? Why would she be allowed to experience that when she could never have it again? Because she couldn't. She couldn't do that to Victor even though he'd done worse to her. It was wrong. What she and Logan had done was wrong. It didn't matter how good it felt. All the feelings she had towards Logan had to be forgotten just as the feelings she still had for Victor. She would have to continue on with her life as if none of this had ever happened. She'd have to forget the wonderful sex, the caring and love she'd received from both of them in their own earnest way.

But the pain – how could she bear it, how to live with it? Oh maybe it might fade given time but how to deal with it until then? And how long would it take? She hurt so much she almost wished she could crawl into a hole and fade away. No one should have to suffer like this or feel the way she felt, as if she'd committed some cardinal sin when all she'd done was take a selfish pleasure. So much pleasure when she needed something to help her deal with Victor's traumatic revelation.

Victor. She was a fool. She knew it. She'd screwed up big time. Maybe just as bad as Victor had. She'd hurt herself and everyone else to boot. Spreading mayhem and . . . disease? Smart. Real smart. What to do? How to go on? She certainly couldn't face either of them after this. What a mess. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Idot! The stakes had been too high! Where was her common sense when she needed it? Instead she'd been thinking with her loins – and her heart. She couldn't help having feelings for Logan especially after Victor's stunt. She wanted to hate him, both of them but the only one she hated right now was herself. Stupid, stupid, stupid! She was worse than Victor, bringing down death on Logan wasn't anything like Victor had done to her because she knew – she knew she might be infected!

And there it was. The dark, scary beast that had ruined everything for her. Did she have it? Was she HIV positive? And if she was then had she infected Logan because they had used no protection in the throes of passion as the romance novels called it. And it had been like that. Distraught and lost as she had been when he'd kissed her all the intense feelings she'd felt for him had come bursting forth like a flood that couldn't be stemmed no matter how much she'd tried.

It had been the first time in ages that she'd really let herself succumb to her emotions. Not since she'd been young and foolishly in love had that happened. She'd soon learned to bottle her emotions up, to keep them from getting out of control. Men didn't take good care of your emotions if you wore your heart on your sleeve. That had been the attraction towards Victor, that he was what he was, no pretense – he wasn't going to want anything more than sex and a lot of it which was fine because after having her heart broken with Forge she'd learned that sex was good enough.

Sex was death. The wages of sin? Was Kurt right? Oh, her head hurt. Instead of lightning and thunder she thought she heard sirens. Perhaps she was losing her mind? She deserved to. Perhaps she had brought down death on Logan just as Victor with her. The thought wouldn't go away. The circle never ended. This was worse than a nightmare. Her head kept throbbing. The alcohol? A lingering effect from hitting her head? She felt ill.

It didn't matter. She ignored the pain, closed her eyes and tried to sleep. Only a dozen thoughts flashed through her mind and she tried to block them out. Unable to shut out her thoughts and the overwhelming dread she felt sleep refused to come. But one thought was prevalent – "I have to be tested!" And like a mantra the words kept repeating themselves in her mind.

To make matters worse her phone rang. And rang. She groaned. She couldn't imagine who would be calling her. Victor wouldn't. No doubt there. Logan? She didn't think so but you never knew. He'd been acting so strange and mean and . . . loving. The SOB!

Finally she sat up, exhausted, and determined. The phone had stopped ringing – no there it was again. She had to get out of there. She hoped Cecelia was on duty. She could talk to Cecelia, she was a doctor after all and a good friend plus she already knew or probably did. Certainly she had to have guessed but Ororo didn't know how doctor confidentiality worked and whether Hank had told her or not. Still, maybe Cecelia could test her right then and there and hopefully get the results back in a speedy manner. The only problem – she had no car.

The memory of just who had her car was almost unbearable. Logan had run off with Yukio. He'd kissed her friend right in front of her as if they had been lovers for some time now! It was as if the evening he'd just spent with her, making slow beautiful love meant nothing to him. Worse than that she felt as if he had intentionally rubbed her nose in it! That was the only answer she could come up, his actions had been so blatantly cruel, something she hadn't thought him capable of despite the disregard he'd shown for Jean.

Of course it was only logical that he and Yukio had become an item while she had been gone but as quickly as she thought that she discarded the idea. She'd known all along that he cared for her, he'd told her as much. She'd chosen to leave with Victor and that had hurt him so he had used Yukio to hurt her back. It was as simple as that.

Well, his plan was going to backfire because she was never going to see him again and Yukio would be leaving in a few days and then who would he have? Jean? She doubted he would go back to Jean although maybe Jean would be crazy enough to take him back. It was an implausible thought; he was finished with Jean that she was sure of. She smiled as she envisioned him all alone with no woman at all.

At least one good thing would come out of all this. He'd get exactly what he deserved. He'd be alone and lonely and he'd regret everything he'd done to her this night – everything. Somehow that didn't feel good enough. He might end up feeling sorry he'd ever got her into bed when she was so vulnerable had but where did that leave her?

As hard as she was trying not to cry or think the worse her eyes stung with tears. She'd been faithful to one man all these months! Faithful. Except for tonight. Everything was ruined. All these months wasted! She'd been a fool.

Why couldn't she pick the right guy? Why was it so freaking hard? She'd only been with three men in all her life and they'd all screwed her over one way or another. Why? Did she have some target on her head that said "pick me I'm gullible?" She tried her best to be the perfect girlfriend not letting any of their quirks bother her. She hadn't slept around. She'd always been in a relationship. She'd been a good person, a decent person and she always tried to be nice to everyone, including Jean who couldn't stop calling her Aurora for whatever inane reason. So why did she have to suffer like this? She'd been so happy and now . . . now everything had fallen apart. Was this what Kurt had meant?

Zee wages of sin are deaf – death. She corrected her thoughts which had morbidly taken on Kurt's German accent. She felt as if she were losing her mind and wished she could shut down her brain. Just for the night. A useless thought she knew. But the thought lingered as she listened to the storm outside.

She groaned as the phone rang again. Part of her wished it was Victor or even Logan but another part of her was appalled that she wanted either of them to call and another part was scared, no – make that terrified. She'd screwed up bad. Horribly. How she could get herself out of this mess she had no idea. And yet, she still couldn't deny she yearned for one of them to call, to acknowledge her, to declare their undying love for her and beg for forgiveness.

What her answer to something like that would be she didn't have the slightest idea but still she wanted and even needed that. It was a need she couldn't help. Possibly a need all women felt, longing to have a man chase after them, to not let them go because they loved them so deeply they couldn't live without them, loved them so much that they would refuse to let them go no matter how bad things were. T'Challa and Forge hadn't been like that. They'd never made the extra effort to keep her and so she hadn't either.

It was crazy, feeling like she did. She knew neither of them would call her any more than she'd be calling them and yet that need inside her refused to die. She still hoped though why she couldn't say and so she dug in her purse, retrieved her cell phone.

"Ororo, here," she said as blithely as if she had not a care in the world.

"Ororo, girl, I've been trying to reach you for the last thirty minutes! Victor's been in an accident, he's here at the hospital."

A gasp escaped her lips as the phone fell from her hand.

"An accident?"

"I'm sorry, I . . ."

"No. No, I'm coming. I'll be there as soon as I can."

With one phone call everything had changed. Just like that. Was that how life was always going to be? One night, one thoughtless sexual escapade, one phone call and everything changed? But she didn't have time to dwell on her love life Victor was in trouble and she had to go to him. Everything had changed – again.

------------------------------------------------xox------------------------------------------------

"Dude, I won the lottery with her, she don't know it but she's worth all this trouble. I ain't had no woman like her before," Victor mumbled.

Logan stood there looking down at Victor. He was speechless. Victor looked around confused as he lay on the hospital bed. He saw the machine he was hooked up to, saw a man in a white coat talking to what he thought was a nurse and then he glanced back at Logan. He could have sworn he'd just been in bed with Logan and Ororo! He must've been dreaming.

"Where's Ro?" he asked without looking at Logan.

"Home I guess."

As he took that information in he considered whether or not to ask Logan what he needed to know and then decided against it. He figured Logan would be overjoyed to tell Ororo everything if he hadn't already. Maybe he'd be able to kill the runt later – if he felt like it. What did it matter now if Ororo knew what he'd done or tried to do?

"So. You an' – you an' Ro huh?" Victor said, this time looking straight at Logan.

Logan shook his head. "Nah, man it's not . . . it's not – it's . . ." he stopped. He didn't know what to say. He'd probably made sure there was nothing between him and Ororo by the way he'd acted with her best friend but after this – now what?

Of course Victor didn't know any thing about what Logan had done with Yukio. He couldn't tell whether Logan was lying or not and right then he didn't want to know. The only thing he did want was what he was sure he'd ruined forever. He'd screwed up royally. He'd demolished his car worse than any wreck he'd seen in NASCAR, just like his body by the way he felt, just like his love life, just like his friendship and why not toss the fact that he no longer had a job since he'd just tried to kill his boss which meant he'd lose his apartment, couldn't pay for the medicine he needed so he wouldn't die from AIDS which meant he would die. Yup, screwed up big time. Maybe the only good thing out of all this was that he wouldn't have to worry about car payments now but still!

He closed his eyes. That damn song was in his head again – the same song that he'd heard earlier. He tried to sit up but felt as if his body were paralyzed. Not only that he felt like he was doped up. Wouldn't that be a bitch? Paralyzed on top of everything else?

_Your loving will survive _

_I've been waiting for someone new _

_To make me feel alive _

_Yeah, waiting for a girl like you _

_To come into my life . . . _

What kind of drugs were they giving him? That song just wouldn't quit! The same song that had been playing right before he'd tried to kill Logan. The same song had been playing in his head when he'd crashed into the pole at the last minute and now the lyrics were mocking him because he had nothing left – no woman, no car, no friend, no job, no life.

_I've been waiting for a girl like you _

_To come into my life _

_I've been waiting for a girl like you _

Mocking him. If he hadn't been such a pansy and had just done what he'd started out to do and not spared Ro's crazy little friend he wouldn't be in this mess. Now it was too late – too late for anything. He closed his eyes willing Logan to go away but as he did so he soon fell into a deep stupor.

**A/N** – Hope the song didn't bother anyone and hoped it made sense. Song lyrics by Foreigner. Thanks for reading! And if there're any mistakes blame them on my beta! That and I really wanted to get this posted. :D


	26. Confusion and Truths

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin **

**Chapter Twenty-six – Confusion and Truths**

**A/N – **My most sincere apologies in taking forever to get this up. I've been a little ill but I'm feeling a lot better now and hope to finish this shortly.

A frightening clash of lightning sounded as the emergency room doors slid shut behind Ororo. She barely heard the commotion, barely noticed Cecelia who was waiting for her and barely felt the slight pressure as Cecelia squeezed her hand in support. They passed several partitioned off rooms but Ororo noticed nothing. She felt queasy, even ill and nervous. What would Victor think when he saw her? He'd been in such a strange mood when he'd left – unnatural even.

It didn't help her nerves when Logan was the first thing she saw after Cecelia moved the curtain aside where Victor was resting. He was standing at Victor's bedside staring at her with a look of surprise that matched her own. She quickly looked away, annoyed, angry and resentful. She turned accusing eyes towards her Cecelia.

"What?" Cecelia queried, not quite sure why Ororo was giving her such a look.

"He was just awake," Logan said before Ororo could reply.

"And just who are you?" Cecelia asked.

"He's Victor's friend," Ororo said, her voice full of irritation.

"Really? Why didn't you inform someone when he regained consciousness?" Cecelia demanded.

"I – well . . ." Logan stuttered, not sure why he hadn't. "Guess I didn't think to," he finally admitted.

Now Ororo looked at him. He was staring at Victor, his face twisted with emotions she couldn't quite make out. What had he said? He didn't think. She shook her head. That was his problem, he never thought. He didn't think with Jean or her or Victor and most especially not about the future. If he had been thinking he wouldn't have . . . She caught herself, remembered why she was there and she forced herself to let go of her anger. She hadn't been thinking any more than he had or Victor for that matter. Apparently thinking wasn't a forte for any of them.

But that wasn't what was important right now. She'd rushed to the hospital worried for Victor and frightened because where there should have been fear and remorse she almost didn't care what happened to him. Now she took a step closer the better to peer at him hoping she wouldn't be flooded with more unwanted feelings. Oddly though she felt nothing at all as she stared at him. He looked so pale and lifeless and helpless and even innocent while he slept. She almost laughed at that thought. He might look innocent in sleep but Victor was anything but.

Anger and guilt and finally even some remorse fought to take hold of her. She felt a burning need to scream. She was angry because he looked almost childlike and she knew he had no one who cared for him except for herself and possibly Logan and they'd been the ones that had hurt him. Not intentionally of course and in a way he only had himself to blame but still that left him with no one but them. She sighed heavily. What was done was done. She'd made a mistake and so had he and now he needed her. She'd have to get her act together, see what she could do for him and then figure out what they were going to do after he was better. It was the only decent thing to do.

"When will he wake up, do you know, Cecelia?" Ororo asked

So that's how she got here, Logan thought. Cecelia had to be her doctor friend. Their eyes met as Cecelia spoke. This time neither of them looked away. She felt that slight surge of euphoria mixed with an uncomfortable awareness of him that she wished would go away forever while he felt the same desire and admiration he always felt whenever he looked at her.

"I have to go!" Ororo said suddenly, turning on her heel and marching off.

Cecelia gave Logan a strange look then followed.

"What's going on, Ororo? Who is that guy?"

"Cecelia you don't have the time and I don't want to talk about it."

"You should talk to someone. Actually, Ororo we need to talk. I've been concerned – you know . . . Hank told me about Victor."

"I didn't know. Isn't that breaking patient doctor confidentiality or something?"

"Hank was concerned about you because you're our friend besides that he knew if he didn't tell me I'd kill him if I found out any other way. This is life and death we're talking about not fun and games – this is serious. Have you been tested?"

Ororo shook her head. "No. Not yet. I-I thought maybe you could do the test for me.

Will you?"

"Of course, honey. We're not busy right now, I'm sure I can work you in. Victor's was the only accident we've had so far."

"He was so angry; I should've been there with him. He never would've gotten into an accident if I'd been with him."

"You don't know that. It's best not to think that way either. Ororo, I don't want to impose but are you two still together?" the doctor asked.

"I – I don't know. I wish I did. It should be so easy. He two timed me – no one's ever done that to me or at least I never knew if they did. But then – I mean he's hurt – he needs someone to take care of him. I don't know what to do."

Cecelia opened her mouth to reply but before she could give her opinion Yukio was pulling Ororo into a hug.

"What're you doing here?" they both asked at once and then laughed, the first light moment for both of them since they'd arrived at the hospital an hour apart.

"I've been trying to call you!" Yukio said.

"You two know each other?" Cecelia asked.

"Cecelia, this is the Wild One I've told you so much about," Ororo said with a smile. "Yukio this is Doctor Reyes my friend Cecelia. I'm always wanted you two to meet."

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Yukio although I wish it weren't under such circumstances."

"Victor's going to be all right though, isn't he?" Yukio asked.

"When he wakes up we'll have a better idea."

"Bummer," Yukio sighed. "But we're here for you, girl," she added.

"There's someone else coming," Cecelia said. "I called everyone on his cell phone when I couldn't reach you, Ororo. There weren't a lot."

"Victor doesn't really have friends. So what's the plan? Wait till he wakes up and – um . . . in the meantime what about . . . you – me . . . you know?"

"Take a seat in the waiting room and I'll be with you as soon as I can."

"Thank you, Cecelia."

"What are friends for?"

Knowing that she was going to be tested made Ororo felt much better. Now all she had to do was decide what she was going to do about Victor. Once she would have been crazy with worry but now it was only compassion she felt just as she'd feel for any other person. She didn't want him to have to suffer but that was pretty much the extent of it.

The love was gone. Had it ever really been there? Not that she'd tried to fool herself. The sex had been incredible – wild, raw and constant – at first, but even when that had passed she'd felt herself falling for him. She'd never attempted to delude herself into thinking he was her ideal man but his honesty and genuine feelings towards her had lulled her into a complacent place even after their thrilling sex had dwindled thanks to Logan. But the sex was long gone and so was the honesty. What they had left was betrayal on both sides so where did that leave them?

"Oh no," she moaned when she saw Logan headed towards her. He only complicated everything so she spun around and started walking as quickly as possible without breaking into a full out run.

"Where you going?" Yukio called.

"I need a drink."

"Get me a cola will you?" Yukio said. "You want anything, Logan?"

"Nah. I'm good."

"So! What a night, huh?"

"Yeah."

"You think he's going to be okay?"

"Yeah. I do. He's hard to kill."

"So then we'll have to go out another night I guess. Pity. I was looking forward to dancing the night away."

"Yeah."

"You're awful quiet. What gives?"

"Nothin'," Logan said, his eyes following Ororo. "Where's she going?"

Yukio followed his gaze then looked back at him. "She's thirsty."

"She all right?"

"I guess."

"Did she say anything?"

"Anything like what?"

"I don't know, didn't you two talk?"

"What's with you and Ororo? We're together for less than a minute and you always have to bring her up. Are you still stuck on her? I thought you were over that."

"Look, Yukio it ain't what you think."

"What I think is that you need to get a life. She's dating your best friend you idiot! I mean how would it look if I tried to steal her man away from her? Best friends don't do that kind of crap, Logan."

"There're things you don't know about me an' 'Roro," Logan muttered before he went off after Ororo leaving Yukio to smolder alone.

It was relatively easy to find her. Not thinking he would follow she was still at the vending machines down the hall from the waiting room and directly down from the entrance. She was leaning against one of the machines, her eyes closed. She looked as if she were trying to rest. She looked peaceful even content and it made him grin to see her like that. She was obviously not upset about Victor which could only mean one thing. She wanted him now not Vic.

And this was the woman he wanted. No one else had made him feel like this, not since Mariko. Victor be damned but he was going for it. Life wasn't worth living if you didn't take risks and what good was living if you weren't happy?

"Please leave me alone," she murmured when he approached. He saw she was watching him through half closed eyes.

"You need to know what happened tonight."

"I already know. We both know. We made a mistake. Victor found out and look what happened. I should've gone with him instead of – he wouldn't be here if I had."

"No, you got that all wrong, darlin'," Logan said with a chuckle that made Ororo's brows furrow angrily.

"What's so funny? I don't see anything funny about any of this."

"There ain't nothin' funny about a man tryin' to kill you, 'Roro an' that's what Vic did. He . . ."

"What? What're you talking about? That's crazy!"

"Death by automobile," Logan said dryly though he still seemed a little amused.

"Automobile? What?"

"Vic tried to run his car into ours, well yours. Somehow he hit a pole instead."

"What? That's the craziest thing I've ever heard!"

"Crazy just like Vic. You can ask Yukio if you want."

"Yukio? She didn't say anything to me about that. You're not drunk are you?"

"Nope. Never was."

"Then what the hell are you talkin' about?"

Logan's eyes grew wide. This was the first time he'd ever heard her use profanity.

"I'm tellin' you ol' boy tried to kill us."

"Okay, Logan tell me how do you end up hitting a pole if you're trying to hit a car? I mean even I could hit a car if I was trying to!"

"I don't know what happened; maybe he lost control in the rain, I don't know."

"Victor lose control? He's an excellent driver. He told me he used to race stock cars."

"Don't mean you can't lose control, even the best drivers do."

"That's ludicrous! Why would he want to kill you much less try to kill you in his car? That thing's his baby. He loves that car. And how could that tiny little thing do much but dent my car? And for goodness sake that would be suicide! Victor's not suicidal!"

"Maybe. You don't really know Vic."

"I know him well enough to know he wasn't trying to kill himself."

"He tell you about his past?"

"What?"

They stared at each other, one angry, the other determined.

"He told me enough," she finally said.

"Did he? Then you know he's not the teddy bear you think he is."

Ororo knew what Logan was trying to do. He was obviously jealous and though he'd never shown that side of him before he was saying anything he could come up with in order to make Victor out to be the bad guy. This was crazy. She thought better of Logan but he was acting like a kid in school. While it was true Victor wasn't the nicest person and yes he had committed a crime a long time ago Ororo just couldn't see Victor trying to kill Logan. Sure they'd joked about it before but if they'd really been trying to kill each other one of them would be dead by now. How could you not kill someone as many times as they'd claimed they'd tried? It was stupid, just talk, macho military talk that she'd ignored for the most part. But this was too much. Logan was supposed to be the sane one but now he was acting like he'd lost his mind. She wanted to smack him or at least get away from him. She seriously considered calling a security guard over as she eyed a guard who was standing by the sliding doors talking to a woman who was holding a small child by the hand. Fortunately he didn't follow her when she walked off. She was hesitant to really approach the guard but she didn't have to. Yukio came up to her. She ran a hand through her spiky hair frowning.

"What's going on?" Yukio asked.

"Victor wasn't trying to kill you was he, Yukio?" Ororo asked.

Yukio looked at Logan who came up beside them then shook her head. The last thing she wanted was to be in the middle of this. It was obvious Logan was playing every card he could in an attempt to steal Ororo from his best bud. She wasn't going to help him.

"No, he didn't. I'm sorry, Logan but he ran into a pole. We both heard the crash. We were the ones who called 911. It was an accident that's all."

"I told you he was following us," Logan growled. "How could he run into a pole? You got an answer for that?"

"The rain came out of no where. It was crazy. We could hardly see two feet in front us. It was a mess," Yukio said.

"Fine, suit yourself. Believe what you want. I've known Vic longer 'n the both of you. I know what he was doin' an' I know I'm right. You think you know him, 'Roro but you don't. He's sick and twisted. He's got a killer's instincts. You don't know the half of it."

"But Yukio was in the car for crying out loud! Why would he want to kill Yukio? She has nothing to do with this!"

"You're right and I don't want to either. Look, Ororo I love you, you know I do but I'm out of here. I called Remy and he's coming to get me. The night's still young, we're gonna go dancing. Here're your keys. Call us later, you know if you need anything, okay?"

Now with Yukio gone Ororo was stuck with Logan. Maybe she could just tell him to back off, maybe he'd listen and let her be, she thought. She could feel him haunting her steps as she returned to Victor's partitioned off area. It took all her control not to turn around and yell at him. Victor was still sleeping. How would he feel when he woke up to see the two of them there?

"Okay, I've had enough," she said, spinning around to face Logan. "What happened between us was wrong. I shouldn't have done what – I was weak and hurt and mad and . . ."

"You tryin' to tell me you haven't been feelin' what I been feelin' ever since the day we met?"

"I don't know what you feel or what you think you feel or anything about you for that matter, Logan. We're complete strangers."

"Don't pull that crap. We're a long way from strangers."

"Practically strangers. You don't know anything about me and I know nothing about you. What we did – can we please forget it ever happened? I think we both want to be here for Victor and he needs us without all this going on between us. So can we please just forget it ever happened?"

"So you're going to stay with him?" Logan asked, his voice rising with each syllable.

"That's none of your business," she whispered, glancing over at Victor who was still sleeping.

"I think it is after what happened tonight," Logan declared.

"I'd like to know too." The voice surprised them. Turning they saw Jean standing behind them.

"What're you doing here?" Logan demanded.

"I got a call from the hospital; they said Victor was hurt so here I am."

"Why – why would they call you?" Ororo asked, truly confused.

"Well, we were lovers," Jean said, bitingly.

Her comment sufficiently quieted them all.

"What happened? Tell me what's going on?" Jean asked.

"Car wreck," Logan supplied begrudgingly.

"Is he hurt?"

Logan shrugged then said, "Why don't you go back home, Jeannie. There's nothin' you can do here."

"I didn't come here for Victor. I came because I knew you'd be here. You're always with him and I – I didn't know if you were hurt or not, if they'd know to call me if you were."

"I'm fine see so you can go."

Jean glanced at Ororo then back at Logan. "I need to talk to you, Logan can we . . . ?"

"Later, I'm busy."

"No, you're not," Ororo said. She moved past them, sure she was visibly trembling she was so upset. Seeing Jean made her realize how foolish she'd been to sleep with Logan.

"'Roro, wait up!" Logan called but Jean stepped in front of him effectively stopping him from pursuing Ororo.

"I'm serious, Logan. We have to talk. This is important."

"Look, Jean I ain't tryin' to be mean – I know I put you through some stuff an' for that I'm sorry but we ain't got nothin' to talk about so can you get outta my way?"

"This is important, Logan and you're going to listen to what I have to say."

"For cripes sake, what is it – what the hell do you want?"

"Well, mister I don't want you if that's what you're thinking. Maybe I never did. I don't know . . ."

"Look, Jean I ain't got time for this."

"Make time, buddy. I made time for you all those years."

With a sigh he relented. "Fine. Talk fast."

"You really love her don't you?"

"Huh?"

"Aurora. You love her. Oh, I'm not mad any more. You can't blame me for being mad before though. You were in love with her while you were sleeping with me. How was I supposed to feel? No, don't answer that. I know you don't care. But you know what? I don't care either any more. I never really loved you like I wanted to. I – I have a confession . . ." – here she paused and Logan waited impatiently.

"You remember when we broke up and I got with Scott?"

"What's that got to do with anything for cryin' out loud?"

"I – Scott and I were together before, before I met you and I never actually stopped being with him. I mean I tried, really I did, you don't know how hard I tried but he was my high school sweetheart and we – well, he was always there for me. It was like every time we got into a fight we'd break up and then get back together. I met you during one of those times only when I ended up getting back with Scott . . . I just didn't tell you."

"What the hell're you talkin' about?"

"I'm trying to tell you I was with Scott even when we were together. At first it was just friends and then we – well, I love him and I wanted him to marry me but he's going blind and he didn't think I should be stuck with him like that because I wanted children and – well, that's where you came into the picture.

"Scott's not anything like you. You were so rugged and manly and you loved me so much. For a long time I tried to convince myself you'd ask me to marry you, that we'd have children together but when you didn't and Scott was there for me I started sleeping with Scott. I don't know how it happened but it did and when you didn't act like you wanted anything more than what we had I hoped maybe Scott would change his mind and I'd finally have the family I wanted only it wasn't him who changed his mind but you and I really would've married you and never seen Scott again but then you took it all back. I was so mad at you! That's why I slept with Victor."

"Look, Jean what do you want?"

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry – for your motorcycle, for lying to you, for being with Scott and . . . and with Victor."

"Is that all?"

The look she gave him was not nice. She was irritated that he didn't care and didn't want to hear any more.

"No," she said. "If you love Aurora you ought to go after her."

Logan started to speak then closed his mouth unsure how to respond.

"I really hope you'll be happy."

He considered this. She looked sincere enough. "And what about you?"

"What about me?" she laughed. "Scott's still the same wishy washy self centered perv. I think he's seeing someone else. But I can't help loving him and well, you know he's all I've got now. Maybe this is how it's supposed to be. But don't worry about me, I'll be fine."

Logan nodded. He looked at her as if he'd never seen her before, like he had no idea who she was. Sleeping around on him all that time explained a lot of stuff but he'd never suspected. He half believed she'd made up some crazy convoluted lie to make her feel better.

"So, what about Victor? Is it serious?"

"He'll survive. It's what he does best."

"I'm glad. For you I mean. I know you two will be best friends till one of you dies no matter what. Well, I guess I should be going. I didn't tell Scott where I was going and, well he came home drunk and – well, I know you don't want to hear about it."

"You're living with that guy?"

"Yeah. It's a long story but – um, maybe you should have some tests run."

"Tests?"

"I know we always used condoms but . . . well, Logan you need to know something."

He waited for her to continue but she only bit her lip and looked over at Victor.

"Know what?" What else was she going to spring on him?

"I've got something and you should make sure you don't. Victor too. And I guess Aurora should have herself tested too. I'm sorry about everything," Jean said and she did truly look sorry.

"You got AIDS?" Logan shouted.

"Ssssh! For goodness sake, Logan why not tell the whole world?"

"Jean . . ."

"How did you know?" she hissed.

"Vic got it."

"No? Oh dear God. I didn't know."

"Well, now you do."

"It was Scott. That's how I figured he was sleeping around. I'm so sorry, Logan."

"I ain't the one with it so you got nothin' to be sorry about unless – you . . . ?"

Jean took a deep breath. "I don't want your pity. I'm fine. Scott's with me and we're going to work things out. I've got to go. Good-bye, Logan."

He felt no bitterness or regret from her when she turned and walked out of his life for good – he hoped. It explained a lot though, her screwing around, how Victor got HIV. It also meant he definitely needed to be tested and he needed to make sure Ororo was as well. He'd wanted her so much it didn't matter; he hadn't thought she'd be infected. It was a stupid thing to do but he knew he'd do it again in a heartbeat to be with her and he didn't regret it.


	27. The Tide Turns

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin **

**Chapter Twenty-seven – The Tide Turns **

**A/N – **Just got over a rough patch in my life but I'm healed and the house still stands despite the cave in. Computer's dead, have yet to hook up the new tower, they sent the wrong cord! But my writer's block just may have passed so some good out of the bad. Trying to finish this ASAP so this chapter's not beta-ed and it's long. Hope to be finished in just one or two more chapters.

**xox **

Love is the most powerful thing in the world. He never would have believed that before but after unintentionally falling for Ororo he knew if nothing else in this world was true that one incredible thing was. He'd kill for her. He might even die for her.

He hadn't killed Logan when he had the chance but that was only because he found he couldn't bring himself to hurt her spunky little friend – something that never would've bothered him before, proof of just how strong love was. Nevertheless, he'd get Logan one way or the other and the best way he could see, for now, was keeping Ororo. He'd hold onto her any way he could all while watching his so called friend suffer. By time he finished the runt would wish he'd killed Vic when _he'd_ had the chance. Ah, revenge and love, who could ask for more?

A sly grin crept over his face with Victor's first thoughts after waking from what felt like a drugged sleep that is until he a voice outside the curtain that surrounded his bed – Logan's loud whisper.

"This is important," Logan hissed.

"Don't," Ororo said but Victor felt she said it as if she didn't really mean it. His stomach grew suddenly queasy.

"I can't help it," Logan said, his voice lower, almost too quiet to hear now.

There was a moment of silence and Victor could've sworn he heard them kissing. He strained to hear the slightest noise but all he could really hear were the various sounds that surrounded him – a patient next door moaning softly, a woman speaking quietly to the person who was moaning he thought and a deep male voice across the way explaining something – too many sounds. In his minds eye he could see Logan kissing Ororo and the vision filled him with rage.

"Ro, baby that you?" Victor called.

He heard them move apart or he imagined he heard clothes rustling as if they were. Ororo pushed the curtain aside and stepped inside. She looked as beautiful as she always did even with her hair slightly damp from the rain. She didn't look happy to be there though and Logan, following her, didn't either. Victor felt his anger growing in leaps and bounds as he watched the two standing next to each other as if nothing were wrong.

"Can we talk?" he asked, waving her over. "Alone," he added when Logan didn't make a move to leave.

The look she and Logan exchanged only added fuel to Victor's anger.

"How you doin', Vic?" Logan asked; his feet firmly planted as if he had no intention of giving them privacy.

"I could be better bro, you know what I mean?" Victor said.

"We – we were worried about you," Ororo said though why she included Logan she didn't know, it made her feel guiltier still.

"I gotta talk to you, baby. Logan, give us a minute," Victor said.

But Logan didn't want to and yet he felt if he stayed he'd appear desperate in front of Ororo, the last thing he wanted.

"Sure. I'll be outside, you need me just call," Logan said finally with a pointed look at Ororo.

Neither Victor nor Ororo acknowledged him. Victor motioned her over again and this time she stepped closer. He took a deep breath then smiled. It caught her by surprise. He looked uncannily handsome in that rough devilish way of his she thought with some resentment. Did all men wake up from an accident looking as sexy as they always looked?

"You know baby I love you too much," he said.

Another surprise but he'd told her this already and she didn't want to hear it again.

"Victor, this isn't the time."

"What? I almost die and this ain't the time to tell you how I feel? You think maybe you sleepin' with my best friend's a good enough time? You think maybe, huh?"

"Victor . . ."

"Honey, I just wanna tell you how I feel. Man, ain't you been dreamin' of this? I mean ain't it what all you women want, hearin' your man tell you how pussy whipped he is, tellin' you he'd do anythin' for you?"

Ororo swallowed. It wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear right now especially after everything they'd put each other through and why did Victor have to be so crude even when professing his love?

His hand, rough and strong, reached out to caress her cheek. When she flinched it was all he could do not to take her in his arms and shake her – hard. He gritted his teeth and ran his fingertips lightly over her jawbone. And then the next thing he was aware of his fingers were slowly choking the life from her. A satisfied grin touched his lips. He wouldn't stop choking her till she was dead. If she wasn't going to stay with him he'd make damn sure Logan didn't get her. There was no way he was going to let the runt win. Only when he imagined her eyes bulging with fear as she took her last breath did he realize what he was doing and his fingers went limp.

"Are – are you all right?" Ororo asked, her hands going to her neck involuntarily when he released her. For a moment there she'd thought he was going to strangle her but now his hands were reaching for hers, squeezing tight and he looked astoundingly lovesick.

"Baby, look I'm . . . I'm sorry for everything. I fu . . . I mean I screwed up big time an' I know it. I know it was my fault what happened between you an' the runt but it don't matter what you did behind my back I know you wouldn't never cheated on me if I hadn't done what I did an' all so I ain't mad with you. Sweetie, Ro, baby you gotta believe me. You want me to apologize ten times over I will okay? I'm sorry for everything I done to ya an' it ain't never gonna happen again I swear to God. We can work this out baby just give me a chance."

That threw her. Victor never apologized. She tugged at her hands and he reluctantly released them, watching her closely to see if his plea had worked. Her hands hurt from being squeezed so tight and she flexed them a few times, her eyes watching the smooth brown fingers but not really seeing them. It was a long time before she could look at Victor again.

"I can't deal with all this right now," she breathed glancing at him briefly.

"You think Logan's any better 'n me?" Victor bellowed startling her with his vehemence.

"Victor, please! Keep your voice down, everyone in the hospital's going to hear you!"

"So? I don't give a flying . . ."

"Everything all right in here?" Logan asked as he stepped past the curtain.

"Hell yeah everything's fine you . . ." Victor caught himself. His lips twisted this way and that in his effort to hold back the cuss words he wanted to rain down on Logan. Finally he was able to speak without the venom he felt.

"You been takin' real good care of Ro for me – wanna thank you for that."

He didn't miss the looks they automatically gave each other but he noticed Ororo looked away quickly and that lifted his spirits. She was full of guilt. He could tell. He could use that to keep her. Truthfully he didn't blame her, he knew stuff happened when you didn't mean for it to besides he'd felt the same way all the time he'd been trying to forget he'd stepped out on her. It wasn't a good feeling, one he'd never felt before to be honest but it made him understand something of how she must be feeling. That guilt would enable him to keep her. He was positive of that but he'd have to play nice, make her think he wasn't jealous or angry with the runt, that he hadn't really tried to kill Logan and would never do something like that and most especially make her feel she was the only thing that mattered to him. He let out a disgusted snort. As much as he hated to admit it that was the God's honest truth. Pussy whipped was his middle name. He hated that.

"I think I should let the doctor know you're awake," Ororo said but she hesitated. She surprised him and gave him a small smile and said, "I'm glad you're all right, Victor."

"Yeah, you know me nothin' can hurt me – 'cept you."

She looked startled by yet another unexpected confession from him.

"You gonna come back soon?" he asked.

"I . . . yes, of course," she stammered.

"I'll bring her back if she wants to come," Logan said.

The men stared at each other each aware of the game they were playing.

"I don't need your help," Ororo said, almost coldly before darting out.

"So what's on your mind, Logan?" Victor asked.

"Same thing on your mind I reckon," Logan replied.

"You ain't' gonna win – you never do against me."

Logan was silent. Victor and he had gone through a lot and most of it wasn't good but they'd managed to maintain a friendship and with that friendship there were unspoken rules that he'd respected but now the gloves were off. He didn't feel good about what he'd done to Victor. He'd tried his best to leave Ororo alone all these months but in the end his hunger for Ororo had won out. He didn't like being underhanded but that's how he was playing it now, stooping to Victor's level. Hell, if he were honest with himself he'd stooped to that level way before Vic tried to kill him this time around. He couldn't blame Victor for that but he was sure going to make Ororo see what kind of man Victor was. Whatever kind of friendship he and Vic had was over.

There was nothing either of them wanted to say and shortly a male doctor entered followed by Ororo. After examining Victor the doctor determined he had suffered a severe concussion but other than that he'd escaped with minor scrapes and bruises. All the while the wheels in his brain were ticking. He watched Ororo intently as he determined his next step. Before the doctor left Victor indicated he had pains in his chest and his left arm and to his satisfaction tests were recommended before the doctor retired.

"I want you to watch my place for me tonight, okay, Ro?" Victor said when she said she had to go.

"I don't know about that. Didn't you lock the door?" she asked.

"I don't remember. But, hey, you know the neighborhood an' all those crumb snatchers hangin' around who knows what they might do. Can't you do that for me? I mean it ain't much I'm askin' for!" he said, his voice thick with accusation.

"Fine! I'll go," she snapped. She felt he was being too demanding but it was as good an excuse as any to get away. She took full advantage of that and left without another word hoping Logan wouldn't follow and infinitely relieved when he didn't.

"So you wanna give up now or you wanna play games, runt?" Victor asked before Logan could go after Ororo.

"I don't play games. You know that man."

"Then what you call sleepin' with my woman, huh?"

"What did you expect, Vic? You two-timed the best woman you ever had! And you went behind _my_ back an' slept with my girlfriend, I mean what do you expect from me? By all rights I should be the one tryin' to kill _your_ ass."

"Don't try turnin' this around, dude. Ro's mine an' she's gonna stay mine. Just stay the hell away from her."

"You ever think if you hadn't slept with Jean none of this would've happened, huh?" Logan asked.

Victor could only glare at him but Logan didn't stop there, his argument had made him see how right he truly was.

"Yeah, I thought 'Roro was fine, damn straight, but I never ever would've gone after her, man if you hadn't screwed her an' _me_ over. You need to remember that."

"I'm gonna kick your scrawny little ass when I get out of here you know that right?"

"You can try."

"We're finished you know that right?"

Logan gave him a feral grin and said, "No kidding."

"Get out," Victor retorted.

"She's a grown woman, Vic she wants you fine but if she don't . . ." his words trailed off and he shook his head then walked out feeling, for the moment, that he was in the right.

Elsewhere Ororo sought out Cecilia. She was angry and scared but she had to know if she was infected. She waited impatiently for a nurse to contact Cecilia. Any minute she expected to see Logan coming down the hall. She tapped her nails nervously on the arms of the chair and crossed and uncrossed her legs repeatedly. Finally after ten minutes Cecilia came out.

Competent as always Cecilia explained what the testing entailed, that if the results were negative another test at the end of three months would be necessary and probably, to be safe, another one in six months. Victor's infidelity had turned into something worse than she had imagined. She wondered if her own infidelity would be as problematic, knew she should insist that Logan be tested but she didn't want to think about him any more than she wanted to think about Victor.

When Logan had tried to pull her to him when they'd been outside Victor's bed she'd nearly given in. She'd wanted his lips on hers, wanted to feel those delectable kisses again, wanted to feel loved and safe and happy but she'd forced herself to resist. She didn't know if she had the strength to do that again and the only way to prevent that was by not seeing him - ever.

"Is there anything I can get you, Ororo?" Cecilia asked.

"Poison. You can give me poison, any kind of painless poison so I can end my misery," Ororo said disheartened.

"Life is full of trials honey," Cecilia said softly. "Maybe it would help to spend some time in the Chapel?"

Ororo laughed. "No, that's not going help me, CeeCee. Nothing's going to help me except leaving the country of death."

"I know many people have found solace in our chapel, Ororo. I've had a lot of patients swear their prayers were answered in there."

"Thanks, CeeCee I know you're trying to help but until I know if I'm HIV positive or not nothing can help me. Honestly, Cecilia I don't think prayer would help me anyway. I shouldn't have been a slut but I was and now I'm paying for it."

"Girl, you've never been a slut!"

"You don't even know, Cee."

"What I do know about you, Ororo is that you're a decent woman, you're caring and kind, you've got a big heart and you don't deserve any of this."

"Then tell me why this happened to me if I'm so good?" Ororo raged.

"I – I don't know but hon we don't know if you're positive or not. Odds are, from what you've told me, you aren't. It isn't as easy to get infected as people think. You didn't have unprotected sex, you weren't sharing needles. You did use condoms didn't you?"

Ororo caught her breath and held it for a moment. She hadn't told anyone what had happened between her and Logan.

"It was only one time," she finally admitted.

Cecilia nodded.

"And that's all it takes you said so yourself," Ororo said.

Cecilia didn't know what to say to that. Knowing Ororo as well as she'd thought she'd assumed there was nothing to worry about but she knew without a doubt that one incident of unprotected sex could infect her.

"Well say something," Ororo moaned.

"Human immuno deficiency is a virulent virus but it doesn't have to mean death in this day and age, Ororo. We have medication, pills that can give you a long life, a productive life. You can have children. It's not like when we first discovered the virus and there was no medication, there have been advances . . ."

"I don't want to talk about advances!"

"I understand. We can talk when you're up to it."

"You understand everything don't you?" Ororo asked; her voice bitter.

"I know you're angry and confused and hurt but Ororo if you need to talk about the bastard or just cry I'm here for you."

Ororo smiled despite herself.

"He is a bastard, an arrogant, selfish bastard."

"Let the anger out its good for you."

"Oh, CeeCee, what am I going to do? I mean how can I have a normal life? What would I tell everyone if . . .?"

"Your life would be just as normal as anyone else for the most part. You'd have to warn any sexual partners of course, take proper precautions when having sex and the meds do have some side effects but . . ."

"Cecilia I don't need your clinical observations right now," Ororo snapped.

Cecilia released her breath slowly then nodded. "Bedside manner's not always easy for me," she admitted then continued, "but I just want you to believe that your life will be fine . . . even if you are positive."

"Oh look at me! I'm snapping your head off as if you did this to me! I'm sorry, Cecilia. I know you're only trying to help me, I do but all I want to do right now is forget everything."

Cecilia decided to hold her tongue for now. The best thing for Ororo was getting her tested as quickly as possible. She found a nurse to take the blood sample and told Ororo she'd wait with her if she wanted her to but Ororo didn't have the heart to wait or the nerve. She asked her friend to call her with the results, thanked her and left.

There was a taxi stand just up the street from the emergency room Ororo was hoping one would be there. No such luck however. The rain hadn't stopped either. Fortunately there was a nearby bus stop with a covered shelter so she ducked inside, pulled her cell phone out and called information. She had no desire to call her friends, didn't want to come up with answers, just plain didn't want to face them yet so she waited impatiently for the cab hoping against hope that she'd effectively evaded Logan.

But it didn't seem as if lady luck was on her side tonight because after ten minutes she saw Logan come outside swiveling his head around as he looked up and down the street. She slumped down against the back of the bench she was sitting on and covered her head with one arm in an attempt to be as unobvious as she could manage. Again her luck didn't hold. He saw her and trotted over. But just as it looked as if her luck had run out completely suddenly the tide turned. A taxi pulled up and Ororo bolted for it even before it came to a complete stop. She was in the cab and shutting the door before Logan got to her. Unfortunately Logan stepped in front of the cab waving a wad of money and all the relief she'd felt was replaced with a burning anger.

She glared at him. "Leave me alone, Logan! Go back to your imbecile of a girlfriend!" she spat.

"Just give me a minute will you?"

"Can we please get out of here, sir?" Ororo said but the cab driver, seeing Logan's fist full of green bills hesitated.

Feeling defeated and a little stupid Logan gave the driver a nod of thanks before handing him a twenty. After another look at Ororo's unwelcoming face he stepped back, gave her a pained look then told the driver to go on.

As they started off Ororo was steaming. She wanted to tell the driver not to take his money but then she remembered she had little cash on her. Still, she resented Logan's help and that she had to accept it and that he always seemed to be there for her and that he was dogging her steps and imposing himself on her and that she'd been stupid enough to sleep with him not even knowing or caring if she was HIV positive and that it had been so good, just what she needed after Victor's betrayal. It wasn't fair – life wasn't fair. It should have been Victor treating her like this, taking care of her, running after her, he should have been like Logan! Why did everything have to be so crazy she thought before she broke down and cried?

The driver, who'd tried his best to ignore Ororo sobbing in the backseat, dropped her off in record time glad to be rid of her and thankful for the tip she gave him in addition to Logan's twenty. Tears were replaced with anger when Ororo walked into the courtyard. She was angry with herself because she'd allowed Victor to talk her into coming back to this place by playing the guilt card. What did it matter to her if every child in the neighborhood broke in and stole every last insignificant thing he owned? Not that they would of course but still.

And only Victor would think of such a thing. Just thinking about those sweet children attempting to ransack his apartment was irritating. Victor had never understood the children, was never remotely friendly to them. They had been afraid of him until she'd laughed at their fear and told them he was nothing but a gruff old teddy bear with a great big old heart. Well that was a joke and on her no less. Victor wasn't the sweet man she'd led herself to believe. Oh no, not by a long shot. A teddy bear? What a line she'd fed herself! He was – he was – he wasn't even a real man! A real man didn't cheat on you; a real man didn't treat you like you didn't matter! A real man didn't come back with some horrible disease that might kill you!

She was so angry now she felt tears threatening to spill forth again but she was determined not to cry again. She wasn't going to waste her tears on a man that obviously didn't deserve her. She'd given him everything and he'd ruined it! They'd been good together. She'd almost convinced herself he was the right man for her that maybe, just maybe there could be a future for them. What a fool she'd been. Letting good sex, cheap Sizzler dinners and sunsets on the beach lull her into a false sense of complacency! Sizzler of all places! She'd been settling for second class when she deserved first class, premium, the best! And what did he do to show her how much he cared? Sleep with Logan's bimbo girlfriend! That woman couldn't even pronounce her name right!

She wanted to scream, to lash out and destroy something and in her anger she raced up the steps ready to rip the door off the hinges only her foot missed a step and she tripped and fell. That when the tears started again. She righted herself feeling pain shoot through her scrapped knee. Couldn't anything go right tonight? Her head sunk into her hands and she let the tears flow. Maybe a good cry was just what she needed; maybe she'd feel better if she just let all her anguish out without holding back like she had in the cab. Maybe after a good cry she'd be able to think with a clearer head. A good cry was healing after all wasn't it?

Yet the tears only made her feel helpless. She shouldn't have come back to Victor's. She didn't want to be there, didn't want to be reminded of all the good times they'd had. She wanted to dwell on the few bad times they'd had like the way he'd treated Anna, taking her to Jack in the Box for her birthday, or how he didn't recycle or care about the environment and never read anything more than the sports pages and the comic strips or the way he didn't care about her playing strip poker with his friends because if he'd loved her he wouldn't have let her. Common sense told her that, something of which she was sorely lacking these past months and Victor as well.

Of course Victor didn't know what love was. He'd let Logan drop in uninvited and unannounced from the very beginning and eventually to the point where the man had moved in with them! How could they have had a normal relationship with him staring at her all the time watching her every move? And Logan didn't have to break into the apartment all the time he had his own key! It had taken Victor ages before he finally gave her one. And how could she have just blown off the fact that Victor was every bit the ex con he looked like what had she been thinking? He never said thank you for anything she did for him either, not when she baked brownies or gave him a massage and not even when she'd taken all that time to redecorate his shabby little efficiency so it looked more like a home! The ungrateful SOB!

And he thought the children were incorrigible? She sniffed as she remembered sweet little Elsie Dee and Artie, the children she'd played with sometimes. She remembered how much they'd loved playing in the rain, how surprised they'd been. She'd never be able to do that again now. He'd ruined everything. She wiped at her face with the bottom of her shirt as she remembered one particular evening when she'd played in the rain with Logan. It felt like a lifetime ago. He'd been so aloof until that day. Why hadn't she left him alone? Why hadn't she tried harder to get him to go back to Jean? She'd known he liked her, known and done nothing to discourage it. It was her fault.

No, it was all Logan's fault – everything! He'd been creeping around giving her those smoldering looks that had made her want him against her will! And Jean, she couldn't forget that witch, she was really the cause of all their problems. If Jean could've kept a rein on her sexual appetites then maybe Victor wouldn't have had an opportunity and wouldn't have been with her but no! Jean was crazy and . . . and . . .

"What am I doing?" she moaned aloud. "I sound crazy – crazier than Jean! I was the one who couldn't control my man. I wasn't enough for him. I've always been lousy with men. I deserve this! "

There was some truth to that she knew. She'd been so into the sex she'd forgiven all Victor's idiosyncrasies and maybe by ignoring them that had lead him to take her for granted. Maybe she shouldn't have been so easy going, so giving. And of course she shouldn't have allowed Logan any where near her. They'd played with fire and they'd both known it. She'd tried to pretend it was nothing but she couldn't deny the thrill she got when he watched her knowing he wanted her.

They were all to blame but playing the blame game wasn't doing any good. She shivered slightly feeling chilled. It was cold with the rain and she didn't have a jacket. She knew it was going to rain all night and she'd just get soaked worse if she stayed on the stairs so she got up and stumbled along. She knew what she had to do. She'd change into some dry clothes and call a cab to take her home, avoid Remy if at all possible and take a long hot shower then curl up in her own bed and sleep for a day and a half if she could. Surely Remy would be out with Yukio and she could sneak in unseen. That made her feel a little better but when she turned the light on when she entered the small apartment the every familiar piece of furniture, every little improvement she'd made was illuminated and she felt heart sick.

"What was I thinking? He doesn't deserve any of this!"

The efficiency was simply yet effectively decorated so that it had become a comfortable haven for her and Victor – and Logan. She looked around in astonishment. She'd labored so hard to make it nice without making it feminine or something Victor wouldn't like. All the shopping and sewing and . . .

In one swift move she swept everything from the table. Candles and glasses went flying. She pulled the tablecloth off and then found herself laughing at the sight of the unattractive oversized wooden spool that was revealed. He'd lived like a kid away from home for the first time only the television those ugly Lazy Boys had mattered to him. Oh, she'd forgotten the bed. The expensive mattress so he could enjoy his women. She felt sick that she'd been one of them, so blind and stupid, so trusting!

Anger suddenly turned into an overwhelming desire to pay Victor back for all the misery she felt now and like a mythological Fury she ran into the kitchen determined to remove every last item she'd ever purchased or brought there – the dishes in the sink, baking pans from cupboards, flatware from drawers, everything. Soon the counter was covered with things. She'd be damned if she was going to let another woman use them and still fuming she pulled out a box of trash bags from under the sink and began prying them apart. In her excitement she ripped several and had to shake the clinging plastic off her. Could nothing go right for once?

Snarling curses at the bags she finally managed to get one open. Pans and forks and spoons and anything that wouldn't break were stuffed into it until it was so full she could barely close the drawstrings. What had she been thinking she wondered? It looked as if she'd moved in with him with all the stuff she had. Another thought to incite her wrath. She'd show him, she thought. He'd come home and find no trace of her! More containers were needed though – boxes but where could she get some this late?

The glasses and plates and bowls would break in bags. Finally her eyes lit on the recycle bin. Of course! But how to keep the beautiful stemware she bought from breaking? Out of the corner of her eye she saw the long beige curtains she'd made from sheets that divided the kitchen from the living room and without a second thought she yanked them down, rod and all. She turned the bin over letting the beer cans and bottles and cereal boxes and other items spill out onto the floor then lined the bin with the curtains. She pulled a long roll of paper towels off the roll and began wrapping the glasses then placed them gently in the recycle bin. At least she'd still have some lovely crystal she thought with a sad smile. Only the thought of using the glasses was too upsetting. Every time she sipped from one it she would think of Victor.

She screamed as loud as she could in the empty efficiency grabbing two handfuls of her wet hair and pulling hard like a woman gone mad. The pain should have brought her to her senses but instead it only egged her on and she raced out of the kitchen and began ripping down every curtain she'd made for him. When the windows were bare she then turned to the bed snatching the comforter, sheets and pillows off throwing everything into a pile leaving only the thick mattress cover she'd purchased months ago and the dust ruffle. She looked around at the destruction she'd caused unaware she was nearly out of breath.

"You'll never even know I was here you son of a bitch!" she said as went into the bathroom.

She resisted the urge to pull a Jean and shatter the mirror or do further damage and gathered soaps and shampoo and conditioner, deodorant and lotions and perfume. It was pathetic the few personal items she had there. What had she been thinking? She didn't even have a spare tampon there. Now, that should have been a warning sign, not brining in things that she knew he couldn't tolerate. Theirs had never been a real relationship, she hadn't moved in she'd just spent nights there screwing. With a shake of her head she threw everything into the sink then retrieved another trash bag to stash the items in.

"Stupid! Idiotic! Fool!" she screeched as she worked.

Finally satisfied that nothing of hers remained in the bathroom, the kitchen or the living and sleeping areas she dragged every last trash bag as well as the recycle bin to the front door.

"Never! Ever! Allow myself to be this stupid again!" she groaned as she got the door open despite two bags clutched in her hands.

The coolness of the night was sobering as she stepped outside. It had stopped raining though she heard a low groan of thunder in the distance. She wiped at the sweat falling in her eyes and shoved the recycle bin ahead of her with one foot then started out after it only to stop dead in her tracks.

Logan was standing by the railing, his head turned in her direction. She could see he'd been looking out over the courtyard before she came out. How long had he been there? And had he heard her carrying on like a crazy person?

He turned completely around so he was facing her. The sight of Ororo, kicking at a container on the ground while she held two garbage bags haphazardly, her wild disheveled hair framing her angry, grim face now washed over with shock would normally have been an amusing even slightly erotic sight to Logan but now all he was concerned about was whether or not she was all right.

"Hey," he said.

Less startled now but annoyed, she trudged past him leaving the bin behind, one heavy bag slung over her shoulder and dragging the other one. Was she leaving for good then he wondered? It was the most obvious thing of course but he hadn't expected that besides she didn't have a car. But she was going down the steps like a woman on a mission. Seeing that she was almost out of sight he picked up the plastic box and started after her. When he caught up with her much to his surprise he saw she hadn't packed up her belongings with the intention of leaving she was throwing Victors things away!

For just a second Logan felt his loyalty to Victor kick in. He wanted to stop her. When women went crazy on a guy you had to stick together. And then he came to his senses. What did he care if she was throwing Vic's things out? The lug would be lucky if that was all she was going to do. He watched as she heaved the bags, one at a time into the dumpster with surprising strength.

"Throw it in too," she said when she saw him holding the recycle bin then without another word she headed back.

Without questioning her he quickly tossed his burden in. At the sound of glass breaking he wondered what exactly it was that she was throwing away. Victor's model cars wouldn't make noise like that, sounded more like glasses – maybe beer bottles? He peered into the open door of the dark dumpster and tugged at the curtain that she'd used inside the recycling bin. His mouth fell open when he saw the glasses. It didn't make sense. All those nice glasses and teacups she'd bought. Why had she thrown them away? It wasn't as if Victor would care, he'd been fine with his mix-matched mugs and a few shot glasses.

At a loss he turned and went after her, which was exactly what Ororo didn't want. She could feel his presence and against her wishes she felt a small thrill of pleasure knowing that he was making so much effort still, this wasn't the time and certainly not the place for them to work out the complicated mess they'd gotten themselves into and he should know that.

Something told her he wasn't going anywhere though so she stood in the doorway blocking his way. He should have taken the hint, she hoped he would but he was stubbornly standing there looking at her with a look that made her gut feel woozy. He, like Victor was one of the manliest men she'd ever met. They were macho stereotypes something she never imagined being attracted to and yet their masculinity drew her to both of them like an aphrodisiac. Seeing the uncertain even hurt look on Logan's face unsettled her even more. She wanted to be angry with him but he looked so repentant and handsome and oozing so much sex appeal that she simply couldn't be.

"Damn you," she whispered harshly.

His hair was slicked back from the rain making him look endearingly tousled. His white t-shirt underneath his unzipped leather jacket was soaked through revealing the fine cuts of his pecs. She remembered running her hands over his chest and abs, the thrill it gave her being with him after all the months trying not to acknowledge her desire because he was Victor's best friend.

It was the memory of their lovemaking that came unbidden that turned the tide. She gave in without a fight, just reached out and grabbed him with one hand by the jacket, pulled him inside and slammed the door behind them. It was all Logan needed. He lifted her even as she strove to kiss him, her lips landing on his nose, his cheek, his chin. She laughed and he stopped his tread and with one hand behind her head he pressed her face close to his. They looked at each other for a slow moment. They could end this now and they both knew it.

Instead they kissed. The moment passed without regret. They kissed as if they'd been apart for months instead of hours, hungrily even desperately. She was pulling at this jacket as she moaned beneath his kisses.

"Want you . . . hate you . . ." The words a statement and an accusation.

But he barely heard her. He carried her to the bed not noticing the lack of bedding only aware of Ororo. Her hands were in his hair pulling as she thrust her tongue into his mouth wanting him in every way. He groaned as he laid her on the bed and stretched out on top of her wanting her just as urgently.

Outside thunder bellowed sounding closer now and slowly it began to storm again. Rain splattered noisily almost in rhythm with their lovemaking. And when lightning lit the sky their naked bodies were revealed slick with sweat, entwined as if they would never let go of one another again.


	28. Guilty Decisions

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin **

**Chapter Twenty-eight – Guilty Decisions**

**A/N – **Once again I'm sorry for the delay, my apologies to any who may be reading this still, the lateness in updates is entirely from my indecisiveness as to the ending but I actually figured it out last week and next chapter should be it. There may be an epilogue after that though. I'm thinking after this story I should be appropriately stoned – with rocks mind you – and made to write a true RoLo.

**xox**

Sometime in the night Ororo had pulled free from Logan's arms, retrieved the bed comforter in the pile of bedding on the floor, covered them both and laid down to contemplate what had just happened. That they had fallen asleep almost immediately after they'd made love was hard to believe but truthfully she was exhausted and imagined Logan was too. She looked at him now and though she didn't want to she smiled. He was handsome in that rugged way that turned her on so much but more than that he looked boyishly innocent as he slept. He really seemed to care for her and she was making a mess out of things every time she turned to him. It didn't make sense this bond they felt. It should have been Victor not Logan. Of course now she was glad the sudden concrete yet indescribably bond slash, attraction had never occurred between them. Sheer animal magnetism didn't count.

Logan was reaching for her now with one arm. He was half asleep, smiling sleepily and she went back into his arms without thought.

"Where did you think you were going?" he murmured playfully.

"I didn't mean to go to asleep. We should get out of here."

"Don't worry it's still early."

"What if Victor . . . ?"

"He's in the hospital remember? Got himself admitted."

How could she forget?

"Don't worry, I'll take care of you," he whispered.

The sentiment was endearing and she wished he really could knowing tomorrow would be a different story. It didn't matter that she felt safe in his arms, that she finally felt better after all the hell Victor had put her through. In the morning everything would be back the way it had been, there was no future for them. Plain and simple she couldn't be with Victor's friend. It was the last thought she had before sleep overtook her.

Early morning came with a thunderous commotion outside. Ororo bolted upright, a hand clutching her chest.

"Victor! He'll kill us!" she cried as the noise subsided.

Logan sat up immediately protectively throwing an arm out in front of her. He leaned forward listening intently, heard the low echoing thud of thunder receding then suddenly lightning flashed and the noise from the bright display filled the air joined with a huge clap of thunder almost simultaneously. They were in the heart of the storm and they realized that was the noise she'd heard. She looked at him somewhat sheepishly.

"I thought . . ."

"Yeah, I know."

He stretched his arms trying to get feeling in them again after holding her all night. She watched him warily. When he saw the wary look on her face he chuckled.

"You're looking at me like you think I'm the devil, darlin'."

"Maybe you are," she commented.

"_Me_, huh?" He chuckled again clearly amused.

"This isn't funny, none of it is, Logan."

"Know that."

"So what – never mind, forget it. I need to get out of here."

He caught her arm, pulled her to him, found her lips and kissed them urgently.

"Don't go," he said, almost a plea.

"We can't do this."

"Why? We already did – a few times," he added.

She pushed him almost playfully and yet not very gently.

"I'm serious."

"Wanna go to my place then?"

"Your place?" She almost laughed.

"Still got the place," he muttered as he nibbled at her neck.

"You are something else, Logan . . . I don't even know your last name!"

"Howlett."

"Howlett," she repeated thoughtfully the name playing over her tongue as her mind tried the sound of it in varying manners – Ororo Howlett, Mrs. Howlett, Mrs. Logan Howlett.

As he observed Ororo peacefully daydreaming he realized there was peace with her even with all the things that had gone down last night. His lips were seeking hers again and she didn't try to stop him this time. Somehow they ended up making love in the shower, something Logan had been dying to do ever since he'd moved in with them though she didn't know this. They were getting dressed when they heard keys jingling at the door and before either of them could do anything Victor was standing there looking as surprised as they looked.

"So this is how it's gonna be, huh?" Victor asked.

He shut the door and started into the kitchen then stopped mid stride. He looked around the efficiency. It looked as empty and unlived in as it had before he'd met Ororo. The difference was more than jarring. He felt a strange tightness in his chest as he realized how much Ororo had given him and what he was now losing but then he remembered his game plan. He wasn't planning to lose her. He glanced at Logan who was stuffing his arms into his jacket.

"You get tested?" he asked them.

Ororo nodded her reply and Logan looked at her in surprise.

"I don't have it. Cecelia called me on my way over here," she said, barely looking at Logan.

"Well, knowing my man Logan like I do he used rubbers right? So you got nothin' ta worry about," Victor said quite cheerfully.

"Always," Logan said.

"Good boy," Victor said with enthusiasm and then he went into the kitchen.

Ororo threw a panicked look at Logan as she pulled her top on over her bra.

"Look, Vic . . ." Logan started but Victor interrupted him.

"What? Oh, you think I'm upset, that it? Nah. I got what was comin' to me. I screwed up big time. Want a beer?"

Ororo and Logan looked at each other wondering the same thing – had Victor suffered some kind of brain damage in the accident?

"Beer?" Victor repeated his question now holding a bottle out to Logan just like he always did – the perfect host.

It was an automatic response for Logan as he went into the kitchen accepting the beer. The two rivals stood in the middle of the little kitchen drinking neither of them looking at the other though there was no more than a foot or two between them. Ororo couldn't figure out what to make of this turn of events. They were drinking beer as if nothing unusual had happened within the last 48 hours. Were men really that forgiving of each other? It hardly seemed possible. She slipped her shoes on determined to get away as soon as possible.

"You know they say the wages of sin's death. Did you know that?" Victor piped up. When they only stared at him questioningly he grinned and continued, "Met this guy at the hospital, they put me in the same room with him. He was beat up pretty bad too. Guess someone got tired of listenin' to him preachin' twenty-four seven.

"Turns out he's Mystie's kid! He's a full grown man too, Lo. I knew the bit – um, I mean I knew she was old but damn, didn't know she had a kid almost as old as us! Excuse the French, sweetie it's just Mystie was my old girlfriend, got bad memories."

"That's nice," Ororo muttered.

"Not really. So like I was sayin' the wages of sin's death right? That's what he told me – you know I've seen him before too, he was always in a priest outfit out in front of Xavier's. You know the dude, Lo – remember that kook always handing out religious stuff?"

Logan peeked at Ororo, saw her glaring at him and turned his attention back to Victor.

"So what happened see, was we talked all night an' turns out he ain't as crazy as I thought. I figured I got to find religion before, well you know, before anything happens after all what if the dude's right? An' you know what? I feel like a new man, like I'm changed for the better."

Ororo wondered briefly if he was drunk. Logan knew a scam when he saw one and knew Victor was pulling any stunt he thought would work to keep Ororo his. Only he couldn't understand what religion had to do with it. Why would Ororo care if he found God or not?

"So I'm gonna check out his church with him Sunday an' I want you to come to Ro. You too Lo. It'll do us all some good."

"What?" Ororo and Logan chorused together. Things were getting odder and odder every time Victor opened his mouth.

"Yeah," he said with a satisfied nod then finished his beer.

"I have to go," Ororo said but before she could take a step Victor headed towards her and she stopped in her tracks.

"Don't go baby, we gotta talk about this. I'm gonna change, you'll see. I mean, I might be dying! You can't just walk out on me now!"

Logan wasn't sure he heard his old friend right. He was actually begging!

"I don't know wh . . ."

There was that old attraction still lingering. She could feel it as he approached. She didn't know what to say or how to extract herself from all he was throwing at her. He might be dying, he was so tall and strong, he would need someone to look after him, he was so commanding . . . so many conflicting emotions. In some crazy way she was still attuned to him but because of the virus she felt uncomfortable saying anything negative. She wanted to say no, she wanted to go but she couldn't move. You didn't just break up with a man you'd been seeing when he found out he was ill, that wasn't right.

"I might be dying sooner than I thought," he said. "Ask your doctor friend if you don't believe me."

"What?"

"I got diabetes an' I got a heart condition too," he said.

"What?" It was all Ororo could say. Surely he wasn't serious.

"So she's not sure if the drugs she wants me to take are going to help or hurt me, go figure."

"Are you serious?"

"Ask her for yourself."

"Victor . . ."

"You don't have to feel sorry for me I'll be all right if you want to go," he said and he gave her an apathetic look.

All her guilt came rushing back. Of course she couldn't desert him, not if what he was saying was true and it had to be if he wanted her to check with Cecilia, she thought. He took her hand in his and pressed a warm kiss against it, which shocked all three of them in varying degrees, and it worked exactly as Victor planned. Ororo felt her guilt warring with her common sense but they both led to the same conclusion. She couldn't and wouldn't walk out on him just yet. She let him wrap an arm around her. He kissed her forehead then grinned at Logan triumphantly.

"Come on, Lo bro you gotta kiss an' make up with my woman – you know you want to," Victor said with a smile as wide as the infamous Cheshire cat.

If they hadn't been shocked already by Victor's peculiarly out of character behavior they would have been now. Ororo tried to move away from him but he engulfed her in both arms and kissed the hair on the top of her head, eying Logan all the while.

"Yo, dude, what's your problem? You want me to kick your ass? Get your head outta your ass an' say you're sorry to my woman so we can all forget whatever went down between you two." Victor said, looking as if he wanted to laugh.

"Logan . . ." Ororo began but what could she say to him in front of Victor, she thought.

Expecting her to set Victor straight Logan starred at her waiting but when she didn't say anything else he knew once again she'd made her decision. He couldn't believe she was so stupid she was falling for Victor's lies but she wasn't even trying to get away from him; in fact she was letting him kiss her just like they were still together. It made him sick. Feeling worse than defeated he tramped out the apartment slamming the door behind him.

"Why did you do that?" Ororo demanded when she was able to free herself from his arms.

"What?"

She wasn't sure if he really didn't know or if he was playing with her.

"Can't a man kiss his woman? Oh, you mean about wantin' you two to make up? Guess I don't wanna break up what we got goin' – you know, kinda like the three musketeers – you know, Mickey an' Donald an' – who was that other one? Mickey's or Donna's girl, whatever, you know what I mean."

"Victor, I can't be . . ."

"I know I can't believe it either, baby! I was thinkin' it was all over with us an' I come home an' here you are waitin' for me. Hey, you know what? I found out you can't get AIDS from me, they told me at the hospital. I mean we gotta be careful an' use rubbers an' all but we always did that anyway so it's cool, huh?"

He kissed her but she didn't feel the stirring within her that she'd felt when Logan had kissed her. He was too rough, too aggressive. His touch was disgusting to her, it turned her off and she pulled back breaking the kiss.

"Why don't you go brush your teeth an' we can have some fun," he said, letting her go and then – "You redecorating?"

She'd gave him an incredulous look then sighed.

"I'm glad you're all right, Victor but I'm going home. Goodbye," she said, moving quickly to the door as she spoke.

But when she got outside there was no sign of Logan or his car. She stood there in the courtyard in the pouring rain and wanted to cry. He had deserted her when she'd needed him most. And then Victor was standing beside her throwing an arm around her trying to get her to come back in. She didn't see the satisfied look on his face and allowed him to lead her back inside.

He tried to get her to change into some of his clothes, to wait while her's dried but she wasn't having it and since he was being on his best behavior he'd been forced to drive her home in the Cherokee. All he could do was pretend to be understanding so he kissed her goodbye, told her he'd call her then drove off waving like a devoted boyfriend – devoid of any sense of reality she thought bitterly. Why couldn't he just admit it wasn't going to work? She had no intention of going back to him, he had to know that.

Sadly things don't often turn out as one hopes. Logan didn't call her. She knew he didn't have her number but she also knew Yukio would've given it to him if he'd only asked. On the other hand she couldn't bring herself to ask Yukio anything about Logan either and when her friend returned to Japan later that week they'd never once mentioned him. They'd kissed and made plans to have a better visit next time and that was it. Ororo felt guilty because she was glad Yukio was gone and out of Logan's life.

In fact, guilt ate away at her unmercifully night and day. It didn't help that Victor was dogging her every move. Somehow, she didn't know how, but he'd gotten her schedule and had started haunting her home and job. The very first day she had to go back to work he was waiting for her outside her townhouse with candy and flowers. Instead of causing a scene she accepted the ride, thinking it was the perfect opportunity to tell him it was over, that she wished him the best and they had to go their separate ways but after accepting the flowers and candy, which she realized was a mistake even as she did so, he'd told her how much he missed her, needed her and how he would do anything for her even change for her and then he'd started telling her how dangerously high his cholesterol was and the 'cocktail' he was taking for the HIV would raise his already high cholesterol so he'd need more medication for that and he'd have to suffer bouts of severe diarrhea, the latter being something she really didn't want to know or need to know she thought. He'd continued on about a whole plethora of things she didn't want to hear. In the end he'd made her feel so guilty that she'd hadn't been able to tell him they were finished and she'd just been glad to be free of him.

Thinking he'd won her over he told her to have a good flight, kissed her goodbye and left. That was it. He hadn't asked her to come back to him, hadn't asked her for anything in fact, which gave her some small comfort but even so she'd dreaded returning from her trip, dreaded having to see him when he came to pick her up. Amazingly he hadn't shown. Instead he'd had Remy pick her up, which was strange in it. Apparently Remy and Victor had talked one day – when she wondered? – and they'd come to some kind of understanding, which she deeply resented though she didn't say anything. She didn't want Remy and Anna or Yukio and Betsy or anyone else for that matter to know the close call she'd had. What's more Cecilia had told her another test should be done in three months and another three months after that just to be completely positive. So far Remy hadn't acted any differently around her, which made her think Victor didn't want Remy to know either which gave her some peace of mind. She'd only had to suffer Remy's standard lecture about her choice in men, something she took to heart this time, something that actually helped her come to a definite decision.

**xox**

After realizing what she had to do she did a little juggling of her scheduled so she could have a few days off. It wasn't easy staying home and evading her friends questioning looks but they tried to give her the privacy that she needed. She knew what she had to do though she wasn't happy with her decision. She drove over to see Logan one evening hoping and dreading that he'd be there and feeling both relief and terror when she saw his motorcycle in the lot. Her hands suddenly felt clammy as she balled them into fist. She had to bite her lip in order to steel her nerves. Once in the hallway several times she started to knock and then backed away giving herself any number of arguments why she shouldn't be there but when someone came out of another apartment she quickly knocked. Maybe he wouldn't be in, she thought with a sense of doom.

"Door's open," he called out in his deep husky voice.

Fighting back a momentarily rush of panic she opened the door. Logan barely looked away from what he was doing but the brief glance he spared caused him to do an immediate double take. Standing in his doorway was the one person he'd been thinking about almost every hour for the past few days. He stared at Ororo for a moment then turned away and went back to throwing knives into a dartboard.

One, two, three knives she counted, each struck the target sinking deep into the center of the board as well as the wall behind it from the sound of it she mused. He never missed. It was unnerving seeing him studiously playing darts with knives and it reminded her that she didn't really know Victor or Logan as well as she should.

"Thought you were Jubilee," he said after his knives were depleted.

"Jubilee?"

"The kid next door. You met her that night . . ."

Neither of them wanted to talk about that particular night so when he didn't follow through Ororo let it drop. She looked around the apartment. It wasn't immaculate but it was certainly cleaner than Victor's had been when she'd first met him. Logan looked around self consciously then stood up from the couch and began to pick up stray bottles of beer and sections of the newspaper he'd left scattered around. She saw what looked to be day old pizza in a greasy pizza box on the coffee table and balled up paper napkins beside it and thought he needed a good home cooked meal.

"Guess I should be recycling these, huh?" he muttered after placing half a dozen empty bottles on the coffee table.

"Everyone should recycle," she said, feeling at a loss.

The hard look he gave her made her cringe but she shut the door behind her determined to see this to the end.

"What're you doing here?" he asked as he retrieved the knives, six in total.

"I wanted to talk . . . about Victor and you . . . and me."

He laughed, surprised by her answer. "What for? There ain't nothin' to talk about. You're with him."

"But . . ."

"But what? But what, 'Roro? You think I can stand being around him knowing he's screwing you every night? You think I like that?"

"But we're not together and we weren't before . . . I mean it was . . . well, hardly at all really, not since you . . . and even before when you weren't there it wasn't like it used to be."

This bit of news gave him pause. He could see she wasn't lying. In fact she looked upset that he didn't believe her. He laid the knives on an end table and walked towards her but she was already making a move to keep him from approaching any closer.

"Logan, don't!" she pled as he took her by her arms not listening.

A gentle probing kiss silenced any further protests she might have made. This wasn't going like she'd hoped, she thought when he picked her up and carried her into the bedroom. Her thoughts were all over the place – she loved being in his arms but the front door wasn't locked, he was so strong, so sure of himself, what if Jean or Victor or even the young girl across the hall barged in on them and what was she doing anyway?

"Sssh," he whispered but she didn't listen.

"No, Logan I can't do this. It's all about sex with us. I don't want to do this."

He sat up obviously angered.

"What? What the hell're you talking about? It's not about the sex 'Roro an' you know it."

"No. I don't. Every time we're together now we're mating like animals."

He snorted. Her description sounded more like her and Victor from everything Victor had told him.

"It isn't about the sex," he repeated.

"Then what is it? What're we doing? You're supposed to be Victor's best friend! This is crazy. It doesn't matter how much I'm attracted to you I can't keep going to bed with his friends. Seriously! Don't look at me like that! What if I went to bed with Cain? I'd be worse than Yoko Ono."

He laughed and laughed, could barely control himself. He could see her in bed with Cain, her slender body dwarfed by his huge weight, her legs sticking out from under his wide girth looking like little toothpicks. He kept laughing ignoring the chagrined look she gave him.

"I don't think it's funny at all," she muttered.

It took a while before Logan got hold of himself. He went into the living room, got a beer and took a swallow then shook his head still seeing the image of her being dwarfed by the man his friends respectfully called the Juggernaut. He grinned, finished the beer and started back into the bedroom. She was up and looking out the window remembering when they'd made their escape from Jean. He came up behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist, his lips leaving soft kisses along the back of her neck as he held her hair to one side.

"You drive me crazy," he murmured and this time she laughed.

"Is that good or bad?" she teased.

"Good."

"Logan . . ."

"Leave him and marry me," he said.

It was too impulsive she knew, too sudden. They barely knew each other and there was so much to straighten out. She thought if she ignored him he'd drop it so she didn't reply but closed her eyes allowing herself to bask in the warmth of his embrace. Of course he had to be kidding but still, the possibility that he wasn't was so sweet, the what if's so appealing and for a moment, in his arms, she let those thoughts carry her away.

"Marry me Ororo," he repeated, turning her to him.

He saw her slight smile full of emotions he couldn't fathom and he pressed his lips to hers tenderly repeating his proposal.

"You know that's preposterous," she said as she opened her eyes and pulled away from him.

"Then why're you here? What do you want? You just want to screw me behind his back?"

That hurt. She stepped away from him wanting to leave knowing she shouldn't have come there.

"You want things to go on the way they were, is that what you want?"

"I don't know what I'm doing, Logan!" she shouted. "I love you! Or I think I do. Oh, I don't know. I don't know anything any more."

Angry with himself, at her, at Victor he struck the wall, his fist submerging in the drywall leaving a ragged hole when he pulled it out. Startled, Ororo hurried out into the living room. He sighed heavily and followed her as he wiped his hand free of the powder from the drywall.

"So, why did you come here?" he asked.

Her mouth opened but nothing came out. He was acting like a crazy man and she didn't know what to say or do.

"You want me to be buddies with Vic again, that it? Come over for tea an' crumpets, pretend everything's honky dory while you play house, that it?"

She shook her head flabbergasted at the suggestion.

"What do you want from me?" He groaned, grabbing her and pressing her body against his.

"Logan," she breathed, feeling herself weakening. "I – I don't want to ruin your friendship – with Victor. I don't want to come between you two especially when he needs friends."

"I don't give a damn about Victor," he whispered in her ear.

"I think you do. Let me go."

"You're free to think whatever you want to," he smirked releasing her. "Why should I give a damn about Vic?"

"You're . . . you're drunk aren't you?"

"Nope. Not by a long shot. Getting' there though."

She sighed. This wasn't what she wanted. It wasn't what she'd come there for.

"Why can't we be friends like before," she implored.

"You an' me? Hah! We were never friends," he spat out viciously.

"I . . ."

"I love you! Don't you know that?" he confessed, his voice ragged with emotion.

She shook her head trying to clear her thoughts. He was too close, too sincere. What were they doing to each other? Was it just sex like what she had with Victor? She was sure Victor would forget her and move on to the next woman in just a matter of months, if it took that long, but Logan barely knew her. He could be free to get back with Jean or find someone else, someone better suited for him, someone who wouldn't destroy his relationship with his oldest friend.

"I wish things were simple but they're not. Logan, you can't stop being friends with Victor because of me, not now. He's scared even though he'll never admit it. You need to be there for him, he needs you."

"You're going to leave aren't you?" Logan said with sudden understanding. "I get it no, you're gonna pull one of your disappearing acts. That's why you're here begging me to be pals with Vic again. Well you know what, lady, take care of your mess!"

That hurt. Lady. He hadn't called her that since that night. She wanted to hit him, knock some sense into his thick head and she wanted to crumple in his arms and never let go but instead she walked to the door.

"'Roro, wait!"

"Just leave me alone," she said.

"You think it was the sex I wanted but it wasn't like that, 'Roro," he said.

What had happened between them made no sense but she knew there had been something there that was more than lust, something more than she'd experienced with Victor no matter how much she'd come to care for Victor. This man had made love to her like no other man had ever done before, holding her, kissing her, giving her pleasure before taking pleasure himself, he'd spoken simple words that had caught at her heart binding her to him forever or so the romantic in her believed. Yes, it had been passionate but it had been so much more, almost sacred and so gentle that it had touched her in ways she couldn't and wouldn't allow herself to think of because if she did she knew she wouldn't be able to walk away.

They had come to a turning point and they both knew it. She could stay, forgetting Victor, forgetting her compassion and decency or she could go, leaving Logan and what could have been behind, forever. Guilt, love, confusion, need, all these things compelled her to act but in the end she knew she could only do what was right regardless of what she wanted.

"I'll see you around," she said and she left him.

And so it was that Logan came to a decision of his own. Ororo had walked out on him, her choice clearly not him. She had told him she loved him and he believed her. Everything about her touch, her look, her kisses told him she did but apparently love wasn't enough for her. It was obvious she was going back to Victor. Out of pity? He found love again with her, had never thought to experience it again and she'd taken that from him.

He drank, moped, and generally thought dark thoughts. Yukio, called from Japan a few times but he was so surly and angry she finally gave him a few choice words which boiled down to one basic point – If you love her go after her and stop acting like a wimp! Taking her advice to heart he'd driven out to see her but each time he went he'd just drive past her townhouse going over in his mind what he'd say to her and in the end he'd find himself back home having chickened out. He considered calling Yukio and asking for Ororo's phone number because maybe talking to her over the phone would be easier but again he chickened out. A week passed this way then after a particular hard weekend just when he'd made up his mind to actually get out of the car and knock on Ororo's door after he got off from work Victor showed up at the job site bright and early ready to work.

It was as if nothing had happened between them. He came in mouthing off about how he had the best woman in the world and how neither of them was mad with Logan. He went on about having to give up his beloved Spyder, his insurance rate increased so much that he couldn't have continued making the payments anyway because the medication he had to take cost him a good fortune and then he'd asked how Logan was holding up, had he seen Jean, did he have a new girl yet leaving Logan to wonder what was wrong with Victor – a new girlfriend in just a few week's time? It felt like Victor was grasping at straws, hoping Logan would get over Ororo and they could all go back to hanging out again. It didn't any kind of logical sense to him but much like Ororo guilt had eaten away at Logan and so he let Victor come back to work as if nothing had changed. It did help soothe his conscious after all, Vic needed the money and who else was going to hire him, an ex felon, paying him more than minimum? He had to pay for medicine or otherwise he'd be dead sooner than necessary or so Victor informed him, which Logan seriously didn't mind but neither did he want Vic to go out that way and though he wouldn't admit it, in the back of his mind he wasn't entirely against things going back to the way they'd been with the three of them.

Basically, as long as Victor left him alone Logan saw no reason not to keep him on the payroll. But of course things didn't go as planned. Everyday without fail Victor would go on and on about Ororo. Before work started, during breaks, while they ate lunch and after work it was Ro this, my baby that, Ororo, Ororo, Ororo like a knife cutting into him twisting and turning to make sure the pain didn't end. Valid punishment Logan felt he deserved because when it was all said and done he'd screwed Vic over worse than Vic had ever screwed him. It was obvious Victor loved Ororo the way he'd been groveling and carrying on while Logan hadn't care too much at all about Victor sleeping with Jean, he'd just been glad of an excuse to get rid of her for good. He didn't blame her though she'd made him look like a sucker sleeping around behind his back with her old boyfriend nevertheless he wished her the best. Since he saw Victor was surviving well enough with HIV except for having to go to the john a lot he figured Jean would be all right too.

So life went on for the trio, each of them dealing with their guilt in their different ways. Victor might drop into Harry's and join Logan, who practically lived there now, but mostly they went their separate ways. A few months passed and Victor caught a summer cold that the doctor's were worried might turn into pneumonia. When he didn't show up for work Logan was actually relieved but a week went by and his guilt mixed with an eagerness that he couldn't keep down – he wanted to see Ororo. Just to look at her, just to see that she was okay, that she was happy. He expected it to hurt because he still loved her but he didn't care. It was the damnedest thing but when he'd been with her those few times something had happened to him, something he'd never imagined in all his life, something that had changed the way he thought about life and women in general.

When Victor joked around about how wild and hot Ororo was all the time he'd sometimes throw in a casual – "But you know all that don't you?" only Logan didn't know. Their short time together hadn't been about wild sex. He loved sex and liked it wild enough but when he'd been with Ororo it wasn't about that. He'd always imagined what it would be like to be with her and it had turned out to be much more. It had been the first time he'd actually made love to a woman. When he thought about it he realized he'd loved Mariko but he'd never made love to her. Back then he'd been so young, didn't know as much either. He thought if he could be with Mariko for one night now he'd make love to her but it wouldn't, couldn't be anything like how he'd made love to Ororo. There had been some kind of connection between them, some kind of mutual need full of something he couldn't name or understand.

As much as he thought about what had happened in bed with her all he knew was that their sex hadn't been wild and hot but fulfilling. It touched something within him that he still craved, something that he didn't think Victor would ever understand or experience with Ororo even if they screwed each other for the rest of their lives. Maybe that was why he was able to tolerate Victor, knowing that even though she'd gone back to him they didn't have what he and Ororo had shared no matter how brief their time together had been. And maybe that was how he worked up the courage to check up on him Victor after speaking to him over the phone.

"What're you doin' here?" Victor asked when he opened the door surprised to find Logan standing on his doorstep.

"You never said why you didn't come to work for a week," Logan said.

Looking past Victor's large frame covered in an old ratty robe, Logan saw a bunch of model car's, some he was clearly working on, others finished, all laying on the giant wooden spool along with the boxes they'd come in and some sprawled over the very cluttered floor. There were dirty clothes strewn about haphazardly, old pizza boxes piled high on a Lazy Boy and beer bottles left where they'd been tossed, some in broken pieces. There was even a used condom on the floor by the unmade bed, the pillowcases looked filthy – nothing whatsoever that indicated that Ororo had ever lived there or was staying with him even on the rare occasion, except for the condom possibly and he doubted she'd put up with something like that.

"Oh yeah? Don't sweat it, I'll be in Monday," Victor said as he stepped out forcing Logan to back away.

Logan nodded, expecting to be invited in but Victor went so far as to shut the door so they were standing on the balcony walkway.

"How's Ororo?" Logan asked as he sometimes did when his curiosity about her got out of hand.

"She's gone, went out of town."

"Thought you said she was cooking for you tonight."

"Yeah, well you ain't invited so beat it."

Logan looked at Victor for half a minute as his mind wrapped itself around what he'd seen. From what he knew about Ororo he couldn't see her putting up with Vic's disgusting living habits. There were no curtains, no covering for the wooden spool, nothing nice anywhere no matter how simple it might have been. And even though she'd thrown all that stuff away he'd figured she'd start over since she was going back to Victor, remake the place the way she wanted but this – this wasn't Ororo's style not even remotely. Something wasn't right.

"I thought you said she . . ."

"She didn't say nothin' all right!"

"Where'd she go again, Vic?"

"I killed her all right? Chopped her body into a bunch of little pieces an' stuffed 'em in my freezer so what you gonna do now, runt? Wanna piece?" Victor said with a guffaw.

The old Victor was showing now. Logan had never believed the religion would stick although Victor had been as nice as any born again hypocrite he supposed. He could only take his word for it but Vic claimed every Sunday he and Ororo went to church without fail, that he was a changed man.

"Where is she, Vic?" Logan asked again.

"What's it matter to you after all this time, bro?"

He hesitated. What did it matter to him? She'd never called him, never invited him to dinner, and had gone back to the idiot standing in front of him. She'd pretty much wiped her hands of him.

"You might not understand this, Vic but I'm always gonna love her," Logan said.

The frank look on Logan's face made Victor close his mouth. They stood there for a moment, Victor sizing his boss up.

"She's in Japan," he confessed.

"Japan?"

"She got a hair up her ass an' quit her job."

"When?"

Victor laughed again. "The bitch bailed on me, the only way I found out was from Yukio."

"Yukio?"

"Yeah, she's stayin' with her."

"In Japan?"

"What're you a freakin' parrot?"

"When is she coming back?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"It ain't like I can't call Yukio myself, Vic."

"For what? You think Ro's still got the hot's for you? If she did then why'd she leave your ass? Huh? She don't want nothin' to do with you – don't want either of us." Victor rolled his eyes, irritated with Logan and himself.

"You aren't together any more?"

"No! No were not!" Vic yelled. "You happy now?"

"Man, I mean why didn't you say something?"

"For what? So you could go chase after her?"

"I just want to know if she's okay – have you heard from her?"

"Hell no but I can tell you Ro's fine, in fact the bitch sent me one of those Dear John letters, all sweet an' carin' like tryin' to make me feel like it wasn't my fault like it was her's – right. You want to know somethin' funny?" – He didn't wait for a reply – "I loved her. Man, I woulda done anything for her."

"You mean all this time . . . ?"

"Yeah, we never got back together. I was just messin' with you. You gotta admit it's kind of funny."

While Logan digested this alarming news Victor laughed again this time a sad defeated laugh.

"So she's livin' in Japan with Yukio," Logan murmured.

Victor shrugged his big shoulders. "You goin' after her?"

Logan left Victor to answer that himself. He was down the stairs and in his car before Victor could say another word but Victor knew there wasn't anything else to say. He'd thought he'd feel a lot worse if Logan knew the truth. He knew, as a Christian, and he believed he was, that he was supposed to feel good when he did the right thing but doing the right thing all the time wasn't always easy which is why he'd lied to Logan, that and pride. He didn't hate Logan but he hated the thought of Logan being with Ororo whom he had genuinely loved. There wasn't anything good about how he felt instead he felt like his conscious had been wiped clean. He felt lighter, no he felt cleaner, like he was a better person but he figured it would take a long time before he could get used to that, thought he'd better go over to Kurt's talk things over with him, maybe give Mystie a call too. Somehow that didn't sound as bad as he'd thought it would.


	29. Friday Night's

**Dreaming of a Day – by Darlin**

**Chapter Twenty-nine – Friday Nights **

**A/N – **And I'm finally finished! Possible epilogue though. I'm really happy with this chapter which I think is a story in itself and could be read without reading any of the other chapters. Hope it hasn't been too much of a confusing bore.

**xox **

Another dreary day was ahead or so Ororo anticipated. Life had taken on a gray cast as if to match her mood much as the gray skies matched the gloom she felt. Worse, she felt desolated and lost ever since deserting Victor's devastating betrayal.

It was Friday night. She hated Friday nights. If she could skip Fridays and still have paydays she'd give up a kidney or something else worthwhile. It meant that much to her to avoid the dreaded event. She didn't have much now. She'd given up her job and had moved to New York. She had her husband, a good man but on Friday's he was nothing like the good man she'd thought he was. She loved him and hated him. Fridays were not good for either of them.

The neighborhood children saw him coming, loping along, shoulders down, swaying, singing under his breath. They knew. He staggered past them ignoring them, a plastic grocery bag clutched in his right hand. Paycheck half gone, he knew what she would say. He hated coming home. He'd given everything up for her and he worked hard for his money and what did she do? Nothing except have babies. Not yet but soon. He loved her, loved the unborn child inside her, but he hated the fight he knew was coming, that came every Friday night like clockwork.

Neither was aware that children would gather under their window Friday nights and listen to the altercation that was sure to come. Now several boys, snickering and raising fingers to their lips to keep the others silent, took their post.

"Hey darlin'."

"Logan."

"So what you do all day?"

"I . . . Logan, you're drunk aren't you?"

"Nope. Not by a long shot." His usual reply of late.

"How much is left?" She dreaded the answer.

"What? Huh? What're ya talkin' about, darlin'?"

"Logan, don't do this. We're struggling hard enough as it is without you wasting half your paycheck on beer."

"What, I can't have a little fun once a week? I work hard all flamin' week! I deserve _some_ down time. I've got to put up with your nagging day in day out, you don't see me hasslin' you. I'm not on your case about how I gave up everything for you or what you're doing here all day when you could be working, helping me, bringing in your own damn money so you wouldn't have to harp on me all the damn time comparin' me to Vic now am I?"

His voice was slurred, louder than necessary and the children giggled outside but Ororo, tired from vomiting all morning and cleaning the house and shopping and walking all day looking for a job was simply too tired to fight this night.

"Where're you going? We ain't finished!"

"I can't do this anymore, Logan. I – I need to get out, take a walk, I have to go."

He grabbed her, spun her around. His eyes were glassy; her face was full of surprise. Logan might get drunk every Friday but he never put his hands on her like this.

"You goin' anywhere in particular?"

"I'm – I'm just going out, for a walk."

"You sure that's all?"

"What else would I do?"

"Maybe try callin' Vic."

"What?"

They stood toe to toe though not eye to eye. He still had her by her arms.

"I saw that letter," he said, voice harsh and despite the alcohol full of pain.

"What . . .?" she faltered, knew she couldn't lie.

"You've been writin' him – why? You want to be with him?"

"No! Of course not!"

"So why're you writin' him? That part of our lives was supposed to be finished, we both agreed to forget it!"

"It is. I – I . . . you don't know how guilty I still feel, Logan leaving him like I did. I had to know if he was okay."

"What? Hell! I gave him my company for cryin' out loud, 'Ro! He ain't hurtin' for money or tryin' to support a wife an' kid. He's probably spendin' all that money that should be mine on booze an' whores an' you're feeling sorry for the asshole?"

She pressed her lips together, tried to reign in her anger determined not to fight tonight.

"I don't want to keep fighting like this. I don't want to bring a child into the world like this. I don't want to be struggling like we are. I – I . . ."

"You what? You ain't happy with me anymore?"

"I didn't say that."

"But you meant it."

"Are you happy with _me_?"

"I love you, you know that."

"Then why can't you act like it?"

He thrust her from him.

"I work two jobs for you! I'm the one out there puttin' up with assholes for you an' the kid. What're you doin' to help?"

Children scrambled in every direction when they heard the screen door squeak on its hinges. She had nothing with her, no purse, no keys, nothing but worn sorrow in her heart as she stepped outside.

"Don't you walk out on me!" Logan shouted as he followed her.

They faced each other.

"I'm getting an abortion."

"What?"

"You don't want a child. You don't want me, the responsibility. I don't want to be a burden."

"Then get a flamin' job why don't you!"

"I'm trying! I am! I'm really trying but you don't know how hard it is. I don't have a lot of skills, my degree in liberal arts is worthless, the way I talk doesn't help any, they think my accent's too thick for phone work or they think I look too weird though they don't say it – I can see the way they look at me. I don't blame them, I wish I'd never come to America."

"Darlin' . . ."

"Don't 'darling' me. I'm trying, why aren't you?"

"I didn't spend all the money okay?"

"Then why didn't you just say that?"

"You wouldn't have believed me."

"So where's the money?"

"I got it right here," he said with a grin, stepping back into the house.

Ororo looked around at the neighbors watching them in the dimming light as dusk fell. She felt foolish, on display, wrong for once having misjudged the man she loved and should have given the benefit of the doubt to.

Inside he pulled her to him, kissed her fiercely. He reeked or beer. She almost gagged, had to pull away from him. Morning sickness for her came day and night.

"All I want is to have some fun come payday why can't we do that?"

"Where's the money, Logan?"

"I said I got it!"

"Where is it? Show me."

"Here take it, it's all yours!" he shouted as he dug into his back pocket finding his billfold which he threw at her. "You happy now?"

The wallet bounced off a chair beside her, fell to the floor and lightning quick she was on her knees grasping the billfold searching the pockets. He didn't bother to watch her count the money. He already knew she wouldn't be happy. Instead he picked up the plastic grocery bag from where he'd dropped it in his rush to keep her from leaving then went into the kitchen. She heard him stashing his beer in the refrigerator and knew with every clinking of glass against the stainless steel shelf that there wouldn't be enough money. Counting wasn't even necessary. Rent would be late again, eviction looming as always.

And suddenly she dropped the wallet. She saw herself on her knees rifling desperately through her husband's wallet. What was she doing? What had happened to them? They had been so happy. Only months ago he'd found her, gone all the way to Japan for her. Just what she'd wanted no matter how much she'd tried to deny it. She'd never felt more loved and despite the guilt she felt over Victor and being with his best friend she'd said yes when Logan had asked her to marry him yet again. But that had been before she'd told him she was pregnant. Everything had changed after that. Now each Friday was punctuated with dread, with hate, with accusations and all their deep fears and insecurities were on display for all their neighbors to enjoy. It took twice the normal amount of alcohol to get Logan drunk which meant twice as much money was spent – wasted. She hated this life. She hated herself. She hated Logan for making her become this shrew of a housewife.

There were no violent accusations tossed, no shrill voice full of anger assaulting him when he fully expected it. The silence stunned him. He opened a bottle of beer, tossed the screw top into the trash and stood silently in the middle of the kitchen fighting back panic. He drank the beer slowly, waiting, listening.

Minutes later he ventured back into the room. There was no sign of her. Remorse overtook him. He saw his wallet laying on the floor, splayed open, the bills still inside. He bent to retrieve it, saw the meager amount and suddenly felt worse than guilty. It was the guilt that ate away at him, that made him drink. Guilt about Victor, guilt about living off of her savings until he found a job and guilt because he couldn't support her like she was used to – she deserved so much more than he could ever give her.

He tried, really tried but it was never enough. Now that she was pregnant she wanted to buy a house instead of renting one half of a duplex in a bad neighborhood where the neighbors spied on their every move. She wanted their child to have opportunities like she'd had, that he hadn't, that he knew he could never provide. He'd taken on a second job working nights; never saw her for more than a few minutes most weekdays. Waking up tired, moving like a zombie, going from one job to the other while squeezing in a short nap trying to keep ahead.

The excessive drinking had started as a way to relieve stress. Now it was more than that, it was revenge of sorts, the only little way he could get back at her. He worked hard, made decent money with the two jobs but he spent it the way he wanted. It was is way of showing her he was the one in charge, the one calling the shots, that he could do whatever he wanted, he was the boss, that they'd live the way he wanted, the way he dictated not the way she thought they should. His kid wouldn't lack for anything but the kid wasn't even here yet. All he needed was more time but she didn't see that, she wanted everything now without realizing how hard it was for him. Revenge, ego, guilt, none of it felt good but he couldn't help himself.

As the evening progressed he drank more and more eventually falling into a stupor on the living room couch. He slept restlessly, his wife forgotten save for a nightmare he wouldn't remember when he woke. Ororo wished she could forget him, forget everything. Marriage was supposed to be bliss and failing that at least a partnership but it had turned out to be rocky, uneven, a nightmarish prison exactly as she deserved – because of what she'd done. She should never have allowed Yukio to tell Victor where she was and she knew it but secretly she'd hoped Logan would find her. Well, he had and now their life was hell.

And yet she'd known she didn't have the strength to stay with Victor especially since she'd come to accept that she was in love with his best friend. She wasn't a saint like Kurt went on about; she wasn't even a very good person. She'd known she couldn't stay with a man who had gone behind her back and had unprotected sex almost giving her AID's. She was sorry he was HIV positive and she wished she could have stayed to help him adjust but ultimately she wasn't strong enough. And that was the problem of late, she'd come to find she wasn't strong enough to handle the guilt from all the should have's and shouldn't have's. Instead, she'd taken the easier path - running, but it had turned out to be the most painful. She didn't know how long the ache inside her heart would last, part anger, part guilt and so much despair. Would it be forever or would it eventually grow less and less, to become so seldom she would barely notice it? And if that happened would things get better for her and Logan?

The bar called Lila's and just two blocks down the street from Ororo's and Logan's duplex, was as crowded as it had been during lunchtime when she had applied for the waitress job. The bartender, a huge man with small round glasses with red bottle cap lenses and a single lock of white hair curling from his bald pate to his forehead, grinned recognizing her easily. She was unforgettable with her long white hair, crystal clear blue eyes and soft brown skin and that accent, it sent shivers down his spine just listening to her spout off her resume.

"Hey! You ready to work?" he asked.

"You mean I'm hired?"

"Talked it over with my partner, she thinks you'll do fine what being an ex stewardess an' all."

"But I have no experience than that really."

"Don't workin' give you the experience?" he said with a wink.

"Thank you, Mr. Carosella," she said in gratitude.

He handed her an apron, gave her directions and with an encouraging wink sent her over to a table full of men screaming over a baseball game on television, some raising their empty beer bottles to get her attention.

How she survived the night she didn't know. Luckily she was wearing sneakers and jeans, a simple t-shirt, a little snug as she was in her fourth month but nothing impractical for the job. Still, even with comfortable sneakers her feet were killing her and she was dead tired when four in the morning came around. The bar tender, Guido, offered to take her home and she accepted. He talked about his family, his wife, how she was always on his case but he loved her and their three children, how smart the littlest one was, how good his oldest and middle sons were in sports – football – he was hoping they'd get scholarships. He grinned as he watched her walk up the sidewalk to the duplex. She'd do all right, she was beautiful and built. Whoever she was going home to was a lucky man, he thought as he drove off.

"Where've you been?" Logan demanded, awake as soon as she opened the door and let herself in. He hadn't locked it.

"I got a job."

"A job? This early in the freakin' morning? Do you know what time it is?"

"I didn't think you'd be awake."

"What kind of job?"

"I got a job as a waitress."

"Where? I don't know any restaurants that stay open that late around here."

"It's a bar."

"A bar? You got a job working in a bar?"

"Yes. You told me to get a job so I did. Here!"

Money flew towards him and landed on the floor all around him. He stared at her, mouth wide open.

"They tip well," Ororo said with a smirk.

"What . . . ? No wife of mine's gonna work in a bar!" Logan stuttered, furious at the thought of men tipping his beautiful wife like a two bit stripper.

"Then maybe I shouldn't be your wife."

"What?" he nearly choked on his own spit he was so angry. He coughed. "What did you just say, 'Roro?"

"I just want us to get along! Can't we be like we used to be?"

He looked away then glanced at the floor, at the money. It was a lot. How much, he wondered? And what had she done to get so much? He tried to force images of her half naked giving lap dances for the customers from his mind. What was she thinking? He swallowed hard. He hadn't meant for this to happen.

"I don't want you working at a bar. What about the baby? There's smoking there and . . . drunks."

"Nothing I don't get at home."

This he couldn't deny though he had started smoking his cigars in the bathroom since news about her pregnancy.

"I'm tired of living from paycheck to paycheck, of having eviction notices, not knowing if you're going to drink every last penny. I can't live like this anymore. I won't."

"Okay! Fine! I'll stop drinking so much okay?"

"That would just be one more thing you'd have to hold against me."

"Why would you say that?"

"I'm tired. I just want to go to sleep."

She moved past him and he didn't try to stop her. He heard her in the shower, heard the squeak of the bed when she laid down. He went to the kitchen, got a beer, opened it, tossed the cap onto a counter, lifted the bottle to his lips and then stopped. He heard the bed creak. He scratched at the stubble on his chin and looked at the bottle of beer then threw it into the trash.

"I'm tired, Logan," she whispered when he climbed into bed with her and wrapped his arms around her.

"I know," he said.

They laid in relative silence with only the birds chirping outside and the occasional car driving past.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too."

"I don't want you to get an abortion."

"I'm not; I don't know why I said that. I would never . . . I do want the baby, Logan it's just that I'm so tired of everything."

"Didn't the doctor tell you you'd be tired for a while?"

"Hmm," she yawned. He'd missed the point all together but she didn't have the energy to care.

"Ro?"

"Um hmm."

"I don't want you to work, not while you're pregnant."

"I don't want to talk about it right now."

"I'm gonna take care of you, you and the baby. I'm gonna stop drinking, you'll see."

"You are, really?"

She turned around to look into his face. He looked sincere.

"Sure. I don't know why I've been drinking so much anyway."

"To get back at me," she said.

He frowned. "I'm finished."

"Really?"

"Yeah, darlin'."

"Oh, Logan that would be so wonderful!"

"But you gotta quit your job."

"What?"

"I told you I'll take care of you but 'Roro you gotta let me do it my way an' stop going on about what your friends an' parents make and how they're living. I mean didn't they start out with nothing? You told me your father was a step down for your mother kinda like you an' me."

"Is that what you think, that you're not good enough for me? Oh, Logan that's ridiculous! You're the best man I've ever met and probably ever will meet."

"You don't act that way you know."

"I guess. Maybe now but when I found out I was pregnant I just got so scared. I don't want to raise a child in this neighborhood. It's too close, everyone knows each other's business and there's no privacy. We even have to be quiet when we make love."

"I know, I know but it won't be forever. If you can just have some faith in me I'll get us outta here."

"I do have faith I just . . . I just want it to happen now."

"You never were the patient type. You always want to rush into everything even when you shouldn't like getting married, like going off to work in the middle of the night."

"It wasn't the middle of the night and I thought you wanted to get married just as much as I did, you asked me three times."

"Yeah I did."

"Do you regret it?"

"No. Do you?"

"No. Not usually, only when you drink."

"Forget that will you? I already told you I won't anymore."

"Promise me please."

"I promise."

"I love you."

"Love you too, darlin'."

Snuggled together they kissed, soft, slowly but she was exhausted and he let her sleep. That weekend was good for a change, Friday having passed with new resolutions. They both remembered why they were together, why they loved each other and they forgave each others trespasses.

But life has a way of throwing curve balls. Logan worked both jobs, first and third shift and unbeknownst to him Ororo continued working at the bar when he left, Guido and Lila, the owner, allowing her to work flexible hours. It was tiring work but the money was good. The men might make advances; sometimes their hands getting too friendly, but they tipped well. She even began to like her job especially her boss who always had a new story about one of his children. He'd drive her home if they worked the same shift which she found was often.

He was drunk, she hadn't expected that. She'd worked there for a month now and had never seen Guido imbibing, hadn't thought it was allowed on the job but then again Lila was seldom there. His wife wanted a divorce he said, almost crying from pain or anger which she couldn't decide. When the truck hit them it no longer mattered.

"What were you doing with that guy?"

Those were the first words she heard when she woke up. She blinked several times, looked around for the familiar face that matched the familiar angry voice. Logan stood to her right looking down at her anxiously. She winced under the bright artificial light in the room and from the pain she felt shooting through her neck.

"Who was he?"

"W-who?"

"The guy you were with? The guy driving the car? Were you seeing him?"

"What? Of course not, Logan! He's, he's my boss."

"Your boss?"

"I didn't quit. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, we need the money, I just wanted to save as much as possible so we could move."

"Damn it, Ororo!"

"Is he okay?"

"Your boss? He's dead."

"No. I just saw him, he was talking about his wife, how she didn't want him anymore but he was going to work things out," she cried.

"Well, she won't have to worry about that now."

She looked at her husband.

"Damn it, Ro you could've been killed – could've loss the baby! I thought we had a deal! You weren't working I wasn't drinking!"

"We did, I said I'm sorry. I am, I just wanted to help is that a crime? Everything I do is a crime to you isn't it?"

He shook his head, ran a hand through his hair.

"I thought . . ." he couldn't finish, words failing him.

He'd thought he'd lost her when he'd gotten the call, thought his life was over. And now he'd discovered she was leading some secret life he didn't know about! If she'd just stayed home where she belonged she wouldn't have been in the accident, wouldn't have been at risk.

"He's really dead?"

Logan turned and walked out the room. He got drunk that night, the same bar Ororo worked in though he didn't know this. He walked home, threw a few glass items around and finally passed out on the sofa, his anger spent. The next day, hung over, he went to pick her up. He didn't let the nurse steer the wheelchair but took control himself.

They drove home in silence. He was hurt that she'd lied to him. The first lie she'd ever told him but now he wondered, had there been more lies and he had just never caught her in them? Was she still thinking about Victor?

All she wanted to do was sleep when she got home. She slept the rest of the night and he watched over her, hurt and angry, feeling helpless remembering other nights when she was hurting and he'd watched over her, him and Vic.

Hours later she woke with a start. Something was wrong. She was cramping. Blood had pooled beneath her. Logan, frantic, drove her in record speed back to the hospital. He paced all night terrified for her. He hadn't forgotten their child but if anything happened to her he'd never forgive himself. He should've insisted she stay in the hospital another day, _they_ should've insisted! What had the doctor been thinking? Why didn't they catch this before she was released?

The news was not good. She cried, refused to see her husband. The baby was gone. And with the little boy's death she felt she'd died. Her life was ruined. All she could see before her were empty days full of frightening overwhelming Fridays, the cycle never ending, living with guilt and in poverty. She wished she'd died instead. She cried a long time mourning the child she'd wanted and yet hadn't wanted. She hated herself for not wanting it but the thought of brining a child into their miserable little world had been cruel to her. Life had been comfortable when she'd worked even though it had been hectic. They'd gone through all their savings living in Japan and then relocating to New York. She'd thought she'd be able to fly again but he'd been so against it she'd given in. He'd wanted to take care of her and she'd let him. Now all she wanted to do was to go back home to Africa, to her mother, her parents only they'd predicted she'd come back, that he couldn't provide for her, that she'd regret marrying the Canadian construction worker instead of T'Challa, the prince whom her mother thought was perfect simply because he was a prince. Maybe they had been right about Logan but she couldn't bear for them to know any more than she could stand it if her friends knew what a miserable life she'd made for herself.

When she woke he was wrapped around her tight as if she'd been swaddled in his arms in that little hospital bed and all her grief and anger and hate poured out of her. She touched his hairy forearm, rubbed gently. She breathed in his strong masculine odor. No touch of alcohol only sweat and cologne, her favorite. She wondered how one minute she could hate him and the next she only felt as if everything was right as held onto her.

"Ro, you awake?"

"Um hmm."

"You okay?"

"Yes. Yes, I am."

They heard the woman next to her moving as sheets rustled and murmuring in her sleep. A curtain separated them but Ororo felt as if she were wrapped in a cocoon alone with the man she loved and the world outside was forgotten.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"For what? I'm the one who should be apologizing. If I hadn't been acting' nuts you wouldn't've been out working like you were. I told you I'd take care of you an' I didn't. But that's gonna change. We're moving next month. I called your parents, they're gonna give me a loan. Don't say it, Ro I know what you're thinkin'. Yeah, they think I'm a screw up but they're gonna let me pay them back."

"But Logan, how? We don't have anything left after all the bills are paid and now we have hospital bills!"

"We can pay the deductible on installments, I already talked to them. Besides, I spend a fortune every Friday an' I know it, we both know it, I'll pay them back with the money I'd be wastin' on booze but you gotta promise me something first."

"I . . . what?"

"You can't go back to work not for a while, maybe never. I don't want you in a bar with all those drunks checking you out any more than I want you being a flight attendant."

"Is that what you do when you're drinking, check out the waitresses?" she teased.

"I would if they all looked like you."

Somehow she found laughter inside her. It surprised her but she laughed until she broke down and cried.

"It's gonna be all right, darlin'. Everything's gonna be all right."

"But . . . but I lost the baby!"

"We'll have more, when we're better off an' ready to take care of him the way he deserves."

He let her cry. He was just glad she was alive. They'd have more babies. They'd live to see them grown with children of their own.

"I want to go home," she said after her tears had subsided.

"We gotta wait for them to release you. They said the doctor'll be 'round about seven in the morning."

"I hate hospitals."

**xox**

Losing the baby was hard on her. Logan wasn't heartbroken but he'd been looking forward to having a son. He'd made plans too though he'd never told her. Finding out it was actually a boy had been hard but he put those thoughts aside and concentrated on making Ororo forget. It wasn't easy. She wept too much he thought. He brought home his paycheck, watched her count out each dollar and put it aside to be deposited in the bank the next morning. He didn't know how to take the sadness away. Each day she seemed as if she was going to be all right but when he'd come home he'd find that she wasn't, that no dinner had been made, or it had been made and thrown out or the house was a wreck, or worse, that she was a wreck, her hair not combed, his t-shirts that she shuffled around in, dirty and not changed since the night before.

One day he came home early, something was nagging at him, he felt as if he'd forgotten something or that something was wrong. He found Ororo in the bathroom sitting on the commode sobbing into her hands. Wordlessly he gathered her into his arms, carried her to their bed and held her.

"I wish I was dead," she sobbed.

"Don't . . ."

He didn't know what to say.

"I just want to die," she cried.

"Don't, darlin' what would I do without you?"

"Be happy."

He sat up, grabbed her so that she too was sitting now and he shook her, shook her hard.

"Don't say that! You think I'd be happy if you were dead? You're all I've got don't you know that?"

"Oh, Logan you were right I shouldn't have been working. I told you I wouldn't and I did and I lost our baby!"

"We all do things we shouldn't do, 'Roro look at me! Your parents think I'm a loser, so do your friends an' so did you every Friday night but I changed didn't I? "

"I want my baby back; I want to change everything I did. I want to fix what I messed up. I want Guido to be alive an' Victor to be all right! I want my baby back!"

"We can fix it, we can have another baby."

"I don't want another one."

"Then we won't have one for a while."

She sniffed and wept and wiped at her eyes and nose with her dirty shirt and Logan shook his head letting her go.

"Where's the strong woman I used to know? Where'd she go, 'Roro?"

"She never existed."

He laid her head against his chest. They didn't know the little neighborhood children were listening under the window. Friday night come early after several weeks of out of the ordinary quiet Fridays, eager for the usual row to take place, anticipating the fury of their words.

"Do you love me?" he asked very quietly.

He thought he felt her head move in the affirmative, took her by her arms and made her look at him.

"Do you love me?"

She nodded.

"Tell me."

"I love you."

"Can't that be enough then? Can't we forget everything bad that's happened and start over?"

She looked at him. He was a reflection of herself, dark circles under his eyes, grief filled, lost but seeking – seeking for something like her but what?

"I . . . don't know, Logan."

He didn't understand why she didn't know. Hadn't he done everything she'd wanted? Stopped the drinking, stopped wasting money, even borrowed money from her parents to move them into a nicer place in a better neighborhood next month! He released her, got up and went back to work.

Friday's, they both used to dread them. The next Friday he came home drunk. She seemed not to notice. The house was a mess as was she. She had a beer in hand as she watched mindless soap operas when he stumbled in early. The little ones raced to eavesdrop at the window. A dish fell, no – was thrown.

"What do you do all day just eat and watch your stupid soaps? Look at this place it's a freakin' pig sty!"

"You want it clean, clean it yourself."

More dishes breaking as he looked for a clean plate. Angry that he couldn't find one he went back into the living room, grabbed the beer from her and threw it against the wall. She jumped up lashing out but he stepped back. They both seemed to stagger as they looked back at each other in anger.

She slapped him with all her strength. Face stinging, he caught her by the waist and tossed her over his shoulder, took her to the bathroom and stood her in the tub. She howled as cold water streamed over her but he pressed her firmly against the shower wall as he worked the hot water.

"I hate you!" she screamed.

He paid no attention to her angry words but grabbed her, stepped into the shower with her and held her fast just a moment and then he kissed her, his mouth pressing hard against hers as he pulled her close. He tore at her t-shirt and she tore at his clothes. The water beat down upon them as they sought each other, their anger turned to desire and they made love. When it was over she cried. She cried as if her very life depended upon this releasing of all her anguish. He soaped her body and kissed her not knowing what to do for her, mumbling what he hoped were soothing words of comfort. She was like a rag doll in his arms moving as he directed, limp and unresponsive. He washed her hair for her and she seemed to quiet as his fingers worked against her scalp. Finally he got out, picked her up and carried her into their bedroom. He moved away to get a towel to dry them off but she clung to him so he folded them gently down onto the bed. He lit a cigar and let her cry, his chest damp from the shower as well as her tears. He didn't need apologies, he didn't need anything but her but the Ororo that she used to be – strong, goal oriented, determined, the woman he'd married.

"I want a divorce," she said when she lifted her head, her tears now just stains on her face.

"No you don't," he replied.

"You don't know what I want."

"What would you do without me an' all this drama?"

"Be happy?"

"You don't know how to be happy anymore," he told her.

"I'm happy when you hold me."

"You want me to stay home everyday and hold you then I will. You want that?"

"Would you really?"

"Really."

"All day?"

"Yeah, after we cleaned the house."

She laughed. He smiled. It was the first time since the accident that she'd laughed and genuinely felt mirth. The sound of her delight made him feel they would be all right. Somehow. He got a comb and began to comb her hair so gently that it felt as if there were no tangles. She basked in the attention. She felt guilty; he was giving her everything just like she wanted and still she felt something was missing. But what? She couldn't be the wife he wanted until she knew. She vowed to herself that she would change, she would be better, treat him with more respect, more consideration even if she never found out what was missing.

Another week of peace and Friday came again but this time the children fled as a U-Haul truck pulled up, Logan at the wheel, whistling merrily. There would be no more fights for their voyeurism enjoyment.

After packing he took both her hands and looked into her eyes. She was just as beautiful as the first day he'd seen her when he'd fallen irrevocably in love with her, eating pizza and brownies and playing strip poker. He'd been so envious of his friend then though he'd tried to tell himself otherwise. He knew what he had to do now.

"I called Vic," he said.

"You did? Why?"

"I know how you feel, both of us kind of left him in the lurch, even if I did give him my company. He said he's been doin' fine, wanted to know why you didn't write him back."

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him the truth."

"And what was that?"

"Nothin' about you, just how I didn't like it, you writin' him, but if you want to stay in touch you can. I guess I've gotta stop tellin' you what you can an' can't do. We can't make this work if we can't be like we used to be, you know, like equals, like partners in this for the long haul no matter what, you know what I mean, darlin'?"

She nodded. "He's all right then?"

"Yeah."

"Taking his medicine?"

"Yup." He grinned. She was always so motherly, one of the many reasons he'd fallen for her.

"And you don't mind if I write him? It would just be to say hi, make sure he's okay."

"I know. I got no reason to be jealous now do I?"

She grinned. "No, you don't, not if you do that thing I like so much," she teased.

"Here? Now? On the floor? 'Cause all the furniture's in the truck or out on the curb."

She nodded her head adamantly and he laughed and did what she asked.

After satisfying his wife in a way only he knew how they left without looking back. He drove with one arm around her.

"You gonna be all right, darlin'?"

She nodded contentedly.

They drove in silence, comfortable, happy for once. Twenty minutes later on the other side of town he pulled up in front of a small white house with a white picket fence around the tiny lawn that was host to several tall Oak trees, their branches spread wide to the bright sky as if in greeting. He grinned at her, proud of what he was able to provide for her, not minding the loan from her parents but she didn't see the house she only saw him. She saw the man she knew he always was whom she'd lost momentarily in her own guilt caused despair. She saw the man he would always be, caring and giving, determined to provide for her and their family, unselfish and full of love, so much so that she could wound him to the core with thoughtless words and actions. She knew she might say unkind things again but she vowed she'd do her best to never disregard who he was as a man, a one hundred percent man, who loved her very much.

"What do ya think?" he asked.

"That I don't deserve you."

He chuckled.

"I love you, Logan. I'm sorry for . . ."

A hand covered her mouth and he shook his head.

"Got nothin' to be sorry for."

"We're really going to be okay aren't we?"

His eyes answered her, they were full of love. He got out, went around the U-Haul, opened the door for her and gathered her into his arms. He held her as if she were the most precious of cargo and carried her over the threshold into their new house, their new life where Friday nights would be just like any other night full of trials and tribulations but full of love as well.


	30. Epilogue : Victor's Legacy

**Dreaming of Day by – Darlin**

**Epilogue – Victor's Legacy**

**A/N –** Just a final chapter to finish the mess I started.

**xox **

_Dear Victor, _

_Sometimes love is so confusing, you want to do the right thing honest you do but your minds at odds with your heart and your body betrays you despite all your determined decisions and best efforts. One look, one smile, one kind word, one show of concern, a stray touch and you're lost without even knowing it. It doesn't matter if you've been faithful for months or years. _

_But all of these things could have been prevented if your lover was faithful and loving and there for you. If loved could you slip so far as to betray the one you love? Do you slip so far, betraying him as he betrayed you? And in all the drama you have to wonder is this worth it? Do I want to be hurt again? And always in the back of your mind you ask these same questions of your new lover for aren't all men the same, the end result the same?_

_So where does that leave you? Where does it leave us? I won't deny my first reaction after the shock of what you did was to seek revenge. I wanted to hurt you just like you'd hurt me. I'm not proud of that but I'm only human, as are you, but you you're a tangle of confusion to me – lies and truths so mixed up I can't tell one from the other. Common sense says go, leave him, it isn't your responsibility he's infected with a life threatening disease – you didn't give it to him, he gave it to himself because he didn't respect me or himself, because he didn't really love me, I've suffered enough – he got what he deserved. And yet I could have, should have been better. I should have told you to send him away but I didn't. I did so many things wrong. _

_My heart tells me what my common sense knows but my sense of right and wrong keep tugging at me luring me back to paths I don't feel I can evade. I don't want to forsake you but I'm not strong enough. I'm sorry, please forgive me and know that I forgive you._

_Ororo _

**xox **

Life was full of mistakes and regrets but marrying Logan was neither for Ororo now in her old age. Despite the years that had passed Ororo would always remember the day Logan had come for her like a knight in white armor or at least in a snug white T-shirt. Yukio was involved she was sure of that and truthfully they never would have become engaged if it hadn't been for her friend.

Yukio had insisted Ororo meet her one day after she got off work several months after Ororo had arrived in Tokyo. When they'd met up Yukio had immediately started talking about a disgruntled passenger though Ororo, who was still despondent over Victor and Logan, was only half listening.

"You're not listening are you?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry. What did you say?"

"I said there was this really creepy dude that kept hassling me and there he is now!" Yukio said, pointing to a short man walking toward them.

A cowboy hat shaded the upper part of his face but there was no mistaking the jaunty steady walk. It was Logan, clutching a beat up backpack and wearing a scowl on his ruggedly handsome face. Ororo stared in shock. He dropped the backpack at her feet and then followed suit dropping down on one knee where he took her hand in his.

"Marry me," he said.

"What . . . ?"

"No sex till our honeymoon," he said.

"What?"

"Say yes," Yukio chided.

"Marry me, Ororo."

"I don't think . . ."

"See, that's the problem with you two," Yukio said, "You think too much. Do you know how hard it was for me to get him here so I could see this?"

"I love you," Logan said. "Marry me."

"Logan . . ."

"I don't want to live without you in my life, 'Roro. Whatever it is we have I think it's gonna work."

"Say yes and have a long engagement. You can think then," Yukio laughed.

It sounded so easy. He looked so sincere and so sweet. She fell to her knees and threw her arms around him, joyful and terrified but above all else thankful that he was there. She cried a little, he kissed her face, told her everything was going to be okay and though it wasn't always, the good times far outweighed the bad and he'd been right.

**xox **

Life is bittersweet. Sometimes it's good, sometimes worse than awful. Most take the obstacles thrown at them and run expecting to win or rather to win in the short term. Life isn't a game and to each soul there's an end whether you tried your best or not and no matter your beliefs. Death takes us all – a child lost in the womb, AIDS, violence, old age.

Victor hoped to die of old age but he knew he wouldn't. Like most people he wanted to live forever but he didn't want to be old and feeble and helpless either. He wanted to go out in a blaze of glory but he knew that would never be possible now. He wanted succor, some hope, something to sustain him through his battle with the virus that was claiming his life slowly but absolutely. He didn't want to face the end without knowing there was something more, another journey if you will, something that made his current time on this earth worthwhile.

By a stroke of luck or fate, Victor found what he was looking for. He befriended the man he had long seen outside strip clubs parading around in a Monk's habit spouting warnings about the wages of sins and death. Kurt, attacked the same night Victor had attempted to kill Logan but had changed his mind at the last moment, ended up in the same room as Victor when he'd been admitted. And though Kurt was hurt badly his spirits were high and his goodwill enough to include Victor in his thoughts and prayers. I will not say they became fast friends for Victor secretly ridiculed Kurt at first but Kurt was, if nothing else, as sweet natured as a saint. He assured Victor there was indeed a God who loved him, a God who would forgive him of his sins if only he would confess them and when Victor left the next day Kurt gave him his phone number insisting that he call him if he needed anything.

Because there were so many sins he'd committed Victor could hardly believe that he would be forgiven. He lied when he'd told Logan he was a believer and that he and Ororo went to church every Sunday faithfully. He lied to Kurt when he said he understood all his mumble jumble. In truth, he really had no grasp of. It wasn't until he received a letter from Ororo nearly a year later that he truly saw the truth; that he _wasn't_ the big bad wolf who deserved to be strung up, skinned alive and tortured for an eternity; that he could truly be forgiven. In her letter she'd said she forgave him but what affected him so deeply was that she asked _him_ to forgive _her_. Ororo Munroe, who was perfect in his eyes and whom he couldn't have blame for their broken relationship if he'd wanted to had asked _him_ to forgive _her_! That's when he knew there was a God and that's when he gave his life to the Lord and under Kurt's tutelage he strove to become a better man – a better human being.

Oh, it would be easy to lie and say he became perfect and never had a cruel thought or acted viciously again but he tried and that was all God asked for or so Kurt told him and Victor, seeing how easy that was, believed him and was thankful. He was also thankful for a fascinating side effect. His nightmares, which had stopped when he'd been with Ororo, had come back tenfold after she left him but when he turned to God they disappeared entirely – another sign that God was real. Knowing, believing that God was real he had so many questions about life and death and the hereafter not even Kurt could answer them all. Like Logan though he had the gift of rapid healing, being retro they called it, and he often wondered could he actually die? When he'd gotten infected he knew, yes he could die and would die someday. Having faith gave him the reassurance he'd needed faced with HIV, he knew where he was going in the end, he knew there was something more, something better and that alone gave him the strength to go on.

He lost a little weight at first not taking his medicine as he should, not caring whether he died now or later. He let himself go but he eventually met a nurse who was able to talk some sense into him and she wasn't half bad in the sack either. Natural lust was always his greatest vice next to violence and he hoped to be forgiven his few indiscretions. Because of Kurt and Ororo's influence on him he eventually became a Big Brother, a mentor to many young boys through the Big Brother's organization and though the few friends he had laughed when they found out he tried his best to be there for the boys unlike his own father who'd never been there for him.

Ororo would have been proud of him had she known. He never told her though Kurt would many years later. Victor just wanted to leave something good behind when he left this world. He didn't care what anyone thought about him before or after his conversion. He didn't need plaudits and acknowledgement he only wanted conviction and reassurance that he was a decent man, a decent human being who had made a difference, who had given his best and isn't that what most of us want?

All this happened without Logan and Ororo being aware of it. Logan had legally left his construction company to Victor as if that would wash his hands clean though in his heart he knew it wasn't so. Though things did change for the better when they moved into the perfect little white house complete with the perfect little white picket fence, along with the security of a better neighborhood, wedded bliss is a hard thing to achieve every day of every year but they always strived hard. Ororo had begun to feel the conflict that had warred inside her heart ebb when Logan told her he didn't mind her keeping in touch with Victor. That one small concession actually allowed them both to finally give up the guilt and anger that had haunted them, casting a dark shadow over their marriage in those early months. She readily saw now that her love affair with Victor had been confused with lust enhanced by loneliness and need. His betrayal and the HIV scare had been a traumatic wake up call forcing her to do some deep soul searching but she'd survived and felt she'd made out very well. She was happy.

Logan too was happy. He no longer drank like a fish, had even started another successful business as a contractor. He finally gave up trying to be the macho sole provider and didn't fuss too much when Ororo decided she wanted to go back to work part time. They were doing well financially again and as everyone knows when there are no money worries there're less problems in a relationship. Logan felt he had the best wife any man could ask for and he was sure she felt the same about him as a husband. They'd overcome Victor which said a lot in his opinion. The occasional letter that Ororo received from Victor in reply to hers did little more than perk his curiosity.

Each year passed in relative contentment despite their ups and downs. Ororo's close friends Anna and Remy moved to New York after a few years passed and being able to talk to them like she used to, though she never did tell them about the AIDS scare she'd had, was a great comfort. Anna had managed to get transferred to New York with the airline and they were able to work together occasionally. They talked about everything, mostly why Remy was so reluctant to marry her, a continuing sore point with the southern belle and sometimes they discussed life and death and children too, some of the same things Victor often thought of during that time.

"If I were you I'd give him an ultimatum," Ororo told Anna as they prepared to greet the on boarding passengers one afternoon.

"Easy for you to say, sugah," Anna replied.

"It's either that or start looking around for someone else."

"Ah can't do that, Ororo. Remy's a part of me ah can't get rid kind of like a canker sore that keeps comin' back."

"I've told you before, Anna, Remy's not the marrying type," Ororo said with a smile, "you're better off joining a convent and becoming a nun."

"Oh boy! You have officially lost your mind, girl!" Rogue laughed and Ororo's laughter joined hers.

Passengers began to board and Anna started to check their boarding passes. After a dozen or so people had boarded she gave a little gasp and her jaw dropped as her eyes grew wide in disbelief. Ororo, who was answering a question one of the passengers had asked, glanced up and her mouth fell too. Her heart felt as if it had lodged in her throat as she peered at a tall slender man wearing a cowboy hat so low it covered most of his face. He was surrounded by two women, one who handed Anna their tickets and the other who was scolding him about something or another. As they moved on Ororo and Anna exchanged looks – surely that couldn't be who they thought it was – could it? And then the man turned around, lifted his hat slightly and stared hard at them grinning like the proverbial Cheshire cat, a grin Ororo was very familiar with. It was Victor, changed but not. He winked at Ororo then calmly led his companions to their seats.

He was so different. Ororo's hand pressed against her heart. He was thinner now but still as craggily handsome, the leanness giving his face more pronounced cheekbones. She wondered what he was doing on the same flight. He hadn't said hello at all. What did that mean?

"Boy, he sure has lost a lot of weight," Anna mumbled before she turned to the next passenger.

He _had_ lost a lot of weight, Ororo thought. She suddenly felt cold all over. There was no lingering attraction or guilt but she still felt funny. They had kept in touch though sporadically. He hadn't mentioned a trip or the women or that he was going to be on her flight. It made her nervous. What was he planning? She tried to laugh, wished she had on a bulletproof vest and then she did laugh genuinely. She was letting her conscious get the better of her. He wasn't there to kill her, in fact, he'd confessed in one of the few letters she'd had from him that he still loved her but he wasn't angry any more. Besides getting a gun through security would be more than difficult even for an ex felon, she mused.

"So, girl's this is the woman who broke my heart," Victor said when Ororo walked by.

"Victor!" she laughed as he pulled her down onto his lap.

"Don't suppose Logan would mind if I kissed you do you? For old times sake?"

But she had no time to answer as his lips landed on hers. Instead of the searing passionate kiss she expected it was a sweet gentle peck and then another one just as tender. That took her by surprise. When he saw the look on her face he roared with laughter. She was just as beautiful, hadn't changed a bit, was just as sexy but the burning desire he'd felt for her had faded. He remembered their wild times and his smile widen.

"You're looking good, babe," he said.

She couldn't truthfully say the same of him. With the weight loss she wondered if he was taking his medication. He saw the look and nodded.

"I'm taking my meds like a good boy, okay? An' you can ask my nurse here – go ahead, Birdy tell her," he said, indicating the woman sitting closest to him.

"He's being as good as Victor can get," Birdy said with a smirk.

Ororo looked at the woman and then remembered herself. She removed herself from Victor's lingering hands and smoothed down her uniform and tried to introduce herself.

"Hi, I'm . . ."

"Ororo," the woman by the window seat said. "He won't shut up about you." She didn't seem impressed or pleased to meet Ororo.

"Why didn't you tell me you were going to be on my flight?" Ororo asked Victor turning her attention back to him.

"Thought I'd surprise you, say hey, get a kiss, you know, from my sweetie."

The way he said that made her smile. She leaned down and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"I'm glad you're well, Victor," she said.

"Makes two of us."

They were silent for a few seconds as they looked at each other, his companions forgotten.

"Now when you an' the runt have kids you better name the boys after me."

"The boys?"

"Yeah, he's got it in 'im; you'll have lots of boys. He used ta want a whole basketball team, he tell you that?"

"Well, he's not getting them from me!" Ororo laughed.

Victor's loud baritone laughter rang out and then he said,

"It's really good to see you, Ro."

"Not me," the woman at the window said under her breath.

"Aw, don't be like that, Mystie," Victor snorted. "If it weren't for Ro we wouldn't be back together."

"Don't remind me," Mystie said and she turned to looked out the window.

"Sometimes two's better 'n one," Victor whispered, "One acts up you got the other one to hang with, shoulda thought of this a long time ago."

Because he hadn't changed except for the weight loss Ororo shook her head and laughed. After the initial apprehension she'd felt it was good seeing Victor again. They talked a little off and on during the flight and he hugged her tight when they landed, said he'd write. She had the feeling he wouldn't but it was such a relief seeing him, knowing that he was all right that she didn't care. She was so lost in thoughts of Victor as she watched him walk away with his companions, one scolding him and the other ignoring him, that she didn't notice Remy had come up to her and Anna.

With a handful of roses of deep red and on bended knee Remy finally asked Anna to become his lawful wife. Only the shrill screech of joy from Anna brought Ororo back to the moment. She'd almost forgotten Remy's ploy and her part in it, to distract Anna because she'd been distracted so much by Victor. Fortunately Anna hadn't gotten away before Remy showed up. The happy couple were hugging and kissing and then pulling her into their hug. Briefly she caught sight of Victor over Anna's shoulder, he tipped his hat to her and winked before throwing his arms around Birdy and Mystie and going on his way. It was the last she ever saw of him.

**xox**

"Hey, Vic get your butt over here!" Logan shouted. He still looked almost exactly as he had when he'd first met Ororo. He had the distinguished gray and white markings along his mutton chops signifying old age and a few wrinkles marring his brow but he was still in fantastic shape, still solidly built and just as handsome.

"Where's your grandmother little man?" he asked a little brown haired boy who was playing with a remote control car on the patio.

"She's in the garden, want to play cars with me, Grandpa?" the little boy said.

"We'll play later, okay? Help me find your grandmother."

The little boy sat the remote control down on a wicker chair and slipped a hand into one of Logan's.

Logan squeezed the child's hand and together they walked around to the side of the large red brick house that faced a wide open field. They found Ororo sitting on a bench watching the sun set over the meadow. She too looked youthful in her old age, her once attention garnering white hair became her even more so now, her eyes were still clear, bright blue and only the creases on either side of her mouth gave away her age for her face was wrinkle free and her body still slender.

"'Roro, darlin' . . ."

"Oh, Logan! I'm so glad you came home early, sweetheart." She rose and fell into his embrace, the little one clinging to one of her legs as toddlers do. "I was just thinking."

"Thinkin' or daydreamin'?"

"A little of both."

"I came home right after talking to Yukio. She said she was gonna call you."

"She did, so did Kurt."

Logan cleared his throat and thrust some papers into Ororo's hand as he let her go.

"Kurt faxed these over before I left the office," he said noting the sadness on her face.

She met his eyes and smiled forlornly and took the papers while their grandson ran around them in wide circles. She sighed deeply as she read:

"Yo _Logan,_

_I always hated you from the moment we met you know. Your little short stuff was always bailing me out of trouble. And the women you got dude! Man when I got Ro it was like hitting the jackpot in Vegas but you stole her from me. Aw I ain't mad I didn't treat her right like she deserved. But I did try to kill you. I couldn't though because Yukio was with you. Yukio's alright. Maybe being with Ro made me soft I don't know._

_You always had my back helping me out like you did so I can't blame you for zapping my woman when I done yours. I wanted you to know I never meant to do what I did to you bro. Ro said well it don't matter what she said. I loved that woman. You tell her for me. She wasn't like no other woman I ever knew but you know that. Take care of her. You know I love you bro. I got to thank you for everything you done helping me out all them times._

I got to tell you being saved was the best thing that ever happened to me cause it really did save me. I don't hate you any more. I need to ask you to forgive me for being a prick all those times. Talk to Kurt you and Mystie cause she still don't believe and I don't want her to burn. You know what if that's really how it is? I wouldn't wish that on my worse enemy. I'm pretty sure there's going to be a judgment day but I'm ready. I did the best I could. So come to my funeral man and dance on my grave. It'll be like old times in a way.

_Victor Creed_"

She glanced at Logan but he was chasing little Victor over the lawn now. She smiled at the sight of the elderly man she loved with all her heart and the young tyke whom she loved just as much. Seeing them at play eased the sadness somehow and she sat down on the bench to read the second letter.

"_Dear Ro,_

_Everything I touched I ruined till I met you Ro. You and Kurt were pretty much the only good people I ever met and Logan too I can't forget the runt. I asked Kurt to send you this as soon as he knows when I die because I wanted you to know right away. He's going to take care of everything. He was a good friend and not a bad priest either. _

_They been cutting me up like they did my grandpa way back when. Didn't want you to know. Let me tell you it ain't fun so I'm ready to go. You know Ro I would've married you and I ain't the marrying type but if it couldn't be me I'm glad it was Logan. Yukio says you two did alright for yourselves. I remember he told me he was going to always be in love with you and I guess he meant it. You make sure little Victor don't turn out to be no bad seed alright? And I'll see you on the other side._

_Love,_

_Victor Creed_

"_P.S. Read the letter I wrote to Logan."_

When he saw Ororo had finished the letters and was again looking off into the distance Logan went over and sat down beside her. Little Victor climbed into his lap barely out of breath though Logan was breathing hard.

"What you lookin' at Gran'mama?" the little boy asked.

"Sunset, Vic, it's a beauty today," Logan said.

"It is beautiful don't you think, Victor?" Ororo remarked.

"Yes!" said the child in youthful exuberance.

"When the sun sets it's you can start dreaming of a day that's going be even better because it's brand new and you can make it into whatever you want. Every day's a new beginning . . . I think that's what he meant," Ororo said, remembering Victor in all his youthful glory sitting on the beach surprisingly waxing poetic so long ago.

"Huh?" asked the little one, confused. Ororo ruffled his curls and pressed a loving kiss to his forehead.

"They're beautiful just like you, Victor," she whispered and Logan didn't know if she was talking to their grandson or possibly to Victor Creed's spirit.

Victor had died early that morning. Yukio had phoned them both with the news for she had kept in touch with Victor over the years even visiting him sometimes when she was in California. At one point they'd thought the two might even get together but Yukio was a free spirit and though she dated him off and on when he was in between girlfriends, Mystie was the one constant in Victor's life. He'd never wanted to marry anyone not even Mystie especially Mystie but in the end Kurt had stressed the importance of fidelity and Victor had given in. Oddly enough Mystie was much older than he'd thought, and he found out that Kurt was actually her son, which made him Kurt's stepfather something that amused Victor to no end. They still fought like cats and dogs after they were married though that may have been the attraction, but they had an understanding and it worked for the most part. They even had a child whom they named Graydon. They were both there when he died – complications from diabetes. Kurt was there as well.

Ororo, who had deserted Victor in his hour of need instead of tending to him as a lover might have, felt a sadness she would never be able to express. She'd never forgotten him or that because of him she'd found the man she'd loved and made a good life with. She'd long ago made her peace with all that had happened and so had Logan. Old age brought that, peace and contentment, at least to those with good hearts. They could look back over their years together and be satisfied for they'd had more joy than sadness. Their twins, now grown, a girl who looked like a blend of Ororo and Logan and a boy who favored Logan, were both married and successful and their grandson was the apple of their eye. For them their dream had come true and they hoped somehow Victor's had too.

**Finis**


End file.
